Bullying at work

[tj_nails]

Hi not been on here for a long time.Had so much things happen to me over the past few years like my husband left me,my grandad died of cancer,was ill with vertigo,just 2007 was the worse year in my life.
Now im off work with depression due to bullying at work its been going on for the last few months and i have just put up with it as im not the person to say anything back to someone, but on friday my manager had another go at me so i walked out and called him a bully and that he always picks on me left work crying.today i have letter of agrievance to take to my big boss about my manager bullying me with my sick note from my docs im so scared to go and take it as not sure what will happen has anyone ever done this before??
thx xxx

 

[weezie]

Gosh you poor thing. I guess if you want to take it further I would make sure you have written down all the instances of bullying that have taken place as evidence. I haven't been in this situation before, but logically they will probably need to hear both sides of the story in order to resolve things. :hug: I'm sure other geeks will have advise. You've been through a lot.

You could also call this organisation http://www.bullyingbusiness.co.uk/ it looks like a great source of information.

 

[collin]

Wow you do seem to have been through a lot of bad stuff...all the more reason to get on top of this issue and clear the way for a better future.

Bullying at school is bad enough but as an adult ...well that not only shouldn't be allowed to happen but as an adult you do need to stand up against this sort of nonsense :hug:

The previous link from weezie is a very good start.

You really must take that letter in..i know its going to be hard but you do need to be strong and go through with it...is there anyone that can perhaps go in with you as moral support kind of thing.

Good luck :hug:

 

[1999judy]

Poor you x
Get in touch with your local CAB and see if they can offer some help x

 

[champagne]

I took a grievence out against my former employer & in the finish they paid me off....

It was very upsetting and I really had to be hard to get through it....

Looking back now... best thing i ever did.

xx good luck xx

 

[RedAdmiral]

Stand firm and say that today is the first day of the rest of your life! What happened in the past is in the past, you are stronger, tougher and have learnt lessons. Bullying is pathetic take your letter in and take action. Dont feel down it wasnt your fault just say to yourself that it will never happen to you again and mean it you are worth more.

 

[superdidi]

Take that letter in and be strong. Even though you may feel scared of taking that first step, you will feel much better once you have done it. I have a part time job in a supermarket and two weeks ago my manager called me into the office to have a chat with me. When I got there there were other managers in the office doing some paperwork so I didnt think too much about it. But then she proceeded to have a go at me about an issue that had been raised about me by one of her teamleaders. She raised her voice and completely lost control of her temper. I told her that just beacuse she was given this information does not mean that it is true and that she should have asked for my side of the story before making any conclusions. She replied by saying ' Those are my teamleaders and you are just a cashier' implying that my word meant nothing.
Well to cut the story short, I left the office, collected my bag and went home. The follwing day I wrote a latter to my HR manager about this incident and asked for it to be fuly investigated and dealt with accordingly. She has now been spoken to and this grievance will remain on her file. She apoligised through the HR manager and the matter is now closed.
Anyways my point is that you have to stand up for yourself, if you dont then noone else will. Once this issue has been dealt with you will be a much stronger person, and your manager will know better than to pick on you again. If he did continue with his behaviour he will know that he could end up losing his job.

Good luck and hope you manage to have it sorted out soon. xx

 

[Gilly T]

IMO bullying is anything that singles you out as an individual and when what is happening offends you or makes you feel uncomfortable. Obviously it must have been something like this to make you feel so upset and to leave work. You can't let this person continue to treat you in this way because something will have to give in the long run and that something will be you unless you do something about it.

You are doing the right thing by writing this letter and taking it in. Also giving it to that persons superior is a good thing to do, that way they will know that you are not afraid to take action in the future.

Bullying in the workplace is more common than we all think.. even just a little banter to one person is bullying, to another it's just banter. It's how the person receiving it feels that's important.

The person who is making you feel this way needs to adjust their behaviour in one way or another and they are not going to do this unless they think about the upset they are causing.

Get that letter in and hold your head up high... :hug:

 

[sknight]

I really feel for you. Please don't back down, I had a manager who treated me different because I was the only one without children and in the end had to make a formal complaint to my General Manager which took some time to resolve and was quite upsetting but the outcome was worth it and to be honest I am much stronger for it. No-one crosses me now haha. Stay strong and expose their behaviour and in the end I am sure you will feel better for it. HTH :hug:

 

[tj_nails]

Hi just to say thx for all your messages.
im going into work today to speak to the managing director with my letter at 4 this afternoon im so not looking forward to it i feel sick just sat here thinking about going but i know its got to be done.
just thought i would tell you what the bully has been saying to me=
says i go home at 5 on the dot but thats my hours i work till 5 like everyone else does but its only me he says this to.
also says i cause an atmosphere in the room his wife works in but i dont even work in that room im in my own room on my own!!
says i have time off for docs and to see my solicitor and i never make my time up for going out of work this is a lie as everytime i need to go somewhere i ask the bully if i can start work at 7 which i can make an hour up and use for docs or solicitors and he lets me!
keeps saying if i dont like it u know where the door is!
friday was the day i walked out as my extraction fan was not working and i told him but i still get called a liar and a bullshi**er had to prove to him im not a liar and i ended up saying to him all you do is pick on me and your a bully and then i walked out went straight to docs and he put me on the sick with depression also have that dry skin thing on my elbows cant think what it is called but it itches and skin flakes away doc said its from stress!!
well will let you all know later what happens.
thx again xxx