Children born to unmarried mothers ?

[Lellipop]

Just watching the daytime news and they are having a debate about children born out of wedlock.
What are your opinions on this should kids be born to lone and unmarried mothers ????

 

[Fingertips ND]

What does it matter as long as they are loved unconditionally?

 

[Becky120881]

I had my son when I wasn't married and know a few others that have kids when they aren't married.

These days I don't think it matters, but I know My husbands parents were not very happy when we told them I was pregnant they acctually said don't you think you should wait untill you are married but it was abit by late by then, so we did things abit backwards.

 

[Bagpuss]

me me me ...i am unmarried with 3 kids...lol

as long as the kids are happy and well loved then i dont think it matters.

Robs late grandma used to say to me..."in the eyes of the lord you are married to robert and thats why he blessed you with 3 little angels"...aww i miss her. xx

 

[ValencianNails]

as long as the children are loved, cared for and provided for I don't see a problem.

if the mother keeps getting pregnant and sponging off the government then it becomes a whole new discussion.

 

[Lellipop]

I think it was looking also at the massive rise in women who are single deciding to have kids when there is going to be no father around.

 

[mobile nail tec]

i have three kids, by two different dads, when the oldest 2 were born and i was married to there father, the youngest was under 1 when we split up, and what a heartache that was for the kids, about 5 years later met my new partner and after 6 months together fell pregant.

we have had our ups and down, but we are not married, and i don't want to get married again at this moment in time. we are a loving supporting family who have issues, but doesn't every one. married or not.

think it up to the couple themselves if they want to marry or not.
it's only a title/name change anyway. does not prove to any that you love each other more.

 

[loualarta]

I have 3 children by 2 different dads. I was 18 when I fell pregnant with my first and split with the father when james was 6 months old. I am now married to the father of other two children (liam nearly 4 and grace 10 months) my daughter was the only one concieved when being married. I really dont think it matters if a child has 1 or 2 parents as long as it is loved and has a safe stable home life. afterall one good parent is soooo much better than 2 absolutly crap ones dont you think?

 

[Lady H]

I dont think there is a problem the majority of the time, its only as mentioned earlier when people do it purposely to sponge off the government that most people would find any reason to object

 

[Lellipop]

I totally agree with all that been said.
The debate said that 49% of kids are born out of wedlock and they asked the public their views one old women said "I think its digusting these women keep having kids and then getting council houses and handouts" But in my opinion thats not the 49% thats probably about 2%.

 

[MINKUS]

i personally didnt want kids out of wedlock, but i dont see it as a problem/it doesnt bother me for anyone else.

The only thing i dont get is.....why peeps wont get married if they have had kids.

My sis in laws hubby wont marry her....how odd? i think it much more of a commitment to bring a child into the world with someone than to marry them??


I also personally dont particularly like the idea of a woman having lots of kids with lots of different dads.

I spose life doesnt always work out how you intend it to ....whatever works...if the kids are happy, loved, secure......i dont think it matters a jot.

amb x

 

[tink18]

a signed piece of paper makes no difference to your parenting skills

 

[tink18]

I totally agree with all that been said.
The debate said that 49% of kids are born out of wedlock and they asked the public their views one old women said "I think its digusting these women keep having kids and then getting council houses and handouts" But in my opinion thats not the 49% thats probably about 2%.

my sister is a single mother and she has no handouts from anybody she works full time while my nephew goes to sure start, which, some people may not agree with but because he has alot of medical problems being in the nursery with other children has helped his development and has been a positive thing for him. he wants for nothing

 

[tnight]

i have to two kids to my partner and we are not married

we are planning to eventually but not just yet.
i dont think it matters if your married or not these days

 

[Roso]

I had my eldest child before I married, and continued working until the day before she was born and then back to work within 2 weeks, my other two were born after marriage.:wink2: I agree with others that as long as the child(ren) are wanted, loved and happy thats all that counts, after all children are wonderful gifts to be cherished.!!!:Love:

 

[Vetty]

I think there's a world of difference between having children in a secure loving unmarried relationship and not knowing (or caring) who the father is and having no male role model in a child's life.

I know relationships break down, parents aren't perfect (hey, life aint perfect), but to have the intention of giving your child a stable unbringing with 2 parents has to be the ideal.

I would never critisise women who end up looking after kids on their own when a relationship has been unhappy, 1 happy parent is more healthy for kids than 2 unhappy ones. But, I do have an issue with young girls treating children like an accessory with no thought to what is best for the kids.

 

[Bud]

I think it was looking also at the massive rise in women who are single deciding to have kids when there is going to be no father around.

...don't shoot me.. but.... I couldnt 100% for definite say what I would do, if I found myself, say in 10yrs time, with no children and without a long-term partner. I am 27 now and had honestly thought I would have had children by now, but obviously that's not always how it works out! If I was in the same situation at 37... would I attempt to have a child alone?? probably.

having children is all i've ever really wanted, so i don't know if i could give up that dream. I suppose that's a really selfish attitude???

 

[Bagpuss]

...don't shoot me.. but.... I couldnt 100% for definite say what I would do, if I found myself, say in 10yrs time, with no children and without a long-term partner. I am 27 now and had honestly thought I would have had children by now, but obviously that's not always how it works out! If I was in the same situation at 37... would I attempt to have a child alone?? probably.

having children is all i've ever really wanted, so i don't know if i could give up that dream. I suppose that's a really selfish attitude???

I dunno Laura...someone who would chose to go to those lengths and be prepared to work hard at being a single mother must have alot to give...i don't think its selfish to want kids. :hug:

 

[paulette]

Well I became pregnant and the father split up from me and I brought my daughter up single handedly and I dont regret a second I love my daughter and am quite happy...she is 3 now and I definately made the right decision to go ahead with having my daughter alone.

 

[LBR]

Well I don't think having children out of wedlock is a new thing.

My granny born 1909 was the first of 7 (I think) and she and her sister were born with different fathers. Brothers I'm told!

My granny then went on herself to have a child out of wedlock too.

I don't think it's such a new think afterall.