Diets and weight loss - Ladies, you worry me.

['chelle]

Now, let me say first I AM NOT AIMING THIS AT ONE INDIVIDUAL. I have commented on related threads lately and this is not in response to any one of them, it is just a general response to the issue as a whole.

During my time on this site I have seen so many comments from people advocating extreme diets, faddy diets, slimming tablets, and so many other things that are typically from women who are desperate to lose weight and will believe anything the bearer of a product tells them if they promise weight loss.

The fact is that there is no secret answer to weight loss. Take regular exercise in sensible amounts, eat a balanced diet in sensible propotions, and in time you will be the weight you should be. It will not happen overnight, and there is nothing out there that can help you to acheive instant weight loss unless it is to the detriment of your health.

I say this with experience. My mother bless her, is a wonderful woman, but like so many women she feels the pressure of the media and the fashion world to be thin, if you aint a size 10, you're obese etc, and she has tried every diet and weight loss concept you can imagine. The last diet she went on was a complete meal replacement diet (I wont mention the brand name, but its a well known one), which you get from the chemist, and basically while you are on it you dont eat food at all, its like being on slimfast 100% of the time.

I wont bore you with the ins and outs of how all this has escalated, but suffice to say that over the years she has jumped from one extreme diet to another, and the result is this: Her nails are crumbling, her hair is falling out, and she was in hospital at Christmas because she now has liver damage which may be irreversible. It has been confirmed by medical professionals that it is highly likely that her dieting patterns have caused these effects on her health, particularly the meal replacement diet which contains an ingredient which acts as an effective bulking agent to stop you feeling hungry, but that can cause liver damage with long term use.

Personally I'm comfortable with my weight, I'm a very healthy size 14 thankyou very much, and have no desire to give in to pressure to be stick thin, and its awful to stand by and watch someone destroy themselves in the pursuit of beauty (she's actually not very beautiful at the moment, she looks drawn and tired).

So ladies, please, dont do it. Eat sensibly, exercise sensibly, and if anyone dares judge you on your size, well, a friend wouldnt even dream of that!. Some of the most beautiful people I know are large women indeed, and whilst the health implications of being overweight are well documented, well, just read above, the health implications of excessive dieting are just as bad for you.

Love yourself for what you are, and throw those slimming pills in the bin!

 

[absolutly fab!]

Now, let me say first I AM NOT AIMING THIS AT ONE INDIVIDUAL. I have commented on related threads lately and this is not in response to any one of them, it is just a general response to the issue as a whole.

During my time on this site I have seen so many comments from people advocating extreme diets, faddy diets, slimming tablets, and so many other things that are typically from women who are desperate to lose weight and will believe anything the bearer of a product tells them if they promise weight loss.

The fact is that there is no secret answer to weight loss. Take regular exercise in sensible amounts, eat a balanced diet in sensible propotions, and in time you will be the weight you should be. It will not happen overnight, and there is nothing out there that can help you to acheive instant weight loss unless it is to the detriment of your health.

I say this with experience. My mother bless her, is a wonderful woman, but like so many women she feels the pressure of the media and the fashion world to be thin, if you aint a size 10, you're obese etc, and she has tried every diet and weight loss concept you can imagine. The last diet she went on was a complete meal replacement diet (I wont mention the brand name, but its a well known one), which you get from the chemist, and basically while you are on it you dont eat food at all, its like being on slimfast 100% of the time.

I wont bore you with the ins and outs of how all this has escalated, but suffice to say that over the years she has jumped from one extreme diet to another, and the result is this: Her nails are crumbling, her hair is falling out, and she was in hospital at Christmas because she now has liver damage which may be irreversible. It has been confirmed by medical professionals that it is highly likely that her dieting patterns have caused these effects on her health, particularly the meal replacement diet which contains an ingredient which acts as an effective bulking agent to stop you feeling hungry, but that can cause liver damage with long term use.

Personally I'm comfortable with my weight, I'm a very healthy size 14 thankyou very much, and have no desire to give in to pressure to be stick thin, and its awful to stand by and watch someone destroy themselves in the pursuit of beauty (she's actually not very beautiful at the moment, she looks drawn and tired).

So ladies, please, dont do it. Eat sensibly, exercise sensibly, and if anyone dares judge you on your size, well, a friend wouldnt even dream of that!. Some of the most beautiful people I know are large women indeed, and whilst the health implications of being overweight are well documented, well, just read above, the health implications of excessive dieting are just as bad for you.

Love yourself for what you are, and throw those slimming pills in the bin!

intresting reading, u r right. May be its not diet that r needed but confidence boosting and" finding them selves". Hope your mum is ok

 

[pips]

You know what chelle, you are so right and i can feel the sadness in your text.
I think you said what you needed to say without having a go at anyone or pointing the finger. It was well written and comes across lovely.

I myself have huge hangups about my weight and size and it all comes down to how i saw my mum struggle with hers. She wasnt even that big a woman, ide say at her worst she was probably a size 14 but that 14 was obese in her eyes.
Ive always been a good size 14, size 16 at my biggest and occasionaly a good size 12 if i decide to do a few months of sensible eating. Im not happy with my body but i have learnt to try love it, after all its the only one we will have.

I can honestly say sat here typing this that i believe the years of yoyo dieting, faddy diets and diet pills caused the death of my mum.
The 2 months prior to her death she would only drink tea and eat a bar of chocolate a day.
I remember quite clearly the day before i found her, i looked at her and begged her not to lose any more weight as i thought she was looking drawn in the face but it was hard to get angry with her as she had been given some clothes by her sister (who was always slim and size 10/12) and she tried a pair of trousers on that fastened up and was still loose, her face lit up as if to say "finaly i can wear clothes that dont feel tight"

If only she could have seen she was beautifull no matter what she may still be here today, as it is its 4 years on the 22nd since that dreadfull day.
It really is a case of educating and eating healthy, i know it can be done as last year i joined Weight Watchers and over a period of 8 weeks i lost 1st with sensible eating.

I may not have stuck to it and gained a good few pounds back but im working on that again now im getting back on my feet after a few months of been ill.

I hope your mum can find happiness within her self and learn to love the person she is and not damage her body any further.

Good thread, one i feel alot of people should read and take note of :hug:

 

[Kim Lawless]

Personally I'm comfortable with my weight, I'm a very healthy size 14 quote]


Ah!!!! The magic words. If you were overweight to the point that you lacked self esteem and found buying clothes an absolute chore, then you too would be trying to find that magic diet or pill.

I totally get your reasoning and your kind concern though, but honestly, being overweight goes much deeper for a lot of people that just eating too much. It's usually to do with emotional eating and goes a lot deeper. xxx:hug:

 

[Lavender-blue]

I can understand exactly what you are saying, and totally agree with what you are saying. I really feel for you, and your mom. This is clearly a subject close to your heart. :hug::hug:

But I also agree with Kim(wax queen) ,being the typical libran that I am can relate to both sides of weight issues.

Kims right when being overweight affects your self esteem, confidence, and rules your life, its not always as simple as taking regular exercise and eating a balanced diet (maybe in theory it is) but not in reality. I does go much much deeper.
I wish it was that simple to just eat a balanced diet and exercise, none of us would have a weight problem if it was as simple as that.

Unless you have actually walked and lived and breathed in the shoes of someone who has a severe weight problem it is very hard to relate to and understand.
I mean that from both ends of the scale - the inability to lose weight and the obsessiveness of eating or undereating so as to not gain weight.

You are right chelle there is no secret answer to weight loss BUT it is not as simple as sensible eating. If only.

Good thread .

Elaine xxxxx:hug::hug:

 

[Joannesnails]

Greath thread and I agree 100%. I think its bad how ladies and women and girls that are slim already feel they have to loose weight to be like the models and all the celebs in the magz now days! I think its terrible that the media try to drum it into peoples head that they should be a size 4 or lower, as the women that are bigger than size 4 makes them feel insecure and that they should be as thin as them - when thats not true, for instance ive seen plenty of surveys in womens magz that men prefer curvy women and they dont find super skinny women attractive! I am only a size 8 coming up to a size 10 but i love it i want to get bigger (i am reasonably tall 5,6) which is why im slim for my age, i dont want to be a size 8 id infact love to be a size 12 as i think it looks fab! We are who we are if your born a bit over weight and you still are be happy with it and accept it as we all beautiful no matter what! Dont feel the pressure to loose weight, be yourself and be happy with it! If you do want to loose weight (this doesnt include sizes 8-16) Then take our advice and do it the safe way and dont go to far with it.

P.s sorry if i offended anyone xxx

 

[mercedes69]

Well you know I agree with you Michelle xxxxxx :hug:

 

[Joannesnails]

Also another thing to add... If your feeling insecure about your weight, looks etc take a look at this

Style, Fashion & Beauty Tips - How To Look Good Naked - Channel4

I think Gok wang is absoloutly FAB!! Ive watched it plenty of times and ive seen women go on there who think their over weight or ugly and they come off the show looking gorgeous and most important feeling gorgeous! IMO i think if women are a little over weight and feel ugly or insecure then you dont always need to lose weight, find the right clothing to make you look great and slimmer, put your war paint on (make-up) get a spray tan and your nails done and you will be feeling 100% again without losing weight! xxx

 

[Kim Lawless]

LOVING THIS THREAD !

I'd like to add that other women are very often the ones that make other women feel bad about their weight and not men as is often portrayed. When people are jealous or angry, they'll attack the one thing that you hate about yourself...........and for me, that's my weight.

Confession time: I tried my hardest to not appear on GMTV recently, simply because of my weight. I'm dreading working at Excel because I imagine that geeks will be shocked when they see me and think 'Bloody hell! I didn't realise that she was that fat'.

Having said all that, I don't think that because someone is slim that it makes them better than me and God knows, there's enough ugly skinny women around. I never feel inferior to anyone and don't really care about how slim they are, I just feel embarrassed about my weight.

But hey! Before I book myself into The Priory, all that aside, I'm a very tough, ballsy lady and it's something that I have to deal with and I don't blame anything or anyone else. xxx

 

[Joannesnails]

LOVING THIS THREAD !

I'd like to add that other women are very often the ones that make other women feel bad about their weight and not men as is often portrayed. When people are jealous or angry, they'll attack the one thing that you hate about yourself...........and for me, that's my weight.

Confession time: I tried my hardest to not appear on GMTV recently, simply because of my weight. I'm dreading working at Excel because I imagine that geeks will be shocked when they see me and think 'Bloody hell! I didn't realise that she was that fat'.

Having said all that, I don't think that because someone is slim that it makes them better than me and God knows, there's enough ugly skinny women around. I never feel inferior to anyone and don't really care about how slim they are, I just feel embarrassed about my weight.

But hey! Before I book myself into The Priory, all that aside, I'm a very tough, ballsy lady and it's something that I have to deal with and I don't blame anything or anyone else. xxx

Good for you sweetie!!! Be happy with yourself and accept yourself, And i agree women do attack at what imperfections we have like my sister is a natural Ginger but has dark hair now and people used to use that to put her down and yet still the people who know she used to be ginger still use that to get to her, but she doesnt care no-more as there is loads of beautiful red heads out there! Remember its out imperfections that make us perfect!!xx

 

[sodabubble]

I think that anyone who says 'I'm a size 14 and I don't care' probably has no idea how it feels to be a size 24/26/28 or bigger - some girls would kill to be a size 16!

not aimed at anyone, and I am not generalising, just making a point

 

[sodabubble]

btw wax queen I think you're gorgeous xx

 

[HappyHands]

I completley agree with what is said....

But.. it may not be just the media, and bitc** women,

My hubby went to the doctors a few month ago, he is 6"4 and weighs 216lbs, he is very active and not a couch spud.. when he was weighed and his BMI was reached the doctor told him he was "obese" yes " obese".. if that does not give you a complex nothing will. After I picked myself up of the floor from laughing sooooo much I could not believe what he had said, I even told him this much..

So We cant just blame the media and other girlies, if a doctor tells you something like this it will make you think really hard..

 

[Joannesnails]

I completley agree with what is said....

But.. it may not be just the media, and bitc** women,

My hubby went to the doctors a few month ago, he is 6"4 and weighs 216lbs, he is very active and not a couch spud.. when he was weighed and his BMI was reached the doctor told him he was "obese" yes " obese".. if that does not give you a complex nothing will. After I picked myself up of the floor from laughing sooooo much I could not believe what he had said, I even told him this much..

So We cant just blame the media and other girlies, if a doctor tells you something like this it will make you think really hard..

100 and million percent agree with you, brings to mind when i went to the doctors for my pill check as you know they weigh you and doctor said to me do you smoke i said yes, then he said do you drink i said no and he re-looked at the scales and said are you sure you dont drink?? i was like nooo!! As mostly when people drink too much they tend to put weight on, im only a size 8-10 how dare he xx

 

[mercedes69]

LOVING THIS THREAD !

I'd like to add that other women are very often the ones that make other women feel bad about their weight and not men as is often portrayed. When people are jealous or angry, they'll attack the one thing that you hate about yourself...........and for me, that's my weight.

Confession time: I tried my hardest to not appear on GMTV recently, simply because of my weight. I'm dreading working at Excel because I imagine that geeks will be shocked when they see me and think 'Bloody hell! I didn't realise that she was that fat'.

Having said all that, I don't think that because someone is slim that it makes them better than me and God knows, there's enough ugly skinny women around. I never feel inferior to anyone and don't really care about how slim they are, I just feel embarrassed about my weight.

But hey! Before I book myself into The Priory, all that aside, I'm a very tough, ballsy lady and it's something that I have to deal with and I don't blame anything or anyone else. xxx

well I thought you looked bloomin fantastic...!!!!

 

[sian1979]

Confession time: I tried my hardest to not appear on GMTV recently, simply because of my weight. I'm dreading working at Excel because I imagine that geeks will be shocked when they see me and think 'Bloody hell! I didn't realise that she was that fat'.

Having said all that, I don't think that because someone is slim that it makes them better than me and God knows, there's enough ugly skinny women around.

That is exactly how i feel!!!!!!!
I am on a diet at the moment and so far so good. It is a well known diet which i think is the best one for me as you do not starve on it and do not have to take any pill etc etc. It is about eating the right foods in the right balance.
I do agree that many do go too far with diets and when my size 6-8 friend tells me she is going on a diet i get very angry with her. I am a size 18/20 and i would love to be a size 14 and be able to buy clothes in shops that dont only cater for plus size women....which is my only aim/target.
My children are always dressed in nice clothes and look smart....so to take the focus of passer bys.....but also i think I cant make myself look nice so i will dress them up....thats prob partly why i started in the beauty trade TBH
I do not have any photos of me with my children because of my size which i find very sad and that is why i am trying to do something about it:cry:......so like some have siad i agree there are two sides to the arguement.

Great thread btw!!!!

 

[Trinity]

I think that anyone who says 'I'm a size 14 and I don't care' probably has no idea how it feels to be a size 24/26/28 or bigger - some girls would kill to be a size 16!

not aimed at anyone, and I am not generalising, just making a point

I throughly agree with Sodabubble

Former size 26, now size 14 thanks to the Cambridge Diet.

 

[*Garfield*]

I throughly agree with Sodabubble

Former size 26, now size 14 thanks to the Cambridge Diet.

Wow, thats some acheivement...well done you!:hug:

 

[Zingara]

My mum has been going to Slimming World for 2.5 years....she's nearly 70. She started off at size 24, nearly 20 stone, she coudn't even walk as she has crippling arthritis and her legs couldn't take the weight, she had a life expectancy of only another 3-5 years maximum, and she was completely agoraphobic, as she felt so self conscious about her weight.

2.5 years later, she has dropped over 6 stone.....at a pound or 2 a week, some weeks not even losing anything, but not putting weight on. She looks a lot better, at between a size 18 and 16, but still wants to drop a few more poinds (she's only very short, so is still classed as obese), but 3 weeks ago she went to the gym for the first time....on her own, and thoroughly enjoyed it. She looks after my 11 month old daughter one day a week and thinks nothing of chasing her around the floor - crawling and laughing...something she couldn't have done 12 months ago even. And she smiles - a lot more than she used!

And most importantly...the doctors say I probably have at least another 10 years of life with her. It would break my heart to see anyone lose their life to weight issues, but more so my mum.

I know this thread wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but I do think this is a subject you just can't generalise on....I'm incredibly proud of my mum, I think she was 100% correct to do what she did. She's not resorted to drastic action, she's gone to a weight loss class, one that is reccommended now by most health professionals as it promotes a balanced diet.

So, I applaud anyone who gets out there and does something about their weight problem, if they have a real one....I admit, I haven't got a lot of sympathy for those that have 'been on a diet' for 20 years and yet are 3 stone heavier than when they started. My mum proves that it can be done sensibly and just requires dedication.

Simple fact, if you wanna lose weight, you ain't gonna do it by stuffing your face with cream cakes and then dropping a tablet! But sometimes people need to do more than just feel a bit better about themselves and stand proud at whatever size they are!

 

[Zingara]

Former size 26, now size 14 thanks to the Cambridge Diet.

And from the pics I've seen - you're looking great Trin. Well done!