Friends hey?!

[lila22]

Don't take it personal, sounds like she has problems of her own.
You enjoy your birthday xx

 

[ChicaHolly]

I was wondering the same thing as coco, that maybe she's pregnant again but really early on, so doesn't want to mention it yet?


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[amys-beauty]

No I really don't think it's that! She's off to uni in September and on the implant (I know it could happen!) I just think her priorities have changed n drinking just isn't one of them! I was chatting to my dads friend last night n she said you have friends for specific occasions n bars n going out isn't for this one! She's right really! Looking forward to the double date now

 

[amys-beauty]

Hi guys! Really sorry to bring my problems back up but I've just had a text from her saying she can't do tomorrow now, after I text her the menu last night and we agreed it was all good just needed a time! I'm in tears that I'm being treated like this and I just don't know why!!!! Do I text back?! What do I say?

 

[Mobile Manicure]

Hi guys! Really sorry to bring my problems back up but I've just had a text from her saying she can't do tomorrow now, after I text her the menu last night and we agreed it was all good just needed a time! I'm in tears that I'm being treated like this and I just don't know why!!!! Do I text back?! What do I say?

Did she say why? She must have given you a reason!

 

[amys-beauty]

Nothing... I messaged her this morning saying let me know what time to book the table, she read it straight away but didn't reply, and I was like here we go again gotta chase this up! My mum said she saw this coming?! I didn't?! I changed the plans this week to suit her better and make everyone happy...

 

[amys-beauty]

I haven't text back but she's text again saying she would meet me and my bf after our meal for a quick drink... Ok not too bad but I feel it's another thing to let me down or me have to chase her up. Uhhh?!

 

[Mobile Manicure]

Can you tell us what her text said? I don't think we're getting the full story here. I like to read into people's behaviour but can't unless I know all the facts. Then we can advise you.

Anyway, regardless of her coming or not, why don't you and your OH just go out and have a really good time. Don't let other people's actions ruin your birthday celebrations. :hug::hug:

Edit: I answered too slowly!
Just meet her for a drink after then. Maybe money is the issue.

 

[Nails<3]

Clearly she has other interests and doesn't want to go out with you. Sorry to sound harsh but that's the way it sounds.
Life is too short to run around after so called friends. Keep to your original plans and go out. Have fun and don't worry about this other friend. She sounds like she is being an ass. If it was me I would sack her off and enjoy my birthday.

Xx

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[amys-beauty]

My plans are tapas and sangria with the mister then to a bar were my dad is playing in the samba band! I will damn well enjoy it. But I still can't help but feel very sad I've lost someone who I thought was a good friend! Or do I still go for the drink that tbh I feel I'll be messed around with... Again!!

 

[virtues2011]

I wouldn't get so hung up on it and I also wouldn't build my hopes on seeing her after your meal. Their may be reasons as to why she is behaving like this towards you and you may never know why. Personally I would send a text back saying ' Ok Thanks for letting me know, catch up soon, let me know when you're free for a coffee, hope you are ok.) and leave it like that. I hate friends that continually go on at me 'what's wrong with you? Are you ok?' 'Is everything alright? 'It pushes me away from them very quickly. . (Probably why I have few friends left. .lol). Build a small selection of friends that like different things then you have a choice. ... Some of my very close friends now have very young children, my daughter is 18. I have no interest in taking about children. . Unless they have done something very naughty - then I'm all ears and even the occasional smile will be seen! . .... I may see them once a year if that. We all move on.

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[Mobile Manicure]

I'd just text and say they you'll be at such and such bar from around (insert time) if you want to catch us there. And I'd leave it at that and never text her again. Leave it to her. If she wants to remain friends she will make an effort. The ball's in her court then.

 

[amys-beauty]

Okay thanks I'll text her saying where we will be and leave at that but won't pin my hopes on her turning up! You are right I think I'll never know why she's been like this with me and just move on from it! I have a few very close friends and she was my closest for 10 years so I guess this is why I'm getting upset as I valued our friendship more! Anyway (Christ!) I'll zip it and enjoy my night tomorrow thanks again you lovely ladies!!

 

[virtues2011]

You will be fine. Have a fantastic birthday and do try not to get upset about it. .. as hard as it is. X

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[candy cupcake]

Aw Amy, I think you have done the right thing in just letting her know where you will be. I'm 28 and have a 2 year old, but a lot of the time it's the other way round for me with my friends, I try very hard to maintain my interests from before my little girl was born (obviously it's a balancing act) but often find myself let down by two particular friends, both of whom are supposed to be very close. I just let it slide every time it happens, and am grateful for my hubby who always has time for me, and my one friend who is there for me 9/10 (she doesn't like evening out). I can live with that, as my hubs is there 100% =]

Have a fabulous birthday, your plans sound great!

 

[happyfeet]

Personally I wouldn't bother to even tell her where you are going to be. I wouldn't want to get my hopes up and if she doesn't turn up be disappointed and it ruin my night.

I could be money related, but I don't know why she can't just say that, if that's what it is.

You've met her half way lovey and for whatever reason she's cancelled.

Some people enjoy the attention. If they can't be bothered to let you know what's wrong, what more can you do honey. Let this be her problem, not yours.

Yes maybe there's lots going on with her but a good friend would simply say, so sorry lots going on at the moment, but go and have fab evening.

Any who enjoy your evening it sounds as if you will. Xxxx





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[gillian w]

Do the men know eachother and have anything in common if I arranged a double date for my husband and he had never met that person he wouldn't be happy.Some men are fine and easily mix but others hate this kind of thing.Things do change when you have kids,she may not have got her figure back and you may still be young and perky and she may feel like a right old frump.

 

[gillian w]

Thing is when you have kids you will probably bond again with that common interest.They are like vampires,baby's and young kids they can suck the life out of you :biggrin:.

 

[Julie-Liz]

Sorry if this has been asked but how old is your friends child? Could she have a bit of postnatal depression? Common signs include pushing friends away, listlessness, not wanting to do things she may enjoy etc. Perhaps u could pop around to hers one evening (and if she has a partner to help with lil'un) take a bottle of wine or chocolate n munch and have a really good talk. Make letting her know u r there for her your main agenda whilst finding out whats up. Having children changes our outlook completely, sometimes it can get on top of us and other times it can lead us away from friendships. Does she have a good support network if she is doing it on her own?
It is frustrating that she seems flakey and maybe u guys are growing apart but try n figure out if theres a problem with her personally before assuming there is a problem with the friendship. Hang in there on the birthday plans it could turn out to be what u both just need to bond a bit and to perk her up. Good luck x

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[princessamie]

Just wanna throw this out there...
Could her OH be anything to do with this?
Is he of a controlling nature?

I just asking because she may feel under pressure from him and then she's got the kids and you to keep happy too?! That may be why she's been offish.
He may have changed his mind about the tapas which has made her change her mind too and she might not be able to go alone so has to stick with him?!

I may well be entirely wrong but, it may explain a few things?!