Ideas on how to discipline a 16 month old?

[Spa Therapist]

Hi everyone, as the titles suggests I'm having trouble disciplining my 16 month old so I'm asking for suggestions and advice if you'd be so kind!

The trouble is she doesn't really understand what I'm saying so if I tell her off she just looks at me and then does it again. For example, she's just tipped a big beaker full of milk all over the sofa. I said NO in a stern voice, took the beaker away and went to get a wet tea towel. She then stood with me happily cleaning it up, thinking it was all a game.

When I need to wash up, within 10 seconds she's emptied the kitchen cupboards. When I try to eat my breakfast she steals my food then drops a tennis ball in my coffee cup (funny the first time!) When I'm on the loo she unravels the loo roll and runs away with it :lol: When I sweep the kitchen, she stands in the pile and kicks the dirt all over the floor. When I use the laptop, she presses the OFF button (and she KNOWS this is not allowed!)

I know she's pushing boundaries and that's normal for her age, but I don't know how to show her the difference between what's naughty and what's a game, as she doesn't seem to understand what I say?!

 

[hazeleyes]

Omg this sounds exactly like my son- all the same things! He does the turning the laptop off thing, the walking in the rubbish after I've carefully swept, the stealing of food as well! he goes in the cupboards and pulls out plates. He also disappears upstairs when I'm not looking for a second as my big son broke my downstairs baby gate by swinging on it, if he does get in the bathroom then the loo roll is all over the house or various items go down the toilet! Lately he's taken to switching in the washing machine and twice he has set fire to things on the cooker too by turning the hobs on!!!
This is just what they do...

I do shout "no" a lot and I do use the naughty step which works a bit occasionally, I tap him on the hand but it has little effect to be honest as the next day he does it again and still thinks it's a game!
Kids!!!!

 

[Spa Therapist]

Omg this sounds exactly like my 19 month old- all the same things !! He does the turning the laptop off thing, the walking in the rubbish after I've carefully swept, the stealing of food as well! he goes in the cupboards and pulls out plates. He also disappears upstairs when I'm not looking for a second as my big son broke my downstairs baby gate by swinging on it, if he does get in the bathroom then the loo roll is all over the house or various items go down the toilet! Lately he's taken to switching in the washing machine and twice he has set fire to things on the cooker too by turning the hobs on!!!
This is just what they do...

I do shout "no" a lot and I do use the naughty step which works a bit he knows he's in trouble if he's there! occasionally, I tap him on the hand or bum, but it has little effect to be honest as the next day he does it again and still thinks it's a game!
Kids!!!!

I feel your pain! It's so frustrating isn't it? She's emptying all the DVDs from the bookshelf at the moment and peeling the fronts off the boxes. Give me strength!! She hasn't set fire to anything yet (thank god!) but she keeps switching the washing machine off all the time and she likes to throw things in the bath while I'm stood running it. This morning a whole box of tampons went in the bath - lovely! x

 

[laurenosaurus]

Omg I think every mother has been there!... It's sooo frustrating as they just don't get it!

The one thing that work with my little boy around that age was moving him away as in, out of the room ( a bit like the naughty step but not as inforced) each time he did something he knew was wrong. I'd usually give him a warning but actually moving him away from me/the situation seemed to enforce the message that I didn't like his behaviour

 

[hazeleyes]

I feel your pain! It's so frustrating isn't it? She's emptying all the DVDs from the bookshelf at the moment and peeling the fronts off the boxes. Give me strength!! She hasn't set fire to anything yet (thank god!) but she keeps switching the washing machine off all the time and she likes to throw things in the bath while I'm stood running it. This morning a whole box of tampons went in the bath - lovely! x

Yep I've had the tampons thing but they were down the toilet!! I'm dreading the day I see my phone down there I fear that's the next thing though loooool! The other thing he does is hides from me!!! So i have to search the room calling for him!!

Eventually they do get over being mischievous

 

[Sasha99]

I find this works best for me,lol

 

[xnailsbylisax]

I think 16 month is a little young to understand anything else other than what you're already doing. Keep on doing it & as she gets older she will learn x

 

[Spa Therapist]

Thanks for the support ladies! I'd considered doing the naughty step trick but I thought it might be a bit cruel as she won't really understand why Mummy is locking her out of the living room :Scared: so moving her away sounds a lot kinder and more effective.

At least it's not just me who yells NO a lot, I was starting to worry! I don't want the word to lose its meaning by overusing it, but I can't sit and watch her do things without saying anything!

The crate looks tempting :twisted:

 

[xnailsbylisax]

When she gets to nearly 5 the crate won't look as tempting as a wooden shed in garden with a lock on haha x

 

[Spa Therapist]

When she gets to nearly 5 the crate won't look as tempting as a wooden shed in garden with a lock on haha x

Or BOARDING SCHOOL :wink2:

Just kidding :Love:

 

[steph31]

Just keep up with the "no" and "thats naughty!" Eventually it will sink in x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[Spa Therapist]

Just keep up with the "no" and "thats naughty!" Eventually it will sink in x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek mobile app

I think that may be the only thing I can do! She's nodded off now, she looks like butter wouldn't melt

You do get a medal for this don't you??

 

[Jhdhairdressing]

My little boy has a thing for buttons, his constantly switching the tv on/off along with the wii the blu ray player, DVD player and the DVD player and tv in the play room, drives me insane! His new one is opening the cupboard and getting the grapefruit and sweet potatoes out and having a munch on them lol, sometimes he listens when I tell him no other times he just looks at me then carries on x

 

[hazeleyes]

Thanks for the support ladies! I'd considered doing the naughty step trick but I thought it might be a bit cruel as she won't really understand why Mummy is locking her out of the living room :Scared: so moving her away sounds a lot kinder and more effective.

At least it's not just me who yells NO a lot, I was starting to worry! I don't want the word to lose its meaning by overusing it, but I can't sit and watch her do things without saying anything!

The crate looks tempting :twisted:

Ha it's instinctive!!! "No don't set fire to mummy's oven gloves" "no turn off the washing machine' etc
My stairs are in the same room!!!! So he tip toes off it every so often, sometimes lately I've noticed he will just sit there for the minute though which is lovely.

 

[weezie]

This is a differnt approach, you may or may not be interested in. I have always offered an explanation instead of "No" and assumed positive intent, so not repremanded but been there to guide my son. You are right she's way too young to understand - we don't have impulse control before about 6!!! At that age I tried to look for the likely results before they happened and saw it as my error for not being more vigilant not my sons eg use covered cups. Like you say she's just exploring and has no concept that you think your things in your house are important. I found it helped to tell my son what he could do rather than what he couldn't so rather than say "don't throw your drink" I would say "lets put your drink on the table and clear up the mess. I can see you want to throw something lets throw a ball." It also helps not to think of things in terms of good and bad behaviour, it's all exploration and if you can keep a close connection with your daughter even in testing times when she knows better she will do better because she wants to please you as you are her ally not because you have punished her (naughty step etc). By the time she is 2.5 she will just be starting to understand how most things work and you will be surprised at how little you need to intervien anymore.

 

[Spa Therapist]

Ha it's instinctive!!!
My stairs are in the same room!!!! So he tip toes off it every so often, sometimes lately I've noticed he will just sit there for the minute though which is lovely.

Ahh bless him! I think they do want to please deep down but the urge to explore (and destroy everything) overcomes them! Either that or the devil.

Yes my little girl loves buttons too, she switches everything on and off and she's now worked out how to operate the TV by the buttons on the side because I took the remote off her. They are so sneaky!

 

[Lilypie]

This is a differnt approach, you may or may not be interested in. I have always offered an explanation instead of "No" and assumed positive intent, so not repremanded but been there to guide my son. You are right she's way too young to understand - we don't have impulse control before about 6!!! At that age I tried to look for the likely results before they happened and saw it as my error for not being more vigilant not my sons eg use covered cups. Like you say she's just exploring and has no concept that you think your things in your house are important. I found it helped to tell my son what he could do rather than what he couldn't so rather than say "don't throw your drink" I would say "lets put your drink on the table and clear up the mess. I can see you want to throw something lets throw a ball." It also helps not to think of things in terms of good and bad behaviour, it's all exploration and if you can keep a close connection with your daughter even in testing times when she knows better she will do better because she wants to please you as you are her ally not because you have punished her (naughty step etc). By the time she is 2.5 she will just be starting to understand how most things work and you will be surprised at how little you need to intervien anymore.

100% agree with this. I don't think it's being naughty, just testing boundaries and exploring. I do believe that children understand far more than we think they do, so she probably does understand the word no, but doesn't understand the importance of it if that makes sense as they don't see dangers etc.

Just as an example with the loo roll thing, why not have a loo roll that you explain is for her so when she follows you to the loo, give it to her and you still have one. Pushing buttons: show her which buttons to press and allow her to do it, let her pour her own cereal. Yes it may make a mess but you'd be in control rather than trying to second guess what she's going to do.

Oh and naughty step I personally found didnt work. Even now at nearly 5, my daughter wont stay!

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[weezie]

Yeah and then at 16 or sooner they'll turn round and want to put you on the 'naughty step'. It just builds resentment. If I had never heard of it I couldn't have dreamt it up myself but appreciate I'm in the minority Call me nuts but you have a choice you can say "no" then sit them on the naughty step kicking and screaming to punish them, dragging it out for even longer, or to calmly but firmly offer a simple explanation and move on with no bad feelings.

 

[Spa Therapist]

I think they are great ideas and make a lot of sense. I try to distract her away from certain behaviours but I have to admit I don't always make it as constructive or as positive as I could. I'm getting better with letting her explore, I used to try to control the mess but now she tries to feed herself and then I intervene when she's had enough of struggling! We have a spoon each at meal times and when I sweep she has the little brush so she can sweep too, but I hadn't thought of giving her a loo roll to play with! x

 

[weezie]

I have read a great book by Naomi Aldort called "Raising our children, raising ourselves" and she has some great examples in it. One was to say "yes" before you reacted to something. So for example "yes, I can see you want to pour water, let's do it in the bath". It really helps to keep yourself level headed in a situation that could trigger an angry response to something your child does, that in the greater scheme of things is not that bad, but really wound you up in the moment!!!! It also gives you a chance to breath and think of an industrious solution. It makes you feel so happy too as telling someone off all the time is so negative and just brings more mystery into the world. After a while it comes naturally and you won't believe that you didn't know that you could be so free.


We all want our kids to be independent but the mess they can create on the way can be difficult.