Lung Cancer,what would you do?

[gr8nailz]

There are actually gates designed to block access to stairs. My sister-in-law had to install one to keep her grandmother from accessing the stairs when she was at work after her grandmother took a nasty fall one day. Hope this helps.

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[Joanna W]

So sorry to hear about your Dad, all advice has been great, about the sleeping, if that's where he is comfy then let him sleep there, I volunteer at a hospice and many of the clients have they feel more comfortable sleeping in an armchair ((hugs)) to you

 

[An*Gel]

I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news... my Dad died of Lung Cancer on the 10th of June two years ago and I know exactly how you feel! :hug:

The Doctors sat him and my Mam down and basically he was told there was nothing more they could do for him... he came out of the room.. looked at my Mam and said "that's great news isn't it"?

My Mam was thinking "did he not just hear what I heard"?

Thing was, he was too scared to hear the truth, so we all decided to let him believe he was going to be OK.

It was never a secret as far as the Doctors were concerned as they had been very upfront with him, but one day a Nurse said something to him about going to the Hospice in Harrolds Cross and he said "sure why would I be going there?... that's where people go to die"

The penny dropped right then and he died weeks later... I honestly believe his hope kept him alive and well... he went downhill so fast after that... I'll always remember speaking to him on the phone that day and I said "Dad... did you really not know"?

He said, "Karen ...I hadn't a F(ing) clue"

Your Dad might not be ready to hear about his prognosis ... if it were me I wouldn't like to know either.

:hug:

 

[tonicj]

So sorry to hear about your Dad, all advice has been great, about the sleeping, if that's where he is comfy then let him sleep there, I volunteer at a hospice and many of the clients have they feel more comfortable sleeping in an armchair ((hugs)) to you

Totally agree with Joanna. It sounds like a difficult situation but its totally up to your dad. He must be as comfortable as possible wherever HE chooses to be. We are all comfortable in our own special place. If it were me I wouldnt want to be moved to a room that was different to me. I would want to be where was most familiar to me.

I will pray tonight for you Smooth and your dad :hug: xx

 

[J.Victoria]

Just wanted to add, that we only moved the bed when really it was no longer practical or safe for him to climb any stairs as he had had such a bad fall and had 2 black eyes and was so unsteady on his feet, but like mentioned above he would often fall asleep on the sofa and he seemed comfortable so we let him stay where he wanted, it was only as his health deteriorated that we put the bed up.

 

[smooth]

I agree with everything so far, not pushing them until they're ready to accept it. We all just want a bed downstairs so that if one day he looks at his steep stairs in his victorian house and goes "bugger that, it's like Everest" he has something downstairs already prepped.

The nurse came out today and said she thinks he should have a bed downstairs ready for when he can't get up then. The chair he uses has springs virtually popping out so it can't be that comfy . He has agreed to a walking stick but called it a cane instead.

Karen, everything you are describing is very typical to us, I do feel that the first few days he was feeling that ropey and literally was going downhill everyday. But when it was told to him again that he had cancer he got a fighting spirit back, I kept wondering how he was remembering as we expected him to go in and just blame his condition on a chest infection.

I found out how today, he had a pad of paper on his coffee table and he had written on it in capital letters LUNG CANCER. What a clever thing to do I thought! He must have asked the district nurse 6 times in half an hour if he could get treatment, we don't know whether to move the pad or leave it where it is. xx:hug:

 

[british.jem]

I have no idea what to say to make things any easier. Other then im truely sorry that this is happening to you and your family. :hug: All the previous advice is wonderful!

 

[wonderwoman]

:hug: sorry to hear about your dad, Its not pleasant to think the worst, its our parents, we think they live forever. Im gona tell you to do something that doesnt dwell on whats goin on, try having some activities that include your dad, and what his always wanted to do, so you can try fufilling yourself to make him feel better in other ways iygwim. Be strong missy xoxo

 

[mini4mum]

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you & your family. x

 

[smooth]

Continuous thanks to everyone who has posted and sent me private messages, they really are appreciated and helpful. Dad was mentioning a few days ago about a boat ride from Liverpool to Manchester, don't know whether there is one but will check it out. Need to make sure he doesn't have to climb or walk far too. xx

 

[kattyj]

My best friends dad has recently found out he has a brain tumor, he has had it removed but unfortunately its the worst type and it is terminal, the family decided not to tell him it was terminal and he is believing that the treatment is going to make him better, I wasnt sure this was for the best when she told me but after talking to other people who have been through similar they all said they never told their loved ones and they all felt this was the best for them - my heart goes out to you and your family x