My husband doesnt know if he loves me any more

[Lady H]

:cry: i just feel in total shock, its come right out of the blue and right now Im in limbo,he says he doesnt know how he feels, wether he wants to be with me or not. He dropped the bombshell on me a couple of days ago and Ive just felt sick ever since. we've been married almost 5 years and i cant believe it might be over. I feel so wretched:cry:

 

[becki x]

Aw Helen,i can't imagine how shocked you must be for it to come out of the blue with no warning signs.

I don't really know what to say other than i hope he comes to his senses big :hug:'s to you chick xxx

 

[HappyHands]

I.m lost for words to hun.. we are here if you need us:hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[Lady H]

thanks. I feel numb really. and ill. He is out with work tonight as well so Im just gonna be sitting in on my own stewing on things. I am sorry for starting a thread instead if putting it in my journal guys I just needed some support x

 

[bombini]

Aww chic im sorry to hear this :hug: :hug: :hug: can't think of anything to say other than i hope you sort it out :hug:

 

[big miss nails]

oooh babe my mate went through the same thing the begening of the year out of the blue her husband said the same within 2 weeks he was back living at his mums and she was alone with 3 kids..if you ever need to talk babe im here xx :hug:

 

[becki x]

Sweetie the worst thing is to be on your own ,especially if you know your self well enough to know you'll sit with it all running through your head worrying yourself sick,is there anyone who can sit with you for a chat ?

:hug:

 

[Lady H]

not really. Ive been to my mams all day but my dad works nights and she has to look after my nanna tonight. My best mates nanna has just died as well so I dont think it would be appropriate to bother her, and my other best mate is away.

 

[bubbabinks]

I dont really know what to say, but I do send big hugs.
Have you talked about it yet or is he saying he needs a bit of space to sort himeself out?

I feel for you hun, but we're all here for you.

 

[Lady H]

we had a massive talk the other night. I was really proud of myself for not flying off the handle, I was really calm, asked him what things he wants out of life that he doesnt already have, and what things make him doubt his feelings for me, what makes him consider staying. Every question I ask, he says "i dont know"

 

[becki x]

Helen hun,if there is no one you can chat with,try not to work yourself up wondering,asking what if's.

I know you say you were calm,good for you,but if i were you i would explain that as he has sprung this on you,wether he loves you or not,you have been married for five years and the very least you deserve is some answers,that's the least he can do imo :hug:

 

[bubbabinks]

It's difficult because you dont want to apply to much pressure on him for answers but at the same time you're left in La La land not knowing where your marriage is heading until he decides.

Have you asked him if he'd be willing to go to a relationship councillor?
Maybe an outsider might be able to help.

I would give your mate a call though it might be a welcome distraction for her and it will definetly be good for you to talk to a mate.

Thinking of you

 

[Lady H]

i know i agree. i asked him last night for a further explanation - he just said he hasnt made any decisions yet and cant explain. he said give it a few days, we will talk on sunday. Im just in total shock, never saw this coming

 

[HappyHands]

i know i agree. i asked him last night for a further explanation - he just said he hasnt made any decisions yet and cant explain. he said give it a few days, we will talk on sunday. Im just in total shock, never saw this coming

why sunday???? why not now or tomorrow how can he put you though this babe.. you deserve an answer not a waiting game..

 

[becki x]

Helen,i really don't know what else to say love,but i am only a pm away,i may not be much help but i'm a great listener ( or reader in this case ) take care babes :hug:

 

[Lady H]

his reasons for sunday are that he is out tonight, tomorrow Im at work till 8pm and he will have picked his daughter up for the weekend by the time Im home, she will be there till sunday, and he doesnt want to discuss it where she is.

 

[HappyHands]

his reasons for sunday are that he is out tonight, tomorrow Im at work till 8pm and he will have picked his daughter up for the weekend by the time Im home, she will be there till sunday, and he doesnt want to discuss it where she is.

sorry to keep on.. but surly his daughter will know something is going on.. the atmosfee will be really tense.. :hug::hug::hug: i really hope that you get it sorted babe.. again i am only a pm away.. so pm if you need anything

 

[Lady H]

sorry to keep on.. but surly his daughter will know something is going on.. the atmosfee will be really tense.. :hug::hug::hug: i really hope that you get it sorted babe.. again i am only a pm away.. so pm if you need anything

well ive said that too but he just says he doesnt have the answers yet so there is not any point talking about it any more until he does. I dont know what else to do

 

[Chris2807]

Hi Helen

I'm sorry to hear your news, I hope that he gives you somekind of explanations. Maybe you should suggest to talk away from the house, maybe a nice meal out or drink in a place that you are both unfamiliar with.

I hope you are ok but if you need anything you can PM me, if I can help you I will. :hug: xxx

 

[Tsia]

I so know how you feel.. when you ask why? the reasons etc and all you get is a "I dont know!"

I was in the same boat and after a row about it and wanting to know where I stood etc, he clammed up completely.
We talked it through and later when we had both calmed down, and I wrote out my feelings on paper so it didnt turn into a shouting match..
he said the reason why he used the reply "I dont know" was because he was scared I would flip at him.

After both agreeing we had communication problems we said that in future if somethings bothering the other, to say.


I agree that its not fair being kept in limbo, cos it eats away at you.

If 1 partner is unhappy, they are both unhappy.

Hope you work it out hun.XXXXXX:hug: :hug: :hug: