should i really be sulking???

[beautybaby_22]

Well Ladies, me and my finace of four years have been thinking about getting married. Getting married is a big deal to me as i said i would never get married. So, we were talking about it and then my partner says " i dont want a wedding ring" and it has really annoyed me, i mean whats the point in getting married and spending 4k+ on a wedding????? if he feels like that then i feel as though whats the point, why not use the 4k on a depsoit for a house???i told him this and he went nuts and said "well, if it means that much to you then ill have a ring" but i dont want him to just have the ring because i want him, he has totally missed the point!!help girls i need some oppinions/advice as i really dont know what to do.
clare xx

 

[persianista]

You hormonal? Really, a ring is not important, a wedding do is not important.

The commitment you are both making to create a life together is all that is important.

Bit of perspective required possibly?

 

[WaxGirl]

Maybe you need to ask yourself why is the ring so important to you?

Many men around here dont wear a wedding ring, some for practical reasons others cause they dont like wearing rings.

Maybe, this just a guess, you really are afraid of getting married for some reason and this is like a way of stalling it, perhaps if it wasnt the ring it would be something else?

If you love each other and want to make the committment of marriage then these things shouldnt matter?

And sure if you not sure about it, then thats okay to feel like that, just put it off to a time you are both ready

 

[FreyaBeauty]

Will a wedding change your life? NO will a lovely little two up two down change your life? YES

Easy!

My partner can't wear any rings jewellery etc as he has a phobia...(something that happened when he was a child)! Anyway! We arnt engaged, or getting married and even if we did he still wouldn't wear a ring and I accept that!
We have a lovely house and 19 month old daughter and to us getting married isn't very important! The only reason id like to Marry him one day is to have the same name as my daughter!

Maybe ask yourself the reasons for getting married and the reason the ring is so important to you! I know a man wearing a ring shows he is taken but do you think that stops other chicks? No!! As long as there is love, respect and trust then I wouldn't worry about the ring thing ; )

Xx

 

[Miss Pink23]

Actually I agree with you.
Put aside all the points that have been made here, from what you have said a wedding is what you want and it has taken you a while to come upon that decision.
A wedding ring (as long as there is no reason why he cant physicaaly wear one like stated above) is a SYMBOL of your commitment-a ring signifies a circle of love, trust and commitment its not about showing the world of women that you are out of bounds as you have a wife.
I want to get married one day and if my other half declined to wear a ring I would be unhappy also.
He said he will wear one if it makes you happy, this sounds like the kind of thing my other half would say. Sometimes its best to go with that-at least he has agreed and he will eventually see the reason behind it-most likely on the day.
Dont despair honey.
x

 

[B-Beauty]

Actually I agree with you.
Put aside all the points that have been made here, from what you have said a wedding is what you want and it has taken you a while to come upon that decision.
A wedding ring (as long as there is no reason why he cant physicaaly wear one like stated above) is a SYMBOL of your commitment-a ring signifies a circle of love, trust and commitment its not about showing the world of women that you are out of bounds as you have a wife.
I want to get married one day and if my other half declined to wear a ring I would be unhappy also.
He said he will wear one if it makes you happy, this sounds like the kind of thing my other half would say. Sometimes its best to go with that-at least he has agreed and he will eventually see the reason behind it-most likely on the day.
Dont despair honey.
x

I agree with all of the above x

 

[Katmoz33]

Tell him you don't want to wear one either see what he says

 

[cheznails]

Tell him you don't want to wear one either see what he says

Lol I agree with that x

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[jacquelineanna]

Tell him you don't want to wear one either see what he says

That was my first thought but Katmoz got there first lol!!!

Jacqui xx

 

[Simba44]

Wonder what Kate Middleton thought when William said he didn't want a wedding ring, as long a you love each other and make you promise to each other then gold don't matter, I got divorced 5 years sold the rings on eBay

 

[Penners]

Is it 'being married' thats important or 'the wedding' ? My husband hasn't got a ring - he hates the feeling and does a manual job so it would get in the way/get damaged.
We got married 15 years ago in Gretna - didn't tell anyone simply because it was a decision about 'us' and the fact that we wanted to be together and commited for the rest of our lives. shelling out 4k +++ seems wrong to me if that money would help you set up a home together and improve the rest of your life. There is so much pressure on marriage as it is without adding extra. If you feel that hes less commited than you just because of a ring then i'd think again about marriage. The symbolism of rings,cakes,bridesmaids etc etc is great and makes a lovely day out for all your family and is a very public way of declaring your commitment but after the fuss has died down its about the two of you and sticking it out through good times and bad ( there will be plenty of those).

After all that ramble i'd say if you are are both strong and commited thats what matters not a band of metal. don't get caught up in the fairytale!

 

[lucyboo]

My husband very rarely wears his ring as he's a builder & it would get trashed if he wore it to work & even when he goes out not wearing it, it doesn't bother me as I know he's committed to me & we both have 100% trust in each other.

 

[dandelionpoppy]

My husband wears a wedding ring. I don't.
Why don't I? Years ago I nearly lost it a few times as it was a little big, so I took it off.
My mother gave me a real dressing-down and said it was a disgrace.
I believe it to be a tradition, a symbol of love, but NOT a label......and I refuse to be labelled.
I think the idea that you have to have a visible symbol to show you are off limits is insulting and old-fashioned. So my mother saying that has resulted in it staying off!
Well there you are; a middle-aged woman throwing a rebellious fit
(BTW my husband is fine with it; he's used to me by now.....we've been married forever)

 

[jujojones]

neither me nor my husband have never worn our weddings rings!! he doesn't wear it as he cant for work and i just hate wearing rings!!

this has no effect on how much we love each other or our commitment to each other - they are just pieces of gold imo!

 

[Beanhead]

I'm getting married in October and have had the same conversation with my other half.
When he told me he didn't want a ring I did feel quite put out as I just didn't expect it, all the male relatives in my family wear wedding rings so I was a bit like, what the hell.
He has grown up with his dad never wearing one so didn't think it was a big deal, he is also a builder so it'd get trashed.
He plans to wear his ring on a chain around his neck, once I'd got over the shock and realised just how many people don't wear wedding rings I really didn't mind.
Now that the time has come to buy rings things appear to be changing slightly, so you never no, he may to come round a bit too.
As we are on a tight budget we agreed to keep costs down where we could, we've decided on a very basic plain ring for him that doesn't cost a lot and I get the nicer more expensive ring, perfect!
As we are on a budget people have said, "buy cheap ones now you can always get better ones at a later date" the rings mean a lot to me I don't just want to shove any old ring I buy on my finger and say its my wedding ring I want the one I have when we say our vows on my finger forever!

 

[Lovebeauty14]

My husband was given a ring but he never wears it as he's an aircraft engineer in the RN and they aren't allowed to wear them at work. They could end up getting de-gloved (the skin getting pulled off the bone) if it gets caught. Ew. I only wished I never bothered getting one now, waste of money as it just sits in a drawer! Lol. I mean it depends on your feelings of it, but in the grand scale of things, a ring isn't that important. If he loves you he's be with you forever regardless. And you can use the money to get something like a new freezer! Lol, I wish I did!

 

[cheznails]

I'm getting married in October and have had the same conversation with my other half.
When he told me he didn't want a ring I did feel quite put out as I just didn't expect it, all the male relatives in my family wear wedding rings so I was a bit like, what the hell.
He has grown up with his dad never wearing one so didn't think it was a big deal, he is also a builder so it'd get trashed.
He plans to wear his ring on a chain around his neck, once I'd got over the shock and realised just how many people don't wear wedding rings I really didn't mind.
Now that the time has come to buy rings things appear to be changing slightly, so you never no, he may to come round a bit too.
As we are on a tight budget we agreed to keep costs down where we could, we've decided on a very basic plain ring for him that doesn't cost a lot and I get the nicer more expensive ring, perfect!
As we are on a budget people have said, "buy cheap ones now you can always get better ones at a later date" the rings mean a lot to me I don't just want to shove any old ring I buy on my finger and say its my wedding ring I want the one I have when we say our vows on my finger forever!

Hi hun my mom and dad have been married 25 years in Jan and when they first got married they didn't have a lot of money and only got what they could afford and then after 15 years they had a blessing with new more expensive rings plus my dads first ring got trashed from being in the army. So you could always do that lol x

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[Beanhead]

Golly, your mum and dad are brave, I do like the idea of eloping for a blessing but couldn't cope with planning a big do again. It's the only way I'd feel comfortable having a different wedding ring though. Xx

 

[cheznails]

Doesn't have to be anything big just a small church blessing then a big party lol it was lovely I was 15 and got to be maid of honour and we arrived on a horse drawn carriage mom even got a new engagement ring too x

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[Lunarstorm]

My husband can not wear rings at work for H&S reasons but thought I would share this.

My husband was married before and he did not want a wedding ring and used his work as a reason to not have one. Now he didn't really want to get married to his ex-wife but felt he had to (long story).

When myself and my husband got married, I assumed he would not want a wedding ring as he did not want one when he was married before, however he insisted that I get him a wedding ring as "he wanted to show that he was not avaible and was comitted to only me". He has a silver neck chain, which can be easly broken if it gets caught up and he puts his wedding ring on the chain when at work. He told me this reason he did not want a wedding ring with his ex-wife was because he did not want to be married to her or have a perment display of comittment to her.

He also gets pretty upset if I am not wearing my rings, like when I've taken them off for cleaning and forgot to put them back on. Only times he has been okay with me not having my rings on are when they have needed sizing due to weight loss or gain, or when I have hurt me hand some how.

He once lost his wedding ring, it fell off when he took his motor bike gloves off to have a smoke on his way home. He always pulled over in the same place (country lane) every night on his way home (works 30 miles away) and was really upset about it, at the time he did not know when or where it fell off but luckly he found it a few weeks later by accident when he spotted it in on the floor when he stopped on his way home.