So devastated - positive vibes please

[squidgernetball]

I'm always at a loss to say the right thing.

I have read your posts with great sadness and wanted to tell you how sorry I am to hear about your mum.

My lovely dad died some years ago and I rushed to be with him but I was too late. I drew immense comfort from the fact that people he loved and who loved him were with him when he died.

I'm glad you were with your mum x


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[gillian w]

So sorry Blossom x

 

[attitude]

Blossom, I had commented early in the thread. I didn't want to upset you at the time, but my mother lost her battle September 20, just three weeks after her diagnosis. Thankfully she was home the entire time and I was with her when she passed away in her sleep. Hugs. It sucks.

 

[blossom]

Blossom, I had commented early in the thread. I didn't want to upset you at the time, but my mother lost her battle September 20, just three weeks after her diagnosis. Thankfully she was home the entire time and I was with her when she passed away in her sleep. Hugs. It sucks.

Attitude thats so sad, im sorry to hear that.

I find im going through everything in my mind now, over and over, picking it to pieces. I suppose thats normal and part of the acceptance but its all i can think of.

She wasnt planning on going to the hospice so i feel a bit bad that we couldnt keep on top of the pain at home .... She literally could not move an inch without being in agony, the lady from the hospice said the tumour felt really big and was probsbly blocking bowels etc.

There was also a really big area of abdomen which looked bruised/red, googling i see that could have indicated internal haemoraging.

So i guess thats why she went downhill so quickly, but i keep asking myself what i could have done differently .... Cos up til then she was reasonably comfortable altho extremely weak but we were managing at home up til just before.

Is it usual to dissect it? Thank you for the support xx

 

[Redduck]

Blossom, if you were any relative of mine I would tell you that your compassion, care and kindness have been faultless. I know it is normal to pull things apart and feel some guilt but from the bottom of my heart I can tell you that you are a wonderful human being and I am proud to know you even if it is only through salon geek.

You did everything you could and probably more and whilst this won't help at the moment I really hope it brings you comfort in the coming months when things are slightly less raw.

Love to you xxx

 

[souz]

Blossom, please dont have regrets, ypu did what you felt was right at the time which is always the best. Your mum knew you were tbere for her and knew you loved her...thats the most important thing of all....

Remember the good times and the bad, cherish those memories for they are not lost, celebrate the life she DID lead and how long you had with her, laugh, cry...let it all out, she will be with you through it all in your heart as if she never left. Thinking of u xx

Ps.....ypu have a kind heart to message me about my mum even though you are going this emotional turmoil, huge love and respect to you xxxxxx

 

[Ajay]

Is it usual to dissect it? Thank you for the support xx

In a word, yes. Again. And again.

I still cry remembering the last thing I said to my Granda because I thought I'd see him again.

The care home he was sent to (hospital wouldn't keep him, couldn't get alterations made to the house quick enough) was awful. We had two members of staff fired over incidents including Granda. And he was there for 6 weeks. He hated it but there was nothing we could do but visit every day etc.

Don't punish yourself hun. If it's the best or even the only thing you could have done to help her manage the pain, then you did the right thing. And they aren't in pain now :'(

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[Oasis]

Much love to you and your family and your mum as well as anyone who has been through or is going through this.
Sending you all love, positivity and strength to help you get through this difficult time.
Speaking from experience, take each day as it happens and just go with it. I know it sounds odd but if you try to fight your emotions it makes it worse so just accept them and allow them to flow.
Xxxxxxxx

 

[tonicj]

Blossom, for some moments in life, there are no words. Just know that I am thinking about you at this heart breaking time. Anne xx:hug:

 

[AcidPerm]

Blossom, at least you were there at the end.

My sister and I went home for a brief rest and my mum died in that short time. I have never been able to fully accept that so I'm really glad you were with your mum at the end.

Dissecting stuff is quite normal I think.

Much love. xxxx

 

[beauty_geek86]

Thinking of you blossom x