WHAT IS IT WITH MEN?????? (getting it off my chest)

[pips]

Ive been married 20 yrs on the 17th may and i can count on one hand the cards ive had of hubby, got one every yr for 4 yrs prior to getting married as well then once married, zilch, nada, sod all!
I ask him every yr "wheres my card" but i always get the same reply every time, "waste of money buying cards".
I know hes right as the prices are ridiculous for what you get but to me a card means so much more than flowers, choccies, clothes etc and i always keep the ones i get from family & friends.

That said he always, always buys me a gift (large bouquet of flowes a week ago today for my birthday & a new car)

Tsia, try not to worry about it, sit down and talk, tell him how you feel then let him have his say (dont butt in) when hes finished then discuss until you get to the bottom of all the neg feelings you both have going on right now.

HTH :hug:

 

[Buggy]

i don't think you should focus on this one incident, but rather on your relationship as a whole.

Ask yourself:

Is your relationship (other than this incident) still a good and thoughtful one where you don't take each other for granted. If it still is, then i would just let bygones be bygones and consider this an oversight on his part. You've made your point (next year tell him, not hint, that you want a pressie or you want to go out to celebrate). at the end of the day it's the relationship as a whole that you should be focusing on.

If however, this oversight is a reflection or symptom of your relationship or what it has become, and your relationship has become a bit stale and the cracks are appearing elsewhere, then that is where you need to start focusing.

for instance: a woman at work has been married about 30 years and NEVER had a valentine. when we questioned her, she said it doesn't bother her because her husband treats her well on everyday, so she doesn't really miss out. she said she would rather this, than him treat her like she doesn't exist except of valentines day when he felt the need to treat her.

hope this helps.

 

[ValencianNails]

for instance: a woman at work has been married about 30 years and NEVER had a valentine. when we questioned her, she said it doesn't bother her because her husband treats her well on everyday, so she doesn't really miss out. she said she would rather this, than him treat her like she doesn't exist except of valentines day when he felt the need to treat her.

how true that is.... we've been married 17 years this coming August and been together for nearly 20 years, i can count on 2 hands the number of cards my hubby has bought for me, however it doesn't mean he doesn't love me or has stopped caring.
It doesn't stop me from getting him a card for his birthday, our anniversary, christmas etc, but that's women for you, we do tend to be more sensitive on the 'card giving' front.
Tsia, you asked for our opinions, here's mine... i think you're reading too much into it sweetie, it isn't going to be one long honeymoon period, the cards do dwindle off after a while.
You both need to sit and talk, openly and honestly, you both need to listen to each other aswell as talk, without good communication a relationship won't last and if it does then it won't be a healthy one.
:hug: xx

 

[DEBSY]

Hi there,,,

I am not going to comment on the "card" thing it will be much the same as everyone elses :lol:

I wanted to ask you how your laser treatment went today, i know you may not be on today as you have to wear the dark glasses afterwards, i had mine done 3 years ago and remember how scared and frightening it was but i am also sooooo glad i did it!

Just wondered how you were and sending hugs :hug:

 

[Susie H]

I think he did the guy thing.
Having talked about it a few days before, he forgot anyway and then felt bad when you didn't forget.
Then he did the guy thing again the following day and forgot again and tipical of a guy instead of saying I'm realy sorry hun I completly forgot again, he lashed out at you with the one thing that would make you feel guilty (he thinks) your lack of a job. I dought very much if it bothers him in the slightest its just a way of making you forget to make him say that big scary vunrable word SORRY!
In your shoes, I would move on, espesialy if he is stuben. Wouldn't it be a realy stupid thing to split up over?
Let it all calm down and then in a week or two when he is calm and relaxed and not tierd from work you can tell him how he is going to take you away for a dirty weekend to make up for the card. I bet he not only smiles but he takes you up on it. Its a guy thing and it lets him show you he's sorry with out having to say that nasty word.

 

[Tsia]

Me and hubby had a long chat and all is sorted. Hes had alot on his plate lately, and he has cared for me no end for the last week while I havent been able to see after my laser eye surgery. Of course he loves me, sometimes he just needs to be reminded! (his words) Weve made up. However, he hasnt come up with anything card or pressie wise yet, the time has passed now, and lets just say that it has been 'filed' away for use in the future (like us women do!) :lol:

 

[ladybgemini]

I got a good one for ya all.

I been ill all week with a cold. I have earache and gone deaf in one ear, yet I still worked all week and looked after our 22 month old daughter.

Today I asked my daughter to go and get her daddy to change her nappy as I was feeling really crap and he wouldn't do it.

He acutally came inot me and said "I think it's disgusting she is in here with you yet you tell her to come to me to get her bum change, I'm really disgusted"

Well, after a few choice words I went out before I bobbitted him lol.

Still not talking 4 hours later - MEN!!!!!

 

[Tsia]

Theyre a different race!! different species completely!! But we love 'em for it! :lol:

 

[GlitzyGirl]

You're all going to BOO me now, but I can understand men on this.
Take me for example, I pride myself of always remembering all the important dates, birthdays, anniversaries etc., as most women do. A few weeks ago, my hubby and I were talking about our 19th anniversary a week before the day. On the day, early evening my mum phones me and congratulates us both. My only reply to her was "what's the congratulations for mum?" I (we) had completely forgotten, even though we talked about it a few days before. So, I can now see that it's so easy to forget.
I don't think I'll moan at him, ever again.