Advice Needed (Contains Sensitive Material some people may find this offensive)

[glittergirl]

Hi Geeks,

Need your help, Well a friend of a friend of a friend has asked me to do her nails i said i would check when i was free more than likley i should be free the following day and i would get back to her then she says to me "just a quick question i was born a boy will this effect my nails" well as you can imagine i was speechless shes got better legs than me! lol

anyway on a serious note i feel very uncormfortable with this but how do i say no to her when i already more or less said i was free.

I'm not a biggot or anything like that i just don't feel comfortable with the whole situation i'm sure the last thing she would want is for me rush her nails and she not have the best i can do.

WHAT DO I DO??????????????????????????????????

 

[Glorsclaws]

Hi Jodie,
Once you have got used to the idea maybe you wont find it such a big deal.
I think the only prob I would worry about is if I had tips for bigger fingers but, if she has such great legs maybe her nailbeds are great too.
If you do find you just cannot service this client make sure you tell her something like you had a booking that you forgot and give her the addy of another good tech.
Hth.

 

[AngieLHN]

Hi there, it really would'ent bother me l would find it quite interesting!!! and you'll probally get on fine with her, but if you really can't do it, tell her you did already have something you booked in at the last min and forgot about and your now booked till after christmas that way she won't have her feeling hurt, good luck Angie xx

 

[glittergirl]

Thanks Gloria,

I don't know if it's just that its thrown me never in a million years would i have guessed and maybe if she hadn't of told me i would have done her nails and been none the wiser.

I feel really bad about this i can't stand bullies or Racists or anything like that but now i feel as if i'm just as bad as them!

 

[AngieLHN]

Don't be daft your not like them, it just took you back a bit, if you were a bullie or racist you would have said there and then that you would not do them, but you don't want to hurt this persons feelings so it shows you care don't worry about it you'll be fine she is just a person at the end of the day xx

 

[julie-b]

I think it's perfectly normal to feel taken aback - but if you think rationally about it, what are your reasons for not wanting to do her nails? I don't think trans-gender comes under the list of contra-indications:wink2: But seriously, perhaps this is a good opportunity for you to look at the reasons why you wouldn't want to do this client's nails and maybe challenge some of your own prejudices? I don't for one minute think you're a racist or a bully but at the end of the day we all have prejudices (whether we like to admit it or not!) and it sounds like this is one of yours. But prejudices are often down to us being uncomfortable with a situation or being a bit frightened of the "unknown". Perhaps spending time with this client would help you overcome this? If you really feel you can't do it then make your excuses as politely as you can but be prepared for her asking to make another appointment when you are free. I get the impression from your post that you would actually feel quite bad about not seeing this client - so perhaps just going for it and doing her nails would actually make you feel better in the long run. Something to think about anyway.

Best wishes

 

[Trinity]

Hi Jody

I live in Brighton, where we have the biggest mix of sexual orientation you can imagine - we have the biggest gay community in Europe - and almost everytime you go out you will see either transexuals, trans-gender, cross-dressers and every other concievable combination of the above :green:

I grew up here and to be honest don't notice it, it's only other people who point it out to me that makes me notice - I suppose what I'm trying to say is that they are just people like you and me - most of them have had a pretty tough life coming to terms with their issues.

Most of the gay men I know spend more money on themselves than the women, and are fab clients - they can be picky but it makes you work better!

From a tech point of view - I'm with Glorsclaws and would worry more about tip sizes than anything else :lol:

From a business point of view - she could be your best new client (she'll probably take really good care of her nails)

From a personal point of view - she might be a new friend you just haven't met yet :green:

Take a deep breath, put on a smile and welcome your new client - you'll do fab

T
xx

 

[cuticles]

Hi I agree with Trinity Nails here - you will probably have a fab time and wonder why you worried!

Cathy

 

[Seanny]

An opinion from a non-nail tech? I can see why you might have been thrown initially, but it's like Julie has said, it's just a 'fear of the unknown', and you're no different than any of the rest of us in that respect. I dunno if this is feasible, but what about asking one of your nail tech friends to 'pop in to borrow something' *wink wink* just before the treatment, would that help you settle down a bit until you felt comforable enough to chat on your own? Just an idea, and like Tina has already said, she may just turn out to be one of your best clients.

 

[glittergirl]

What a great idea Seanny!

Well i have been chatting to my Mom about it and at the end of the day we are all human I am prepared to give it a go if i don't feel comfortable then i can just make out i'm not avaliable again couldn't i and refer her to someone who is comfortable with it.

But thanks Seanny i'm going to do that i work mobile but i would feel more comfortable in my own surroundings I'll say my Van has broken down or something and she can come to me than.

You guys have really helped me out i probley would have just said i'm to busy and not given it a go.
Thanks for the advice.

 

[Trinity]

Good on you - you'll be fine :green:

Make sure you post and let us know how you get on - I for one, am desperate to know how it goes :hug:

T
xx

 

[glittergirl]

Will do

Good on you - you'll be fine :green:

Make sure you post and let us know how you get on - I for one, am desperate to know how it goes :hug:

T
xx

 

[dee]

hi i can see why it took you aback a bit , but like has been said u will probably be fine , my sister used to work with a transexual and she said she was the lovliest person ever , she just happened to have been born in the wrong body , and just got it fixed so she was how she felt she should be ,
try not to emphasise too much on what she was ,but what she is today ,but if you cant cope with it then try and say your mum had someone booked in or something and u didnt know , hth love dee

 

[Sassy Hassy]

OMG I'd love such a client. People like that are usually the most interesting and lovely people going, and how brave of her to say that she was born in a man's body, must have taken some guts. Look at Nadia off Big Brother, she is more woman than most women!!!

If you really feel you can't do the appointment and I was her, I would prefer that someone was honest with me and just let me know that is a problem for them. I would prefer this than thinking I was just being fobbed off.

My only problem would be doing nails like those blokes on that NSI advert, ooh that makes me cringe every time I see it!!! But I'd still do it!! Boy, I love doing something different.

Do you think that you may be more worried that you may say the wrong thing and put your foot in it? Or that you would suddenly see her as a bloke in womens clothing rather than as a woman. You didn't before you knew her secret, so overcome your fears and you'll be fine and I'm sure you'll really enjoy it! Good luck hun

 

[princessmowgli]

If I was you I'd be upfront from the off. Say that you were taken aback & almost refused to do her nails as you were soo suprised .....FAB SURGEON by the way :wink2: .
She told you straight away so you might guess that she is used to these responses, shock, suprise, disgust, embarressment etc.
Chances are she may have a few friends who neesd an understanding tech. GO FOR IT.

I know it's not the same thing but I was once invited to an Ann Summers party by some lesbians that lived a few doors away from me. I didn't go but I wish I did as I reckon it would have been one of the best I'd have ever gone to, DON'T ASK ME WHY

 

[Planet-Nails]

Let us know how you get on - this will be a good personal challenge for you and may open up a whole new client base??


Good luck

 

[gracy]

she may be just as nervous as you are, she has gone through hell and high water to get to that stage in her life, make her feel comfortable like you would with any other client and get on with the job.
i think you will come back and post saying how well you got on and it was actually a fun 2 hours work.

 

[Deb379]

Hi there

OK you were shocked, and if you treat her you maybe shocked first time you see her, but once you get stuck into your work you'll take no notice.

My mum's best friend's son decided he wanted to be a woman, he has breasts, long blond hair but hasn't had the final op yet. His/her mum died last year and she pops in to see my mum to keep in touch. Now my mum is 67 years old, and if she can cope with it I'm sure you can. Just don't look or act differently, treat it as water off a ducks back. This person has guts to do what he/she is doing. Imagine the amount of stick or embarassment they must have already faced.

It's just another client.

Good luck
Deb379

 

[glittergirl]

If I was you I'd be upfront from the off. Say that you were taken aback & almost refused to do her nails as you were soo suprised .....FAB SURGEON by the way :wink2: .
She told you straight away so you might guess that she is used to these responses, shock, suprise, disgust, embarressment etc.
Chances are she may have a few friends who neesd an understanding tech. GO FOR IT.

I know it's not the same thing but I was once invited to an Ann Summers party by some lesbians that lived a few doors away from me. I didn't go but I wish I did as I reckon it would have been one of the best I'd have ever gone to, DON'T ASK ME WHY

Well i have done............i decided that i was going to just go for it so i called her and we have an app booked for Friday @3.30 we were on the fone for about 1/2 an hour i was trying to think of a way to approach the

"How big are your nail beds"

and she just went "is there something you want to ask me?" i felt my stomach drop and i just told her i went through the whole thing this thread everything she said she wishes i would of told her straight away and that she was really nervous too shes never had her nails done before and she is worried that when people are up close to her that they can tell and she hasn't had the full op yet.

So thats why she just blerted it out on the phone.

Thanks for all your msgs and pm's guys i don't think i would of done without you guys!

So i will keep you updated!

thanks guys!

 

[RAQUEL]

I am actually quite jealous... I have always thought that there is a gap in the market for transsexuals.. most people going thru the change are probably quite embarassed. There used to be a shop in Newcastle that specialised in make overs for transexuals and transvestites where they could go and get advice on clothes, make up have hair done etc and i often thought about offering my services as a nail tech... however a sad thing happened as they did a huge construction job opposite this shop and it was sort off down a side street- the clients stopped going as they were getting grief from the builders ( you know what its like!!!) and basically the shop went out of business...