Affirmation ... why do so many need it?

[angelina221]

I notice as I'm sure we all have ... that in the last few weeks there have been a gazillion threads asking us to look at logos, web sites, salon names etc. and give opinions.

My question is ... why do so many need the affirmation of others to make a decision? Do they not have any instinct for what is good and what isn't? And does this apparent insecurity bode well for a successful future in business?
quote]

Why would you need to apologize for lack of artistic ability or asking for feed back about your web site?? This thread is clearly not criticizing people for that ... it is more the 'serial' posters as I think has been made quite clear in the posts above. It wasn't ever just about logos and websites but a whole range of things.

I just answered the original question which did say logos, websites, salon names etc...
I just answered as to why i needed affirmation as that was the question or am i missing something

 

[Lellipop]

Takes allsorts to make the world go round

 

[Jolicatellas]

"Do you think that that casual attitude bodes well for future success for that person???"

There are numbers of threads that smack of 'lack of future success for that person' and not just threads about 'which logo/which name'.

I once questioned the resemblance of the logos and was met with agitation. If you ask for an opinion to you can't then get annoyed b/c some one says you're logo isn't 'wowing' them.

Having said that, I don't believe asking about names/logos/websites is a sign of 'lack of future success' or of a need for affirmation. It is an isolated world working in this industry and for me personally, my family and friends are of little help b/c they don't know the industry well enough. They just agree with what ever I say... and ultimately that doesn't breed success.
Thankfully there is this forum where people can come for some valuable and informative feedback from some great professionals.

 

[Verve Designs]

I think it was less agitation more explanation. You also can't get annoyed if the response to your response isnt what you want to read either!

But of course anyone is entitled to an opinion...most logos on here (either done professionally or personally) are drafts and they can only get better regardless of the feedback being good or bad!

Which I guess goes back to the original point of wanting feedback/affirmation/confirmation.

I know we're going on about logo's too much...but they're an easy metaphor for the subject as a whole.

There are numbers of threads that smack of 'lack of future success for that person' and not just threads about 'which logo/which name'.

Im curious about what you mean by that. You can tell if someone is going to have success in business by what they post on here?

 

[Anna Lee]

The problem is, that we all seem to get defensive too quickly.

As soon as a thread like this goes up, everyone jumps on their computer and quickly explains the reason why they post what they posted, ask what they have asked.

I don't think Gigi is trying to pick on the people who are genuinely stuck and has posted one thread or another, once or twice asking for an opinion.

I think what Gigi is trying to say, is that why there seems to be some 'serial posters' who asks questions about every aspect of their business from scratch. From ' which supplier should I choose'... to ' What equipment do i need'.. to ' please help me find a business name'.

Why does it seem that these people who are suppose to start/build a business for themselves, have no clue whatsoever about what their business involves? Why the many experienced technicians on here are used to help someone to start/build their business from scratch...?

Are they really clueless...? Or are they just lazy and think it is much easier for someone with much more experience to think everything out for them...? If someone was so clueless about the nail industry and what their business involves, then is it really the correct industry for them to go into..? How successful will their business be in the future if everyone does their work for them..?

It's not about the majority of us who needs the help now and again and who are genuine. It about the people who almost abuses this website to a stage where their 'businesses' are built up entirely by the brains of others and not them own selves.

It's easy for someone to pave out a beautiful road for you to walk on, but sooner or later you will trip up, fall flat on your face and hurt yourself because you don't know exactly where the bumps are. In that case, why not do the majority of the work and start by paving the road yourself in order to keep yourself safe and secure..?

 

[Verve Designs]

‘Why did you climb the mountain?' ‘I climbed the mountain because it was there.'

If people answer, people will ask! I'm not sure thats a bad thing is it?

I agree that some of the posts seem nuts, I wont embarrass people by quoting them. I read some of them and think "aww, I was young and cluless once too"...patronising I know. :lol:

But, im inclined to cut people some slack..perhaps theres things that they're not that great at? None of us are good at everything.

Imagine if you're not a great business person but you're REALLY good at nails? You'd need help...why shouldnt you have a small well-run business of your own?

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Back to the original question...yes there seem to be loads of threads about logo and name.

I think its fine, if i don't like the title, i don't read the thread.

If someone says "come up with a name for me" i think you lazy sod do it yourself, because it feels like they can't be bothered and No i don't think this attitude will help them in their business.

However, if they say i have this name and that name, what do you prefer? I think thats fine and i'll give my honest opinon.

 

[naturalnails]

I have tidied up this thread now to try and get it back on track. Please be mindful of the Geek Commandments - especially the one about Private Messages. We do not want this or any other thread to become personal neither do we want it to become a sales pitch about logos LOL.

 

[number1kitty]

There are plenty of stupid threads up and as mentioned we can either answer or ignore them. Most though are genuine and as I wrote in a previous post on here we were trained to be beauty therapists not business managers. Seem as a high majority of this industry end up working for themselves this is something that perhaps needs addressing in colleges.

The rest of the questions often come from people with a dream that will never do more than a few of there friends a week because they don't have a clue about anything yet, maybe because they are young (although not a generalistion as I know many fab girls under 21 running salons) or perhaps they simply want a hobby to get them out the house.

Its a little bit of everyone on this site from the top dogs in the industry right down to newbies. I think older and experienced forum users and business owners can spot the daft threads a mile off.

The mods also are able to close and delete threads if the poster can't be bothered giving a descriptive on what they want help with!

Then some read the threads already written and posted to make our own mind up.

The questions that pee me off are 'whats the best......' they may as well as how longs a piece of string. I also get annoyed when people ask about questions/ideas for their homework, that worries me !

As to the logo issue, your sell yourself to the client not just the Logo so if it all looks samey it dosn't matter. What matters is it looks like you care about your business to get a professional logo done. Very few designers sit there drawing them in from scratch and certainly not for what some people on here charge and the amount of time/effort they put into it. Perhaps though they should be blogs!?!

As for websites..... I just don't have time to look through them so rarely open the thread!

Kate

 

[hippy-chick]

As a lot of people on here, I am a sole trader. I love to come on and see what everyone is doing, if I see a thread title that interests me I have freedom of choice whether to click it or not.

I am not a nail geek so I never click on nail threads, I am not a hairdresser, so I don't click on those threads.

Being a sole trader is quite frankly quite baffling sometimes. We wear many hats; accountant, marketing expert, banker, artist, designer, secretary, bottle washer, buyer, oh and therapist.

Now somethings I happily get on with and feel confident in my own methods, others scare the pants off of me. Luckily I have the likes of geek and other forums to ask for help. Hopefully I learn from that experience and move on, sometimes I even repay the favour and give advice to someone on the same vien, I can empathise with the query as I too have been there, done it and bought the tee-shirt in all the sizes and colours.

Their is always going to be the "same-old same-old" but we have freedom of choice to avoid those.

some people are more confident than others, some are plain lazy and expect to come on and have everything done for them. I think we quickly suss those people out and give them a wide berth.

I quite enjoy looking at peoples websites and logos, and if I have the time and the inclination, will go and look and advice, its usually for a geek that I know and like as I know that the request is heartfelt.

So, onwards eh? Off to answer a question on skincare ranges that has been asked probably a zillion times, but its my day off and thats how I choose to spend it.

 

[Kim Lawless]

I do wish that some of you would have more confidence in your own ability.......there's so much talent and savvy amongst you all. Know your own worth.

As an aside......I trained as a life coach and one of the most interesting things that I learnt was that when you ask for advice, a portion of the advice will be what's best for the advice giver.......even though it may be subconcious.

Example: Sue picks up her mate Ann's kids from school every day. Sue decides she'd like to move miles away to another district. She asks Ann if it's a good idea. Although Ann may agree that it would be a good move for Sue, she'll also be putting herself first and be more concerned about who'll be picking her kids up from school when Sue moves. It isn't done with malice, it's instinct and human survival. Nobody will want anyone to be better or more successful than them. xxx

 

[Bagpuss]

I must be strange then Kim, cos if my mate Sue wanted to move away i would go through all the pro's and cons with her and tell her i would support her decision whatever she decided to do...me picking her kids up from school wouldn't even come into the equasion...i'd just arrange to pick up Bev's kids instead...always more fish in the sea....:lol:

 

[Kim Lawless]

I must be strange then Kim, cos if my mate Sue wanted to move away i would go through all the pro's and cons with her and tell her i would support her decision whatever she decided to do...me picking her kids up from school wouldn't even come into the equasion...i'd just arrange to pick up Bev's kids instead...always more fish in the sea....:lol:

LOL....That's the business woman in you, but you read me wrong Angie. It was the other way around. Maybe that was a stupid example. xxx

 

[Bagpuss]

LOL....That's the business woman in you, but you read me wrong Angie. It was the other way around. Maybe that was a stupid example. xxx

No, it was a good one....(even though i got confused as to whether i was Sue, Anne or Bev...:lol and i agree that there are those who give advise with a hidden agenda...sometimes innocently and sometimes not. But I always like honesty...and so only ever give it....even if it means i lose out...(and often have)

 

[kennedia]

when you ask for advice, a portion of the advice will be what's best for the advice giver.......even though it may be subconcious.

Agree with Kim here. It may make uncomfortable reading, but she's dead right.

 

[sknight]

I dont think there is a problem TBH. I posted my logos ages ago but did choose for myself in the end. I basically wanted opinions from people who have been there and done it before. I was scared to go it alone and chose this site to get opinions. I can take the good with the bad so it was a good outcome for me.

 

[persianista]

I really can't see the problem with assisting people starting out. Not everyone is blessed with enormous self belief, and if we can give a little boost or a different perspective then it can only be a positive thing.
It is after all, a FORUM, an online area where people can exchange thoughts and ideas.
I wonder what threads exactly Geeg would like us to post?
Personally, I like the insights into the minds of my younger staff that I can pick up on here, as they tend to clam up a bit at work.
Also, its quite nice to feel that my opinion and experience is valued, both online here and amongst my own friends in the "real world" who have salons.

 

[1999judy]

I notice as I'm sure we all have ... that in the last few weeks there have been a gazillion threads asking us to look at logos, web sites, salon names etc. and give opinions.

My question is ... why do so many need the affirmation of others to make a decision? Do they not have any instinct for what is good and what isn't? And does this apparent insecurity bode well for a successful future in business?

In running and starting a business people are going to have to learn to make their own decisions and not need to seek affirmation constantly from others that what they are doing is OK. Is it just me?? I just don't get it. I really don't.

Well as you know Geeg...I'm a bit like you. I don't need to know what other people think or feel to know something is right.
It may have come to me from years of experience doing other types of work..I dunno tbh.
I just sense when something is right and wrong and luckily know when to back away.
I don't think it's a good thing to expect backing from people who for one thing may not know you as a person.
The online persona you see may be slightly different from the REAL person.
It Screams insecurity if someone can't make their mind up about the most simple decision.
A business needs much more than that...
Hugs to those who may feel insecure but please deal with it before you step into the business world.....you may find a shark:hug:

 

[geeg]

Thanks for posting Judy .. I hve greatly MISSED you and your common sense approach to things. Great post.

Someone above asked what kind of threads I would like to see ... ?? Not too difficult to answer .. intelligent threads about interesting topics or questions where one can offer real help and encourage success. That is my meat and drink. But I posted this thread to encourage some discussion and that is what we've had.

 

[Chameleon]

I for one have read through this post and thought it very constructive,and some great posts as well.

Some people are quiet,and meek and mild,others can be cautious,and need alot of answers,some can talk for england,and can be influential,while some can be direct to the point,and see things in black and white.

I generally get on with the last two type of people,but that is not to say that there is nothing wrong with quiet,cautious people!:lol:

In business i think also the people who are direct,but have tact,that can articulate but are not condesending and empathetic generally succeed in business.

As for posts on logos and things that i consider nonsensical may not appear so to others....however some people can be insecure,and you do not know the true persona of someone on the net,so what Judy says has a point.:idea: