Am I being unreasonable?

[krum]

I don't have a problem with women breastfeeding all I'm saying is she should of been mindful in my own home that i may not share her personal beliefs and she should of be more respectful of this.

Just because someone has a baby it does not mean you can force you personal views on others and expect them to be ok with it.

I wouldn't expect someone to clean up my own milk or usetheir floor as a changing mat, so why should this woman?

Just because I can't have children for medical reason, doesn't mean I have less rights than someone who can have them in my own home

Getting milk on the sofa is obviously not on and she should have cleaned it up.
But the breastfeeding itself is not a problem. You have opened part of your home as a business so you have to follow the rules of business and allow women to breastfeed if you allow babies.
Women should not have to cover up. What is it about breasts that bothers? Don't sexualise them they are just feeding.

 

[Cindy2021]

I think people have miss understood my issue here, I don't have a problem with nursing mothers that are discreate about breast feeding and cover up while doing it.

What I do take issue with is someone getting their boobs out making a big thing about and covering my sofa arm with breast milk and leaving me to clean it up, just after they have use my lovely new wooden floor as changing mat.

How did she make a big thing about it?
Yes she should have cleaned up any mess she made but she doesn't have to cover up.
If you are upset over a mother breastfeeding then that's not her problem.

 

[Lady Murasaki]

They came to my home as she she couldn't have the trial at her own. I don't normally work from home I normally work mobile and this was made quite clear when The bride booked.

I was doing the bride a favour by having her around to mine as she booked at the last minute.

I moved due 9 years of domestic violence and not being able to work from home (as my ex would let have clients over), if clients couldn't have me come to them.

Now i have my own home, if needs be clients come to me in extreme cases and they are advised its not a salon etc

So them coming to me was a favour to the bride, my home is NOT a salon or set up to be one, the bride was aware of this at the time of booking and she was told to adivse the people she was coming with what the set up would be.

So I have NOT opened up my home as business as I work mobile.

This why I feel this wonen was disrespectful, as she new she coming to my home as a big favour to the bride and that it was not a salon set up and she was aware that I worked mobile.

And yes my insurane and local council know what I do.

 

[surf girl]

This thread is quite amusing, sorry if that upsets anyone booby milk, pottys, nappies, all comes with having kids, did everyone not have the same issues when their kids were little? Looking from the outside I think you should just enforce a no kids rule end of, you may loose customers, but I don't think you'd mind really, some salons welcome children, others don't, imagine if the next baby does poo all over your new floor or worse! Projectile vomits all over your curtains! These things happen with kids daily lol! Personally I enjoy having children feel welcome in my salon, Im patient and I teach them how their expected to behave here (the potty thing happened on a quiet day so chill out folks) I have wifi a toy box and colouring station for them to sit and play, and it gets them used to the salon so they freak out less when they get their own hair done, even the naughtiest kids behave with me! The only thing I do request is nappys are put in the outside bin rather than the salon one lol

 

[surf girl]

They came to my home as she she couldn't have the trial at her own. I don't normally work from home I normally work mobile and this was made quite clear when The bride booked.

I was doing the bride a favour by having her around to mine as she booked at the last minute.

I moved due 9 years of domestic violence and not being able to work from home (as my ex would let have clients over), if clients couldn't have me come to them.

Now i have my own home, if needs be clients come to me in extreme cases and they are advised its not a salon etc

So them coming to me was a favour to the bride, my home is NOT a salon or set up to be one, the bride was aware of this at the time of booking and she was told to adivse the people she was coming with what the set up would be.

So I have NOT opened up my home as business as I work mobile.

This why I feel this wonen was disrespectful, as she new she coming to my home as a big favour to the bride and that it was not a salon set up and she was aware that I worked mobile.

And yes my insurane and local council know what I do.

Sorry I hadn't read this when I posted!

 

[Grace_Hair]

This thread is quite amusing, sorry if that upsets anyone booby milk, pottys, nappies, all comes with having kids, did everyone not have the same issues when their kids were little? Looking from the outside I think you should just enforce a no kids rule end of, you may loose customers, but I don't think you'd mind really, some salons welcome children, others don't, imagine if the next baby does poo all over your new floor or worse! Projectile vomits all over your curtains! These things happen with kids daily lol! Personally I enjoy having children feel welcome in my salon, Im patient and I teach them how their expected to behave here (the potty thing happened on a quiet day so chill out folks) I have wifi a toy box and colouring station for them to sit and play, and it gets them used to the salon so they freak out less when they get their own hair done, even the naughtiest kids behave with me! The only thing I do request is nappys are put in the outside bin rather than the salon one lol

Jodie... You've put me off children even more! [emoji23]

 

[blossom]

Am I right in thinking it wasn't the client breastfeeding etc but her mate?

 

[Lady Murasaki]

I don't have children of my own due to medical issues.

However just because I express an opinion that doesn't sit well with those that do not agreed with me doesn't mean that I am not intitle to my own views on this subject.

Especially as I opened up my home out kindness to help a client out (when I don't normally work from home) and I was made to feel uncomfortable in my own home and leave me having to get breast milk out my sofa and leave my sitting room stinking of poo on one of the hottest day of year.

How is this fair in me???

If this was a business set up fair enough to some extent, but I was made to feel uncomfortable in my own home this was my lovely new home and sofa.

She even had the nerve to get funny with me when I asked if she had a changing mat, like she has the right to do wtf she want in my own home.

Tbh I felt bullied by her.

 

[Lady Murasaki]

Am I right in thinking it wasn't the client breastfeeding etc but her mate?

It was her mate and she new this was my home, I'd just moved in and it was not a salon, it was my home and I was doing the bride a favour

 

[Lady Murasaki]

Getting milk on the sofa is obviously not on and she should have cleaned it up.
But the breastfeeding itself is not a problem. You have opened part of your home as a business so you have to follow the rules of business and allow women to breastfeed if you allow babies.
Women should not have to cover up. What is it about breasts that bothers? Don't sexualise them they are just feeding.

This was my home not a business address as I work mobile. I had the round as the bride couldn't have me around to hers.

She was made aware I didn't have a salon set up and I didnt normally run a business from home and she would be coming into my home not a business set up.

Her mum and friend were also made aware.

 

[Cindy2021]

They shouldn't have accompanied her however you made a point of saying she shouldn't breastfeed which is ridiculous nowadays.
Every mother should be able to feed her child anywhere and feel comfortable doing it. Why another woman would feel uncomfortable with a baby feeding is beyond me.
Would you ask a friend visiting to not feed their baby in your company?

 

[Emily S]

I appreciate you don't like having your sofa dirtied but you keep making a point of it being 'breast' milk which seems to be more of an issue than anything else...

As for changing the baby, I wouldn't be offended by this - if I was the mother I'd be more cautious of the floor being dirty than the nappy being unhygienic - it's not like it's smeared on the floor, it's a bit of odour!!

Also, did you charge for the appointment? If so, you weren't doing a favour, you were working and opened your home for business. You should have advised a no children/no eating rule. To expect a baby not to be fed is ridiculous and I can't really imagine she was getting her boob out to shoot it around like a water pistol - accidents happen.

From the general idea of your posts you'd be best with no babies/children in the house, lesson learnt.

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

I don't think you're being unreasonable expecting the client or anyone with them to ask you where would be the best place to change their baby. For your sake and the baby's.

I personally wouldn't have a problem with someone breast feeding. Usually they're so discreet I don't even notice. However it's only common decency if someone spills something in your home or on your sofa, for them to tell you, apologise and clean it up.

So nothing left to do now but decide if you can deal with it or otherwise put a no children policy in place at your home x

 

[Lady Murasaki]

Yes its in a public place or in their own home etc nursing mothers can do what ever they want, however this was in my home a private premises, she was made aware before had this was not a business set up and she should at least asked if it was ok, it's called manners and being respectful in someone's home.

I never said that she couldn't breastfeed to her face, so please don't miss quote me. However this was my home, her behaviour towards her changing her baby on my floor was rude, disrespectful, made me very uncomfortable and unfair, she damaged my sofa (it's now stained and I'm going to have replace it) and I felt she had no thought for my feeling especially as it was MY home she was in.

She was rude and aggressive when I politely ask if she had a changing mat with her and tbh I felt I was being forced in my own home to comply with her wishes etc

Despite this none of you seem to think that this woman was in the wrong and seem hell bent on making me out to unreasonable and that I discriminate against breastfeed women when I don't.

Nursing mothers can do what they want in public and in their own homes, but when someone comes into my home, ( and I'm doing your best friend a favour when I don't normally work from home) I don't appreciate someone like this woman using my floor as changing mat, throwing dirty nappies on the floor, stinking my sitting room out with poo, getting aggressive with me for asking a reasonable question about a changing mat and then proceeding to cause damage to my furniture.

This is Disrespectful.

Just because someone has a baby doesnt mean they can what they want when want, especially when their in someone else's home.

 

[Lady Murasaki]

I don't think you're being unreasonable expecting the client or anyone with them to ask you where would be the best place to change their baby. For your sake and the baby's.

I personally wouldn't have a problem with someone breast feeding. Usually they're so discreet I don't even notice. However it's only common decency if someone spills something in your home or on your sofa, for them to tell you, apologise and clean it up.

So nothing left to do now but decide if you can deal with it or otherwise put a no children policy in place at your home x

I don't normally work from home, I work mobile. This was favour to the bride as she could have her treatment at her home and it was a short time before the event so didn't have much option.

My home is set up as home not as salon or home/salon, her friend was made aware beforehand.

 

[Cindy2021]

You have to replace your sofa because she spilled breast milk in it?

 

[blossom]

The breastfeeding issue is always heated and I'd be first to agree it's the most natural thing in the world but you've said you don't have an issue with it so moving on to the subject of the stain.

I would feel bad if I damaged someone else's property full stop, whether it was breastmilk, spilt coffee, lipstick whatever. (Let's forget what it was because it doesn't really matter).

That said, accidents happen.

I think it's what you call "one of those things". When you invite people into your home there's always a small element of risk that something could get damaged. I've had a client gesture with her freshly painted hands and leave nail polish on my cream curtains. And a clients child damage something once. But if it's accidental rather than deliberate, it's annoying but what can you say?

Can you make a claim on your home insurance policy?

Edit to add: it's a shame she tagged along at all isn't it

 

[Mrs Bod]

I'm sorry to read that this situation has upset you so much, but here's my opinion for what it's worth:

Although I agree that she should have notified you there'd been a "spillage" and offered to deal with it, I really don't think you'll need to replace your sofa because of some spilt breastmilk. It breaks down very easily with a gentle fabric cleanser and you'll never know it happened.

Secondly, I think you may be over exaggerating the "stink". Breastfed babies' poo hardly smells at all - you're lucky she wasn't formula feeding (not that I have anything against it) cos that really can pong on the way out! [emoji23].

Thirdly, you allowed the new mum and baby to enter your house, so that to me would indicate you didn't have a problem. So once inside and her baby needs feeding/changing then it really becomes one of those things and needs to be dealt with there and then.

You can't leave a baby to go hungry and it's not too much fun to be sat in your own SH1T for too long [emoji23]

So you could possibly have offered the mum an old/clean towel to change her baby on?

FWIW I bet the mum was mortified that her baby decided to fill his nappy and want a feed while in a strangers house and she probably came across a little short because she was stressed out.

By the way I wouldn't want to change my baby on a cold, hard floor no matter how new or posh it was!

 

[RED STAR]

Having your business in a salon, is no different, IMO, to tending clients at home....we still expect respect.
For what it's worth, my thoughts are these....
Some folk just don't give a fu*k!

If they want to let 'little Jimmy run a muck.....Jimmy will
If they spill coffee on your chaise lounge.......Oops, accident's happen.......
If they ask for a 'complimentary coffee'....then decide to leave it....well, it's not like it costs that much!!
and if they decide to tear the recipe out of your latest 'woman & home'.....well ....you'll just have to get over it!
Manners it seems, no longer count!

 

[Lady Murasaki]

I'm sorry to read that this situation has upset you so much, but here's my opinion for what it's worth:

Although I agree that she should have notified you there'd been a "spillage" and offered to deal with it, I really don't think you'll need to replace your sofa because of some spilt breastmilk. It breaks down very easily with a gentle fabric cleanser and you'll never know it happened.

Secondly, I think you may be over exaggerating the "stink". Breastfed babies' poo hardly smells at all - you're lucky she wasn't formula feeding (not that I have anything against it) cos that really can pong on the way out! [emoji23].

Thirdly, you allowed the new mum and baby to enter your house, so that to me would indicate you didn't have a problem. So once inside and her baby needs feeding/changing then it really becomes one of those things and needs to be dealt with there and then.

You can't leave a baby to go hungry and it's not too much fun to be sat in your own SH1T for too long [emoji23]

So you could possibly have offered the mum an old/clean towel to change her baby on?

FWIW I bet the mum was mortified that her baby decided to fill his nappy and want a feed while in a strangers house and she probably came across a little short because she was stressed out.

By the way I wouldn't want to change my baby on a cold, hard floor no matter how new or posh it was!

I didn't know she had a baby when the bride invited her around I did mention to her about no children in the house children when she asked to come me.

Had I known she had a baby in tow I would said at the time of booking that I wasn't happy with her bringing it. She just turned up with the baby, so felt under pressure to let her in with it, again she didn't consider my feeling or no child policy.

I do need to replace the sofa.

She wasn't alt all embarrassed, more to point she came across untitled and didn't care that she made me feel uncomfortable in my own home.