Anyone's fella in the army?

[The Beauty Shed]

Hiya, I'm just asking cause I'm wondering what your life is like with him in the army?

The reason being, I have been with my bloke for about 7 months now, I have fallen in love with him and he loves me.... fairytale story you might think! He has dropped the bombshell on me now that he wants to join the army but has asked me to stay with him.

Now I really can't see any good points to this whatsoever, I have a distant friend who is in the army and I had a conversation with him at xmas and he told me that he'd only spent 13 weeks in this country last year and I just keep playing that conversation over and over again in my head and it fills me with dread! I am the type of person that needs company and hates being on my own, I miss him if I don't see him over the weekend and can't wait for Monday, what will I be like if he goes for weeks or months?

Anyway, I'm just after some input and advice really from those of you already in this situation, thanks in advance xxx

 

[tamimac]

Best Pm SHELLY hun, I know her blokes in the army. Mines in the RAF and he doesnt go away nearly bloomin enough lol. Nah, really theres loads of upside to this life and you get to travel all over. And its bloody cheap rent which give you more money and youll make so many mates so when he does go away youll always have support. I love the RAF life but ask around.

 

[jo louise]

hi there

my husband is in the army and the live is good.im out in germany at the moment and have been for nearly 6 years by the time that we are due to be posted it would be 8 years out here.

if you would like to email me you can. if i can help i will

jo louise

 

[jo louise]

hi
sorry i ment life.

jo louise

 

[jess124]

HI, I think the worst part you'll have to face is when your fella does his basic training to be honest. I felt as though i'd lost my right arm when my husband went away for his. It was very very very hard to adjust to being without him for months on end. But once we had got through that it got easier. You will need 100% trust in each other to make it work IMO. Army life itself once you are married is find great, you go with them for tours that are over 6 months in length, get to see so many differnt places, make friends, good housing (generally!) But like I said I did find it pretty tough in the beguinning, but if you're really in love and really want it to work, it will.

 

[The Beauty Shed]

Hi Jo, just wondering, have you always travelled with him or were u the stay at home and wait for his return type of partner at first? What was it like if u were left behind all the time?

If he was stationed/posted (don't know what the terminology is) somewhere and I got to go then maybe it would be ok, but do u have to be married for that to happen?

My best friend and mom have told me to give it a go and see how I get on but I just wanted to see what it was like from your point of view x

 

[The Beauty Shed]

Oh and I 4got 2 say, he's already passed the 1st few interviews and tests, he said he didn't want to get me down if he didn't pass, I only think he's got a couple of stages to go b4 he does the training so felt it was time he told me!

 

[jess124]

You can go with him and get service accomodation on a tour over 6 months only if you are married as far as I know. But there is nothing to stop you staying boyf and girlf and you moving to the area he is posted to and renting a civvi house near his barracks if you don't want to rush into getting married.

 

[jo louise]

hi
when we meet it was where i lived so it wasnt to bad, but when he went away for a few weeks at a time it wasnt to bad but then i still had my friends and family with me.
we then got married and when we got our first quarter it was great but then he started to go away on tours and im not going to tell you that its not hard because it is but you will get used to it.

if i was going to tell you the one thing i would say is that it as good and as great as you make it.
do you know who is is going to join.
jo louise x

 

[mariacarla]

My husband has just joined we have four kids, he is going away for his basic training on the 3rd of April, I don`t know what I am going to do with myself, I no I will end up crying every night, we have been together 7 years and the only nights apart in the whole 7 years was when I was in hospital giving birth, then he was there as much as he could be. OMG I started crying again.
I know it will be worth it when hes in its the only thing he have ever wanted to do, and I owe it to him to be with him.

I suppose it depens on how much you like him.

 

[jess124]

My husband has just joined we have four kids, he is going away for his basic training on the 3rd of April, I don`t know what I am going to do with myself, I no I will end up crying every night, we have been together 7 years and the only nights apart in the whole 7 years was when I was in hospital giving birth, then he was there as much as he could be. OMG I started crying again.
I know it will be worth it when hes in its the only thing he have ever wanted to do, and I owe it to him to be with him.

I suppose it depens on how much you like him.

aaarrr, my heart goes out to you, it really does. I only had 1 child when my husband went to do his training and that was bad enough, never mind 4. You are very brave and unselfish by the sound of it. Just remember to take each day at a time and hopefully you have some family and friends you can lean on for support.

 

[The Beauty Shed]

how long is the initial training? or does it depend which section he is joining? I haven't got a clue 2 b honest which bit he wants to do!

 

[Zingara]

Hey Samoyed

My husband is in the army and I can tell you its a real mixed bag! There are some great upsides to service life - like career training and the opportunity to learn skills for life, a roof over your head for a very reasonable cost, and retirement in your 40's on a good pension. The job is secure and as long as he's prepared to work, and keep his nose clean, he will be rewarded for what he does. If he or you are into any sports then they are incredibly supportive of this (a fairly large proportion of the British Olympic squad were current or ex military) For example we both love sailing, and through the army, we charter a 35 foot yacht on the south coast very often for a weekend - now no way could I afford to do this otherwise...it would be 5 times the cost! Likewise, we often go to London and stay in one of the military run hotels for just over £40 per person for the night....anywhere else is over £100!

But to every upside there is a downside. Yes, he will go away for long periods of time, and sometimes to places that can be worrying, but this depends on what he does. Not every soldier is a fighter, so to speak....mine is in REME, and maintains a vehicle fleet for want of a better description. You don't get quarters until you are married or have a family , and even then, whilst well maintained, you go where they put you - so don't generally get a masssive choice and to be honest, the worst bit is....if you don't like something, then its usually tough...like it or lump it!

I have a good career in the city, but know that my husband is getting posted soon, so its unlikley I'll get to stay there, but then i found my passion for nails and am busy setting up my own business, so you could say its done me a favour.

I've tried to give you an idea, from a neutral perspective. Also you may like to check out the army websites as there is so much info on there for family

http://www.mod.uk/DefenceInternet/DefenceFor/ServiceCommunity/

http://www.army.mod.uk/aff/

and

http://www.army.mod.uk/soldierwelfare/index.htm

will give you some good info.

All in all, I'd say if you and this guy are serious about a life together, then the army will give you a lot of stability, and a great community of people around you...but really, you will only benefit if and when you are married, and/or have children. Frustrating, but true.

Feel free to pm me if you want to chat more. I really hope this helps

 

[~shelley~]

Hiya hun My husband is in the Army & we were together 2.5 years before we got married & to be honest it was hard!! but in a way i still had all of my family & friends & job & social life etc then when we got married i moved straight to Germany & it was a shock to the system, i found it so hard to get a job, i had no friends - i had such a good job before i moved there & loads of qualifications but my face didnt fit really! then i fell pregnant & was a hormonal freak!!! Jim was away with one thing & another like the firemans strike for about 6 months while i was pregant so that was crap! I had Emily & had about 6 months off work then managed to get a P/T job working for Abby National, i made loads of friends through work & having Emily & started to really love it in Germany, then Jim got promoted & posted to Catterick for our sins!!! We lived in an Army quarter & totally hated it so we bought a house in my home town as it isnt far from Catterick so he just drives to & from Work, he was away approx 8 months of last year but since Oct he hasnt been away much, he has been promoted again & put onto his tiffy sgts course sowe are moving to Hampshire in April!!! We are renting our House out here.
I'm just giving you an idea of what happens with Army life - i'm not trying to put you off - its like a rolercoster ride at times but its also brill at times too.

I also just want to tell you about my sister she met her now husband in Nov 02 in Germany when she was visiting me he is in the Army too, about a year later she moved to Germany to work for Naafi & they rented a flat together, it was much more to rent than an Army quarter but obviously they just wanted to live together, she was really happy with her job but again Phil was away loads on Tour etc & she got no support from his unit as she was only a 'girlfriend' - it was really upsetting for her & she always says now that she is married she will support the girlfriends more especially in Germany as you really need it. It obviously depends on the unit though.

I hope you don't think i am trying to put you off i am just being honest as its not easy at times xxxxxx

 

[jess124]

My husband joined the Infantry originally and his basic training was 6 months. 7 weeks way, long weekend home, then another 7-8 weeks away. A weeks leave then to Catterick for 3 months Infantry training but he got most weekends off during that time. So it is split up at least. Yes the training time does change depending on what he's joining. Do you which regiment is he going to? My hubby has just changed to REME and the course for that takes 9 months (roughly), so as you can tell some will be shorter than 6 months, some longer depending on what his doing.

 

[mariacarla]

My hubby gos for 6 weeks, then he comes home for the weekend, then he is away for another six weeks and has his passing out.
Comes home for a while I think its a week, then he is away for 12 weeks but can come home every weekend. Then Its just witing the posting till were back together.
I think its the same for most

 

[tinkywinky]

My husband is in the army, and it has it's ups and downs. On the up side, as others have said, you are given reasonable accommodation, treated well financially etc.

On the down side it can be lonely, if they go away it is hard on you emotionally, I am four hours from my home town and have a small son which can be isolating and it is hard for example if you get sick. We rarely see our friends and family, and being a homebird I really miss this.

I've been married 5 years now, and have lived in 3 houses in three different areas in the South of England. Each area has been a new experience, on the one hand I loved our first posting and on the other the second one I found to be dreadful. Now we are here I do enjoy it.

When your hubby's go away that is the hard part. It isn't nice watching the man you love going off to war. But people are supportive and it is easy to meet other wifes in a similar situation.

It is also hard when you are used to having them around and they go away to do training, I found living without my fiance to be very hard. That's when having your own married house is great.

One piece of advice I got told, was not to mix with other army wifes?!!

I don't agree with this, have my own thoughts on this as I have made some SUPERB friends, much of whom are like my second family. Leaving them behind when you move is also hard.

But it is good to exercise caution when you meet new people, some of the wifes I have met have been quite nasty towards me and jealous. I must say that I did nothing to provoke this, for example one got very nasty when my hubby was in Iraq and said nasty and degrading things about him in front of my face. I nearly flew at the girl and told her friend that she should never come round to my house again or she'd be off the doorstep as quickly as she was on it!! Hence she lost a good friend and I learned a lesson, and no she didn't come back. Thank god.


This is probably cos I have my own business and there is an element of jealousy there.

But in general life as an army wife is good.

I plan to move home next year so that my son will go to one school and have as much of a settled upbringing as we can give him. Hopefully we will get posted up north and that will make it easier.

HTH'S.xxx

 

[The Beauty Shed]

God, it's really not fun fun fun is it! But that's what I was expecting to be honest! I'll have to sit him down and have a BIG talk later, find out more, like which part he's joining etc etc, knowing him it'll be the fighting parts cause he has strong feelings on terrorism etc and has always gone on about how much the army, especially the marines (what the hell r they? i thought it was fish?!) do towards it and helping victims like in Iraq. I don't really understand any of it as I've never paid that much attention to what the army does!

Another question for those of you that travel from post to post with your hubbies. do you run nail businesses from home/mobile? I never really thought about the wives getting jobs whilst there, I bet it's hard having to start up again and get a whole new set of clients whenever u move?!

Thanks girls for all your input and advice, it's nice to not be buttered up and be given to me on a plate! I'll let u know how we get on x

 

[Zingara]

God, it's really not fun fun fun is it! But that's what I was expecting to be honest! I'll have to sit him down and have a BIG talk later, find out more, like which part he's joining etc etc, knowing him it'll be the fighting parts cause he has strong feelings on terrorism etc and has always gone on about how much the army, especially the marines (what the hell r they? i thought it was fish?!) do towards it and helping victims like in Irag. I don't really understand any of it as I've never paid that much attention to what the army does!

Thanks girls for all your input and advice, it's nice to not be buttered up and be given to me on a plate! I'll let u know how we get on x

You got it, hun....your best thing right now is to find out all you can from him....and it'll all start to make sense!! And, if he goes ahead and joins up, don't forget, you have geeky friends here, who know what its like!

 

[tinkywinky]

yes you have to start and re-start businesses all the time, this is my third in two years but I am doing well here so don't let it put you off. Army life isn't That bad, it is hard work though.