Best friend announces engagement on Facebook

[chazz!!]

Ok so the title says it all my best friend announced her engagement on Facebook and I'm very upset that she did not evan text me first to let me know before announcing to the world. She doesn't see why I'm upset she says it was easier to formally announce it rather than text people I did not see her status straight away so did not see it until the next day and Im quite upset that everyone else new before me. Iv been listening to her go on and on for years about how her partner hadn't proposed and when would he bla bla and then when he finally does she didn't evan tell me. I sent her a message on Facebook but she doesn't get why I'm upset.

What do you guys think. X

 

[Baggybear]

She did not prioritise any 1 person, is that not the best and only way to announce it without having to make a list of who you call/text before whoever else (and you'd definatley run the risk of people getting upset they were last to know etc..).

I mean she is excited and wants to tell everyone he has finally asked her and she has said yes. Would you really want her to have to sit down and list who she was going to call/text in order of importance to her?

That would defo take the shine of the fab news she wants to pass on.

I think your taking this way to personally. Sorry but that's just my opinion :Love:.

 

[leannelily]

I can see why your upset, i would be if that was my bestfriend. Although saying that she must of been very excited!

I'm sure if she was in your shoes she would have been upset too!

 

[chazz!!]

She waited a week for putting on Facebook told all family and some friends via phone it seams she just hadn't got round to me yet

 

[PaulineM-Mobile]

If it was my best friend I'd genuinely be very happy for her. I don't care if the president, her family or I heard first. Why does it matter?

The fact that you feel otherwise simply means there is more to this than meets the eye.

 

[sarah_clancy]

Ok so the title says it all my best friend announced her engagement on Facebook and I'm very upset that she did not evan text me first to let me know before announcing to the world. She doesn't see why I'm upset she says it was easier to formally announce it rather than text people I did not see her status straight away so did not see it until the next day and Im quite upset that everyone else new before me. Iv been listening to her go on and on for years about how her partner hadn't proposed and when would he bla bla and then when he finally does she didn't evan tell me. I sent her a message on Facebook but she doesn't get why I'm upset.

What do you guys think. X

I'm with you, I'd be quite gutted.
I've purposely not announced my pregnancy over fb, so I've had enough time to tell my nearest and dearest face to face.
Did you ask her how come she hadn't told you?x

 

[Baggybear]

She waited a week for putting on Facebook told all family and some friends via phone it seams she just hadn't got round to me yet

Now this ^^ makes the situation different in my eyes.

I would be wondering if my idea of how close we are is the same as hers, do you maybe class her to be a 'best friend' where she classes you to be 'a good mate' but not a best friend (I know that sounds a bit childish but it's the best way I can describe what I mean).

 

[Wonda]

I found out last week that my best friend had been in a car accident by facebook & that was only cause i saw it on her hubby's status.

Quickly texted her to see if she was ok, she is thankfully & even more thankfully her little'un wasnt in the car with her.

I can understand that you feel a little miffed, but she wont remember all the times she was moaning to you because she's now in full flow i'm getting married mode & just need to tell everyone.

I wouldnt make a big deal with her about it, as long as you've said you wish you'd heard from her personally & she knows that, move on & get on the bride-bandwagon.

 

[salj]

I get it. I was the 2nd person my bff rang when she got engaged and if I hadn't been id have been pissed!!

Sent from my GT-I9100 using SalonGeek

 

[dolled up]

I announced my engagement on Facebook before I'd told anyone (apart from my mom as she was there at the time) even my OH's parents but it was just because I was caught up in the moment and it was easier to put on there. I wouldn't be too worried about it xx

 

[sarah_clancy]

Now this ^^ makes the situation different in my eyes.

I would be wondering if my idea of how close we are is the same as hers, do you maybe class her to be a 'best friend' where she classes you to be 'a good mate' but not a best friend (I know that sounds a bit childish but it's the best way I can describe what I mean).

Yeah I know what you mean baggybear!

Hope this isn't the case, but might well be? xx

 

[jazmine]

Hi, please dont take offence but I can't see the issue. I told my Bestie almost immediately when I found out I was pregnant - it wouldn't have made a difference to her if she were the last person to know-she wa shocked but delighted for us.

It's a happy occasion keep it at that its her decision how who and when she shares things with.

My sister in law disappeared over Xmas and got married in Kenya. Her family didn't bat an eyelid it was their day and they celebrated their relationship in the way they wanted.

There are bigger issues all around than to take offence or fall out over something so small. Just enjoy wedding planning with her and then be there when she moans about her husband to be its what friends do!

 

[chazz!!]

Shes already booked everything she wrote on Facebook date place everything booked, she still hasn't phoned me to chat about it.

I can't help but feel annoyed and I feel bad that I'm annoyed I don't want to congratulate a Facebook page and feel funny to ring as she should have rung.

 

[lashed11]

Facebook sometimes causes more hassle than its worth! It's so good to connect and share but at the same time can cause soooo many arguments! It's even on Jeremy Kyle lol x

 

[Lolla]

Not just Facebook - my best friend didn't tell me she was pregnant, she wrote a cryptic message in a mates birthday card giving it away...I found out as the word travelled around the room. I was very upset that she didn't value our friendship enough to tell me directly. So I can totally empathise with how you feel xx

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[Claire-x]

I'm with you Chazz....I'd be gutted. When I got engaged I told all my family and friends either in person or over the phone, then announced it on FB. Same as when we found out we were pregnant, we told family and friends when we found out and then announces it on FB after our 12 week scan. I know where people are coming from when they say she didn't want to single people out and tell some and not others but where Facebook is concerned, I think there's a difference between friends you speak to once a week and meet for coffee regularly and the other 200 people that occasionally like a status. I know it is probably really petty and pathetic but I do feel the same as you, And would grudge saying congrats so publicly but if you don't want to lose whatever friendship you have then you may just have to xx

 

[cabby]

I sorry if this offends but why do you feel so special that she has to tell you first? Surely when he did ask being as she had been waiting years for this event, she must of been fit to burst and wanted to tell the world. You as her best friend should be chuffed to bits for her. I have been best friends with mine for nearly 40 years and wouldn't bother me in the slightest I would just be happy she was happy xxxx

 

[Lady Murasaki]

You there when she needed you and now she has got what she wanted( bf proposed) she no longer needs your 'close friendship' to vent about how disappointing her bf is in the engagement stakes.

She may even be distancing her self from you because she was openly critical about him to you about not proposing and is worried this info may come light as post engagement.

Either way I don't think your friendship with her is as strong or as close as you feel.

Any true best friend would not want to offend you and would be thoughtful of your feelings



you

 

[chazz!!]

I don't think it was a matter of over excitement as she has he proposed on the 20th of January and she didn't announce it until Monday night I had also spoken to her by text Saturday and she didn't mention it. Oh well we've fallen out now and I think doe of you are right it that I think we're closer that she does as iv known her for 10 years

 

[salj]

I sorry if this offends but why do you feel so special that she has to tell you first? Surely when he did ask being as she had been waiting years for this event, she must of been fit to burst and wanted to tell the world. You as her best friend should be chuffed to bits for her. I have been best friends with mine for nearly 40 years and wouldn't bother me in the slightest I would just be happy she was happy xxxx

It's not about not being happy for her. But if you are really close with someone and you share everything then suddently she didn't share a massive life event with you before telling the world, it would be very upsetting.

My best friend told me she was pregnant the day after she found out. Only her and her husband's families and a few close friends knew about it, until after the 12 week scan. We tell each other everything and we are a massive part of each other's support system. So yeah, if I'd found out about it after 12 weeks with everyone else I'd have been upset. If something major like that happened to me, she would be the person I would tell first too.

OP, I'm sorry you have fallen out with your friend and I hope you can resolve it! x