Csa

[Beautyandme]

Hi, can anyone give me some advice please,

If your ex-partner, who pays csa for 1 child, remarries and then they seperate and he then has two pay for 1 child and another one on the way. How much does the payments go down by for the 1st child.

I understand that this goes on their wages, but just wandered if anyone out there, had been lucky enough to not lose out to much on their monthly payments.

He says that he wants to pay me less money then I am currently getting, as he cant afford it, and then he and his wife wont argue over money coming to me, and then they can stay together.

thanks for any advice.

 

[Marlise]

He says that he wants to pay me less money then I am currently getting, as he cant afford it, and then he and his wife wont argue over money coming to me, and then they can stay together.

thanks for any advice.

Er, what ??!!

I know I obviously don't have all the background to this, but it sounds to me like he's playing with your feelings / emotional blackmail by saying the above to you.

I have no idea how CSA works and can't give you any answers on that, but I honestly thinks he's trying to scare you in losing money if him and his wife seperate that he's trying to get you to agree to reduce your allowance every month so HE can benefit.

Chances are, there are no issues between him and his wife about money and he's just being a creep.

And if there are issues, well, she should have known about this before she married him, so what's the problem now all of a sudden ??


Marlise

 

[jellytot1978]

hi there, if you visit the CSA website they have a payment calculator, which after just putting in a few bits of info should tell you have much you should receive! xx

HTH

 

[sj1973]

He says that he wants to pay me less money then I am currently getting, as he cant afford it, and then he and his wife wont argue over money coming to me, and then they can stay together.

thanks for any advice.

Can't believe your ex has said that. It has NOTHING to do with you what him and his wife get up to and will NOT affect the money you receive from him.

I think it works out that he has to pay 20% of his wages for first child then 15% for second child and so on. He will have to pay some and csa dont give a monkey's if him and his wife are rowing over csa. They want the money for you .

 

[1999judy]

CSA Homepage - Child Support Agency

 

[beautyseeker]

He is just trying it on hun.

Get in touch with CSA and talk to someone, I am sure that they will put your mind at rest, anyway his problems with is wife have nothing to do with you, they are HIS problems.

Trish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hug:

 

[absolutly fab!]

Hi, can anyone give me some advice please,

If your ex-partner, who pays csa for 1 child, remarries and then they seperate and he then has two pay for 1 child and another one on the way. How much does the payments go down by for the 1st child.

I understand that this goes on their wages, but just wandered if anyone out there, had been lucky enough to not lose out to much on their monthly payments.

He says that he wants to pay me less money then I am currently getting, as he cant afford it, and then he and his wife wont argue over money coming to me, and then they can stay together.

thanks for any advice.

sound more like emotial balck male! csa make all the decisions!

 

[Beautyandme]

Thanks for the replies

My ex has apparently moved out of his rented home because he is arguing with his wife, over the fact that the CSA have awarded me more money, (this is the first increase that I will receive in 8yrs).

He has said that they cant afford to give me the amount that the CSA have told him to, and they are struggling.

He whats to do a deal without the csa being involved.

He has said that because I am now entitled to extra money, it has caused arguments, and that if I won't accept a lower amount, they will split for good. He will then have to pay her for their 1st child and then when the new baby arrives, and that will effect my payments.

And I will get alot less (maybe even less than I was getting before this new amount) I was just trying to work out that if his wages are split 3 ways, how much I would get and would it be worth thinking about agreeing to his plee.

If I do agree, he could let me down and not pay at all/not pay one month/or abit that month etc on the other hand if he cant afford to pay me the new amount, and ends up defaulting, I could be out of pocket anyway.

Really wish, I didnt have to deal with this, do I stick with the CSA and hope I keep getting the money (if he has it to pay me) or do want he wants.

By the way I havent actually seen/spoken to him in years.

cheers for the replies

 

[1999judy]

Stick with the CSA or see a solicitor.
Emotional blackmail after years??? Cheeky bugger.
Hope you sort it out hun x

 

[bubbabinks]

stick with CSA hun, has he moved out so she can claim some benefits? Me thinks they haven't split he's just playing on your emotions hun.

 

[JessieBee]

Stick with the csa, at least then you'll always get something. Something is better than nothing.

My sister is having trouble getting her ex to pay for his child and we have told her sooo many times to get the csa involved. He's one of these "I'll give you some money when I've got some" blokes. Never got the money for his son but he's got the money to feed a dog, own a house, go to the pub with his mates etc. She doesn't ever get anything for him. He conveniently loses his job when she threatens to go to the csa, silly bugger should follow through with the threats :smack:
He even tried to deny their lad was his so he didn't have to pay!
I'm sure he'd get her on bleeding Jeremy Kyle for a DNA if he could lol.

As for the emotional blackmail/guilt trip he's giving you about HIS money troubles, ignore it, it's not your problem. You shouldn't be made to lose out on money that is helping bring up HIS son just so that he can live happily ever after!

My dad didn't pay maintenance to my mum for us lot for years then all of a sudden she got a nice fat cheque for 2500K of back pay from the csa, they had caught up with him and he was made to pay it all back. Just wondering if this is still how they deal with non payers if he was to default? If not they should lol.

Anyway, hope you get it sorted x

 

[Beautyandme]

Thanks

I just have to wait and see, if they do split and see if the new wife puts in a claim for 1 child and then for the other that is due later this year.

If that happens then my payments will go down alot I would imagine, which of course I dont want. But if I dont stick with the csa, I might not get anything at all.

Hopefully they are bluffing, and he will soon be back in the marital home. From what I can gather he wants to go home, just that the new wife isnt happy that they are going to have to pay more, and that leaves them with less money (which of course I can understand, wont help them at all), but the only thing I can say to defend myself, is that she knew what she was getting herself into before marrying him and having a baby and now another one.

I think they thought that they we had just dissappeared, and we had until the csa told us that I was entitled to more money, and I wasnt going to argue with that. Does that make me the selfish horrible ex-wife??

thanks again

 

[Coppertop]

You are lucky, we get not a penny off my step-sons egg donor and CSA are like my ar*e.
Not a penny for over a year and are they bothered? NO.

I do believe that men get a very hard time over payments as i have seen it first hand and i think it's best all round if things can be sorted out between each other without CSA.
We were told that buying coal to heat our house and water was a luxury so all i can say is really think about how much they are going to take from him and how much you really need.

 

[Marlise]

the only thing I can say to defend myself, is that she knew what she was getting herself into before marrying him and having a baby and now another one.

Exactly my thoughts.

It might sound harsh, but if you know things are tough, you don't go and have more kids. As a matter of fact, you make damn sure you don't have any more kids.

Granted, accidents happen, but you make your choices in life.

It would be the same as me having loads of animals (food, vet bills, vaccinations, deworming, flea treatments etc) whilst struggling with money and then getting even more animals.... CRAZY !!

Anyway, I hope things work out and don't let him play with your emotions :hug:


Marlise

 

[drew692]

I dont normally comment on things like this, but I am because this is a subject I'm involved in too, as my partner has a child from a previous relationship so Im the other side of the coin.

The guy in question here shouldn't be emotionally black mailing you, and his partner should be a little more understanding, but at the end of the day, apart from the child your are both parents to, its not really your problem.

But I would like to say my partner regilously makes his payments and deals with the CSA for his child. He pays a substantial amount (what I would consider a monthly wage for caring for a child) which leaves him with the minimum to get by (CSA arent interested if he couldn't afford to eat).

The mother of his child has since gone on to have 3 further children with another parnter. Recently they moved to a bigger house, they have new cars and constantly go on holiday, this does become a little grating when my partner cant afford things like a brand new car!

Next thing, my partner and I dont live together, and wouldnt even consider getting married as my earnings would then also come into play, and the child would get more whether they needed it or not.

We dont argue about it, we can't change it, nor would we want to, its right that he does pays for his child, we get on with it.

So you see not everything in life is as black and white as it seems, and I do think there are a lot of partners like mine who do pay and pay on time, and they do get a rather b*m deal by the media and a small manority.

We all have a past and it got us to where we are today.

 

[Coppertop]

Drew 692 as far as i know they do not not take into account the parteners earnings.
They don't in our case anyway so if anybody knows different please let me know.

 

[drew692]

Well Mandy, I may be wrong, but as far as I know they can. (Also happend with my brother and his ex-partner). So if anyone else knows otherwise, I'd like to know too please

 

[Coppertop]

The rules changed around 2002/2003 time and when we put in a claim we were told that they wouldn't even look into her husbands earnings.
We were told that we would get £2.50 a week from her cos she was on a benefit and it didn't matter how much he was earning. Go figure.

 

[drew692]

I stand corrected with regard to rule changes, but my partners child is 11 years old, therefore his case started long before August 2003, therefore my income would come into consideration.

 

[Coppertop]

I stand corrected with regard to rule changes, but my partners child is 11 years old, therefore his case started long before August 2003, therefore my income would come into consideration.

I'm not sure if this was one of the rule changes i just know that they told us his earning wouldn't be counted.
:hug: