Don't know what to do

[Chezzababy]

Hello everyone, just wondering if I could offload to you. Was away this weekend to Belfast, what a lovely place, anyway, my partner drinks every weekend so this weekend was no different.

Am so sick of how he is, he is drunk all the time, can be very nasty. He is younger than me and think this is part of the problem. His priorities are all wrong, he needs to grow up. Thinking of having a break for a while but he won't leave.

I have 3 kids to think about, it's not fair on them.

 

[lucyboo]

At the end of the day you need to do what's right for you & your children x
Ask yourself a, is he ever going to change the way he is?? B, can you sit him down & talk to him about the way his behaviour is affecting you & the kids??
Hugs for you xx

 

[Chezzababy]

At the end of the day you need to do what's right for you & your children x
Ask yourself a, is he ever going to change the way he is?? B, can you sit him down & talk to him about the way his behaviour is affecting you & the kids??
Hugs for you xx

We have talked about the way it makes us all feel. I lived with my grandparents because my mum use to drink all the time. He knows how I feel about it, his answer, get use to it because am not changing. I want more out of life, want to do more with my kids. Am left at the weekend with them while he gets drunk and sleeps.

Think I will tell him today I need space. To be honest he isn't the person I fell in love with.


x

 

[lila22]

We have talked about the way it makes us all feel. I lived with my grandparents because my mum use to drink all the time. He knows how I feel about it, his answer, get use to it because am not changing. I want more out of life, want to do more with my kids. Am left at the weekend with them while he gets drunk and sleeps.

Think I will tell him today I need space. To be honest he isn't the person I fell in love with.


x

His attitude says it all really! I don't think age is to blame as my daughters dad was 10 years older then me and I had same problem! I was forever calling the pub and arguing when he would stroll in the next day shouting and being horrible! I had to leave in the end as it became scary.
I just thought one day you get one go of life and I ain't wasting it on you!
That was 12 years ago, not seen him since but heard he is just the same. Some people can and will change but your partner sounds pretty stubborn and set in his ways, try and think can you really put up with this, you have three kids already do you really need another x x x

 

[Chezzababy]

His attitude says it all really! I don't think age is to blame as my daughters dad was 10 years older then me and I had same problem! I was forever calling the pub and arguing when he would stroll in the next day shouting and being horrible! I had to leave in the end as it became scary.
I just thought one day you get one go of life and I ain't wasting it on you!
That was 12 years ago, not seen him since but heard he is just the same. Some people can and will change but your partner sounds pretty stubborn and set in his ways, try and think can you really put up with this, you have three kids already do you really need another x x x

Sorry to hear of your bad experience. Just seems to be getting worse. He plays in a pipeband so he has a lot of competitions which to me is just a time to get drunk!

He got up asked if am still not happy with him?! Then told me to f**k off!! That's without a drink!

Thanx again lady's, I know when I read what you write, it's the way I feel, he has to go as he will never never change.

x

 

[lila22]

Sorry to hear of your bad experience. Just seems to be getting worse. He plays in a pipeband so he has a lot of competitions which to me is just a time to get drunk!

He got up asked if am still not happy with him?! Then told me to f**k off!! That's without a drink!

Thanx again lady's, I know when I read what you write, it's the way I feel, he has to go as he will never never change.

x

Only you can decide what is best but try and be strong :hug:xxx

 

[Nails<3]

Sorry to hear of your bad experience. Just seems to be getting worse. He plays in a pipeband so he has a lot of competitions which to me is just a time to get drunk!

He got up asked if am still not happy with him?! Then told me to f**k off!! That's without a drink!

Thanx again lady's, I know when I read what you write, it's the way I feel, he has to go as he will never never change.

x

Aww I think you already know what you wanted to do before posting on here. The amount of times I returned to my ex as he would be sorry and would change. He kicked me and our 3 month old daughter and my son out the house once when he was hungover. That was the breaking point for me, I never went back and never ever would. I met my other half and it was the best decision i made leaving that idiot behind!

Found out it wasn't just drink but drugs also and would never have my babies in that environment.

You have to do what is right not only for you but your children. Never let a man speak to you like that or treat you like crap. You are worth more. It may be hard at first as you will miss the person he used to be, but you will be fine.

Maybe If you have a break he might change and realise what he is putting Alcohol in front of or maybe not. Good luck x x

 

[VickiesBB]

Leave now why you have the strength to and workout what is right for you and your children. My dad used to be nasty when he was drunk and I don't have a great history with drinking bfs.

If he speaks to.you like that he does not respect you or love you so why do you deserve that?

You sound lovely and you deserve so much more.

I hope everything works out for the best for you xxxx

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[Chezzababy]

Thanx again, I know I can manage on my own I have done it before.

See what today brings, going to talk to him when he has sobered up!

xxx

 

[tanfastic]

I think you already answered your question, deep down you know what is right and it is never right to force your children to grow up in a home where alcohol is an issue. I grew up very Catholic where divorce was looked upon as a bad thing. I used to pray every day that my parents would divorce and when they eventually did I was 21. I asked my mum why she waited so long and she told they stayed together for me!!! If only she had done it sooner we would all have been a million times happier a lot sooner. So think of your children. Boyfriends come and go but your kids stay in your life forever and I am sure you would want them to have happy memories of their childhood and see their mum treated with respect

Good luck

 

[tonicj]

Thanx again, I know I can manage on my own I have done it before.

See what today brings, going to talk to him when he has sobered up!

xxx

There is only one word to describe your situation and that is unacceptable! Don't want to sound horrible, but if he is treating you this way it is because he can! You said earlier that he has told you that he is not changing. Well, the next step is to tell him that if he's not prepared to change, then you are. By putting up with this behaviour, you are giving him power over your life, the power to make you feel down and depressed. The relationship he is having at the moment is not with you i'm afraid, its with the bottle. So stop wasting time on this person and put yourself and kids first, because he sure isn't!! Ask yourself, how many times you have talked to him before? The situation may have changed for a short time, but look where it is now - back to where you started and this is where it will continue to go. You will be having the same conversation with him year after year, so take action and tell him to separate from the bottle or you WILL be separating from him!!! Good luck

 

[Chezzababy]

Spoke to him he started laughing at me, told him choose me and the kids or drink.

He went away to work, then I start getting the sorry txt! I can't be done with it anymore, he is out tonight!


Thanx again ladies I know deep down but makes it easier when you see and hear the things you are thinking.


xxxx

 

[Leely]

He sounds just like my Biological dad. When my mum and he were together that's all he done was drink his wage away, we were always sat waiting for him to sober up and never had family time. He was 15 years older than my mum.
He had also been married twice before he had a relationship with my mum. Drink was the reason they both broke down.
My mum finally left him after he got drunk and beat her and me, I was only 4. He saw me maybe 3 or 4 times after they has split up. He always put drink before his family.
A year later after my mum left him she met my step dad and they have been together ever since so nearly 25 years I class him as my dad as he has brought me up since a young age.
Kids remember a lot, even if you think they don't see it. They always have a way.
You'll know the right thing to do

Stay strong xx

 

[Tracyjayne]

Wow u actually sound like me in the same situation only difference is I only have 2 kids sorry can't give any advice but have a hug xx

 

[Fabtans]

Wow u actually sound like me in the same situation only difference is I only have 2 kids sorry can't give any advice but have a hug xx

Horrible time for you, but takes a braver person to walk than to stay in your situation if he will never change. You will also be the mum your children deserve (not saying your a bad mum at all), but you will be not be yourself whilst so unhappy and living in such discontentment.
All the best x

 

[Tomme]

There are women's aid's out there who can give you professional help and go through everything at your side so check them out online for one near to you.

You've pointed out to him his bad sides, but really people are who they are, nothing can change people, only themselves. We all thought my cousin would be fighting on the roads until he was 90 yet when he met his now wife, he stopped because she had a baby girl, he took on the responsibility. he still fights, but in professional rings and his payment goes to charity.
If he hadnt woken up as realised his life altered the day you got pregnant ten nothing will make that happen, ad dot try to force it, all you will do is get yourself down ad this will reflect in your children.

Get on the phone for professional advice. Even Samaritans will help point you where you need if your struggling to find women's aid in your area. But think of your and your kids well being and mind first before this man xoxo

 

[McKendrick22]

Really sorry to hear what your going through and hope you get it sorted out.

I also hope you had a really great weekend in belfast, I hope the band done well? My boyfriend pipes so I was there this weekend too lol and you're right most people just see the competitions as an excuse to drink!

Vicki xx

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[Chezzababy]

Really sorry to hear what your going through and hope you get it sorted out.

I also hope you had a really great weekend in belfast, I hope the band done well? My boyfriend pipes so I was there this weekend too lol and you're right most people just see the competitions as an excuse to drink!

Vicki xx

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Yeah they done ok. It would have been great if he wasn't so drunk!

Don't often get the time away.


xxx

 

[McKendrick22]

Yeah they done ok. It would have been great if he wasn't so drunk!

Don't often get the time away.


xxx

Aw that's a shame it was spoilt for you as the competitions are always such great days/weekends away. I had to let mines off this weekend since they are now European champions for grade 2!

Vicki xx

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[Chezzababy]

Aw that's a shame it was spoilt for you as the competitions are always such great days/weekends away. I had to let mines off this weekend since they are now European champions for grade 2!

Vicki xx

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My other half is in grade 2.

He just can't handle his drink and gets very aggressive! He is like this every weekend am so sick of it.

xxx