How old were you when you had your first baby?

[marcellajx]

I had just turned 21, always said I'd wait until late 20's but I think if I waited for 'the right time' I'd never of had kids.
he's my world though, as hard work as it is. he's my best friend and he saved my life in a way, sounds cheesy but he has .

 

[LilCheekyMonkey]

I've always known that I wanted kids young. I watched my aunty at 47 have my 6 year old cousin and struggle to run around with her and enjoy her. My mum had me at around 25 and has tried to push me away from having kids young.

Personally, I'm just waiting to build my client base before we start trying! It'll give us some extra income and a chance to earn more money once we have kids. Fingers crossed this time next year we maybe pregnant! Scary but very exciting at the same time.

 

[tigerlil]

I had mine at 17,19,23,24,25,27,29,32 & 35. I wouldn't change a thing. My children have made me who I am today and still happy with my partner who feels the same. I'm 36 now so who knows, there may still be time for another bundle of joy

One Love

Wow! That is great!

Gonna change the topic slightly and ask how you have coped financially? We have a lovely lil boy and i would love to have 4 all together but our finances have taken a huge battering since he was born and cant imagine coping with more than 2 children. We had a lot of help buying the big bits like pram/ cot and buy secondhand stuff as much as poss but still struggle.

Xx


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[abi326]

I have 4 kids it's hard financially
Everything we get is second hand clothes and toys buggies ect
And we live a very simple life but would not change it for the world.
The kids have each other I see how close they all are that for me is more important than anything else.

 

[lynn amber]

Off topic slightly, does anyone think of the physical impact on the planet when having several or any children, I do worry that there are too many of us on the planet and we need to cut back a bit so there is something left for the future generations, just my thoughts, alway like to hear people opinion on this

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[virtues2011]

Off topic slightly, does anyone think of the physical impact on the planet when having several or any children, I do worry that there are too many of us on the planet and we need to cut back a bit so there is something left for the future generations, just my thoughts, alway like to hear people opinion on this

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Not so much worrying about the planet. They say this is why disasters happen to remove people however believe what you like with that. Ha ha. I'm thinking more on the lines of who's going to support them? how can you give them a good start in life? Do the older kids look after the younger ones? These poor kids don't ask to be born. Do they ever get to go on holiday? How can you provide clothes, computers to help learn, driving lessons? You could never afford it. .. I'm not a great believer in love will help you through. ... love doesn't pay the bills unfortunately so I suppose I contribute to most people's brood of children! !! Please forgive me here and this is not a personal attack but what enjoyment does anyone get from second hand clothes, toys, etc and being financially compromised continually...I suppose this is what makes us all different but I couldn't do it.

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[lynn amber]

Not so much worrying about the planet. They say this is why disasters happen to remove people however believe what you like with that. Ha ha. I'm thinking more on the lines of who's going to support them? how can you give them a good start in life? Do the older kids look after the younger ones? These poor kids don't ask to be born. Do they ever get to go on holiday? How can you provide clothes, computers to help learn, driving lessons? You could never afford it. .. I'm not a great believer in love will help you through. ... love doesn't pay the bills unfortunately so I suppose I contribute to most people's brood of children! !! Please forgive me here and this is not a personal attack but what enjoyment does anyone get from second hand clothes, toys, etc and being financially compromised continually...I suppose this is what makes us all different but I couldn't do it.

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Yes I agree with this too, I don't have any kids as im not a 100% sure if I can do them justice ,but I will say people need to stay humble and there is no shame in second hand clothes etc

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[Missy1213]

There was a lady once who asked me why I was having my 3rd. Have I not thought of the fact we are over populated. I was offended but I think it was her delivery I was offended by the most.
But never did I think of this.
I won't have anymore children if I know I cannot support them not because of the planet.

 

[marie hilton]

Never felt ready until last year (aged 28) been trying for over a year now, no joy x

 

[Fifibugz]

Never felt ready until last year (aged 28) been trying for over a year now, no joy x

Oh Hun 😓 have you spoken to your GP?

I had my first when I'd just turned 30! Had to meet the right man. But have always wanted children. I'll be turning 32 in a couple of months and hoping to start trying for No.2 in the next few months!
X

 

[Empress Debbie]

I do not base my life around money. Obviously it is needed to pay bills etc, but we do not live beyond our means. As a Rasta woman, raising 9 Rasta children, we lead a simplistic lifestyle. Love does go a long way (well within my home it does), and my children have never suffered because we are a larger than average family. Because of our Livity, my children appreciate what they have, and do not take their luxuries (computer,laptop etc) for granted. If money is what some people are waiting for to start a family, you will be waiting a long time!

My children have had the best start in life, love, peace, happiness, health. Beautiful human beings, with hearts of gold with love and knowledge to share.

One Love

 

[virtues2011]

Yes I agree with this too, I don't have any kids as im not a 100% sure if I can do them justice ,but I will say people need to stay humble and there is no shame in second hand clothes etc

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This is where you see the divides of working class, middle class etc. It's life. You will always hear those that have no money say the same things ' money doesn't buy you happiness' ' I'm happy how I am' ' Love means more' ... they would say that... they have very little to compare it to.

I don't believe it is about being humble. We all make our own choices in life and pay the consequences of them. I'm probably the most down to earth person you will meet but I work hard and have a very different out look on most people as to where I wanted to be in life. I'm not a dreamer who hopes one day they would win the lottery. Everyone is different here and for me personally I am quite selfish, children take a lot of hard work, time, patience and money something that I wasn't prepared to sacrifice so hence only the one.

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[abi326]

Yes I agree with this too, I don't have any kids as im not a 100% sure if I can do them justice ,but I will say people need to stay humble and there is no shame in second hand clothes etc

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My mother is a highly professional successful lady who raised us on second hand clothes and furniture I just love bargains and it sits better with me I would rather spend money on a good education.

 

[virtues2011]

My children have had the best start in life, love, peace, happiness, health. Beautiful human beings, with hearts of gold with love and knowledge to share.

One Love

.... but i still financially support your nine children?


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[Elaine Armani]

I kind of agree with virtues, but I guess I have two different views on this, I grew up in an extremely loving family and my parents tried their hardest to provide everything for us, I always attended to the school trips, camps and etc. and then suddenly my dad was diagnosed with mental illness which limited his ability to work which meant that I couldn't participate in the activities all the other kids my age did.
This eventually resulted me into leaving school in year 9 and began my apprenticeship in hair, I was doing what I love but I was also no longer relying on my parents to support me financially. Sometimes I do wish I completed school and got a degree and etc but I couldn't be happier with what I have achieved career wise. On the other hand my 18 year old brother was and still is depressed from the age of 13 and wants to make music as a career but financially cannot afford the equipment.
What I'm trying to say is that money definitely doesn't buy you a good family and friends, health and love but it most certainly takes a weight off your shoulders financially, it gives you comfort and you won't need to stress about paying for your children's needs and courses. Whatever it is. A child needs to know that there parents can financially support them to help them out with course fees if they ever decided that school and uni wasn't for them.
As I've said above the thought of having children scares me and I doubt I will have any anytime soon but if I were to bring a child into this world I will make sure that I am 100% capable financially.
A child should never feel the money stress in a house hold and that is what I felt when I was younger.
So yes you do need to be financially stable to raise a child.
xxx

 

[Empress Debbie]

.... but i still financially support your nine children?


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My husband and I both work. We are both self employed and claim no benefits. You tell me how you pay for our 9 children?

 

[Empress Debbie]

And to add to my previous post. I never once mentioned we are poor, can't eat or afford to clothe our children. I said we do not base our life on materialistics that so many crave. We pay our bills, keep a roof over our heads and put food in our bellies. Other non essential items come if and when needed.

One Love

 

[virtues2011]

My husband and I both work. We are both self employed and claim no benefits. You tell me how you pay for our 9 children?

Through my taxes that pay people's benefits! .... there are not many people that have nine children and work. To be fair there are not many people that have one child and work. It is easier to sit and wait for the weekly BACS payment from the Government to arrive.

So is this where the older children actually become parents and look after the younger ones. Some thing has to give somewhere. I'm not convinced at the moment that it is all peace love and fairy dust.

And as an addition what do you class an non essentials. . How would you be able to travel abroad, provide school trips to each of them. After school clubs. Days out with their friends. ... and the other millions of other things that are normal for parents with one or two children.



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[hazeleyes]

Also we all get child benefit right? Even if we do work! Every child gets at very least £13 a week! Unless earning a huge amount most ppl are entitled!

The more kids we have, the more the tax payer pays, this is not a personal judgement on anyone, as I have two kids and would like a third one day and i have at short periods in my life claimed benefits, although I work now at times in the past I've needed to call on the system and why the hell shouldn't i? I pay my taxes, I contribute! The system is a good one when it's not abused. What is annoying is that regardless how many kids WE individually have, we all pay the same amount of tax. Me with two kids pays the same than mrs A next door who has 10 kids!

The reality is there are families with 9 children who gross near to hundreds of thousands a year salary just off the benefits system! There are those 9 children families who are living in 10 bedrooms houses in Kensington and Chelsea, rent paid and already planning baby number 10 to avoid having to sign on to jobseekers and pretend to seek meaningful work!

 

[Empress Debbie]

Also we all get child benefit right? Even if we do work! Every child gets at very least £13 a week! Unless earning a huge amount most ppl are entitled!

The more kids we have, the more the tax payer pays, this is not a personal judgement on anyone, as I have two kids and would like a third one day and i have at short periods in my life claimed benefits, although I work now at times in the past I've needed to call on the system and why the hell shouldn't i? I pay my taxes, I contribute! The system is a good one when it's not abused. What is annoying is that regardless how many kids WE individually have, we all pay the same amount of tax. Me with two kids pays the same than mrs A next door who has 10 kids!

The reality is there are families with 9 children who gross near to hundreds of thousands a year salary just off the benefits system! There are those 9 children families who are living in 10 bedrooms houses in Kensington and Chelsea, rent paid and already planning baby number 10 to avoid having to sign on to jobseekers and pretend to seek meaningful work!

Well I'm happy to say I am not one of those people. Yes I get child benefit for 8 of my children, as my eldest is in higher education, but I would never deliberately sponge off the state. We do not live in a mansion, we actually live in a 3br semi detached and using the dining room as a 4th bedroom. Have done for the past 6 years. We have never expected anything to be handed on a plate and pay our taxes like everyone else.

What's turned into someone asking about a good age to have a baby, has now turned into taxpayer, I pay for your kids, housing etc BS. Perhaps in future it's best to stay on topic, as these comments help no one..

Jah Love