Moving Abroad!!??

[sarahmarie]

Good afternoon Ladies and Gents!
I hope everyone is well?!

Now, I know that this decision is to be made solely by myself, but I would however still appreciate any advice if you wouldn’t mind!

Ok, just to bore you all – I am 26 in April, STILL live with my wonderful, perfect parents who have ALWAYS been fantastic and supporting etc etc… :hug:

BUT, anyway… life is too short to waste, and the days/years are just simply flying by and I feel that I am just going nowhere, well, actually feel like I’m going backwards when I should be moving upwards and onwards :cry:

Feel that all I do is work (I am a full time Executive PA again now, since August ‘08), eat and sleep…

Me and my fella simply just chill in, (or go cinema/out for a meal/drink occasionally) We don’t really have too much excitement together at all!
We didn’t have a holiday last year due to lack of money… etc etc!!

I have not a penny savings, every single month my wages go in, my overdraft is maxed, I get massive bank charges every time I get paid, and I pay out about £750 MONTHLY, just on my debts/petrol/board which basically maintains the vicious circle due to me always being up to or over my overdraft limit… :cry:

My friends pay much less than me despite having their own homes!!

I LOVE my fella soooo so so so much, but we don’t really do much – he goes out more with his mates than me!!.. :cry:

We will have been together 2 years this June, but again, I feel like we have not progressed in the slightest... (we can’t afford our own home/marriage etc etc)..
And with him being only 21, I feel that he may just be happy ‘living it up’ with his mates for a while yet… :cry:

SO SORRY to ramble, but I just wanted to give a clear picture before I move onto the main point!!…

I have an opportunity – a WONDERFUL opportunity to work as a Beauty Therapist/Nail Technician in Oman – Middle East

The package includes paid shared accommodation/paid bills/paid travel to and from accommodation & the salon/paid Visa/paid flights!!

The monthly pay is tax free, and I would finally be able to get some savings behind me whilst out there – (2 year contract)

I could sell my lovely car, pay off the car finance, and cancel the car insurance

I would therefore save about £150 petrol monthly, £185 car finance monthly, £65 car insurance monthly, and £80 board monthly…

Meaning that although the monthly income from the new job would be less, I would have waaaaay less money worries, as I would simply have just £190 consolidation loan to keep paying, and a phone bill and food :idea:

I know I am going into waaay too much detail about my personal finances etc, (SORRY!) but I just wanted to talk to some new people about it (in the same profession etc… and also stress my financial dilemma- at my age!!! Grrrr!..)

If I was single, there is NO doubt in my mind, in the slightest that I would grab the chance right now, and do it!!

The life experience would be fab, and I don’t want to be looking back saying that I never did anything, and never enjoyed life as I should… I do treasure life so much, and want to do more!!

My fella is a bricklayer – a great one – but he doesn’t have the official papers, as he didn’t complete his college course years ago, so I very much doubt that he could find work out there to come with me – and if he did, he would then have to find separate accommodation to me, which is more expense – and he is always skint like me!!

It is also a big thing to ask him to come out with me too, as him and his mates are a VERY close bunch and so I am sure he wouldn’t want to leave his life behind for a year or two….

As much as I cannot wait to have them, I have no children yet, and so now maybe my last chance to do things like this..

Ooooohh, what to do!!?? :irked:

So sorry for boring you all, and thank you so so much for reading!! :hug: :hug:

Much, much appreciated guys!! :hug:

Sarah xxxxxx

 

[Martigirl]

Being a relatively "old bird" of 42 my advice is look at your signature! It says it all, your relationship can survive if that's what you both want xxxx

hth's:hug:

 

[ValencianNails]

Being a relatively "old bird" of 42 my advice is look at your signature! It says it all, your relationship can survive if that's what you both want

I totally agree :green:

You only live once sweetheart, grab this opportunity with both hands and have fun while you're doing something you love, earning good money and sunning yourself on your days off!

 

[bubbabinks]

Go for it hun, opportunities like this don't come up often and it will mean when you're ready to settle down you will have savings behind you.xx

 

[oldgaltherapist]

Hi

This could be a long one so hold onto your hats!

I read with interest this exciting challenge that has come your way and being slightly older than Martgirl I have to say life goes way to quick and regrets are something we all live with at some point.

I think you know what you want to do - what have you to lose? relationships if meant to be will be. To be boring I have been with my husband for 26 years and he was in the army and was constantly away, we only saw each other 3 times a year for a few days each before married.

To have this on your CV would be stupendous and not only that maybe there could be more opportunity to go into management and so on and so on........

You are young still and you know what even if that is not perfectly right it could be the start to try other things in other areas of this big world of ours.

You are allowed to try things and if they are not right ....... so what!
So go girl and give it a go.

HTH:hug:

 

[ch4rli3]

I say GO 4 IT!!!!! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!!!

I know exactly how you feel with the money situation, My bf works full time and I work part time, we have a 15 month old son.

We live in our overdraft and each month get right to the bottom - to the point where like I am now, cannot withdraw any money until I get paid!!! :cry:

I am only 23 and I have not experienced life to the full extent as having a baby at 21 kinda put a holt on my expectations of what I wanted to do.

Although I do not regret anything - my son is the most important thing in the world to me!, I think you should take this opportunity and do it. Ur still young and have plenty of time to settle down. If you and your BF are meant to be, it will be........

Good Luck x

 

[TIPTOP]

I agree, go for it!! like your signature says Life's not a dress rehersal, you have plenty of time to settle down and have kids, live life and enjoy!!

Good Luck hun
Sue x x

 

[IbizaNails09]

As you can see from my name I moved to Ibiza to work as a nail and beauty technician. I live here all year round and not just for the summer! I went through exactly the same thought process as your going through and eventually i concluded that you only live once and if it doesn't work out you can always go back to the UK, it's not going anywhere and if people love you they won't either!
I have learned so much about myself and have had such a blast moving abroad and meeting different people from all over the world!
I say go for it, otherwise you'll always wonder if the grass is greener, however everyone is different so think about your future in both situations and you will know which is right for you,
Good luck!!
xx

 

[sarahmarie]

Thank you all sooooooooooooo much guys for your great responses!

You have all left such valid, useful comments

Apologies for the delay... I am on this checking it all the time at work you see, and my Boss's office is behind, but I now have chance to sit and write my reply properly! :lol: :lol:

I am going to have a GOOD conversation with Nick about it all tonight (my fella) :hug:

Will keep you posted!!

Thanks again

xxxxx

 

[gemsie1983]

OMG go for it!!!!!!!! If you don't you will regret it forever!

It seems like a lot of people our age are in the same situation moneywise its quite shocking really!

Good luck with what you decide :lol:

ps can I come?

 

[suzie49]

Yep, grab it with both hands hun...xxxx

 

[Sassy Hassy]

If this is going to help your finances then it is a great opportunity and it's only for 2 years, or longer if it works out.

However the advice I would give to anyone thinking of moving abroad is that all your other problems come with you. Never look as moving abroad as an escape from your problems! The biggest one around here is a last ditch attempt at people trying to save their marriages, and of course it never works!

Also living abroad is not one long holiday, it's a place to work and live just as your home country. It often brings many frustrations in the way the systems work. Also the country you are going to is a muslim country and you will have to respect their religious traditions ie no alcohol, and as a woman probably wearing a veil and not being able to drive. All of these things should be considered, but probably more so for a long term move such as emigrating.

... and of course homesickness can hit you very badly at times.

None of this may be applicable to you but could be things for othr people in the same situation to consider.

... oh and people kept telling me how brave I was to move here alone. At the time I didn't think I was, but actually I was!!!!

Good luck :hug:

 

[Lynne Baker]

Interesting!
OK, I think it's a good career move, but there are a couple of things to consider. You say that you're always overdrawn and that you pay a lot of bank charges. If you earn more money the chances are, given your history, that you're going to spend all of it, and be in no better a financial position than you are now. I think you need to exercise a little self discipline otherwise you could find yourself a long way from home and little in the way of a parental safety net.
Secondly - your boyfriend needs to get himself back to college and get qualified. The time will come (and very soon in my opinion) when employers can pick and choose between staff. And you know, if he's up against someone who's got similar experience but they've got that bit of paper too, who are they going to choose?
At 21 he's wayyyyy too young to get married, and at this stage in your life don't let a relationship hold you back. You will come to resent it, and the chap in question.

 

[sarahmarie]

Interesting!
OK, I think it's a good career move, but there are a couple of things to consider. You say that you're always overdrawn and that you pay a lot of bank charges. If you earn more money the chances are, given your history, that you're going to spend all of it, and be in no better a financial position than you are now. I think you need to exercise a little self discipline otherwise you could find yourself a long way from home and little in the way of a parental safety net.
Secondly - your boyfriend needs to get himself back to college and get qualified. The time will come (and very soon in my opinion) when employers can pick and choose between staff. And you know, if he's up against someone who's got similar experience but they've got that bit of paper too, who are they going to choose?
At 21 he's wayyyyy too young to get married, and at this stage in your life don't let a relationship hold you back. You will come to resent it, and the chap in question.

Self dicipline is not the issue here - my compulsary outgoings are the reason for my lack or money, and then obviously every-day life costs money too...

I also didn't say that I want him to marry me NOW - I am looking to the future

I would'nt be spending more over there, as I'd be working 6 long days a week, and would have alot of 'free' things to do out there in the nice weather..

Have read up on Oman, and women are very much equal there.. Wouldn't necessarily have to 'cover up' and I would obviously respect the alcohol laws...

There is certainly alot to think deeply about...

xxx

 

[Lynne Baker]

Have you ever been to Oman/Middle East? It's not exactly a low maintenance place to live!

 

[geeg]

You can network with allot of people out there such as Alex Fox editor of SCRATCH magazine and Kirsten also a geek who has gone out to that area to live. They are enjoying it immensely and I don't think find the place too restrictive. Alex would be GLAD to talk to you about it being so involved in the industry there.

Now I am old enough to be your mother so I am going to say to you as if to my own daughter.

Do this while you have the opportunity. You seem to understand your boyfriend pretty well and that he is younger than you etc and it doesn't seem to be a threat to you. Many people get on their feet by moving abroad and simplifying their life.

As for Sassy's comments :lol: ... no way was she alone when she moved to Spain. She had enormous backing and help and lived with ME for a good part of the time plus various others .. she was by no means alone and has had loads of help from lots of people ... short memory there I think.

I can help you with contacts such as Alex Fox and don't be frightened to contact her through the site here, because she is a very caring and kind person and would be more than delighted to help or advise. I introduced Kirsten to Alex under the same circumstances and they are now firm friends.

If you don't change what you are doing .. you'll only get what you've got. (fave expression of mine) All the very best of luck to you. :hug:

 

[sarahmarie]

You can network with allot of people out there such as Alex Fox editor of SCRATCH magazine and Kirsten also a geek who has gone out to that area to live. They are enjoying it immensely and I don't think find the place too restrictive. Alex would be GLAD to talk to you about it being so involved in the industry there.

Now I am old enough to be your mother so I am going to say to you as if to my own daughter.

Do this while you have the opportunity. You seem to understand your boyfriend pretty well and that he is younger than you etc and it doesn't seem to be a threat to you. Many people get on their feet by moving abroad and simplifying their life.

As for Sassy's comments :lol: ... no way was she alone when she moved to Spain. She had enormous backing and help and lived with ME for a good part of the time plus various others .. she was by no means alone and has had loads of help from lots of people ... short memory there I think.

I can help you with contacts such as Alex Fox and don't be frightened to contact her through the site here, because she is a very caring and kind person and would be more than delighted to help or advise. I introduced Kirsten to Alex under the same circumstances and they are now firm friends.

If you don't change what you are doing .. you'll only get what you've got. (fave expression of mine) All the very best of luck to you. :hug:

Geeg, thank you ever so much for that!! :hug:

I was hoping for a response from you!!

Wow - I could be immensely happy out there too!! Ha!

I will DEFINITELY PM Alex - I am sure she has answers to certain culture questions that I have, so thanks for the referral!!

Thank you loads EVERYBODY for all your advice!!!

xxxxxxxx :hug:

 

[fifitrix]

Hi there, I would say go for it. I moved abroad when I was younger to Cyprus and just loved the experience. I have absolutely no regrets about going and made some wonderful friends. I wasn't doing nails at the time, I was a veterinary nurse.

Now that I am married and have kids, I sometimes look at these jobs that are advertised for nail techs abroad and have a wee sigh to myself, not that I would ever change my family or what I have got.

Some fantastic advice from Gigi there, well worth following.

Good luck with what you decide to do. :hug:

 

[minnieb]

After moving from Canada to the UK to live, (on my own, young, without knowing a soul, not much money, etc, etc.) and since things have worked out amazingly for me here, I'd love to just say go for it but in all honesty, you should take plenty of time and think everything through. My father is from the Middle East (not Oman so things might be different there) and I've been many times to visit family and even after going so many times, it's a real culture shock. Women are treated differently than men. Period. That is the way of the culture and personally, I find it quite difficult to accept! I don't understand why even at places like Starbucks' women need to order from separate counters from men and then drink their coffee in curtained off areas. I don't consider myself a feminist or anything but I could give a million and one examples like this that would make it very difficult for me (and a lot of my friends) to live there full time. The weather is great, but what's the point in having great weather if you can't walk around in a tank top, for example? This being said, you should try to (as Geeg has suggested) make contact with other 'western women' that are already living in the area that you'd be moving to, to get the best advice from them. I don't mean to sound harsh and it might be a great experience for you, just follow your heart...everything works out in the end! Please let us know what u decide...

 

[skymark]

You have had some great responses from the geeks here.

I have moved abroad temporarily I think a total of 3 times now, once to Canada for a year and twice to the USA (am considering doing it again in the coming year).

I think from your post, that you have shown an extremely mature attitude in that you are seeing the benefits of making such a move and being very realistic about your relationship. You have plenty of time when you are older and probably a mother to feel like you don't have much control over life lol, so I think you should seriously look at this opportunity as something you can do on your own steam, to enrich not just your CV, but your life experience.

It would be hard work obviously, but i'm sure that wouldn't be a big problem for you.

Personally I have always come back from moving overseas further enriched and so always recommend it but only for people like yourself who look at it realistically and don't think they are going on a holiday for a year lol.