Needed: Advice / Shoulder to cry on / Sympathetic ear....

[Miss_Biscuit]

Hi all,

Had the worst experience last night and just feel like jacking this whole nail malarky in.... :sad:

Sorry, but this is a long one.

I passed my Creative L&P foundation last Sept, and have since been on a half days nail surgery with Kelly Swain to improve on certain areas (Application and Shaping mainly.) which was great, it really helped me and I said that I would deffo do another one in the next month or two as I need to improve shed loads still.

I work full time, in a stressful job and as a result of that I decided to stop doing nails as evening appointments as not only would I still be there at 10pm by the time it takes me to get to a clients house and set up etc.. Plus I take ages still, but I was also finding that by doing evening appt's I wouldn't get time to eat, so come the time to apply the L&P my hands were shaking with low blood sugar where I haven't eaten in say 6-7 hours.

So I have just been doing the odd set of nails at weekends only only say 1 or 2 clients every 2 weeks, which suits me as I am doing this for practice at the mo and not to pay the bills! Plus I am exhausted by the weekend anyway.

On Sunday just gone I was meant to be doing infills for a girl who is a regular and whom I normally see every two weeks, we are actually workmates as well as client and tech... So we normally have a good old gossip and the time I take doesn't seem so bad as we are chatting.

Anyway she rang me on Sunday and said that she has slept-in and it had thrown her day completely out and was there ANY chance I could do her one evening in the week, I said that I would do them on the Monday (Yesterday.) but as a one-off as I don't do evenings.

Then yesterday I had the most awful day at work, felt really stressed when I left the office (Plus I have a lot on my mind at the mo with my new house having just had a gas leak discovered, so I've no hot water or heating and the seller knew about it but didn't declare it, so I've gotta find £2k for a new boiler system.).. When I got round to her house, she knew the stuff I had on my plate and said how much she appreciated me changing her appt.. It started off fine.

But then it started to all go wrong, when I sat down I realised it wasn't going to be a quick infill but a full rebalance as she had missed her last appt and it had been a month.. That didn't bother me at all, I half expected it, but she had broken one thumbnail quite badly and needed it soaking off and replacing, which meant I had to do the other thumb as she had real flowers in them (And I had no flowers on me.) so they needed to match.

But as it was only mentioned to me that they needed infilling I didn't have any soak off dishes with me and we had to improvise with lids from aerosol! (Proffessional huh?) So that slowed things down...

But then the worst thing was that I obviously had the door open for ventilation.. But the weather had started to turn and the L&P would just not behave itself, it was not setting and by the time I had managed to get the mix ratio correct to compensate the damage was done time-wise... Plus they didn't looks as good as they could have done as a result.

The door being open meant I had the cold air on my back, and after sitting there for 3.5 hours my back and neck started to kill me...(I suffer from neck problems anyway.) I started apologising too much for the amount of time it was taking me and how much filing and shaping I was having to do after the L&P had FINALLY set, to which she said in a really sweet way not to worry and not get upset....

And that was it! As soon as she said not to get upset my eyes started filling up.. :cry: .. She could not see this as I had my head down, but when she was talking to me and I replied I could not disguise in my voice that I was upset.. So she started being sympathetic which made me worse.

In the end I pulled myself together and finished the nails off, they looked no where near as good as last time I did them and I felt a cheek letting her pay me. She said they were fine and looked better then they did. I said that I will go round on Saturday and tidy them up (For free.) when I have a clearer head.

She was so sweet and said not to worry, but as soon as I got in my car I cried and cried and cried, I was aching, hungry, tired, stressed, had PMT, felt disppointed in myself and felt utterly worthless...

I was still sobbing when I got home and said to my husband that I am crap at being a supposed Nail Tech.

I feel a complete tit for crying in front of a client, what must she think? Luckily she is a workmate, but even so I was so unprofessional.

I just don't know how mobile techs cope, spesh those who like me hold down a day-job.... I think I should cut my losses and sell my kit... Unless anyone has got anything constructive to say or some advice.

Thanks for "listening"... Sorry to ramble.

Miss B. x

 

[lotus blossom]

poor you! i really felt for you reading that. is ther no way you can work less in you rfull time job? i know the answer is probably no as i too work fulltime and it is hard to then turn into "super nail tech!" you just sound like you are having one of those times where everything that can go wrong will go wrong. dont whatever you do give up you will regret it in the end. dont worry about crying in front of your client it shows we r human too!!!! please dont give up you will get ther in the end you just need to give yourself a break and dont expect or try to be superwoman it doesnt work!!! have a restxx

 

[Ohio Nail Tech]

Oh honey, don't give up!

You definitely need a break and the only one who can give you one is...you.

We are all much too hard on ourselves as newer techs, taking on more than we know we can handle and it was very nice of you to offer to do her nails in the evening even though you knew you'd be tired and such. I'm sure her nails didn't look half as bad as you thought! I know it contributed to your emotional state, but thank goodness your client was sympathetic.

Give yourself a little rest and learn to say no, even when you want to say yes, to that occasional evening appt.

If you have a little disposable income, I think a great massage will really help put you right!!

Things will improve, so don't go selling your kit just yet!

 

[Urban Geek]

Oh honey, don't be too hard on yourself. I think the reason you got upset was not just because you weren't pleased with the nails you did but because so much is going on at the moment for you. If you can't cut the hours/days down that you work, how about committing yourself to doing at least to practice nails on the nail trainer in the evening. I am sure this would help you. Don't be in too much of a rush to be the great technician you want to be. I know I was last year, my first year in the nail industry. We all have days when we feel like crumbling but DON'T YOU DARE! You care too much and obviously have a passion for nails that all great technicians have. Take a deep breath, think of all the positives. I am sure you're client will understand, particularly if you offer her a complementary service to compensate for what you (not her) thinks was a poor job. I am sure that big black cloud will lift soon. Dust yourself off and practice, practice, practice. Everyone gets those big black clouds now'n'then - not just nail technicians. I am sure the Greats on this site will vouch that they have off days too. Cheer up and big hugs xxx

 

[jac extreme]

DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN, WE ALL FEEL LIKE THAT AT SOME POINT, COULD YOU NOT GET A JOB IN A SALON, SO YOU CAN STILL EARN A WAGE, WHILE YOU GAIN EXPERIENCE.:hug:

 

[pmason]

Oh I know just what you mean, I had a day like that a couple of weeks ago but after I posted a thread about it and got lots of lovely encouraging replies, I did feel a lot better. Like the other geeks said to me, you have to learn to say no to appointments that you know will ultimately wear you out to have to stick to. I did three girls in a row with nothing to eat or drink from 7 in the morning (on my other jobs) to 8 in the evening. Like you, I had PMT (lol!) and could have cried for days after that fiasco - but since then I've done a friends nails and my sisters and I don't think I'm as crap as I thought I was after all!!


Dont' give up hun, have a hug :hug: and a couple of glasses of wine tonight!!

 

[angel fingers]

perk up love, things will seem better soon. get out your training hand and have a few goes on that before you do your next client.sometimes we all get days when we dont perform as well as we want.you seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment, i'm sure your work will get back on track when you have cleared your head a bit.

 

[Kim Lawless]

Oh my Gawd !!! I feel like crying with you.

Well here's my tuppence worth. In future, only work when it suits you so that you're not hungry, tired etc. Some people are good at night and others are morning people.

This lady sounds nice enough but lets keep it real, she should have told you to what extent her nails needed 'doing'. So, dry your tears me little darlin' and in future, remember who calls the shots......YOU. I don't even wanna ask what you charged her coz I can imagine.

Yeah, we all wanna be loved and liked but there's an old East End saying, "It's better to be known as a bastard than a silly bastard. Think about it.

 

[Bagpuss]

Hiya miss b

I really feel for you...my goodness no wounder you are stressed with the amount of stuff you have going on...sometimes life is such an uphill struggle but then it sorts itself out. I had a poo night last night also so trust me your not alone...your client/work friend sounds lovely...for trying to make you feel better.

I really wouldn't make any rash decisions at this moment in time, cos of everything thats going on you may regret your decision at a later date. Just do nails when your in the mood for now...just until your house is all sorted....i promise you things will get better.

Do you like your job....what is it you do.....i know money is the root and all but if your job makes you feel like this on a regular basis...then you should leave...life is too short and i would hate to think you felt like this all the time. Can you do your job at another company...same job yes..but different surroundings and faces may help.

When was the last time you had YOU time...can you take a day off...don't stay at home though...go for swim or spend the day with a mate. You sound like you need some TLC ... sorry i cant be of much help...but i am thinking of you and i totally understand where you are coming from. xxxxxx:hug:

 

[Sara Satchell]

I havn't read all the other reply's so forgive if I repeat stuff!

YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN!!!!

It sounds like you have too way much on your plate at the moment. Sometimes there's nothing we can do about it - which ever way we look at it - we just can not lessen the load - therefore it's very important to take a step back once in a while and try and distance yourself from things:take a hot bath, have 20 mins quiet time, watch a movie, go for a drink, have a sleep - tiredness and stress make us into physical and emotional wrecks!!

Your client is obviously understanding of your situation and im sure she doesn't think you're unprofessional at all. Next time you see her, just explain if it makes you feel better.

Why not "practice" on family/friends for now - don't charge then you won't feel bad about taking your time etc. When things in your live have settled (i.e. the new house etc) then start up again. Have SET days/evenings when you will be organised and only do nails on those times.

I hope you feel better soon. If I was you, I'd get an early night, have a sick day tommorow - sleep in - "organise" your head, have some pamper time and i'll bet you'll feel a whole lot better.

Im just coming to the end a several months of counselling (for various things - but also for anxiety). It's a great idea to write everything down on a peice of paper that you are worrying about - include EVERYTHING - no matter how trivial you may think it is. Then don't allow yourself to think about it. Every couple of days - look at it - assess the situation - have things changed? Are you still worried about the same things? What can you do practically to change things? Then put it away again....

I know I've waffled a bit - sorry - but I hope at least some of this helps!

:Love:

 

[Noodle]

Have a hug or two :hug: :hug: ... sounds like you could do with some of these right now.

Rome wasn't built in a day ... take a deep breath along with a little "time out" ... we all get days like these.

 

[Christine G]

Life can be cruel at times eh? Good advice from everyone out there,,,,,,,,,,,,,,don't you dare give it all in,,and by no means go round on Saturday and do them again for FREE., your time is valuable enough to you without giving it away.
You have had a grotty time, and in some shape or form we've all been there,,,,,,treat the next day as a comletely new start, as things generally seem a bit better after a good sleep. PMT, got a lot to answer for hasn't it? (roll on the menopause!!!!),,,,,,,,,don't blokes get an easy time?,,,apart from when they have to put up with OUR PMT !!

Let us all know how you are,

Christine.

 

[Miss_Biscuit]

Honestly, you guys are so amazing... :Love: You are so kind and not cussing me down as some neurotic, unprofessional tech (At least not to my face!) but instead, besides all the sympathy and stories of similar situations, you have also given me some great advice.

• With respect to the massage that was suggested, I have a full back and neck massage every two weeks at the moment to help alleviate the stress caused by my day job.. But great suggestion as it does help and I would recommend it to stressed tech's out there!
• The idea of getting "Bob" out to train on on the odd evening is a great one, I think when I am on my early shift week I might just do that... At least I can take breaks and get used to different room temperatures and adjustinfg mix-ratio's.
• My job.. I work in a technical job in IT. Computers. Someone suggested working for a salon, but I think I would end up taking a pay drop of about £9k - £12k if I did... Then again I could be wrong.. How much DO they get paid?
• Yes, you are right I will have to learn how to say no...
• How much did I charge?.... You're right you don't wanna know.. Works out less than the min wage, put it that way! Then again I am only charging to cover my products and petrol, not charging for my time on what I am asking for.

Again, thanks for all your help.. I am not normally a quitter... I am just so stressed I feel like I could explode!

I love this site and love you lot.. I am gonna try and stick it out, though I don't see MUCH improvement from when I did my foundation.

Miss B. x

 

[Rose143]

Hi Miss Biscuit,

I really feel for you hun, I am mobile and work full time too but I had to learn to leave work at work and when I get home I have a cup of tea and come on here for a good old bitching session (normally about my bumpy path through life) or just to chill out!!! You need to teach yourself to relax and take a break. I know it's not easy but YOU HAVE TO!!

I do alot of cooking on a sunday and pack my dinners in foil containers and freeze them for the following week and on the day just pop them in the oven for about 45mins or so and set the timer and stick the veggies in the steamer. By them time I get home from my client, the dinner is still warm being in a foil container and I don't nee to worry about lifting a finger!!!!! You have no idea what a difference this makes. I do this for evenings I have clients.

Sweetheart, don't worry about crying in front of her, it will only happen once and it's over with and because she works with you she knows the pressure you're under. Don't give up, you deserve better than that!!!

I really hope everything works out for you hun!!!! :hug:

xxxxx

 

[Mrs Geek]

Dear Miss Cookie ; if I had been you I would have done the same thing... cry. :cry: :cry: !!

I think you need a break!
I think you need to sit down and reassess certain things!
I think you need a hug and I think you need to know that all is NOT lost!

You did a great job the first time, you can still do a great job!
What is more important to you, being happy and earning less? being unhappy, stressed and earning more?
Who's to say that when you are fully up and running you won't be making GREAT MONEY???
Be positive! I really feel for you :hug:

 

[Martigirl]

The encouragement and time to listen that the people on this site take for others is incredible. I am so glad that I stumbled across such a welcoming place. I too am struggling through my course and think I am crap sometimes but the advice and tips on this site is wonderful.
Hope you feel better soon

 

[talontastic]

Chin up babe. :hug:

You just proved you're HUMAN. And you obviously CARE! Nothing wrong with that. Chill, it will get better.

I too couldnt live without this great site.

Julie

 

[Miss_Biscuit]

Hey everyone,

Again thanks for all your kind words and excellent advice. :Love:

Funny that a few of you said to have a break as I have actually been out of town for a couple of days, staying with a friend I had not seen in a while in the Midlands as we both had tickets to go to a gig in Wolverhampton on Wednesday, so we had the time off work, went to the gig..

Had a really good time and when I got back home in the early afternoon yesterday I went and did my mother-in-laws infills.. They too were a month since I last saw them, but she told me she had broken one, so I knew in advance and took one of those pinkie pots that sits on the finger so I could make a start on the others... She didn't have ANY lifting (First time ever for me!) and it only took me and hour and a half, compared to my three and a half hour nightmare on Monday!

Though I think it was to do with the fact that she just had natural overlays and oval shaped rather than my skill. (As they are a lot easier to do than the P&W / Square's that I did on Monday.)

SO I came away feeling a lot better, am back in my day job today and feel a bit more relaxed as it's FRIDAAAAY!

I am on a 4pm finish in my day job next week so I will try and do some stuff on the Nail Trainer.

Oh and the house stuff is out of my hands now, the solictor has written to the sellers to say that they knew about the gas leak and tried to hide the fact and that he wants some money from them for us, and I have also l lodged a formal complaint and claim with the surveyors as they did not pick up gas leak.. So, two irons in the fire, neither may not come to a good result, but at least I will have tried.

Thanks a million ladies, you lot are the best!

Miss B. xx

 

[Bagpuss]

Ahhhh...Miss B...thats great news....glad you are feeling better. xxxx

 

[vodkababe]

Aaaaw...... Miss B!!!!!

Sorry hun, I've only just seen this - have a hug :hug: - I'm glad you're feeling more positive today...

Everyone has (as usual!) given such good advice, I can't really add anything except to say...

...listen up! Don't ever doubt your abilities as a nail tech! You and I trained together - and I KNOW you can produce great nails, even on yourself - which is something I don't think I'll ever be able to master, lol!

Best of luck with the house problems - I'm sure that if your gas problem predates your purchase you WILL get somewhere with your claim

Hope the next 90 mins flies by for you - crap-free! - and that you have a great weekend!

Luv

Lulu
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