Pervy personal trainer or not?

tanfastic

Active Member
#1
Hi Geeks,

I did a pedi today at a regular and when we started chatting she told me that her daughter ( 17 years old and quite gorgeous, she is a lingerie and swimsuit model and I do her spray tans) has joined a local gym.

She requested a personal trainer and when the trainer called her back the mum ( today's client) thought he sounded a bit too " personal" he asked her age, body shape ( in great detail) etc which you would expect but then he asked about how good her six pack is, how lithe her legs are, how supple she is blah bla blah, mum thought it was a bit personal but we are a bit old might be too stuffy. Anyway the girl went to her first few appointments, he then invited her after the thrird out to his " church" ( he is 39, and probably no church, or OMG a Cult) and it ended up being a meal at Nandos and no church. He then tried to invite himself back to her home after a few drinks saying he will sleep on the sofa etc etc. She did not let him come over to stay, but he still keeps asking

Mum is adamant that he ought to be reported as he is still trying to make further " dates " with her ( but has not yet as she does not want to alienate her daughter), the girl would be mortified if her mum did this but I did tell the mum that she must remember Gym instructors get to touch parts of you that you would smack someone else if they tried, he gets to see her girl in very provocative positions when doing sit ups and push ups etc.

She is worried that her girl would feel that she has no faith in her and that her mum has betrayed the trust .

My question is WHO DO I REPORT THIS PERV TO and how do I do it
 
Last edited:

'chelle

Well-Known Member
#2
That's a complete abuse of power and trust and he needs reporting for her safety and the safety of all his other clients. Who does he work for? I would begin by speaking to whatever organisation he works for. It is worth ringing the police aswell on their non emergency number for advice though I'm unsure how much involvement they can offer because she's 17 and technically hasnt committed any crimes. Most importantly her mum needs to speak to her to make her aware that this behaviour is way out of order, a young impressionable girl could easily be flattered by this sort of attention from an older man, that's why creeps like that go for young impressionable girls!! Ring his employer, threaten to take it public etc, frighten them into taking some action against him. And find your clients daughter a new gym.
 

tanfastic

Active Member
#3
That's a complete abuse of power and trust and he needs reporting for her safety and the safety of all his other clients. Who does he work for? I would begin by speaking to whatever organisation he works for. It is worth ringing the police aswell on their non emergency number for advice though I'm unsure how much involvement they can offer because she's 17 and technically hasnt committed any crimes. Most importantly her mum needs to speak to her to make her aware that this behaviour is way out of order, a young impressionable girl could easily be flattered by this sort of attention from an older man, that's why creeps like that go for young impressionable girls!! Ring his employer, threaten to take it public etc, frighten them into taking some action against him. And find your clients daughter a new gym.
That is what I thought too, but the problem is that if you tell a youngster to stop doing something it becomes more tantalising, her mum has warned her and she is quite a clued up young lady but she seems to think he is being quite innocent.

I believe that she is not the first or the youngest so I may put in an anonymous complaint and hopefull the police will interview some of his previous clients. To to tell you the truth I am tempted to join the Gym, book him and offer him the "world on a plate " just to be able to give him an almighty smack in the gob. With my luck though he would turn me down as I am older than him. ( Twisted humour I know, bit I would love to see him squirm, PERVERT)
 
Last edited:

#4
That's a complete abuse of power and trust and he needs reporting for her safety and the safety of all his other clients. Who does he work for? I would begin by speaking to whatever organisation he works for. It is worth ringing the police aswell on their non emergency number for advice though I'm unsure how much involvement they can offer because she's 17 and technically hasnt committed any crimes. Most importantly her mum needs to speak to her to make her aware that this behaviour is way out of order, a young impressionable girl could easily be flattered by this sort of attention from an older man, that's why creeps like that go for young impressionable girls!! Ring his employer, threaten to take it public etc, frighten them into taking some action against him. And find your clients daughter a new gym.
Agree with all of this. This guy is way out of line. I would be phoning the employer straight away and I would make sure that my daughter knew this type of behaviour is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Next on my list would be getting her into a new gym.
 

#5
That is what I thought too, but the problem is that if you tell a youngster to stop doing something it becomes more tantalising, her mum has warned her and she is quite a clued up young lady but she seems to think he is being quite innocent.

I believe that she is not the first or the youngest so I may put in an anonymous complaint and hopefull the police will interview some of his previous clients. To to tell you the truth I am tempted to join the Gym, book him and offer him the "world on a plate " just to be able to give him an almighty smack in the gob. With my luck though he would turn me down as I am older than him. ( Twisted humour I know, bit I would love to see him squirm, PERVERT)
This is just wrong what he's trying to do! Report report report, not to his employer, to the police. His employer may "tip him off" before police are involved.
Maybe your plan is more fun though. I'd alter it to asking him to show me how to weight lift as when a heavy set is lifted while he's trying to impress with his body tickle his underarm so the bar drops on his face and smashes his skull xoxo
 

#6
What exactly is wrong? She is over 16...he's paying a girl attention... The girl is paying him attention! That's life
 

#7
Whilst yes he is being inappropriate and I'm sure your client is worried about her daughter I don't think it's actually your place to do anything. You are no relation to the daughter, I assume, and can only go in what you have been told third hand. Do you wonder if the 17 year old is as innocent in this as she makes out? Did you always tell your parents everything at 16? Maybe THAT'S why the daughter doesn't want her mother to report it and by you sticking your nose in (meant in the nicest possible way) you could causeore harm them good x
 

jacquelineanna

Well-Known Member
#8
I have to agree with the view of both Blue and the previous poster.

If the daughter has told all of this to the Mother and the Mother is not prepared to do the right thing (whatever that may be in this instance) then I really don't think you should involve yourself.

You have not one shred of proof to be calling him a perv on a public forum even though he can't be identified.

You run the risk of sounding slightly deranged yourself by wanting to join the gym to 'tempt' him into revealing his wicked ways. And you most certainly have never come across as deranged in any of your previous posts :wink2:

Neither yourself or the mother have any proof that the daughter is telling the whole truth, partial truth or whether it is a complete fabrication.

You really have no idea whether the mother is even telling the whole truth or if she has embellished it or even made it up herself.

Take the story, um and aah in the right places, and forget about it.

Peace and respect and a :hug: xx
 

Rinn

CND Shellac EA
#9
have to agree with the others ...stay out of it .
 
#10
I have to agree with the view of both Blue and the previous poster.

If the daughter has told all of this to the Mother and the Mother is not prepared to do the right thing (whatever that may be in this instance) then I really don't think you should involve yourself.

You have not one shred of proof to be calling him a perv on a public forum even though he can't be identified.

You run the risk of sounding slightly deranged yourself by wanting to join the gym to 'tempt' him into revealing his wicked ways. And you most certainly have never come across as deranged in any of your previous posts :wink2:

Neither yourself or the mother have any proof that the daughter is telling the whole truth, partial truth or whether it is a complete fabrication.

You really have no idea whether the mother is even telling the whole truth or if she has embellished it or even made it up herself.

Take the story, um and aah in the right places, and forget about it.

Peace and respect and a :hug: xx
Very well put, totally agree and with a few other posts. There may be more to it than meets the eye. Like someone said earlier did you tell your mum everything in detail when you was that age? I certainly didn't. I wouldn't get involved if maybe she was your sister but even then I would be careful and hold off.
 

fozzyo

Well-Known Member
#11
There are three sides to every story, yours, theirs and the truth.

The story is coming from a mum who doesn't want anyone to think of their baby sexually. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the situation isn't as bad as told.

Part of a personal trainers job is to make you feel good ... And in a lot of cases they flirt with their clients - I would disappointed if they didn't with me.

This is a situation you have been told about and are putting yourself in a very precarious position getting involved!

Think very carefully about the consequences.
 

gillian w

Well-Known Member
#12
He's 39 and she's seventeen and as a mum I wouldn't be happy about that at all but I also wouldn't want my daughter to be a lingerie model at seventeen I just wouldn't, to my mind its too young.
As others have said its not really any of your business though.She shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place and if she does feel threatened in anyway then she needs to stop training with him.
 
Last edited:

#13
He's 39 and she's seventeen and as a mum I wouldn't be happy about that at all but I also wouldn't want my daughter to be a lingerie model at seventeen I just wouldn't, to my mind its too young.
As others have said its not really any of your business though.She shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place and if she does feel threatened in anyway then she needs to stop training with him.
My 17 year old cousin married a 34 year old..still together 10 years layer. Don't assume
 

Melk

Member
#14
I was 19 with a 40 yr old but this isn't about age difference it's about professionalism, as a professional he shouldn't have done what has been described. As a massage professional my code of ethics is pretty clear. I can date a client but as soon as that happens they can no longer be a client. Not sure on uk standards. I'd be wary on doing anything in this instance as it's hearsay. But would advise mum to take it further as it's not normal behavior for a professional.
 

#15
"Anyway the girl went to her first few appointments, he then invited her after the thrird out to his " church" ( he is 39, and probably no church, or OMG a Cult) and it ended up being a meal at Nandos and no church."

My 3 older kids and all their friends refer to nandos as "church" (because they all go every sunday, cooked meal at home or not!) So this may be a "generational" term?

IMO if the girl is old enough to model as you say, and as she has told her mother about the situation, I doubt if the daughter is concerned about the trainer's behaviour. Yes, it may seem unprofessional, and yes, he is a lot older, but I am sure, in her industry, she cannot be niave enough to have not learnt how to deal with (what you describe as) "pervs".

Just my opinion, but I would leave well alone although I know you are only thinking of her welfare xxxx If the situation makes her feel awkward at any time, then she just finds another trainer, after, of course, reporting his behaviour to his employer. The Police will NOT be interested (I work for them) because he has done nothing wrong at this time.

ps I think his original questionning was totally justified - bit like a pre-consultation
 
Last edited by a moderator:

jacquelineanna

Well-Known Member
#16
My 17 year old cousin married a 34 year old..still together 10 years layer. Don't assume
It didn't seem that Gillian was assuming anything.

She was giving her entitled opinion to the OP's situation from her perspective as a mother.

She answered the original question which is what we are supposed to do and not by going off track and making it about something else.

Would be more interested to hear your view to the situation.

Peace and respect.
 

Lolly22

Active Member
#17
I agree I don't think it's your business. As has been said above you don't know the whole story. Only the parts the girl chooses to tell her mum and who knows she might be enjoying all the attention and giving the guy signals that she actually likes him. I'm sure if she didn't a few words about telling management would be enough to put him off. If she felt so uncomfortable then she wouldn't go back would she?

I would just leave them to it, the daughter needs to make her own mistakes aswell.
 

#18
I definitely wouldn't be reporting the guy. These things happen - teenagers going out with older guys. There is no proof of him doing something wrong.
The girl might be enjoying the attention she is getting from an "older" guy.
I really wouldn't get involved as we don't know the truth.
 

#19
well i think he does sound a bit of a perv but that is just what he sounds like, I dont know the full story or truth and you do not either. I know its tempting but I would stay out of it too. X
 

#20
The mum has a 17 year old who is a swimsuit and lingerie model. And she thinks no one is going to perv on her daughter? The personal trainer invited her out and she still went didn't she? If she had no interest whats so ever she wouldn't have. Dont get involved id say. I wouldnt allow my daughter to model and then worry about perverts?!
 
Top