Week From Hell

[Sara Satchell]

Where do I start....

This has been the WORST week of my life for a long time. It all began on Monday...

Where I live, there are some privatley owned alleys out the back of the houses. It's a local gathering ground most nights for the "youth" of the village - where they hang around, tipping bins over, smearing sh*t over your cars, smoking, throwing stones into my yard (to annoy my dog) and generally making lots of noise. I've been out umpteen times before to tell them to move on - sometimes politley, sometimes not - you ALWAYS get a mouthful of abuse either way. Last time I had to go out they had been annoying Charlie (my dog) and I told them if they didn't stop i'd let him out and he'd bite them...

Anyhows - on Monday - there was about 10 of them out there - so I asked Ray (hubby) to go and move them on. Upon asking them to go somewhere else one of the lads (about 14) stepped up to him - blew smoke in his face and said "what you goin to do about it ya pussy?" at this Ray lost his rag and pushed the lad - who fell over backwards. Then followed alot of shouting and pushing and shoving - the other lads ganged around Ray - but I couldn't see clearly what exactly was happening. After a couple of mins, he came back in...we had words because I said he shouldn't have pushed the lad....He rang the police to explain what had happened, and to report the lads. The police said they would come by later..
About an hour later, a policeman knocked on the door, asked to speak to Ray... He wanted to "invite" him into the police station to give a statement as the lads had gone and dialled 999 and said that Charlie had bitten 3 of them. The police were only there because of the 999 call - not beause of our call! Ray is more than likely going to be charged with not being in control of a dangerous dog (you'd have to know my dog to know how ludicrous that is - I have 3 children, and would trust charlie with their lives - but yes he would bite if he was pushed enough, or to protect one of us) and Charlie may have to be destroyed. I cant allow this to happen - my children (and I) will be absolutley devastated. Im worried sick about what will happen to him and to Ray...

Then, on Wedensday night, we were travelling home and we past a really bad accident - someone had hit a tree, spun across the road and wrapped their car around a lampost. It had just happened - so we stopped to help...it was my brother in law. He was in very bad shock - but not hurt seriously - it's a miracle he wasnt dead. I know the outcome could have been alot worse but I can't stop thinking about it. For 30 seconds - when his car was spinning - he was sure that was it and he was going to die - and I can't get that out of my head. Life is so precious - you never know when your times up...
The thing is - he never normally wears a seatbelt - but that night he did and he said the seatbelt DEFINATLEY saved his life...Something good could come out of this if everyone reading this made sure they wore a belt every time they got into a car - no matter how short the journey..

Finally - I had a big row with Ben (my eldest son - 10) tonight. Him and Lucy (my daughter) had been physically fighting and he'd ended up biting her. I smacked him quite hard (something I very rarely do) because I was so cross - I hate biting. Now I feel like cr*p - I feel so guilty....I've talked to him and apologised, and explained why I got cross but I just feel unfit as a parent.

I know i'm on a real downer here - and i've waffled on and on - but I need to empty my head (if you know what I mean). Theres other stuff going on that I can't really discuss too - but all in all - most definatley my week from hell.

 

[Lellipop]

Oh Sara you poor thing you have had a run of it. Try to take things easy for a couple of days and do something nice to take your mind of it all.
I hope that Ray or poor Charlie don't get charged with anything, The trouble with some kids of that age is they have no respect for adults.
Take Care Babe xx

 

[scattyfox]

Sara Hun
go and pour yourself a large drink, you deserve it with a well like that.

hopefully the situation with your husband and the police will come to nothing, they should probably be aware of what these tearaways are like. the chances are that two different officers have been dealing with it and hopefully they will be able to get together and sort it out.

Kids will fight so dont worry about them and dont feel guitly (easy to say i know), at the moment you are under a great deal of stress and need their help and support, go and chat to them both and explain this when you have all calmed down.

In the meantime go and drink that large drink and know we are all hear to listen and support you as well
take care and hope it all works out.
x

 

[Noodle]

Sara, you really have had a rough time of it :sad:

As Lell says, take some time out this weekend and do something nice to cheer yourself up and to focus your mind elsewhere.

 

[angel.tips]

feel so bad for you. Would your neighbours be able to back you up about the youths ?

Hope things get better over the weekend xxxx

 

[nik]

got my fingers crossed for you sara hope everything sorts itself out.

 

[jac extreme]

Oh Sara,

How awful for you, sometimes life just seems **** doesn't it, but these kids I presume had no bite marks,what can you do ? go see a solicitor maybe ? but don't give up on Charlie, he sounds like he is worth fighting for, hes part of y
our family like your brother in law, just thank god he was OK and its not surprising that you and the kids are snapping at each other with whats going on, sit down have a glass of wine and try and think of all the positive things you have in your life - Hubby, kids, family friends etc and try to put things into perspective, Yes its all **** at the moment but things will change, they always do....
Try to be positive hun....

:Love: :hug:

 

[Mrs Geek]

Where do I start....all in all - most definatley my week from hell.

Dear Sarah - I haven't read all replies and knowing the caliber of women and men on this site - they will be heart warming and helpful. I will only say, that there are many of us who DO care how our kids behave - I don't care what anybody says, the odd smack on the hand/leg never hurt a child in the way punching etc does - that is not acceptable and should NEVER be tolerated - I would kill for my kids as you would! The occasional smack on the leg or the hand can work wonders for some and not for others - every child is different. Haydn is 12 and there are times when I could swing for him...

He and some of his mates were caught last week messing about outside his old school - they weren't doing anything bad but they were running around and they should not have been there. Since they were all at this junior school originally (and it's right next door to the house), the head recognised them and called us parents! I was upset with Haydn because even though he didn't DO anything wrong, he was with 2 others who were banging on windows and throwing mud (typical silly boy stuff) - I asked Haydn what he was going to do about this and HE made the decision to go and see Mrs Atkins (his ex head) and apologise in person. He did this (was the only one to do it) and she was so proud of him because that took guts!

Keep on being a firm but good mum that you are - they don't forget when it matters and he made me very proud the other day (even though he can be such a P in the A sometimes)!!!

If the kids hanging out behind your home had parents who had taught them to respect their elders and to listen and be polite - many of these situations would not occur. I hope with all my heart that Charlie stays with the family and that good - for once, prevails over bad!! NO, you are NOT a bad mum - you are a loving caring mum which is WHY you behaved in the way you did!! As I said, I haven't read any other replies but I bet they are saying something similar!

My love to you and the family! x

 

[Oceana]

Oh Sara bless you what a crappy week.....you have the support of us geekios and remember it can only get better!!

XX

 

[Christine G]

Sarah you certainly have been through it this week. Try not to get too worried about the police, you can bet your life they know only too well what these young lads are like, and if you were to talk to one of them out of work, I bet you they'd applaud your hubby for taking a stand.,,, as you said, they came round purely because there was a 999 call, they all have to be followed up. I hope that once they have written their report it goes to the bottom of the pile where it belongs and you will hear no more about it. Try to look at it this way, you and your hubby are obviously older and more mature than these layabouts, have no criminal record, and are good decent law abiding citizens, do you think they can say that about the boys?
They know who the trouble makers are.
Sincere wishes to you, your hubby, and your brother in law, ,,, I sometimes get a little lazy about wearing my seatbelt when I go to work as it's only a couple of miles away,,,this has brought it home to me how silly I am.
Remember, "tomorrows another day", all seems a bit brighter when youv'e had a sleep.


Take care,



Christine.

 

[Bagpuss]

i really feel for you, these kids (if thats what you can call them) what if they had harmed your fella, you never know these days what they are going to do, think of it this way, your fella isnt harmed...your brother in law was saved...your son loves you regardless, you sound like a wounderful person, and we will all be thinking of charlie and hoping he will be ok, but your tough and you will get through this. xxx

 

[Sparklepink]

Hi Sara
i tried to pm you this wee hug :hug:
just think next week it will all be different... much better
i hope ya have a coolio weekend to make up for ya bad week

Jess
xox

 

[JackieMc]

What a dreadful time you've had, I really feel for you and thank goodness your brother in law was ok.

As for those damn kids, you have my full sympathy. At my last house I was plagued by kids (I was at the bottom end of a cul de sac and useful for being used as a goal post), when they started running into my front garden causing chaos (and the dogs to go beserk every 5 minutes) I lost it and went out screaming! I grabbed one girl by the arm and told her to stay the **** away from my house. I called the Community Patrol (I worked in the Control Room and knew all the guys so they turned up pretty fast). When the Patrol spoke to the girl, she claimed I had hit her, luckily the Patrol didn't believe her and told her (quietly) that if they didn't stay away from my house he'd be the one doing the hitting and that he'd get her when she was least expecting it - scared the bejaysus out of the little scrote!

Unfortunately, these little b******s know we can't touch them - they cry assault and then we're in the wrong. You have no idea the times I have been tempted to buy a proper catapault and use it selectively! :twisted:

We had something similar here, a group of about 9 kids ranging between about 9 and 16 years old, they drive me mad by ringing on the doorbell half a dozen times a night. The dogs go mad and with me working from home it's damn embarrassing if I have a client here. I went out a couple of times and then Sean went out to ask them to go away - the bigger lads are standing there with what looked like planks of wood and wouldn't move, and only shuffled a little bit when Sean walked over. What can you do?? Sean only recognised one of the younger kids, and luckily it's a neighbour who would beat his son black and blue (we hope) so if he pesters us again, his dad's getting told!

I always think back to a man who was beaten to death not far from where I used to live, by a group of 14 year old he had gone out to, to ask them to keep quiet - and so I would certainly think twice before confronting a gang, even with a dog (my 2 make lots of noise but wouldn't bute), for a start, they could attack the dog - it happened on the seafront where I used to live (I make The Wirral sound like a warzone, it's actually very nice). Some guy was walking his dog and asked some kids to stop scaring the swans, they beat him up and killed his dog - in broad daylight! If Charlie gets away with it this time, don't ever get him involved in any other disputes like this because you can guarantee the spiteful little sh**s will try to hit you where it hurts and if that's having your dog locked up for years and/or eventually destroyed, then they'll do it.

Unfortunately, neanderthals like this seem to thrive on confrontation, so that's not the way to go about it, just keep calling the police (say they're exposing themselves to you rather than "they're being noisy", they'll be there a damn sight quicker), and don't look out the window so they know it's you who did it. They'll get bored eventually and find someone else to annoy.

If you have any friendly neighbours, you want to get them together as witnesses and say that the dog didn't bite the kids (or if there's bite marks, then they were attacking the dog/your husband etc. and he was protecting himself/your husband). You also want to make a counter accusation and press charges against the lads (again, if your neighbours will take part as 'witnessess'), I'm sure the police would rather believe members of a quiet neighbourhood rather than a group of scrotes who are probably already known to them.

I do hope everything works out ok for you. And get a catapault and some ball bearings!!! :twisted:

 

[JackieMc]

...And as for the smacking thing, I'm with Mrs Geek on this one, a smack when deserved isn't a bad thing, my mum used to slap me (damn hard, I might add :irked: ) on the back of my legs, stung like hell! She'd hold me by one hand (up in the air) and whallop the life outta my bare legs - gawd, so sore, and once, (and only once) I gave her cheek in front of my friends, she did it there and then in front of them, I was never so humiliated when I was a child! So there ya go parents, slap their bare legs for them in front of their buddies and make them look stupid - works a treat! LOL

Good on Haydn for apologising, Mrs Geek. You're obviously doing a good job!

 

[Sara Satchell]

Thank you all SO MUCH for your support....it moved me to tears.

Ray is supposed to hear from the police today, then he has to go in to the station and do his statement. Unfortunatley, our neighbours have moved out on both sides (we live in a row of 4 terraces, and all the houses have been empty for between 3/6 months now), and no other neighbours around heard or saw what happened. 3 of the 10 or so lads ARE known to the police - when I used to work in the local shop - I had to call the police many times as they used to shoplift. Ray asked the policeman what he should have done about it - and he said write down everytime that they make a nuisance of themselves, and after a while - report it to the police and they persue it . So it's OK for my kids to get no sleep for 3 months then? He also said that it was on their "to do" list to tackle the gangs around Helsby, but they couldn't be everywhere at once (conincidently - they are under investigation for sitting at the services drinking tea when they should be on duty - ALSO, they're always around to put a ticket for £60 on our car if we park the wrong way round outside our house)....It seems hopeless.

EVen if we do get an order to have Charlie put down I WONT let it happen. I know (and so does anyone who knows him) he's a good dog and wouldn't bite unless he had a very good reason. He was reallly upset that night and couldn't settle - he just paced the house panting. He's a collie cross spaniel, and he's 6 this year and a bit overweight - not the type of dog you'd expect to be a threat to the public.

Also I was doing GREAT with my diet...I've tried so hard to lose weight for about 7 years, and always found it imposible as I suffered with depression - and I comfort eat. Just recenlty my life has been so good - and I felt secure and comfortable and didn't really have any worries ( i've been off anti depressants for 2 1/2 years now) ....I really was into the diet thing! I'd lost 9 Lbs in my first 3 weeks - I know i'll have had a gain on Monday when I go and I'm finding it really hard to get back to it...

There I go again - intended to write a short reply....sorry :o
XX

 

[Glorsclaws]

Sara, :hug:
I really, really hope that over the next few days your life begins to settle back down a bit. I dont know why but, when the crap comes to town... it really seems to come from every angle doesnt it.
I have been where you now so I know how very low you must be feeling.
Hope your brother in law is ok... he was as you say so incredibly lucky.
Keeping my fingers crossed for Ray with the police.
:hug: to Charlie & your kids... and take care of yourself. :hug:

 

[Deb379]

Hi there

How awful for you and how frustrating.

There must be something you can do to get rid of these kids, try getting together with your neighbours and target your local mp, ring/write the police everyday and keep a note of times, dates etc, ring/write the council. Have a look at this site http://www.legislation.hmso.gov.uk/acts/acts2003/20030038.htm, may have some useful info.
Write formal letters of complaint to whoever is in charge of your local police station.
I think there was something in the news sometime ago about something similar, I think those that were being harassed kept diaries of what was happening, and even took videos (discreetly of course you don't want them spotting you) of those who were offending. The police often use the excuse without evidence they cannot take action, if you take videos or photos then they will have the evidence!
Good luck
Deb379

 

[Trace67]

Hi Sara, Sorry to hear about your terrible week. Chin up it will get better.
Regarding the yobs. Do you have a Neighbour hood manager were you live? If not get in touch with your local councilor. If you keep on to them they will get fed up and do something about it. We have had similar problems were I live and if you report them to the police every time they are there, they will soon get the messege. Also get a log number of the police every time you ring.
I have a friend who is a neighbourhood manager so if you need any more advice pm me.
Hope this is of some help :hug:

 

[Sassy Hassy]

It really is about time the law in this county protected the rights of the good people and not these yobs that harrass and make our lives a misery.

Sara you are such a lovely lady I hate to see you going through the mill. I had a really tough time in the salon recently and was feeling really **** . Kelly my 18 year old beauty therapist said try and feel how you will feel in a few weeks when this is all behind you, and that's what I did and it really worked. When you are feeling low it is so hard to think positively again.

Don't give those ******** the satisfaction that they have gotten to you because they will be laughing about it all while you worry your pants off. If their parents had disciplined them as you have done with your children then the world we live in would be a much safer place.

I hope next week brings some good news.:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[RedAdmiral]

Just read your story and I'm so annoyed at those kids!! I hope this month is a great month for you - you'll be Grand!

Sending over some Luck o' the Irish for you and when your feeling down remember all the kind words everyone has said cos its all true!