What would you have done ......

[Exquisite Touch]

On wednesday at around 6pm I had three clients in the salon and a young girl waiting for a trade test, when a woman (wont say a lady cos she defo wasnt one) stormed in, she has been in previously but ive ignored her and she has gone on her way. She is mentally ill.

She stood at my nail station screaming on top note how I was a f***** B**** and this was serious, I was like WHAT???? My ladies in the salon were terrified, she carried on effing and jeffing not shouting it but screaming it and becoming extremely violent. I Then Lost the Plot!!!! as she walked up to the girl for a trade test and got right in her face shouting are you effing laughing at me so that was it I got up screamed right back at her which made her stop for a minute and then all hell broke loose, so i grabbed her and chucked her out locked the door and one of the clients rang the community bobby, who sent someone round straight away. As now all we can see is a set of eyes just above the window frosting shouting im sorry let me in......
I couldnt help myself and set about laughing cos it were so funny just seeing these eyes at the window. Well she wouldnt give up would she so the bobbys came with the regular police and picked her up.

Maybe I shouldnt have reacted the way I did but it all happpened so quick. I had a lady booked in a for a massage at 6.30 I didnt get to do her til 7.45 luckily she understood the dilema I had been in and laughed about it.
The girl for the trade test is coming back on tuesday if she doesnt cos if that had happened to me NO WAY would I have gone back would you?

What would you have done in my situation?

 

[Marley's Ghost]

sounds like you were very restrained - under the circumstances I think you handled it pretty well, I certainly wouldn't have done anything different

 

[Tracey Roberts]

I would of done exactly the same thing, who knows ? she could of started damaging your salon, plus think of the potentionally dangerous items you may have ?, I would deffo of done the same, as for the trade test girl, if it was me, I'd go back.

I Just hope she doesn't come back, but I wouldn't be surprised if she does ? x

 

[kylieb]

Oh no what a nightmare that sounds. I would have threatened to call the police if she didn't leave but it's all well and good me saying what I would have done but until your there experiencing it for yourself then it's a whole completely different story.
I think you did the right thing by throwing her out of your shop! She could have been dangerous to your clients!
I hear lots of stories from my boyfriend about cranky people as there is a mental home just up the rd from his work. Some woman cam in,got her baps out and put them on his counter ha ha There are all sorts of crazy people out there!! xxx

 

[Beauty by Chell]

It sounds like you handled it ok hun, you stopped her in her tracks before things got to mental and got her out of the door with a minimum restraint, some people will say you should not of reacted but its hard to judge if you are not in that situation! xx

 

[lilly]

I think you handle it brilliantly, you must have bee scared. Mentle illness is a complicatied thing, I think you did right getting her out of the shop at that time, if she has a record of being violent you never know what she might have done.

Maybe because you called the police she can get the help that she obviously needs, which is great Well done you !X


Hey just noticed yhour from Bolton, we were camping there a couple of weeks ago, lovely town !X

 

[VHunter]

In all likelihood, I would have reacted the same. And please note: I find NO FAULT with your reaction.

But... those that are mentally ill... or whatever.. you just never know.
I have friends that work in the services for these types of people.
Also, I used to babysit an autistic teen that had a tendency for violent rages.
Usually, it's best to back off, talk to them calmly, not crowd them etc.. Placing your hands on her put you in further danger, since you didn't know to what end her rage would take her.
By all means, sure, protect your staff and clients BUT you shouldn't have put yourself at risk like that.

It likely would have been best to try to calmly invite her outside for a convo, or to another room away if possible until police arrived. Perhaps saying something along the lines "I'm so sorry that you're mad, perhaps we can step outside and talk about it?"
Worst case scenario; everyone can step outside. Usually, the enraged person follows because they're lost their audience.

Again, I find no fault in your reaction. It was an honest one. But would have been safer for your own person not to touch her.

:hug:

 

[VHunter]

Some links worth reading

How to Communicate With an Angry Person - wikiHow

How to handle an angry person

 

[Princessstacie]

I think you handled it very well, i probably would have poked her eyes out with the wrong end of my sculpting brush! Not very professional i know!!!! tut tut *slaps wrists* he he xx

 

[Exquisite Touch]

I understand mental illness my nephew is schizoprenic, at first i tried the calmly calmly, but she were prob frightened. I think she didnt take her meds hence the dramatic reaction, she has walked past today looked in and looked down so i think she knows she did wrong.
I reacted as i were so shocked she reacted this way and had to protect my clients and the girl who had come for the trade test as she acted particularly violent towards her so i had to grab her before she did owt to the girl as she had her face nose to nose with the girl.
thanks for your replies guys and victoria i totally understand where your coming from sweet x and no offence taken thanks for the links
it is hard to understand what they are thinking, and if they are hearing voices. They have no control over whats happening in there head and its a such a shame.
thanks again
Deb x

 

[VHunter]

Thanks for understanding and not taking offense. Sometimes when I answer.. I worry that I might be taken the wrong way when my opinion might differ..., and bash my head re-reading my post, to try to see it from another's point of view?

I can understand perfectly well why you reacted the way you did. As I said, I likely would have done same, though I 'should' know better LOL

hugs and crossing fingers you don't get anything of the sort again
:hug:

 

[Lellipop]

The lady is probably not well atm and will feel very embrassed about this incident when she is well again I think under the circumstances you did the right thing to remove her from your premises.
The only thing that struck a nerve with me was the fact that you stated in your first post that the woman is mentally ill and you laughed at her ,well she aint on her own so are 1 in 3 people.

 

[VHunter]

The lady is probably not well atm and will feel very embrassed about this incident when she is well again I think under the circumstances you did the right thing to remove her from your premises.
The only thing that struck a nerve with me was the fact that you stated in your first post that the woman is mentally ill well she aint on her own so are 1 in 3 people.

I don't think she meant anything negative by it, only mentioned it by way of explanation for the behaviour?
My aunt is in depression. My uncle whom I have never met, has been trapped in an 18yr old's mind for near 50yrs...and lives in a hospital. Everytime he looks in a mirror apparently, he becomes very confused and doesn't know who he's looking at.
I know several people who take meds to help them with their problems, and I didn't take it as a criticism?

:hug:

 

[Lellipop]

I don't think she meant anything negative by it, only mentioned it by way of explanation for the behaviour?
My aunt is in depression. My uncle whom I have never met, has been trapped in an 18yr old's mind for near 50yrs...and lives in a hospital. Everytime he looks in a mirror apparently, he becomes very confused and doesn't know who he's looking at.
I know several people who take meds to help them with their problems, and I didn't take it as a criticism?

:hug:

Victoria it was the fact that they were laughing that got my back up.

 

[minky]

Hi, given the fact that you had no time to even think about how to deal with this unexpected violent outburst by a person who was pretty unstable at the time,
I think you handled it very well indeed ,
also when we are thrown into situations like this
we can get very deeply shocked and scared and sometimes react in very strange ways ,
ways which we would never usually dream of acting eg.....like laughing inappropriatley and sometimes even hysterically
then as the shock and the reality of what just happened starts to set in we start shaking and sometimes laughing and crying too.:cry:

Shock can make us do some very strange and very out of character things that we wouldnt normally dream of doing,
I honestly believe this was not meant to hurt anyones feelings it was just a nervous reaction.

I would have been an absloute wreck after something like that
and still ruminating on what I should have! would have! could have done,
you did what your instincts told you to do , good job you had the keys to hand , well done :hug:

I am so glad that everyone was safe and everything turned out ok
for you all
I hope the lady gets the proper care and treatment she needs for the future!
I looked after a close relative with Bipolar and I must admit it was a long hard slog getting her help at first
she was hospitalised for nearly a year and got the help and long term meds that she needed

Ps. I would come back for the trade test ,
I hope the girl will too :hug: x minky

 

[VHunter]

we can get very deeply shocked and scared and sometimes react in very strange ways ,
ways which we would never usually dream of acting eg.....like laughing inappropriatley and sometimes even hysterically
then as the shock and the reality of what just happened starts to set in we start shaking and sometimes laughing and crying too.:cry:

Shock can make us do some very strange and very out of character things that we wouldnt normally dream of doing,
I honestly believe this was not meant to hurt anyones feelings it was just a nervous reaction.

I can understand why you'd be offended, but I'd have to agree with Minky as I'm exactly that kind of culprit.. it's happened to me when I've been caught by surprise.

Probably half of my clients and half of my friends are all taking something.
Heck, I just spent 2yrs nursing a friend through depression who one day, whacked off all her hair and when I approached to take the scissors from her.... well let's say... it was a tad scary for a moment, the look on her face... it was enough to make me step back (and not a great deal actually 'scares' me). A friend I've known 20yrs..


Hugs Lelli:hug:
I'm sure no one was laughing at her, but more at the shock and strangeness of it all.

 

[sknight]

I wasn't there so don't know but I know that I sometimes laugh at very inappropriate times and I can't stop it. Sometimes it's a nervous reaction and is really embarrassing as most people look at me as if I am a monster as it usually happens when someone falls and hurts themselves (totally different situation I know but thought i'd say).

I would have got her away from my staff and clients too, so I agree with the way you handled it. It's scary and you never know what people are capable of.

 

[cassi]

Hi the same thing has happened to me not in a salon but on the street in the next road to where I live there is a care home for patients with mental illness. there was a woman who would always shout at me as I passed here with my two young kids. " its not fair I want a baby" this used to frighten the life out of my children who are now 5 and 4 but one day as I passed her she shouted it and punched me in the back of the head. well I went mad I ran after her and screamed at her what the hell do you think you are doing you crazy bitch, she started to cry and said she was sorry. it was a heat of the moment thing for me but the shock of getting a sudden punch in the head my children crying with fright. anyway I went to the care home the staff were very nice and said I was within my rights to report her for assault, bit I didnt what would have been the point the proimed to keep an eye on her but I still see her wandering around the streets in her nightie but she never say's anything to me now.

Cassi

 

[Exquisite Touch]

hi ya hun,
we laughed after she had left the salon, she couldnt see in the windows are frosted. It was a shock thing we didnt know how to react.
Ive a nephew who is schrioprenic and a niece that is bi polar and I myself have suffered depression.
I can understand where your coming from but we didnt laugh in her face, I wouldnt do that to anyone.
thanks for your replys x

 

[Lellipop]

hi ya hun,
we laughed after she had left the salon, she couldnt see in the windows are frosted. It was a shock thing we didnt know how to react.
Ive a nephew who is schrioprenic and a niece that is bi polar and I myself have suffered depression.
I can understand where your coming from but we didnt laugh in her face, I wouldnt do that to anyone.
thanks for your replys x

Glad to hear that it wasnt in front of her and lets hope it doesn't happen again.