"Who's Your Bitch-Buddy?"


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Well-Known Member
Dec 19, 2006
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A friend who owns a salon sent this to me, and I just thought it was the greatest idea!! I sure as heck get bitchy!! And being in this industry you tend to listen to your clients problems and do nothing but be supportive and keep a smile on your face.. And its not always easy!!

I think every salon should have this Bitch-Buddy contract in place.

Have you ever had one of those days when you just didn't feel like being nice? Do you ever feel like this BE NICE thing is just a bunch of crap? Well, let me say, welcome to the human race.

Of course you'll have days when you don't feel like being nice. Everyone does. We all need time to process, whine, moan, and complain. It's a natural part of who we are. What's important, however, is that when you're having one of those days, you don't pollute everyone around you. Instead, you need a "bitch-buddy."

My friends and co-workers have used and practiced this system for many years. In fact, we're quite up-front about it. We call it our "Who's Your Bitch-Buddy?" system.

A bitch-buddy is someone you can gripe to—a nonjudgmental, confidential sounding board. A bitch-buddy is a person you can talk to when you feel bitter, mean, nasty, and ugly.

I've known my bitch-buddy, Dennis, since we were young children, and he's been my best friend for many, many years. At least once a week, I let Dennis know that I need a "session" with him—I need for him to be my listening, nonjudgmental ear as I download my latest thoughts, adventures, and struggles.

I've learned through past mistakes that if I were to whine and complain to friends or team members who perhaps didn't understand that I was just having an off day, they'd jump to all sorts of inaccurate conclusions: Uh-oh, Winn's depressed. I'd better warn everyone. The company must be in trouble. My paycheck is going to bounce. I'd better find a new job.

You might be thinking, Winn, why do you need a bitch-buddy so often? Please know that I'm not always whining and complaining in my sessions with Dennis. Most of the time, I just need a sounding board—I just need to hear my own voice speak my own thoughts. I don't want to gamble with the words I speak, so my bitch-buddy fits the bill. Bottom line, my sessions with Dennis are more about my growth than they are about negative complaining and drama.

Bitch-Buddy Guidelines

Here are some guidelines to help you partner with your bitch-buddy in the most productive and effective ways.

First, decide who your bitch-buddy could be. Choose wisely, because the role that this person plays in your life is as important as having a great therapist, coach, medical doctor, or financial advisor. Perhaps sharing my book BE NICE (OR ELSE!) with some of your friends and confidants, and then asking for their input and response, could help you find out who your bitch-buddy might be. Once you know, then the two of you "contract" with each other.

You and your bitch-buddy agree that:

* You only get one bitch-buddy to bitch to. If you make it a bad habit of bitching to more than one person, eventually half don't want to hear it and the other half think you deserve your problems.

* Your bitch-buddy isn't just for bitching. You must also share the news when things are going great.

* The bitch-buddy system goes both ways: You take turns and each be a buddy to the other.


How to Be a Bitch-Buddy

1. You must sit and LISTEN. Only give advice and input if they are requested.

2. You absolutely cannot use the information outside of the conversation in which it was shared. You cannot share it with other people, and you cannot bring it up with the person at another time.

3. The next day, the person who bitched to you will most likely be back to their wonderful, positive self. You cannot bring up the bitch session or information that was shared with you the previous day.

The bitch-buddy system works best when one person is bitching and one is supporting. The bitch session is not for matching wits, comparing stories, or having a who-had-the-worst-day competition.

My Bitch-Buddy Promise

* YES, I will be your bitch-buddy.

* You can complain, moan, whine, and bitch to me on those days when you need to get mean, nasty, and ugly.

* I promise not to judge or think less of you, because you need to express yourself.

* I promise that I will not do anything with the information you share.

* I promise that I will not repeat it to anyone.

* I promise that I will not give you advice or feedback unless you ask me to.

* I promise that I will not hold the information against you later.

* When you request a bitching session, I promise to hold back my personal complaints and woes for another bitching session at another time.

Got this from beniceorelse.com check it out.

While you're there get your self a copy of the book.
I have a bitch buddy, I'm sure you know who you are.....it's sooo helpful and a great release.....I can bitch and moan and then get over it!
I know I keep my mouth shut about a lot of things, and I tend to blow up at the wrong times.. And if I think of it this way I can't just say hold off a little longer and then go Bitch about it to your buddy!!
My husband is my bitch-buddy....poor guy :lol:
hmmm I find when I'm stressed I use my husband as a different kind of buddy (wink wink) works wonders for me
hmmm I find when I'm stressed I use my husband as a different kind of buddy (wink wink) works wonders for me

LOL I'm sure he just hate that!!:wink2:
My husband is my main 'bitch-buddy' and a mate we have a hell of a bitch about everything, I do her nails aswell, so it generally happens at the same time and a full set can take anywhere up to 5 hours, 3 bottles of wine are usually involved, I love it!!
My boyfriend is my bitch-buddy (bless him) and one of my friends i went to school with, i do her nails and it takes about 3hrs for rebalance... there is just no need!
yeah my hubby is my bitchy buddy too. lol no wonder he is going grey!
yeah my hubby is my bitchy buddy too. lol no wonder he is going grey!

my husband is also my bitch-buddy. No wonder he is going bald:eek::lol::lol:
my fella is my bitch too....:lol: xx
all sounds very school yard ....:rolleyes:
my fella is my bitch too....:lol: xx

Yah my fella is my bitch too!! lol But I try not to over do it with him so you doesn't go bald or grey!! So I tend to vent to my mom a lot, we are bitch buddies for sure!! I love my mom, and that is why I'm sure she's going grey, thats why I color her hair for her!!:wink2:
all sounds very school yard ....:rolleyes:

:lol: we're just talking about who we use to moan too...offload...bitch...whine...get it off ya chest....
all sounds very school yard ....:rolleyes:

think you may have missed the point hunny, its just a way to unload without upsetting anyone else or clients hun

its brill idea and think lots of us do it anyways xxxx
think you may have missed the point hunny, its just a way to unload without upsetting anyone else or clients hun

its brill idea and think lots of us do it anyways xxxx

I actually need it i guess! if i had to keep all the frustration for myself i would explode in the wrong place at the wrong time...
My husband needs to be my dr.Phil so i can think...maybe it,s not that bad and take a deep breath and relax:green:

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