Why is that diamond ring SO important?

[Biljana]

I belong to a few different forums, and well in every day life too I have noticed that women put a LOT of importance on getting that ring. Why does it mean so much to you?
I was there when I was 20 and I got a gorgeous (huge and sparkly) ring and was married a year later with bells and whistles galore, I divorced him 6 years later.
Personally, getting the ring proved to be of no importance, held No commitment value AND the wedding could have paid for half a house! I look around me and realize that most of the happiest couples I have ever met don't have any sort of formal paper stating they are married. I myself am very happy living common law, we are married (heart and head)I don't need the ring or paper. Well, he gave me a gorgeous diamond band for Christmas to wear on my wedding ring finger LOL He is a romantic and wants a wedding, one day I say, but a small gathering in our back yard.
All I am saying is this, the ring will not make your man any more commited than he is right now and from a practical approach the money spent on a big wedding can be put to better use. JMO

 

[Baggybear]

Not everyone thinks that the big ring is so important. There are many people who feel just as you do.

I got engaged, married & had kids when I was young and even then I didn't want a big ring. I wanted a ring but I told him it had to be a sensible price or I wouldn't wear it. My engagement ring cost £60 in 1996. Our wedding was not big & expensive either.

I'm no longer with him and am with someone else who I love more than I ever loved my ex-husband. We are not engaged, we don't plan to marry either. Our commitment was made to each other when we decided to have kids together - no peice of paper is ever going to tie us together more than having kids together will.

 

[squidgernetball]

The ring isn't important. I always thought the big declarations of love were important as well, but having seen friends whose partners are always phoning, declaring their love, but never showing it, I think again. I was formally proposed to in 1990, with permission requested from my dad and received a beautiful ring, and we have been very happily married now for 22 years - but it wasn't down to the ring lol!!!

 

[Yummy Mummy's]

I've got a huge rock on my finger ATM but about to throw the towel in

It means nothing, we had a baby together and sadly it's causing problems

I was never one for dreaming about bug weddings and rings or material things it was more his ego but proved to fail him

 

[Leely]

A ring is not important.... In my view.

My engagement ring was my mother in laws and my wedding ring £40 off a second hand stall. We also got married on the quiet and less than £400 for everything.

Where as one friend took out a £20k loan for hers which was 5 years ago and is still paying it off. Another friend is getting married in 2 weeks and has gone OTT on everything from having a camera crew there for the day over 200 people for the day and over 500 for the evening they are both working 2 jobs to pay for everything and both stressed.

Each to their own I suppose x


Leely

 

[izzidoll]

I think people get confused between a wedding and a marriage, and sadly some people seem to put more energy into the wedding

 

[NaomiP]

I don't have the biggest rock in the world and to be honest I wouldn't want to, getting it caught in people's hair would be no fun for them or me!
Everyone seems to be so materialistic these days, when my grandma and grandad got married (they're not old - 54 and 56) at 16 and 18 they had their wedding in a small registry office with just their parents, their reception was sandwiches with their parents at one of their parents houses and their honeymoon was a trip to skeggy for the weekend! Although my wedding won't be THAT minimal I find this so inspirational and shows what a marriage and a wedding are actually about - the couple! Okay you want everyone who attends to have a lovely time but us civilians are not the celebrities we see in magazines I would love for more modern day couples to back down the old fashioned route! Xx

 

[NaomiP]

I don't have the biggest rock in the world and to be honest I wouldn't want to, getting it caught in people's hair would be no fun for them or me!
Everyone seems to be so materialistic these days, when my grandma and grandad got married (they're not old - 54 and 56) at 16 and 18 they had their wedding in a small registry office with just their parents, their reception was sandwiches with their parents at one of their parents houses and their honeymoon was a trip to skeggy for the weekend! Although my wedding won't be THAT minimal I find this so inspirational and shows what a marriage and a wedding are actually about - the couple! Okay you want everyone who attends to have a lovely time but us civilians are not the celebrities we see in magazines I would love for more modern day couples to back down the old fashioned route! Xx

Not sure why two photos have attached..I didn't mean to attach either?! X

 

[Mobile Manicure]

At our wedding we had 10 people, including family at a registry office, 13 years ago. Then a pub lunch. My engagement ring is tiddly and to be honest I don't wear it, I just wear my wedding band. We have put our money to better use buying a lovely house in a nice area which will last a lot longer than a wedding day.

 

[Sarahjayne82]

I met my boyfriend on my 20th bday in a nightclub. My friend and his friend were snogging each others face off so we had no option to talk to each other, that was 11 years ago. The friends never saw each other again.
We aren't married or have any children (I don't feel old enough yet)
I was slightly obssesed with the ring, the wedding the whole shebang a few years ago, but I think it was down to friends and family doing the whole "you'll be next" line. So I thought i would be.
Now, I'm glad I didn't get a ring because it really doesn't bother me now. I just think why fix something that isn't broke.
Saying that if he asked me tomorrow I'd say yes!

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[FlawlessBeauty]

I want the ring...well, not necessarily the ring, lol, but everything that comes with it.

It doesn't have to be a huge fancy sparkler or anything, but i want a proposal and a wedding and so does my bf when the time's right.

I don't want a big, expensive, lavish wedding, but i do want a wedding.

I want to be able to declare our love and dedication to eachother in front of a few family and friends, in the eyes of God. I would love to be Mrs Bf. It feels right and complete to me and when we have a family, i want us all to have the same surname.

Maybe it's because i come from a large irish catholic family xx

 

[Tomtomrow]

My sister told her boyfriend the other day to get her an engagement car not a ring lol!

 

[Dexy]

After being divorced and with my new partner for 7 years , I've told him not to propose ever, purely and simply for the reason I don't want his mother as a mother in law

 

[mm29]

Ok il go against the grain, I love my rock I didn't pick my ring.

I believe it's traditional to be given a ring the same value as 1 months salary who knows if that's true,

It's just been valued for insurance purposes and I got a pleasant surprise!

It was an amazing gift and I will treasure it along with my wedding band and eternity ring.

The size if your diamond doesn't mean he loves you more or your marriage will work, some people are still traditional, get engaged, get married then a house then children. We seem to be in the minority these days.

 

[tonicj]

I guess first time round we girls want the perfect fairytale. For some of us second time round is more realistic xx

 

[lynn amber]

Well I have quite strong personal opinions on the subject,

first I think wedding are right for other people,

like going to a good wedding but never wanted to be a bride,

would never change my name and I don't believe it makes anyone more committed to there relationship if anything make a lot of people complacent,

This I just my vue on it so don't shout at me, but I think a lot of men feel pressured to propose when really it doesn't mean that much to them,

Im not religious ,i live in Scotland an wish common in law actually insisted,

in about 6 weeks time I will have been with my partner for 11 years and we have been though so much together alot of bad and have both nearly given it all up, but im am truly committed to this relationship and I will fight tooth and nail to keep it as long as at the end of the day we still love each other,

I probably get asked on a weekly biases if am married and why not and my answer in normally something like I don't need a peace of paper to tell me im committed to my relationship :-D

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[perfect10kb]

I don't think the ring is that important . It is just a symbol. having said that my wedding ring is VERY important to me

It was put on my finger at our wedding in church 33 years ago and has not been off my finger since - Honest

 

[miss_estrelita]

I don't need diamond ring, big wedding etc, but I like these old traditions, I want to call him as my husband not boyfriend after 10years together I want the same surname for all of us..
Other thing..here in UK it's different, but in my country if u r not married, u r nothing to him..u dont have any rights to decide anything, if smth bad happens for example..

 

[MrsHBeauty]

My ring was £69, that was 10 years ago.

I got married in the most wonderful venue. It usually costs around £10k for the wedding, wedding breakfast for 100 and evening do for 150 inc exclusive hire if the venue welcome drinks eve buffet, disco wine at the main meal etc we got it for 1/4 of that price but j tv had 4 weeks to do it all in!

It was an amazing day.

I was only 19 and most people thought it wouldn't last, but here I am & years later still married!

It is not friggin easy this last year has been a real struggle. I do not care about a ring. I barely wear my rings due to contact dermatitis anyway.

I love having the same name as my kids though, but that's more to do with not having the same surname as my mum, step dad and half sister growing up.


Jemima

 

[Lks]

Of course the ring isn't the most important thing, but I think people dream about their engagement ring because it definitely is something to dream about! For most people, it's the most expensive jewelry they'll ever own. You'll also be wearing 'til death do you part (or with a 50% divorce rate, until you divorce lol), and who doesn't like the white sparkle of a diamond? Diamonds can be truly beautiful and the ring setting is like the icing on the cake. I've had my ring for 5 years and I'm still enamored by it's beauty. I catch myself staring at my ring when the light hits it because it just so sparkly! lol

Maybe I sound vain, though I'm not, but you don't need to be vain to agree that diamonds are gorgeous. Don't they always catch your eye when you pass by the jewelry store?

Now, I think people should live within their means, meaning don't spend $10,000 on a ring and $100,000 on a wedding you can't afford and will be paying off for the next 10 yrs. That to me is a BIG no no. But if you can afford it, and you want it, then why not?

I know some people chose to have a small wedding because they would rather spend the money elsewhere, and I truly can understand that, but I'm also very traditional in my values and to me a wedding is a huge deal!! and therefore calls for a true celebration...a celebration of two souls coming together to become one, a celebration of a lifelong journey, a celebration of your love, of the lifelong commitment you are making. Your marriage isn't a piece of paper that states you are married...we all know it's pure insanity to reduce a marriage to such a meaningless object, but I do think the wedding ceremony cements and proclaims your commitment to each other in front of those in your world and the powers that be, and that your wedding band acts a symbol of that commitment.