?????

[Fingertips ND]

I want to ask a question and I want your honest opinions please.

When you first met your partner/husband did you fancy him straight away, did you think he was gorgeous?

Can you grow to fancy someone?

 

[Sassy Hassy]

This isn't anything related to BBQ man is it?!!!

I think you can do both, and from personal experience the love at first sight ones are the ones that tend to fizzle out once the passion has gone. Ones that are based on friendship tend to last the longest.

 

[Rose143]

When I met my partner I just knew we would end up together from day 1. I know it's hard to believe but I did fancy him from the first night we met, we were a blind date set up by my mother!! And we are still together 4 years later!!!

I don't believe in growing to love someone, if it's not there now it'll never be there, in my opinion, because growing to love someone could be confused with learning to respect someone and having alot of time for them.

xxxx

 

[Jen Smith]

I want to ask a question and I want your honest opinions please.

When you first met your partner/husband did you fancy him straight away, did you think he was gorgeous?

Can you grow to fancy someone?

Sure you can grow to fancy someone ... I fancy my hubby but I also love him, at first it was more of a friendship and once I got to know his personality and found out we had a lot in common the friendship blossomed into 'yeah' I fancy him then into being in love with him (over a 2 year period I might add). I never thought he was 'gorgeous' as looks didnt come into play in our relationship, however I do find him very attractive now.

I couldnt say I ever had that 'Pow' godda get your kit off feeling with him, but what I do have is good, great, secure, safe, affectionate and kind and they the most important feelings for me. I did 'Pow' when I was your age Vicki and it didnt get me too far appart from a very short marriage and a couple of broken relationships although a lot of fun while it lasted LOL!!

Just my experiences ... but while you are young you get all the fun and 'Pow' feelings you can hun .... its all part of the circle of life

 

[ValencianNails]

in all honesty?.... no I didn't fancy him straight away.
there are many things that contribute to 'fancying' someone, personality being the main one.
18 years later (16 years married) and we are stronger today than at any other point in our relationship.
We got engaged after 3 weeks !!!! loads of people told us it wouldn't last.
I think personally that it is something that grows with time. I'd never want anyone else to know me like my hubby knows me lol, he's my best friend, partner and lover.
You'll know when you find the right one

 

[Fingertips ND]

I am really picky when it comes to men!

I have had my fun - went away with the girls three years on the run, had a few one night stands, gone out clubbig every weekend, had a few serious relationships and now I want to settle.

The guy at the bbq has everything I look for in a guy except - I don't fancy him.

 

[Jen Smith]

The guy at the bbq has everything I look for in a guy except - I don't fancy him.

Did you have a lot of conversation with him? Did he make you laugh? Would you have anything in common? Three things that are necessary to let a relationship blossom ... did you enjoy his company at all?

 

[Fingertips ND]

Did you have a lot of conversation with him? Did he make you laugh? Would you have anything in common? Three things that are necessary to let a relationship blossom ... did you enjoy his company at all?

He never actually came to the bbq in the end as he said his phone battery died and he didn't get my message inviting him. He was actually telling the truth.

He was gutted when he found out we had had the party and he didn't get to come and see me.

He has text me everyday since and is still asking me out!

The night I met him at the wedding we got on ok.

 

[ValencianNails]

The guy at the bbq has everything I look for in a guy except - I don't fancy him. yet !!!

give it time hunny, you've been hurt, that will take time to heal.

what Jen said makes a lot of sense and is very true, a partner needs to be many things and have many qualities.
xxx

 

[Fingertips ND]

Is it not bad though if you don't look at him and think fwooaaarrr?

How can you then imagine being with this person.

 

[ValencianNails]

i look at him now (and have done for many years) and think 'fwooaaarrr' lol
but at the beginning... nope.
it isn't all about looks and stuff, well it isn't for me anyway, it's about the 'whole package'

 

[scattyfox]

Cor i wish id met you lot when i was younger. I always thought it was about how they look but ahve realised that is not teh case now. But do ahve to say I need that fancy spark with someone, i still fancy my husband he has got teh fittest buns lol, but i dont always like him lol
x

i look at him now (and have done for many years) and think 'fwooaaarrr' lol
but at the beginning... nope.
it isn't all about looks and stuff, well it isn't for me anyway, it's about the 'whole package'

 

[Fingertips ND]

Cor i wish id met you lot when i was younger. I always thought it was about how they look but ahve realised that is not teh case now. But do ahve to say I need that fancy spark with someone, i still fancy my husband he has got teh fittest buns lol, but i dont always like him lol
x

Me too! That is why I don't know what to do!

I feel if I don't fancy someone then there is no point! (How shallow am I).

 

[*JOANNE*]

when i met rob it was instant ish.......i thought ooh very nice, shame about the dress sense.....i think their has to be something either instant like or instant hate (they say both are quite similar in emotions) i have been with rob so long but i still find him attractive but sometimes i realllyyyyyy dont like him...
it would bother me if i thought rob didnt fancy me anymore....i think you do have to be physically attracted to each other though for things to work

 

[Fingertips ND]

This isn't anything related to BBQ man is it?!!!

I think you can do both, and from personal experience the love at first sight ones are the ones that tend to fizzle out once the passion has gone. Ones that are based on friendship tend to last the longest.

Was yours love at first sight or friendship Sass?

 

[Rach]

This has happened to me on 2 occasions, i met this guy who was really lovely, kind, everything you want - but i just did not fancy him! We stayed friends for ages, and when the time came that i realised i fancied him and wanted to be with him - he had just met someone else! :-(

But then the same thing happened a few years later, and i met my current boyfriend. I thought he was a nice guy but i did not fancy him or could not see us being a couple. But i went out on a few dates, and i realised he had a great personality, would do anything for me, etc etc and that was it - i just fell for him and moved in with him a few months later! Everything just falls into place, and now i cannot see myself without him........

If you think he is a nice guy and seems decent enough, just see how it goes. If you still feel the same after a few weeks, then you know its not right.

 

[bimbogeri]

Al and I will have been together 5 years on Christmas day, but we were friends for a year before that.
We met and became best friends, at one point we tried to get together but although I felt strongly for him as a friend I didn't see him that way and I was still hung up on my ex and we decided after about a day it was a bad idea.
Then things turned very sour with my ex and Al was there for me. He was my best friend and always there for me but it wasn't until he was going to move away for three months that we realised how we felt about each other, and we've been together ever since.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that love can creep up on you slowly - Al is an attractive guy but I guess I don't neccessarily look at him and go 'phwooarh!' cos I see him as so much more than that, I fell in love with the person he is and the looks are just a bonus.

The one thing you can't do though is force love. If you think this guy is a nice bloke you could try seeing him a bit more and see if things develop, but if you go into it trying to force yourself into a relationship or looking for more than is there, it's not gonna happen. Likewise he needs to be made aware that you can't just jump into things, you have to see how things go - this isn't high school where you go 'will you go out with me?' and bam! you're dating. Go with the flow and see what happens.

 

[Rainbow girl]

Im with Sass on this one. Its ok fancying the pants off someone but thats all your doing, fancying them on physical apperance! And in my experience all the greek gods out there all know it, and they are all ..................... :smack:

If someone fits the bill in all other areas, give them a chance. I believe you fall in love when you truly know someone!

Probably doesnt make much sense,

GOOD LUCK, Claire Xxx

 

[Fingertips ND]

I know!

I can't help comparing him to the way my ex looked, etc.

I thought my ex was soooo sexy (and he knew it) but I fancied him straight away and I don't this guy!

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Was yours love at first sight or friendship Sass?

Hmm I have to be honest, the two people I have had long term relationships I both fancied at first sight. However my ex husband couldn't understand why I said that him being my best friend was more important than looks. I made sure that second time around that he was my best friend too, Yeah, it's lovely to have a good looking bloke on your arm, but like I say when the passion fizzles then friendship will take over. If you don't have that to start with then there is nowhere for the relationship to go.

What is it that you look for in a guy to fancy? and why is BBQ man lacking this?!!!