BBC- the great abortion divide

[mm29]

There is a saying, don't judge until you have walked a mile in the other person's shoes!
The older you get the more you see this.
But of course we all have different views ect but thinking that dose make me think twice before I judge xxx

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Very appropriate words!

I really don't want to go into details as its very raw, never spoken about and haunts me everyday!

Until you have to make the decision to save yourself for your other kids you can Never say never!

 

[lydia c]

I judged until it happened to me , I learnt a very valuable lesson at the age of 15 now I never ever judge people x

 

[X18WAT]

i dont think anyone can judge someone on their choices in life. they have no clue on their situation, wants, needss, thoughts etc and because of this noone in my family knows about my abortion. i feel selfish in the choice i made as my granny couldnt carry a baby and had multiple miscarriages therefore my mum is adopted and i know she has very strong views on abortion. i dont think il ever tell her, luckily the very few people i did tell supported me immensly and didnt judge me on the decision i chose. its not something someone should have to go through on their own or something that should be taken lightly.

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[lydia c]

My mums adopted too but she was supportive , I don't feel that guilty for the abortion I would feel guilty not being able to look after a child properly especially at 15 years old x

 

[ruberio]

i'm derailing a bit but i've been stuck at home ill alone for the past week with only salon geek and boobs the dog for company, there has been 3 very emotive and personal debates on chit chat recently (politics, religion and no abortion) and i've read and participated in all of them, all be it in a minor way...i can only say that i am totally impressed by the calm ,intelligent and mature manner that these debates have been conducted, many differing views, opinions and beliefs have been discussed without anything degenerating into arguments. restores my faith in humanity and anyone who still believes that anyone who works in our industries only does so because they are brainless, well they should look no further than salon geek, then they would get their eyes opened xxx

 

[Pinkbunny28]

I believe there are only a few circumstances when abortion should ever be considered: rape, risk of death, risk of having a severely disabled child that would never be able to be alone and will most likely die before their parents.

I think people are entitled to their own opinions and can make their own choices but at the end of the day that's just what I believe. I guess you could say I'm pro choice but I think those being careless and selfish (like that woman who had 4...obviously using it as contraception) should pay the price. I wonder if people would be so ignorant if they had to pay medical bills in the UK?
x

 

[Tomme]

I believe there are only a few circumstances when abortion should ever be considered: rape, risk of death, risk of having a severely disabled child that would never be able to be alone and will most likely die before their parents.

I think people are entitled to their own opinions and can make their own choices but at the end of the day that's just what I believe. I guess you could say I'm pro choice but I think those being careless and selfish (like that woman who had 4...obviously using it as contraception) should pay the price. I wonder if people would be so ignorant if they had to pay medical bills in the UK?
x

We will soon... Xoxo

 

[LilMissEmmylou]

I am very much in the same camp as proper princess and I can say that I have always held the same opinion even when I got pregnant in my first year at uni when I lived in another country from my family and boyfriend. I might not have had money or stability but I had love and my daughter had all the love in the world and somehow we managed financially.

 

[happyfeet]

I have never had an abortion but I took a friend who did, a truly upsetting time for my friend and I have to say for myself too.

I strongly believe that it is someones choice, as others have said you never know under what circumstances they make that very difficult decision and believe I do not have the right to judge them.

When I fell pregnant, unexpectedly with my son, my husband and I considered for the briefest of moments not to have him. We were frightened we would not be able to financially support him, after talking it over with each other and our parents, my husband and I decided we would do everything we possibly could to support our baby, we continue to do this to this very day.

At my first scan we had a terribly upsetting time as we were told that for my age we should have had a much higher ratio of our child having downs syndrome, we however had a 1 in 100 chance. Two days later I went for a CVS to see if our child had downs syndrome, all the time hanging over our heads that there was small percentage of chance that the CVS could cause me to miscarry. We had an agonising 2 week wait to get the results back and though my husband and I discussed that if indeed our baby did have downs I would possibly consider an abortion, in my heart of hearts I believed if I was presented with this news I would keep our baby. Our baby boy we found out did not have Downs, he was just a big 'ole boy with a rather chubby neck bless his heart.

My little boy is 7 now, nearly 8, and I sometimes question my thoughts and feel really bad that I considered an abortion as our son is our absolute world, but I really shouldn't. I had those thoughts and made those decisions based on that particular time in my life . Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but none of us possess foresight, so as I have already said, I think people should be free to make their own decisions and should never be judged for doing so.

As for the the time limit on abortion, yes I do believe it should be lowered, 24 or even 20 weeks is too far down the line in my opinion.

 

[SerenityNailz]

I am very much pro choice but do agree that the 24 week limit should be decreased to 16 weeks or even less! After suffering the loss of a baby and then almost losing my little girl at 22 weeks I cannot imagine having to make that heartbreaking choice. A very close family member of mine was pregnant at the same time i was second time around and had an abortion (a very brave and mature decision given her age and situation) and I know it is very hard for her to see me with my little girl knowing that she would have had a baby only a few weeks older than mine.

I find it astounding that the medical profession will allow an abortion up to 24 weeks but yet when I went into labour at 22 weeks I was told they would not try to save my little girl as she wasn't at 'viable' gestational age - I.e they didn't want to 'waste' their funds!! Given that babies born at 22/23 weeks have survived I cannot understand why they wouldn't at least have tried! Seems they have their priorities a bit backwards if you ask me!

x

 

[X18WAT]

i also think the abortion limit should be changed, and in all honestly i think it should be less than 16 weeks and should only be carried out after the lower limit unless complications develop or the mother herself is in danger. although iv had an abortion myself, i find it awful that people wait until the baby is fully developed or near enough to abort. i found out i was pregnant when i was 4 weeks, went to the doctor the next day and had to wait for a referral to my nearest large hospital. this again took a TWO WEEKS, it then took another 2 weeks until i was giving a consultation and scan, and it was the week after had the abortion, tablet method. i was so angry that i was left so long, i had severe morning sickness, was bleeding and some mornings couldn't even get out my bed as i couldn't hold anything down and had migraines. and over this time i was slowly beginning to change my decision. the day i was due to go for my oral tablet i fainted at work and was bleeding heavily, therefore i was taken to the hospital earlier and i had to sit in a cold room with my bottoms off on a bed with a bit of couch roll over me for 35 minutes waiting for a doctor to come and see me. a nurse then came back and told me that the doctor thinks i might be losing it and just to take the tablet and go home and come back 2 days later for the final stage. it really was the worst experience of my life. my friend is now saying

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[X18WAT]

oops! my friend told me at the end of last year that she was pregnant, (shes a compulsive liar and had told me many times thats shes been pregnant and had abortions) and told me she was going to our local doctors to have an abortion, which again is a lie as you have to go to aberdeen or elgin for this. shes told everyone she met thst she was pregnant and was going to abort it, has been writing things on fb to make people suggest shes pregnant. i told her everything about my experience and how i felt, my partner doesnt even know alot of how i felt. and now i just feel that shes mocking me, and that she thinks the whole thing is a game and a joke. its making me extremely angry and upset at her but i dont know how to handle it or what to say? any ideas geeks? xx

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[CHarvey]

oops! my friend told me at the end of last year that she was pregnant, (shes a compulsive liar and had told me many times thats shes been pregnant and had abortions) and told me she was going to our local doctors to have an abortion, which again is a lie as you have to go to aberdeen or elgin for this. shes told everyone she met thst she was pregnant and was going to abort it, has been writing things on fb to make people suggest shes pregnant. i told her everything about my experience and how i felt, my partner doesnt even know alot of how i felt. and now i just feel that shes mocking me, and that she thinks the whole thing is a game and a joke. its making me extremely angry and upset at her but i dont know how to handle it or what to say? any ideas geeks? xx

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She obviously has personal issues if she feels the need to get attention this way. Best thing you can do is completey ignore people like her xx

 

[Tomme]

She obviously has personal issues if she feels the need to get attention this way. Best thing you can do is completey ignore people like her xx

Agreed. There was a girl at my school who said she was pregnant constantly. After a year or 2 of her saying she was pregnant and had abortions (about 5 per year apparently) I had to give her a reality check that firstly she was too ugly for someone to do anything with her and secondly her "bump" was her fat, never heard it again xoxo

 

[lydia c]

Agreed. There was a girl at my school who said she was pregnant constantly. After a year or 2 of her saying she was pregnant and had abortions (about 5 per year apparently) I had to give her a reality check that firstly she was too ugly for someone to do anything with her and secondly her "bump" was her fat, never heard it again xoxo

There are people who use abortion as a contraceptive that's ridiculous x

 

[ProperPrincess]

I'm glad there are other sides here, I just hope there aren't people who will jump down your throat for it and end up causing arguments.

I agree we should all have our own choices, its just the ones who were stood outside the clinics protesting it, I can't help but think what kind of life does their children have, you disagree with them but spend your time taking care of your children, they disagree but neglect theirs to push their view down others throats. Xoxo

I think everyone had respected each others opinions thus so far. I specifically said I'm not looking for an argument and I think my post was respectful enough to ensure I didn't upset people too much.

I wouldn't stand outside a clinic, I don't judge anyone personally... Just on a whole it's something I don't agree with.

Oh my post has no religious spin... I'm not religious at all

Xxx

 

[ProperPrincess]

There are people who use abortion as a contraceptive that's ridiculous x

That's the people I judge x the only ones I judge xx

 

[Sarah89Nails]

I feel that 24,20,18 weeks is too late. I think more so for the mothers sake, the trauma of aborting a foetus at the gestation would severely impact a woman's mental health. My sons started kicking at 15 weeks :/

I think there should be more in place to prevent multiple abortions with a few years if each other. My parents told me when you are ready for responsibility that's when you are ready for sex. As even with contraception there is always a risk.

I have had 3 miscarriages, and a friend of mine had an abortion a few months after my first, we drifted apart because it was hard for me to desperately want my baby when she didn't want hers. I understood why she did it but she didn't try to prevent pregnancy at all and I don't think she learnt any lessons from it.

Thus is the kind if thing u wang to see prevented- people not being responsible, not getting the enormity of it and those having multiple abirtions close together. In my mind though abortion is ok for those in desperate situations who understand what a big deal it is. And for those who have been abused or raped, or definite signs of severe disability but it's best to have it done as early as possible.

Very proud if our interesting discussions not turning into arguments. I love hearing different opinions x

 

[sarah_clancy]

There are people who use abortion as a contraceptive that's ridiculous x

Eughhhh I know one person who has had 5!
The last one she ordered some tablets from the USA online and self aborted... As the doctors weren't prepared to do it.
Needless to say when she wanted to have a bambino, she miscarried..

I find it bizarre, falling pregnant for most people is quite hard, yet some people it happens so quickly, I suppose it's all in the mind if your thinking about it!xx

 

[Tomme]

I think everyone had respected each others opinions thus so far. I specifically said I'm not looking for an argument and I think my post was respectful enough to ensure I didn't upset people too much.

I wouldn't stand outside a clinic, I don't judge anyone personally... Just on a whole it's something I don't agree with.

Oh my post has no religious spin... I'm not religious at all

Xxx

Lol I didn't mean you were a religious nut case or anything xoxo