Boyfriend troubles

[becca_hair]

Agree with everyone else but to add I reckon he is loving the attention he is getting from her, and knows that would stop if he had to say she needed to 'back off' and didn't give his number to her, he shouldn't need attention from anybody else! He either needs to realise he is making a mistake or you need to get rid before you get hurt good luck hunny xxxx

 

[lucyboo]

I would dump him & let him treat her the same way as hes treating you x she may have a smug look for a while but it will soon change to not trusting him!

An ex friend of mine split with her hubby, but before they split there was a guy who would like everything she put on facebook & all his comments had a nudge nudge wink wink feel to them! Low & behold it was him she left her hubby for! It didnt last with her & him & her hubby is now the happiest ive ever seen him!

You deserve better than him x

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[squidgernetball]

Have to disagree that men cannot have female friends. Most of my husbands friends are female and he had never had a relationship with any of them apart from friendship. He said it would be like sha**ing his sister. They all flat shared when they moved to London and I know and like them all.
However men can be a bit thick and when they think she's just being friendly and we think she's after our man, we're usually right. I have only ever had one female who I felt threatened by. She would post in his page and text him. The only one I never met. I told him I felt threatened and he listened. I think he was being friendly and she was making plans.

Follow your gut. If he doesn't listen to how it upsets you then he doesn't care enough. As had been said, he's turning it back onto you.
Good luck x

 

[WaxGirl]

On my salon facebook last night...

a woman put up a picture of her husband and best friend

lol you see where this is going

and outed them as having an affair and said that of all the people in the world you woudnt expect those two people to do that to you!

lols its a mad world people will sare anything on facebook

 

[squidgernetball]

On my salon facebook last night...

a woman put up a picture of her husband and best friend

lol you see where this is going

and outed them as having an affair and said that of all the people in the world you woudnt expect those two people to do that to you!

lols its a mad world people will sare anything on facebook

So true. I know of too many women who have had affairs with their best friends husbands - but to out it on FB...........

Wonder if she'll get a lot of likes!

 

[becca_hair]

Have to disagree that men cannot have female friends.

Totally agree with this, my boyfriend has some ace female friends that are now good friends to me, and I have some brill make friends that are friends with him, if there was ever a feeling of doubt with anyone it would be easily discussed and sorted, xxx

 

[Scissorz]

I was going to post a similar problem on here but I thought I would just ask on this thread rather than start a new one hope that's ok.

Basically I found out over the weekend that my fiancé who I've been with for 13 yrs an have a child with has cheated on me. I don't know why but I decided to look at his fb messages, I've never done this before an I saw a message from his sister who he has fell out with recently, it said 'who are you to judge me when I'm single when you've been sha**ing (girls name) whilst your with (my name) you wouldn't like it if she found out, I have times an dates'
I think I'm in shock, I have no idea what to do, I called his sister and asked her about it, she claims she was drunk an wanted to hurt him so made this story up, I don't believe her though, it's too detailed to be made up! I haven't spoken to to him about it yet as I know once I've opened that can of worms there will be no going back, I just don't know what to do :-(

 

[Elaine Armani]

I was going to post a similar problem on here but I thought I would just ask on this thread rather than start a new one hope that's ok.

Basically I found out over the weekend that my fiancé who I've been with for 13 yrs an have a child with has cheated on me. I don't know why but I decided to look at his fb messages, I've never done this before an I saw a message from his sister who he has fell out with recently, it said 'who are you to judge me when I'm single when you've been sha**ing (girls name) whilst your with (my name) you wouldn't like it if she found out, I have times an dates'
I think I'm in shock, I have no idea what to do, I called his sister and asked her about it, she claims she was drunk an wanted to hurt him so made this story up, I don't believe her though, it's too detailed to be made up! I haven't spoken to to him about it yet as I know once I've opened that can of worms there will be no going back, I just don't know what to do :-(

Omg Hun
That would be really shocking!!!!
You definitely need to tell him, otherwise nothing will ever get sorted!!!
I really wish I could give you more advice but I really have no idea how I would of handled a situation like this
Let's see what other geeks will say!
Xx

 

[Elaine Armani]

I was going to post a similar problem on here but I thought I would just ask on this thread rather than start a new one hope that's ok.

Basically I found out over the weekend that my fiancé who I've been with for 13 yrs an have a child with has cheated on me. I don't know why but I decided to look at his fb messages, I've never done this before an I saw a message from his sister who he has fell out with recently, it said 'who are you to judge me when I'm single when you've been sha**ing (girls name) whilst your with (my name) you wouldn't like it if she found out, I have times an dates'
I think I'm in shock, I have no idea what to do, I called his sister and asked her about it, she claims she was drunk an wanted to hurt him so made this story up, I don't believe her though, it's too detailed to be made up! I haven't spoken to to him about it yet as I know once I've opened that can of worms there will be no going back, I just don't know what to do :-(

Just remembered how many times my ice seen messages like this on my ex's Facebook, he told me they weren't true because he knew I had no proof.. Few months later I found out they were true.
Don't be fooled by him, you really need to talk about this with him, you don't deserve an asshole like that!!!

 

[virtues2011]

Facebook is more trouble than its worth most of the time.

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[Nearlyme]

I've had this recently. I just noticed this girl liking all his pics n statuses n we all work at the same place but I didn't know her until one day she walked past me with a smug look on her face. Spoke to the boyfriend n he said they just talk about work (yet they're on different departments) I said I don't like it there's no need for it especially as she's acting smug about it. Anyways he got really upset as he didn't think he was doing wrong at the time. They don't message now. Just talk to him and make it clear how you feel n let us know how it goes xxx

Would you say you are an insecure person, it sounds like it to me. How exactly did her face look "smug" is it possible that that is just what you wanted to see?
I have loads of male friends, some I are even x boyfriends, on FB. We comment on each other's status updates, like each others photos, we tag each other in videos. A lot of my male freinds ask me for relationship advice and there is one guy, who I dated at high school, who phones and texts me at least once a week for a good old natter.
My husband is in FB but doesnt really "do facebook" he can see everything that gets said on my page and he really doesnt mind because he trusts me 100%. He has female freinds at work who he texts jokes to and chats with at lunch.

At the end of the day i think the problem here isnt this other girl, its your lack of trust. Whether that stems from previous relationship or if he has cheated before I dont know. I do know however that if you continue to try and control him by telling him who he can and cant talk to then he will go elsewhere.
This girl may well be interested, I would take it as a compliment, because if he was going to cheat he would have done so by now.

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[AcidPerm]

I think I'm in shock, I have no idea what to do, I called his sister and asked her about it, she claims she was drunk an wanted to hurt him so made this story up, I don't believe her though, it's too detailed to be made up! I haven't spoken to to him about it yet as I know once I've opened that can of worms there will be no going back, I just don't know what to do :-(

Sorry, but I think you've already opened the can.

You need to think rationally but don't make any hasty decisions. Always put yourself and your little one first and take legal advice where property and money is concerned.

I've been through a similar experience about 12 years ago and it took me a while of believing his lies and denials before I accepted what all the evidence had pointed to all along. (I also saw messages from his sister confirming my suspicions which he brushed off as her making trouble, except I knew she wasn't like that.)

There was a lot of **** initially but at least I made sure I did well financially out of it all. I waited until he finally admitted all his wrongdoings (about 5 months later) and whilst he was still suffering from guilt at the hurt he'd caused, he signed over the house to me plus cars & cash. (There was a lot of **** he had to pay for!)

We both moved to different parts of the country and have never seen each other since although I gather from a mutual friend that his new partner blames me for her bloke having £££ debt but then she only knows his side of the story. ;-)

I got a brilliant new job shortly after selling up and moving (doubling my salary) and met my new partner and have a young son. You can't see what's around the corner but it isn't necessarily worse and it might be bloody amazing!

Good luck to both of you going through ****ty times and I hope it all works out ok. xx

 

[amys-beauty]

Nearly me; i guess we can all be insecure but i told him I didn't like it as people were like oh Lauren said your boyfriend keeps messaging her. She was definatly smug! I told him outright I feel embarrassed n upset that this 17 year old (6years younger than me) thinks she had one up on me. I said I want it to be his choice whether to carry on "messaging about work" or to stop. He has only 2 girl mates who I trust n get on with. I think the fact that it's in the work place n I felt like I was being laughed at really set me off. I do trust him though, he's a great guy xx

 

[squidgernetball]

So often it's the man we trust - but the other women that we don't!

 

[Nearlyme]

Nearly me; i guess we can all be insecure but i told him I didn't like it as people were like oh Lauren said your boyfriend keeps messaging her. She was definatly smug! I told him outright I feel embarrassed n upset that this 17 year old (6years younger than me) thinks she had one up on me. I said I want it to be his choice whether to carry on "messaging about work" or to stop. He has only 2 girl mates who I trust n get on with. I think the fact that it's in the work place n I felt like I was being laughed at really set me off. I do trust him though, he's a great guy xx

Then if you trust him I dont get what the problem is? She will soon get fed up.
If I were you I would turn it round and make it out that it doesn't bother you in the slightest. The next time someone says something about her messaging him id say "oh I know bless her, I dont think she has anyone else she can talk to. I dont mind but my boyfriend says he sometimes feels a bit like she is a stalker and he would like to go on FB without her commenting on everything"
Then when I see her I would be ultra nice "oh hi honey, my boyfriend and I were talking about you last night, we were discussing that little problem you were saying you had..well if you ever want a womans perspective I am always here. A friend of my boy friends is a freind of mine"


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[Steph86]

On my salon facebook last night...

a woman put up a picture of her husband and best friend

lol you see where this is going

and outed them as having an affair and said that of all the people in the world you woudnt expect those two people to do that to you!

lols its a mad world people will sare anything on facebook

It was a couple of years ago... But a friend of a friends boyfriend cheated on her. His punishment? She put her profile on public, & uploaded lots of naughty pictures & some with his face in. Tagged everyone of his friends so (thats how I seen them) it was all over my news feed. Lol. Obviously they got removed but it made me laugh! Men! Xx

 

[xxAmyxx]

At the end of the day even if you are insecure your boyfriend should respect this and want to build up your trust, In my opinion he should get rid of her. If there's nothing more too them talking then why would he care?

 

[CONNECT-2-HAIR]

Not good! Take it as a warning! ! Instincts vital here. Follow them.

Totally agree, his actions don't add up, very fishy

 

[sarah1992]

I agree with Squidgernetball on this. I believe men & women can be fruends & dont see why couples shouldnt be allowed to talk to the opposite because they are in a relationship. I have more male friends than girls & we text regularly, my boyfriend texts our girl friends & all his work crowd have each others numbers.

It's the women you have to watch out for, 3 of my girl friends have tried to be with my boyfriend while we were together (once on my birthday) so once you trust him to have sense & tell them where to go it 's ok!

But I appreciate its not a nice situation & arguing is always stressful x

 

[Missy1213]

This whole thread has got me pumping.

(I don't believe men can be just friends with a woman and if they are it's because one of them is not so lucky in the looks dept.)

If your uncomfortable you are uncomfortable. He should respect that and be open to what communication theyre having and should have them infront of you leaving no room for doubt/mistrust.
Don't let him make you doubt yourself and turn it on you.
Trust your instinct.