Do you send Christmas cards if you've had a death in the family?

[An*Gel]

I hope this doesn't sound too strange, but my very brave and lovely Dad died this June of Lung cancer.

I'm sure I heard somewhere that if a family member dies, you shouldn't send Christmas cards or you don't get them sent to you.

I just wondered is it OK for me to send them?

What do you all think?

 

[dee]

i know when my mum died we all still sent cards to each other, it felt strange and empty because she died a couple of months before xmas, but i know she would have hated it if we had stopped celebrating altogether , :hug: xxxx

 

[Princess*laura]

My dad died last year and at christmas my mum didnt send cards out, she recieved plenty though.
It was kind of a sucky time though so sending cards was the last thing on our minds

 

[Kim Lawless]

People will be scared to wish you a MERRY Christmas as that will be the last thing you'll be doing, so don't get upset if incoming cards are a bit thin on the ground.

As far as sending them, I would and if you can't stand to leave your dads name off, you could put from Us all or The Smith (your name) Family

Even eight years later since my dad died of lung cancer too, I still hate to see just my mums name on a card.
:hug:

 

[An*Gel]

People will be scared to wish you a MERRY Christmas as that will be the last thing you'll be doing, so don't get upset if incoming cards are a bit thin on the ground.

As far as sending them, I would and if you can't stand to leave your dads name off, you could put from Us all or The Smith (your name) Family

Even eight years later since my dad died of lung cancer too, I still hate to see just my mums name on a card.
:hug:

Yes, it's terrible isn't it?.. the dreaded name gone from the cards from now on.

My birthday card in August from my Mam was horrible and I bawled and bawled when I saw it.

 

[Annie23]

I think you should do what you feel is best for you and your family. I've not actually heard that you don't send cards after a death and I can see that for some people who are grieving that this would seem as though they have been forgotten and will make their Christmas even more lonely than it will already be. I know your question is regarding whether you should send cards as you lost your dad but many people may not know whether to send a card and then think again if they do recieve one from you. I think that after a hard time like you have all been through its good to know that people still care.

anne xx

 

[An*Gel]

Thanks everyone for all the replies.... I'm going to go ahead and send them.

I think the whole not sending cards at Christmas must be a Catholic thing.... we have to feel guilty for everything we do

 

[angelina221]

My mom died October 4 years ago. My dad still sent Christmas cards and so did we. He hates Christmas now and spends it on his own. He comes round to bring presents and then spends the rest of the day at home alone. He just can't face it, no matter how much we tell him to come for the day. I'm not saying this because it's my dad, but i honestly don't know anyone who loved someone more than my dad loved my mom. He idolised her but he still sent Christmas cards! He got a bit upset when people avoided talking to him as they didn't know what to say and i think it would have upset him more if people hadn't sent cards.

 

[deanosnana]

Thanks everyone for all the replies.... I'm going to go ahead and send them.

I think the whole not sending cards at Christmas must be a Catholic thing.... we have to feel guilty for everything we do

Hi An*Gel, I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away Nov, 2000 and I'm still not over it. I think whatever you decide to do is the right thing.

And yes, Catholics do have to feel guilty for everything, don't we? LOL!

:hug:

 

[ValencianNails]

Yes, it's terrible isn't it?.. the dreaded name gone from the cards from now on.

My birthday card in August from my Mam was horrible and I bawled and bawled when I saw it.

I was the same when I saw my daughter's birthday card a month after we lost my Dad, to only see "Lots of love Nanny" on her card was awful. I still have our anniversary card from August, it was the last card my Mum sent out that had Mum & Dad in it.

Do what you feel is right for you, I will be sending a card to my Mum but it will be worded very carefully. Don't be surprised if your Mum doesn't get at least one or two cards with both of their names written inside, there will always be someone who you don't see very often who hasn't heard your news, I'm dreading that happening to my Mum to be honest.

:hug:

 

[Bagpuss]

sorry to hear about everyones bereavements...:hug:

I lost my dad in July and its like this feeling of sadness inside you that just never goes away....you can laugh at something funny and enjoy things in life, but that sadness of losing the ones we love is still there....alongside the many many happy memories and love that stays with us forever.....a real mix of emotions.

I gave my mum her Christmas card last week....it said To mum and dad on the front....she loved it but then i knew she would....becouse he is still very much there in that house.

Mum is still sending cards but writes them just from herself....unless they are for family and then we still do the "mum and dad" thing....its just our little way of keeping him here with us.

I hope you all manage to have some joy this christmas...knowing your loved ones are and will always be within your heart...:hug:

 

[deanosnana]

sorry to hear about everyones bereavements...:hug:

I lost my dad in July and its like this feeling of sadness inside you that just never goes away....you can laugh at something funny and enjoy things in life, but that sadness of losing the ones we love is still there....alongside the many many happy memories and love that stays with us forever.....a real mix of emotions.

I gave my mum her Christmas card last week....it said To mum and dad on the front....she loved it but then i knew she would....becouse he is still very much there in that house.

Mum is still sending cards but writes them just from herself....unless they are for family and then we still do the "mum and dad" thing....its just our little way of keeping him here with us.

I hope you all manage to have some joy this christmas...knowing your loved ones are and will always be within your heart...:hug:

What a beautiful response... :hug:

 

[deanosnana]

To all those who have lost a loved one this year, this may help. It sure helped me when I lost my dad... :hug:


My First Christmas In Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

 

[Bagpuss]

beautiful poem....:hug:

 

[persianista]

Lovely poem.
I feel so sad for you losing your Dad this year. I lost my darling Dad 4 years ago, and havn't got over it. He died on 30th November, so I didn't really do cards that year. I coundn't bear to get my Mum a "mum" card. Just do what feels right for you, people are kind and sensitive when they know what you are going through.
Big hug x

 

[High Hopes]

sorry to hear about everyones bereavements...:hug:

I lost my dad in July and its like this feeling of sadness inside you that just never goes away....you can laugh at something funny and enjoy things in life, but that sadness of losing the ones we love is still there....alongside the many many happy memories and love that stays with us forever.....a real mix of emotions.

I gave my mum her Christmas card last week....it said To mum and dad on the front....she loved it but then i knew she would....becouse he is still very much there in that house.

Mum is still sending cards but writes them just from herself....unless they are for family and then we still do the "mum and dad" thing....its just our little way of keeping him here with us.

I hope you all manage to have some joy this christmas...knowing your loved ones are and will always be within your heart...:hug:

This is exactly what I am doing this year. We lost our daughter in July and Im not ready to let go just yet all my family cards still have Lohgan's name on them and all the others have our names plus a doodle of a butterfly to sort of say we know shes not here but we still need to acknowledge that she was.

Do what feels right for you and your family, there is no right or wrong x

 

[An*Gel]

Oh thanks so much everyone for all those lovely responses... Bagpuss that was such a lovely thing to say ... I'm crying now.. and I've just can't even read the poem yet cause I have to work today and I'll have red puffy eyes, so I'll be back later to have a look :hug:

I'm very sorry to hear of everyone's loss.. a big :hug: to you all x x x

 

[deanosnana]

This is exactly what I am doing this year. We lost our daughter in July and Im not ready to let go just yet all my family cards still have Lohgan's name on them and all the others have our names plus a doodle of a butterfly to sort of say we know shes not here but we still need to acknowledge that she was.

Do what feels right for you and your family, there is no right or wrong x

High Hopes, I'm crying over your post. My heart goes out to you! :hug:

 

[An*Gel]

High Hopes I've just seen your post... I was crying too much this morning and didn't notice and now I'm off again.

I'm so very very sorry for your loss. No words can help or comfort you. My sister's little baby died when he was 7 months old and we will never forgot him.

I have my user name named after him cause he's a little Angel now:hug:

 

[Noodle]

I lost my wonderful Dad this year too :cry:, but I will be sending Xmas Cards as usual and hope to receive lots also.