Drama, or do I just Lie ?

[nailzoo]

This is kind of a Blog, (please forgive me), but I think we may all eventually have to go through it, so it's more public than private, so please forgive me if it's wrong, or in the wrong place ...... hell, even I'm confused.

I have a really good client (and very generous client) who had invited me for lunch at a very expensive restaurant .......

I love her dearly and appreciate her custom ...BUT, I can't afford that kinda lunch and will have to cancel appointments to attend.

I don't know who will be paying, but I love her dearly.

I don't actually have to cancel appointments, I am free (for now), but don't wanna blow $200 just for a casual afternoon.

It's an awkward time of the year, but this client tips me at least $25 each visit (every 2 weeks) and brings a quite expensive gifts at every appointment just for fun,

I repeat, I love her dearly, but this restaurant is very expensive and I don't know who is paying, but I would love to make her day a happy one.

I am a proud man and don't like the idea of saying I can't afford something, when maybe she will be paying, but maybe she won't, but still want to be a part, but don't want it to cost me a fortune. More than likely she will be paying, but I'm really not sure.

As I said, this may be a blog, but if many of us may be in the same situation, surely this can be considered as more public than private, as I really need a broad spectrum opinion, rather than limited to my mates (who will probably have a more sympathetic answer).

So here I am, hand on heart, heart on sleeve, trying to keep my hand out of my wallet without sounding cheap, yet wanting to participate at the same time.

This lunch will be approx $200 per head, if we pay individually, if the other 2 parties pay for my clients lunch and drinks, we are talking about $300 each and I really want to go, but am not clear as to who is paying for what.

 

[Verve Designs]

$200 is £114 a head...for lunch??

Make a credit-crunch joke and ask the question! A little embarrasment now would head it off down the line! In my experience if she's invited you to lunch, you'd be expected to go dutch. Or at least she might expect you to offer.

 

[ValencianNails]

I totally see where you're coming from.
I'd have a quiet word with her Carl, explain to her that with the time of year/recession etc it's not really a good time for you to be spending out, if she says for you not to worry and the treat's on her then all well and good, if not then I'm sure she'll understand :hug:

 

[catsaremad]

Yes I agree better to say something know and be a tadge embaressed rather than get to the lunch and be mortified, I'm sure that the client will respect you for having 'the balls' to say that you can not afford it.

 

[nailzoo]

I totally see where you're coming from.
I'd have a quiet word with her Carl, explain to her that with the time of year/recession etc it's not really a good time for you to be spending out, if she says for you not to worry and the treat's on her then all well and good, if not then I'm sure she'll understand :hug:

It happened today, all the hints were dropped, then she tipped me $30 and I'm still unclear.

I really think the treat is on her, but I hate that expectation without clarity.

I want to bail, but at the same time, I so want to celebrate with her.

 

[Gelly]

It happened today, all the hints were dropped, then she tipped me $30 and I'm still unclear.

I really think the treat is on her, but I hate that expectation without clarity.

I want to bail, but at the same time, I so want to celebrate with her.

What is she celebrating and when is it?

 

[Verve Designs]

Well- thats $30 towards it then eh? only $170 to go!

 

[nailzoo]

What is she celebrating and when is it?

Birthday, next Tuesday, first time I heard of it was today.

 

[Anna Lee]

Birthday, next Tuesday, first time I heard of it was today.

Is it just you and her or a group of people...??

Cos if its a group of people, then you can narrow it down to the fact that you will be paying your own way cos it's less likely that she will pay for all.

But I agree that sussing it out for sure will be the best as then you know where you stand... maybe you can say something jokely so you can keep your dignity without asking her out right...??

 

[Anna Lee]

Hm... something like....

Her:' Carl, are you coming to xxx for lunch next tuesday..?'
You: ' xxx...? I like that place, I have been/heard of it before and always wanted to go. But I must first see how many sets of nails I can fit in before tues to help me pay for it......' hahahahaha ( fake laugh)...

I know this is a bit dry but hope you get my point....

 

[Gelly]

Birthday, next Tuesday, first time I heard of it was today.

Oh. So too soon to save up your tips and too important to blow out.... now I'm feeling ya - especially as two other people are going to be there... who might refuse her contribution - could leave you right in it!

If you really can't afford it then your going to have to just tell her... I would love to celebrate your birthday with you, you mean a great deal to me. But - I can't afford to come this time.

Don't lie. You'll feel rubbish if you do.
Also, if she doesn't know the truth, then you close the chance of her offering to pay if she wants to.

If she doesn't offer, don't be hurt.
Maybe you could arrange to meet her after work for a drink on Tuesday instead?

 

[nailzoo]

Oh. So too soon to save up your tips and too important to blow out.... now I'm feeling ya - especially as two other people are going to be there... who might refuse her contribution - could leave you right in it!

If you really can't afford it then your going to have to just tell her... I would love to celebrate your birthday with you, you mean a great deal to me. But - I can't afford to come this time.

Don't lie. You'll feel rubbish if you do.
Also, if she doesn't know the truth, then you close the chance of her offering to pay if she wants to.

If she doesn't offer, don't be hurt.
Maybe you could arrange to meet her after work for a drink on Tuesday instead?

I agree, but I like her so much I was going to send her about $100 WORTH OF FLOWERS to the restaurant.

yet if i went it would be $200, so many variables.

 

[Gelly]

I agree, but I like her so much I was going to send her about $100 WORTH OF FLOWERS to the restaurant.

yet if i went it would be $200, so many variables.

When I read this, my initial reaction was - don't waste it on flowers! Save it and take her out.

Then I thought - hmm, actually I think that I would be really touched if someone had flowers like that delivered to me mid meal... I would feel very special.

So in theory it's a good idea but it is still costing $100 for something that will die lol... now I sound tight!

Now I'm back to - Don't waste it on flowers! Use it for something more personal... take her out.... get her name tattooed on your butt!

Although I know that your budget wont take her to swanky places, it's your company that she is after, so I'm sure you will have a great time regardless....

Either way, I say tell her the truth.

 

[Verve Designs]

$100.00? Can you not use that money to buy some generic pictures for your website?

Joking! Joking!!

 

[Bagpuss]

I agree with telling her the truth....you love her dearly and i think she thinks the same of you....you ain't "just" her nail tech and she ain't "just" a client....you both sound like more than that to me....your friends. So treat her as a friend and just say that you would love to come celebrate with her but unfortunately that restaurant is a little out of your price range....i bet $200 she replies with...."silly its on me"...to which you say...."thats very kind of you and will look forward to it"...the you can surprise her with the flowers while you are there.

 

[An*Gel]

I would tell her too. I would just say something like "I'd absolutely LOVE to go, but I'm afraid I'm broke after christamas"... then a little Carl joke (I can't help with that, but you know the drill)

I think she has so much money that it would actually never even occur to her that

1. You couldn't afford it or

2. She thought you thought you had to pay

So just tell her like it is :biggrin:

 

[Lellipop]

I would speak to her and say that you would love to go but funds are low atm, Just be honest and tell her how much you would love to go

 

[angelina221]

I'd just say 'i'd really love to come but funds are a bit low this month but how about i take you out next week for your birthday, just the two of us'.
That way it doesn't sound like you're being tight and if she was gonna pay she will say then. If she wasn't gonna pay then you still get to take her out but to a place of your choice :biggrin:

 

[marioned]

Honesty's the best policy.

I'm sure you've got her phone number, so call her and just explain that although you'd love to go with her to celebrate a happy occassion, funds are a bit tight at the moment. Either she'll understand (she's more of a friend than a client it seems) and accept this, or will explain that it's her treat. Either way the flowers would be a wonderful surprise.

She sounds as though she is a real friend Carl, so I'm sure she'd rather that you were honest with her, and weren't going through the worry you are at the moment. I'd phone her soon, as you are just going to keep worrying, aren't you?

Whatever you do, I hope it works out for you :hug:

 

[Martigirl]

a brilliant reply from Bagpuss xxx

hope it all works out xxxx