I'm in bits .. single mums, please share your inspirational stories of success

[sarahc]

my daughter has just announced cpl more things she wants added to her xmas list, and i just burst out crying .. looks like they're just getting stockings this year we're penniless!
i paid for the bills, food, clothes etc whilst my partner gambled away the mortgage and council tax he has also stolen the last of the money from inheritance i had 3k
have decided to try and work out some sort of plan to keep my business afloat, can no longer do bridal makeup (my bread and butter) as have no support whatsoever for childminding, so my goal is now to throw myself into eyelash extensions, being the best i can and getting a good name for myself - i want to turn this around for my gorgeous kids sake, why should they suffer for my mistakes (being such bad judge of character)
would love to hear other single mums inspirational stories, i feel as im in the gutter right now .. all my plans have gone out the window, just have to try and survive and make something of my business

 

[Crystal colleen]

Hi first off you need to go to the police about your stolen inheritance and I'm sure they will be able to help you.I've been in situations where I have had nothing and I mean nothing not only that my son had died and my daughter was born weighing half a pound and also coping with having nothing there father was a waist of space in the end he completely fooled me I had to pay for my sons funeral and getting to and from hospital to c my daughter every day my benefits went on travel and funeral which left me nothing and obviously I couldn't work then Christmas came and my thoughts were oh my god what do I do for 6 years of my daughter being poorly I haven't been able to work so Christmases are in our house about family and I buy lots of little things hairbands colouring just lots of lil girly things and then 1present that she really wants I had to do this for 5 years and now have a fiancé and things but for many years I struggled for a long long time as long as bills are paid and lil ones have food in there mouthed I would say your doing a pretty good job already as for Christmas I think we all loose the thought that Christmas isn't about elaborate prezzys and lots of them it's bout fun laughter family meaning you and your children there not going to love u any more or less with receiving lots of prezzys trust me I've been there and done it xxx

 

[Crystal colleen]

I am now a nail tech love my job very happy earning a lil bit of money makes all the difference I'll gt there just don't be to hard on yourself your doing a great job xxxx

 

[Ez84]

I've just pm'd you.

Crystal colleen...you are so right. So so true.

I wrote about ebay to help with presents. I have had to this year, and refuse to feel guilty, as the things I have bought are amazing quality hardly used, and cost so little. I have also bought new from shops...50 50 really.

Where I am there are pound shops and 99p stores. They have such lovely things in for children if you need to bulk it up a bit. The shops are throwing around a lot of deals at the mo.

You will get there...it's a matter of building yourself back up and you will look back on this and see how far you have come.xx

 

[dandelionpoppy]

SarahC do not beat yourself up; none of this is your fault. You loved someone and trusted them; that is how you should be. It is HIS fault, entirely, that through weakness he threw away what he had.
I wish you all the very best for a well-deserved happy future. xx

 

[Zo Zo]

May I ask how old your kids are?

 

[Crystal colleen]

I've just pm'd you.

Crystal colleen...you are so right. So so true.

I wrote about ebay to help with presents. I have had to this year, and refuse to feel guilty, as the things I have bought are amazing quality hardly used, and cost so little. I have also bought new from shops...50 50 really.

Where I am there are pound shops and 99p stores. They have such lovely things in for children if you need to bulk it up a bit. The shops are throwing around a lot of deals at the mo.

You will get there...it's a matter of building yourself back up and you will look back on this and see how far you have come.xx

I agree I did this for along time pound shops eBay bootsales and charity shops you can get some great things and like I say Christmas isn't about money and prezzys I even used to make lil things for my gal and she loved it i refused to feel guilty aswel I used to make my own lil chocolates for her and wrap them all different kinds of sweets and let's face it u can go to any supermarket and buy a bar of chocolate cheep chocolate go to a pound shop but ice cube molds different shapes and make ur own choccies I loved it when I was young my mum didn't have slot at all and me and my brother would get pens socks colouring books hairbands and we had so much to open coz she would split up our prezzys and wrap individually soooo exciting and Christmas is bout family love and having fun not money ima fond believer home made prezzys and lil bit and bobs is the way forward xxxx

 

[sarahc]

thanks everyone for the advise re:xmas - i already buy from ebay, so will have good look for xmas pressies now trying to list everything thats not nailed down!!
my youngest is 10 then 14, and i have a daughter sheffield uni doing physiotherapy, im not going to be able to help her with funding or expenses anymore, that was what the last of my money was set asside for.
just feel totally empty, i trusted this man 100% just didnt see it coming
on a plus side have just announced on fb, planning to concentrate on lash extensions and got fair bit positive feedback

 

[Zo Zo]

Ok, well your kids are at school all day so that is a big plus. I have loads of daytime clients, people who are self-employed, part-time or shift workers, or work flexi or are retired. And a 10 yr old will soon be 11, then 12 and so forth and you will be able to leave them. Try to get somewhere to live where you can work from home. It doesn't have to be a separate room. I know of people who work from their lounge or kitchen. Haven't looked at your profile to see what treatments you do but I would strongly recommend you don't focus on one treatment, keep your list as broad as possible.

 

[sarahc]

thanks zozo, yes thats what i plan to do rent somewhere with large living room or pref seperate dining room .. although dont know where i will stand regarding running business from rented property, will cross that bridge when i come to it
i did specialise in bridal makeup which im now going to have to give up - my partner has taken the car so appart from not having anyone to have the kids for me on a sat morning, wouldnt be able to get to them anyway!
im also trained in shellac, minx , regular manis/pedis, facials (although never really took to this) and eyelash extensions. i was thinking selling off my shellac kit as never really took off for me, doing conversion course in lashes then eventually advanced training and trying to specialise in eye treatments

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Oh hunny, i'm so sorry for you.
Keep your chin up and do whatever you can do.

I've made up present baskets from pound shops, eBay, etc. My dad loves to read, so instead of spending money getting a couple of books, i went to charity shops, got them for £1 and gave him a load. You can make up cute beauty packages too. I got my mum a basket from poundland and went around finding different body lotions and bath things and made it look pretty. She loved it.

I've also made a little coupon book in the past for my mum, things like "this voucher entitles you to breakfast in bed". You could always make one for your children with things they would like to do that wouldn't cost you an arm and a leg.

Are your children a little young to be left for a few hours on a saturday while you do bridal? I don't have children so i'm not too sure.

Geekbay is great for getting rid of a few things you don't need.

I've also sold old jewellery that i haven't worn in years on eBay and it has been brilliant. Especially near christmas. Don't sell anything that means a lot to you though, it isn't worth it.

Everything will work out. Remember to blog if you need to vent or chat xxx

 

[Zo Zo]

When you say, he's taken the car, does that mean he's left, i.e. are you still in the house?

 

[jcpark]

Keep your chin up :hug:

It will get better.

My ex hubbie disappeared two weeks before a repossession order arrived! I had no idea of the arrears or the non payment of council tax but I survived, and over 18 years, managed to keep my home, put two children through private education (with the help of scholarships), both attended university (one doing his masters) and start up and run a successful business myself. Sure it has had it's ups and downs. I can remember doing a car boot just to put food on the table! But it is possible.

I see you are in London - where in London are you and what treatments do you do? Pm me if you prefer.

 

[sarahc]

thank you for your fab ideas for xmas .. love the vouchers idea, my girls love sleepovers, could do 'this voucher entitles you and your friend(s) to sleepover with beauty treatments' just thought could also make up makeup baskets have loads unused MAC etc will need to sell off - thank you for your ideas

it will no longer be practical to do bridals, my partner used to have girls when went out to a job which could be up to 50 miles away and with no car and no one to look after them just cant do it - he's now had to take on extra work just to keep head above water, but think place will be repossed he's missed to any payments

he's basically taken the car to sell i think before its reposessed as i guess hasnt been making payments on that either
he hasnt left - its his house and i have no stake in it as the girls are not his. i think he thinks things could blow over , but its totally finished for me, i absolutely despise him. he's not actually violent to us so we're in no danger but i need to save for couple months to get deposit to rent place so im just keeping out of his way and plan to leave in the new year
he works shifts so our paths rarely cross which is why i had absolutely no ideas about his gambling habbit - used to work for a stockbrokers and was used to the high life, was made redundant just after we got together and had to take low paid job, he said gambling and the whole glamorous scene took him back to his old life and the excitement of the risks. he said he took my money because he thought he could double it for me, no wonder he was made redundant!

jcpark, you story is so inspirational .. you must be so proud of yourself and your children are so lucky to have had such a strong mother who put them first. both at uni, thats brilliant - will pm you this evening if thats ok, just popping out now x

 

[sarah_clancy]

I'm a single mum, had to return to the uk from Australia (living the dream!) whilst pregnant, to my parents.. I had nothing whatsoever, after my ex breaking up with me..
Baby came and I struggled for 10 months living on benefits, till I could take no more...
Started up my own freelance hair business, my little boy went to a childminder on a weds thurs and Friday, my client base built up really quickly, and I do the odd Saturday if I can get family to muck in and help with childcare.
September came and I now have started my level 3 so I can eventually go into teaching, strings and bows ay!!
My son has just turned 2 and I've just brought an almost brand new car, the feeling of succeeding and actually getting back in control of my life for me and my son is just amazing, I'm The only one that can provide so I'm going to do the best that I can.
Can't you look into getting a babysitter for Saturday mornings for your brides? They only charge per hour, and im sure you would earn much more!

Whatever you do don't give up!!!

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

best of luck x x x

 

[Zo Zo]

Are you married sarahc?

 

[Miss Sparkle]

Aw Sarahc you sound like a really good mum Try freecycle too for free things you could 'upcycle' and paint to make your own for Xmas ..

 

[Zo Zo]

I love Shellac. I know you said it hasn't taken off for you but if it did, it's really good for repeat bookings.

 

[beautybeauty]

Hi there

Im normally a lurker on this forum and dont post often but i couldnt read and run.

I really feel for you. It cant be easy. Dont underestimate your kids. Im sure they will understand if this christmas is not the same as the last. Do your best hun. If anything make a resolution that you will work very hard in the coming year and xmas 2012 will be different.

If your thinking of doin lash extensions then maybe consider threading too. A local girl here does a package deal of brows and lashes and she does well for herself. Might be useful for you to do some market research and see whats popular?

Trust me your well shot of your partner. Maybe see a solicitor about recovering money. Im not sure where you are in the country but see if you can get a 30 min free consultation with one or a local citizens advice bureau.

Finally i would advise you against selling your make up as things could change again and you could find some work i.e. Maybe consider getting to know a local hairdresser that you could team up with for bridal work? Just a suggestion. But if you really want to sell i might be interested so just pm me and i would love to help you out.

All the very very best hun. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

Z

 

[TracyS]

Bloody marvellous idea to team up with a local hairdresser for bridal, you'd be amazed how many brides don't get married on a weekend, I've had 6 in the last 4 weeks getting married on a weekday and am off to another Friday wedding in a couple of weeks. If a bride is going to the hairdressers to get her hair done, she can get her make up done there a well.

You will earn far more doing a couple of hours of that than you would have to pay a sitter so don't sell your kit, think of a way around it.

Christmas party make up is on the horizon as well - another evening/weekday outlet for your skills.

Single mums (and dads) are a force to be reckoned with I think. Quite often they've had their whole lives turned upside down and the only person they can rely on is themselves so woe betide anyone who gets in their way when they want something for their kids.

You can do it, you will make it work and you will be stronger on the other side of it!