Inheritance....

[nails_4_U]

Has anyone had any dilemmas with family inheritance? Long story short my Nanna has always planned on dividing her possessions between her two children, her son and daughter (my mother). My uncle passed away late last year and my mother assumed that she was getting the lot but my Nanna has now announced that she is dividing her sons half between us 3 grand daughters. My mother is going off her head now as we earn a good income and she believes we don't "need" it. I don't think it should be who needs it but who the person leaving it to chooses to leave it to. I am very hurt and now feel guilty when I know I shouldn't

 

[dandelionpoppy]

I agree, nails4 u.
Also, your Mum needs to consider that there may not be ANYTHING should her mother need residential care.

 

[nails_4_U]

So cranky...

 

[nails_4_U]

I agree, nails4 u.
Also, your Mum needs to consider that there may not be ANYTHING should her mother need residential care.

So very true,.. My Nanna is 86 now and still live by herself and does all her gardening. Trooper

 

[soriminah]

To be extremely blunt - I think your mother is very ungrateful for all her mother has done for her over the years raising her and is now expecting it all to be handed to her on a platter. I don't understand people who expect that they are entitled to someone else's hard earned money - your Nanna should be enjoying herself with her money.

Money does bring out the worst in people though. You should tell your Mum that it just means you get to enjoy your inheritance before she dies instead of waiting until she does :evil:

 

[jimjamjarz]

No offence to your mother but that's really selfish! It's just greed as it's not like your mum is getting any less just that your getting some!! This could help you out and you've got more to spend in your future than her I'm sure? Sorry just my opinion! Xx

 

[Baggybear]

I have recently lost my nan and if my mum behaved in the way your mum is doing I would be inclinded to tell her that she should count herself lucky to be having anything as an inheritance at all.

Your nan is within her rights to leave her things & money to whoever she sees fit. The cats home, a donkey sanctury etc.. Your mum should be careful as your nan could cut her out of the will totally so the whole lot is shared amongst the grandchildren.

Unfortunatley money does tend to bring the worst out in people.

I was really really happy to be told I was getting something when my nan passed, it is an item & not money so it will remind me of her.

 

[soriminah]

I was really really happy to be told I was getting something when my nan passed, it is an item & not money so it will remind me of her.

When my grandad was dying, I said to Mum there was only 1 thing I wanted. It was a small trinket I gave to Grandad when I was little which says 'I love my grandad'. As far as I'm concerned no amount of money could replace that and it sits on my dresser. I also have his old reusable razor (I used to use it as a teenager and tore my legs to shreds with the old blue blades) and his wallet (with no money in it - lol).

 

[ellewopter]

It is your Nanna;s money, therefore it is her choice, she worked for it and nobody has the right to decide for her or quibble her decision.

It has nothing to do with need or right but the want of the person leaving it. I think that is truly awful (sorry to be blunt) If I were in your Nannas situation, I would rather leave your mothers share to a cat or spend it all on smarties.

Have you approached her? and DONT FEEL GUILTY!!! I am having a similar situation (noone died) my mum thinks my sister should have what my grandparents want to leave me

 

[gr8nailz]

Money tends to make monsters out of ordinarily nice people. I saw it in my husband's grown children from a previous marriage. They badgered my husband until he gave them 2/3's of my son's inheritance which he was to receive on his 21st birthday.

I never understood how come my son's brother and sister just couldn't be happy that the grandfather that they never took the time to see, even after they knew he was dying, had left Kellen such an amazing financial legacy. Rather, they felt they were deserving simply because they shared the same DNA as he. If they had simply asked, I'm sure he would have shared it. Now he doesn't even speak to them.

The same with your mother. Why can't she just be happy that your Nana has given you this gift? Instead, it appears she feels entitled.

I'll never understand.

 

[nails_4_U]

Thank you all for confirming what I thought. My mother has always had everything handed to her as a child. Very spoilt. She is now a very selfish, spolit woman who wants everything but not willing to work for it. I did speak to her yesterday after I saw her having a mega rant on Facebooks (very mature) about only getting half of the inheritance. The thing that really erks me is that she is still getting what she was always ment to get until my uncle passed.

When I called her she I helling in tears down the phone saying that she will never be able to buy a house and that us grandkids dont "need" it as we are young and earn good income so we have plenty of time to buy a house.

As I tried to explain to my mum is that we made a huge sacrifice a year ago and moved to a mining town so my partner can make some good money and set us up for the rest of our lives. Moving here was a huge sacrifice, we have no friends, no family around, and this town has nothing for a family who dont have a 4wd other than going to the pool (and there is only so many times I can do that over 6 weeks school holidays).

When my Nanna does pass away this will help us get out of this town and back closer to family and friends alot quicker than our plan.

I never expected anything from my family and my Nanna really surprised me when she choose to tell me this when I phoned to say Merry Xmas (something I dont even think my Mum did). It broke my heart that my Nanna has made sure that everyone has been looked after and she is so at peace with the fact that she knows she doesnt have too much longer on earth. She has paid for her plot and the whole funeral so there is nothing left for anyone to deal with. Proud that she is my Nan, just wish I didnt have such a spoilt brat for a mother :irked: Thanks everyone for the rant, feel alot better :o

 

[nails_4_U]

When my grandad was dying, I said to Mum there was only 1 thing I wanted. It was a small trinket I gave to Grandad when I was little which says 'I love my grandad'. As far as I'm concerned no amount of money could replace that and it sits on my dresser. I also have his old reusable razor (I used to use it as a teenager and tore my legs to shreds with the old blue blades) and his wallet (with no money in it - lol).

Thats beautiful, I have asked my Nanna to leave me her porcelin (SP?) dolls. I always admired them as a child and in my teens purchased 2 of my own. They always remind me of hers when I look at them

 

[Penny Vintage]

This is a topic ive had alot to do with recently. My nan inherited alot and my uncle invested it all! My nan has less in her bank than before now..
As everyone says, money changes people and heightens bad traits.
I personally think that you and your cousins deserve it more, as your at the ages when you all start familys, have mortgages etc. that in my mind is more deserving of abit of inheritance.

 

[gr8nailz]

Your Nan sounds like a very sweet woman who's made a very thoughtful and conscious decision. It's being left to her grandchildren who seem not to feel entitled, as apparently her own daughter does.

Enjoy the gift your Nan has given you. It has come at a high price for her...she's lost a loved one. But she's giving it out of love and she giving it because she thinks you are deserving of it. Most importantly, don't feel guilty.

Your mom is a grown-a** woman. Ather age, she should have provided for herself. She's still getting the inheritance she expected...no less. Her having posted on FB and ranting all over the place about others receiving "her" inheritance makes her look selfish and greedy.

I'm afraid that's really what she is.

 

[dandelionpoppy]

It's also clear that she thinks a lot of you as she is leaving a half between all 3 rather than just her son's daughter(s).
I hope she doesn't know of your Mum's attitude.

I also hope she has many more years of happy life ahead of her. Perhaps during that time she will come to be treated better by her daughter, then there can be no regrets about hurtful behaviour. x

 

[Elaine143a]

Thank you all for confirming what I thought. My mother has always had everything handed to her as a child. Very spoilt. She is now a very selfish, spolit woman who wants everything but not willing to work for it. :o

Maybe your nan is somewhat to blame for your mother's behaviour (as quote above) - without meaning to be rude or nasty about your nan. Perhaps by leaving her grandchildren their inheritance directly, she has seen her errors and wants to make sure they will get it rather than her "spoilt" daughter spending or wasting it on herself only. I think your mother is being totally unreasonable, but I dont know her or her situation, I just totally believe that people are entitled to leave whatever they like to whomever they like (as long as they are not coerced into something when they dont quite understand what exactly they are doing - but it sounds like your nan is perfectly aware of what she is doing - RESPECT to her.)

I just hope this doesn't cause a huge family rift :hug:

 

[nails_4_U]

Well latest update. Mum has gotten herself do riled up she was at the hospital getting mentally assessed as she flipped out. She is also going through menopause and I guess this is the straw that broke the camels back. Don't worry I take no offense from anyone's comments about my mum. Love her cos she is my mum but geez she is a looper sometimes. Spoke to Nanna today. Didn't tell her whats going on just to leave it with me and I'll sort it out. Mum is back home today and goes back on Monday. Really hope she pulls her head outta her a** or it's going to be a long drive (1800km) to kick it for her

 

[bombini]

Its a shame your mum has had this reaction. As a mother myself, if I was left an inheritance I would give some of it to my son anyway it wouldn't even cross my mind to keep it all myself. I can be quite stubborn and selfish but when it comes to my son id give him my last penny.

 

[marion]

I'd say your mum has gone a bit nuts because of the dreaded menopause. Its a horrid stage