My daughter (age 12) has just had a fish pedicure, so angry!

[Aromababy]

Although I can understand how annoyed you feel with the salon for doing the pedicure without your consent, I do feel that in this case it is a failing on both your part and the salon's. If you are willing to allow your daughter to go into town unsupervised at 12, then as I think soneone else previously said, you got off lightly.
I was 15 before my mum allowed me to go into town with friends and that was 16 years ago, certain dangers weren't as well documented back then as they are today.
I think in this case the responsibility is 60% yours hon, the salon staff did also do wrong but they probably assumed that parental consent has more or less been given when a 12 year old is allowed to go off without an adult, but they still should have refused her.
What's done is done now, she wasn't harmed in any way, take it as a lucky escape.

I also think more should be done to monitor and regulate these so called fish spas, there is a "cash for gold" place in the town where I live that suddenly decided they were also a spa and plonked a couple of tanks next to the counter and a sign in the window offering fish pedis for £10. The water in the tanks looks green and the sign is crudely fashioned from a piece of cardboard torn from a box flap with the price hand written boldy with a ball point pen. Bizarre!!

N x

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[Gina Ballerina]

I have no comment with regards to your parenting skills because it's none of my business and I think people have a bit of a nerve bringing it up.

I would be appalled if a child of mine was given any treatment without consent (under 16) i wouldn't treat a minor in my salon for any treatment without consent.

I wonder if their insurance would be invalid without parental consent and i wonder if they should have a crb to be working with children.

Sounds like you live in a lovely place! I hope the teddy is ok

 

[deanosnana]

I have no comment with regards to your parenting skills because it's none of my business and I think people have a bit of a nerve bringing it up.

Sounds like you live in a lovely place! I hope the teddy is ok

I think when one posts a question/concern,etc. in a public forum, then it does become everyone's business. People will comment and we may/may not like what is said. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I hope the teddy bear is OK, too!

 

[sandy29]

none of my business and I think people have a bit of a nerve bringing it up.

Well it depends on the situation. In this case the OP was angry with the salon for performing a treatment on an unsupervised / unconsented 12 yr old. While yes like most I agree 100% they shouldn've have performed treatment, I think the real issue here is an unsupervised 12 year old. If you don't like what your 12 year old gets up to when you're not around, then don't let them out alone.

and this arguement of a 'safe' town versus America has actually annoyed me and 12 being an OK age to be let out alone. Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped from outside her home in broad daylight and she was 11. There are many kidnappings and muders in Europe and the UK and even here in Ireland which would be described as rural and idealic.(I wouldn't walk anywhere alone and I'm nearly 30)

The fish spa won't be the end of it all I'm afraid, how about the cinema people that'll allow her into an 18's film, or the shop owner that will sell her cigarettes, or the club owner that'll sell her drink, or the doctor that will prescribe her the pill and give her condoms and advise on safe sex.
Unfortuantely it'll all happen whether you like it or admit it or not, she is growing up and pushing the boundaries and you cannot blame other people for you not knowing or liking what your child gets up to. Think back to your youth and what you did that would enrage and upset your parents if they knew.

 

[VHunter]

I think when one posts a question/concern,etc. in a public forum, then it does become everyone's business. People will comment and we may/may not like what is said. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I hope the teddy bear is OK, too!

Hmmmmmm not entirely sure I would agree.
She wasn't asking for advice about parenting skills, nor judgements.
The issue that was at hand was about a Salon performing services on a minor without parental consent.
Whether the child is 12 or 15, it still comes down to the Salon doing something it ought not to.
Whether it's her child, or someone else's up the street and she just happened to walk by and witness the Salon performing these services on a minor.

While I do agree that we leave ourselves open to opinions that oppose our own, by posting on a public forum; I do think that there's a "Line" in some cases.

BUT THEN AGAIN, if she posted her daughter was 12 and walking about drunk in the shopping center....?

Hence why I say "not entirely sure I would agree".

 

[deanosnana]

Hmmmmmm not entirely sure I would agree.
She wasn't asking for advice about parenting skills, nor judgements.
The issue that was at hand was about a Salon performing services on a minor without parental consent.
Whether the child is 12 or 15, it still comes down to the Salon doing something it ought not to.
Whether it's her child, or someone else's up the street and she just happened to walk by and witness the Salon performing these services on a minor.

While I do agree that we leave ourselves open to opinions that oppose our own, by posting on a public forum; I do think that there's a "Line" in some cases.

BUT THEN AGAIN, if she posted her daughter was 12 and walking about drunk in the shopping center....?

Hence why I say "not entirely sure I would agree".

You are right VHunter, she wasn't asking about parenting skills. But, ask yourself this question: if there had been an adult with the child, do you think the fish pedi would have happened?

I am in no way passing judgement, just being realistic.

Yes, the 'salon' was wrong, but...

If I had posted a similar thread, I would expect to read some of the comments that have been posted.

 

[VHunter]

If I had posted a similar thread, I would expect to read some of the comments that have been posted.

True enough.
We are an opinionated lot, we geeks:wink2:
LOL

 

[Aromababy]

You are right VHunter, she wasn't asking about parenting skills. But, ask yourself this question: if there had been an adult with the child, do you think the fish pedi would have happened?

I am in no way passing judgement, just being realistic.

Yes, the 'salon' was wrong, but...

If I had posted a similar thread, I would expect to read some of the comments that have been posted.

Think you have made the point I was going for lol, I just went to every house on the street on the way there haha xx

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[SteffiMc]

I also think more should be done to monitor and regulate these so called fish spas, there is a "cash for gold" place in the town where I live that suddenly decided they were also a spa and plonked a couple of tanks next to the counter and a sign in the window offering fish pedis for £10. The water in the tanks looks green and the sign is crudely fashioned from a piece of cardboard torn from a box flap with the price hand written boldy with a ball point pen. Bizarre!!

N x

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Oh no that's horrific how are they getting away with that!! Surely no1 would be daft enough to use a grubby thing like that!!! Poor fish

 

[blush09]

thanks everyone for your ongoing comments / support.. i cant believe this thread has gone on so long :0

can i just say i didnt take the decision to let my daughter start going into town @ 12 yrs old with her friends 'lightly' she was actually one of the last of her friends to be allowed to, most started going @ 11 when they went secondary school.. there are risks everywhere, but i cant keep her at home forever wrapped in cotton wool

she walks 30 mins to school and back along a very busy road and then through a wooded area .. as do several hundred of the other kids in her year - the school is a long way from most of the residential part of town and not one of them is escorted by a parent, its something they just have to get on with otherwise they wouldnt get to school - so i dont see it being a problem my daughter going into town for a couple of hours with her friends for a mooch around the shops and a milkshake on a saturday

also, i dont have to jusify the reasons i am happy let her go out by herself.. but her dad works in town and she pretty much bumps into him every time she is there, she knows lots of adults who work there too as we live in a small community, my sister runs a shop so if she ever needs anything she can go to her .. pretty much every kid in town congregates there and then meet up on the common - its something the kids have done around here for decades (did i mention not much happens round these parts, lol) i know where she is, i know she is safe, i know she is happy .. her being in town unescorted is not the issue, well not for me anyway

and before anyone says she should have asked for her dads consent etc .. my daughter didnt actually know she had to, parental consent forms are not no.1 topic of conversation in our house so she wasnt aware they were doing wrong .. she does now lol

I started this post as Im angry and apalled that a fish spa 'salon' if you can call it that, spotted my daughter and her friends walking round the market, made a beeline for them, basically wouldnt take no for an answer and let them all dip their feet in a tank of bacteria soup as geeg called it .. without so much as asking for my permission !!!!!!

btw .. still cant get in touch with them and unable to go out as lo is unwell, but my friend has contacted the local council who commented it was 'interesting'

 

[blush09]

OMG .. im just reading back some of the posts again .. do i live in the only town in the world where kids go out alone at 12 yrs of age - and younger???

perhaps we really are lucky and just dont realise how safe our town and community is !!!

you'd be shocked to hear that around 50% of my daughters friends get the train to cambridge by themselves and hang out in hollister and down by the punts .. we are having issues atm as i wont let her go just yet, as i think on this occasion she is too young to travel to a big city that she doesnt know so well but id consider it when she's 14 or 15


i actually wonder if some of the people who are so shocked that i let my daughter out with her friends at age 12, have kids themselves? because in an ideal world ...

btw, my nephew is 13 next week and will be starting an early morning paper round, i best get on the phone to my sister and tell her to set her alarm for 6am so she can follow him round

sorry, sarcasmn isnt in my nature .. i am fully aware that everyone is entitled to their opion, but come on ..

 

[Blue Rose]

OMG .. im just reading back some of the posts again .. is saffron walden really the only town in the world where kids go out alone at 12 yrs of age - and younger???

perhaps we really are lucky and just dont realise how safe our town and community is !!!

you'd be shocked to hear that around 50% of my daughters friends get the train to cambridge by themselves and hang out in hollister and down by the punts .. we are having issues atm as i wont let her go just yet, as i think on this occasion she is too young to travel to a big city that she doesnt know so well but id consider it when she's 14 or 15


i actually wonder if some of the people who are so shocked that i let my daughter out with her friends at age 12, have kids themselves? because in an ideal world ...

btw, my nephew is 13 next week and will be starting an early morning paper round, i best get on the phone to my sister and tell her to set her alarm for 6am so she can follow him round

sorry, sarcasmn isnt in my nature .. i am fully aware that everyone is entitled to their opion, but come on ..

No, you're not alone. Felixstowe is another safe little town & most children from the age of 11/12 go into town with their friends.
Very few go into Ipswich though at that age!

I think I'd be a bit miffed too if my daughter was given the hard sell & practically dragged in off the street.

 

[Tigan]

I think every mother has a natural instinct to know if her child is ready for something or not, some children mature faster than others and are less likely to be under any threat, also there is safety in numbers, generally speaking we all know that no-where is as safe as it used to be and so we have to be more careful in preparing them for their independance, the fact that her mother gave her a phone is a safety net for her mothers peace of mind, also she had enough money on her, thats another safety net, albeit she spent half of it on a fish pedi, lol, remember the girl is 12, that means she's about to start senior high school and with regards to the fish pedi, sales people, if they are luring people off the streets then they are desparate for the custom and when they are like that they tend not to take No for an answer, they can be very persuasive
But i really think that each mum has to go with her own gut instinct, we all have one, and no-one has a right to dictate to this mother whether she should or she shouldnt allow her 12yr old to go to the shops with her friends

 

[blush09]

I think every mother has a natural instinct to know if her child is ready for something or not, some children mature faster than others and are less likely to be under any threat, also there is safety in numbers, generally speaking we all know that no-where is as safe as it used to be and so we have to be more careful in preparing them for their independance, the fact that her mother gave her a phone is a safety net for her mothers peace of mind, also she had enough money on her, thats another safety net, albeit she spent half of it on a fish pedi, lol, remember the girl is 12, that means she's about to start senior high school and with regards to the fish pedi, sales people, if they are luring people off the streets then they are desparate for the custom and when they are like that they tend not to take No for an answer, they can be very persuasive
But i really think that each mum has to go with her own gut instinct, we all have one, and no-one has a right to dictate to this mother whether she should or she shouldnt allow her 12yr old to go to the shops with her friends

thank you tigan

you're spot on - gut instinct plays a big part in all of this, my daughter is now in yr 8 so starting her 2nd yr of secondary school and as i said before i have only just started to let her go out by herself, she's one of the youngest in her year and i dont think she's as streetwise or mature as some of the other girls that take themselves off to cambridge for the day and thats why i dont let her go just yet

tbh more often than not im in town doing a spot of shopping or having a coffee myself, and we usually bump into each other and sometimes if she's had enough she'll come home with me -the novelty soon wears off when she's hungry and tired, lol

 

[FieryRed]

Completely agree Tigan, at the end of the day, everybody needs to take responsibility, and we cant always point fingers at other parents for the choices they make regarding their children. Everyones situation and family is different. Those of us that have children know that you CANNOT wrap your children in cotton wool their whole lives (as much as we would like to though lol..)

These 'Fish Spa Therapists' I assume are adults, and should behave in a responsible manner. Part of that responsibility includes getting parental consent for treatments, or turning anyone under age away.
They have as much responsibility in society as what I or anyone else here does.

 

[Diana-Jane]

Blush I fully understand you as my daughter is 12 but the youngest in her class. Her friends are always going into town, cinema & shops but where we live is relatively small and quiet so i've eventually given her a little freedom and responsibility and she gets to go too on occasion. If this had been my daughter i would be a bit annoyed too, not sure in this case if i would complain to them but i wouldnt be happy!
Its illegal to carry out beauty treatments on a minor without parental consent, full stop. I dont know why anything else is being discussed here.
Shocked at some of the replies to this post.
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[jacqueline]

Its illegal to carry out beauty treatments on a minor without parental consent, full stop. I dont know why anything else is being discussed here.
Shocked at some of the replies to this post.
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using SalonGeek

Couldn't agree more.

 

[dandelionpoppy]

I think it was wrong to do the treatment. I suspect that the "therapist" aka saleswoman, is under pressure to hit targets. She may be commission-only based. Also, while some 12 year olds look like 12, some look a lot older. Not excuses, just perhaps reasons why it happened.

 

[jacqueline]

Whilst I was back in the UK earlier this year I was over in Hanley visiting some friends and I noticed The Potteries shopping centre had a new Fish pedicure place where they were trying really hard to entice people in. (I don't think they were therapists just sales folks in T shirts).

I was watching from afar outside and they came over to me and were like come in come in it the latest thing blah blah and I politely said no thanks and explained I own my own spa and would never have these things, notwithstanding they are banned by the FDA where I live.

She just moved onto the next mark.

 

[deanosnana]

actually wonder if some of the people who are so shocked that i let my daughter out with her friends at age 12, have kids themselves? because in an ideal world ...

btw, my nephew is 13 next week and will be starting an early morning paper round, i best get on the phone to my sister and tell her to set her alarm for 6am so she can follow him round

sorry, sarcasmn isnt in my nature .. i am fully aware that everyone is entitled to their opion, but come on ..

Yes, I do have children and a grandson.

I personally don't think the sarcasm is warranted. You posted a thread, people who answered have OPINIONS. Nowhere did I read where anyone said you are a terrible mom.

If you don't agree with the opinions posted, so be it. But we are entitled to them just the same.

I sincerely wish you all the best!