My Daughter & THE BIG CHAT ?????

[glitz]

Hi guys my 10 year old daughter came home from school yesterday and said "mum whats the big chat?" "PC Midgely (school contact bobby) came to school and we had a video and a talk on rape, bodies etc and he said before we have the second part of our talk "The Big Chat" with our teacher and another video to ask our parents a little about it she said it frightened her a little but she couldnt explain why, (havent had chance to talk to any other mums yet on what it entailed but will later). What I would like to know is if anybody has any suggestions about a good little easy read simple book I could get her to help undertand what it is we are talking about, I did sort of start telling her about sex but she got too confused so I said I would look for a book to help us.

 

[tonilee]

Hi guys my 10 year old daughter came home from school yesterday and said "mum whats the big chat?" "PC Midgely (school contact bobby) came to school and we had a video and a talk on rape, bodies etc and he said before we have the second part of our talk "The Big Chat" with our teacher and another video to ask our parents a little about it she said it frightened her a little but she couldnt explain why, (havent had chance to talk to any other mums yet on what it entailed but will later). What I would like to know is if anybody has any suggestions about a good little easy read simple book I could get her to help undertand what it is we are talking about, I did sort of start telling her about sex but she got too confused so I said I would look for a book to help us.

OMG I cant believe the school did that without prior warning you?!! Our daughter just had the same sort of chat....well it was about puberty as opposed to rape and bodies (poor little ones!!) If I were you I would just explain it all in your own words in a way you know your daughter will understand. I bought all number of books and ended up angry at the bleeding things for the ridiculous way things get explained.....I ended up sat at the traffic lights one busy friday night when Chloe said that she had a letter about the "sex ed talk" and what was it...I just explained as best as I could......and then let her ask away whatever she needed to ask. It made it much less complicated in my opinion.......

hth

 

[gillian w]

The Usbourne book called Growing up is a really good book.Not sure if you can still get it but if you can i highly recommend it. http://www.usborne.com/catalogue/browse.asp?css=1&cat=1&subject=R&subcat=RS&id=62 there you go found a link.

 

[glitz]

Tonilee .... it was your blog that prompted me to ask for the help of geeks LOL your head mut have been battered when you finally dropped her off. I might broach it with her this weekend, I cant believe we were not fore warned but I have to check I haven't missed a letter yet she is a bugger for leaving them in her tray! xxx

Thanks Gillian will have a look now. xxx

 

[Marley's Ghost]

must be in the curriculum, mine has that yesterday as well

 

[glitz]

How did she take it?

 

[deanosnana]

I HIGHLY recommend the book: What's Happening to My Body? Book for Girls. The authors are: Lynda Madaras and Area Madaras. I bought the book for boys version for my sons and it was a lifesaver.

The book is well written (I read thru it first before I gave it to my oldest son) and easy to understand. My sons were a tad older tho, when I gave it to them.

I just checked Amazon and they have a version for younger girls.

I wish you the very best! :hug:

 

[Marley's Ghost]

How did she take it?

She thought it was hilarious. . .

They were encouraged to 'explore' themselves in the bath??? I don't think it was a homework assignment though, at least I hope not

 

[rachp]

im a bit shocked at that! not a prude or owt but ... ooh just sounds awful for schools to be saying that sort of stuff to 10 year olds ('explore' yourself in the bath) OMG I must be getting old!!

 

[sian1979]

i had that usbourne book when i was younger lol...i remember thinking it was quite good....as my mum didnt really have a talk with me ...just gave me the book and told to read it.
i cant believe they would do all this with our warning you, i mean i think its good that they are have sex ed and all that.....but to go on about rape at 10 years old.......must have been soo scary for them.

 

[hippy-chick]

I've tried doing "the talk" with my 10 year old, he just looks mortified and reminds me that he is ONLY A CHILD AND PLEASE DESIST!

I would rather do the explanation before school does, but up until now, he's not had any sex ed.

i did ask him (mid-mortification) if he would prefer to hear the "talk" from me or his dad. I was made up to hear him say 3 precious letters D-A-D!!!

 

[glitz]

She thought it was hilarious. . .

They were encouraged to 'explore' themselves in the bath??? I don't think it was a homework assignment though, at least I hope not

Oh my .... she never mentioned anything about that I think I would curl up if she asked me about that .

Think I will just get a book going to Waterstones tomorow they are bound to have something.

 

[~Emmsybabes~]

I think I would flip my lid if the school talked to my almost 10 year old daughter about rape and exploring herself...
I mean I'm sorry but in my opinion that is sooo wrong it really is..

I am all for my children being happy and content with their own bodies and to embrace a stable loving relationship and all that palava... But come on 9/ 10 years old, I don't think so !

I had the talk with both my girls already, and as both my children are totally different I did it in different ways for each of them....the way I knew my children would take it,

I don't fluff it all up and make it rose tinted but I do it in a way I think they can handle..

I know that schools often get the blame for not giving enough sex ed... but come on there is a bloomin line to draw...
Do these people who make these decisions really think none of us are capable of teaching our children ourselves, and some things just shouldn't be spoke about in a classroom full of school friends...

And I know a few mates who spent years trying to stop their babies from 'exploring' lol... then a few years down the line some teacher is telling them to go ahead and do it....

I do think sex education is a good thing, although it sounds here like I don't.... I think its good to get girls and boy's talking about it in a sensible way together... but some things NOPE just too much for such a young age IMO
Madness...madness I tell you
:lol:

 

[soriminah]

I'm 31 and I'm still waiting for 'THE' talk from Mum .

My sister is a nurse and she explained everything to her daughter as she was growing up using correct anatomical terms and matter of factly.

As she asked her Mum questions, my sister would answer them. It has helped my niece form a close relationship with her Mum where she can ask her anything without emberassement and she got the correct information instead of what the other school kids told her.

'Where did I come from' and 'Whats happening to me' are fantastic books.

 

[tonilee]

I hate to be contraversial BUT

They will be exploring themselves anyway......its natural completely natural, and its best to know thats its all normal and acceptable and whats what (in terms of naming body parts and so forth) but these things are all just a part of life. People in life have more hang ups related to S e x than anything else.
I think its more healthy to let a child do whats natural. At the end of the day with or without our blessings children will do what they want/what they need to do and alot of this IS about need!! Need to explore yourself! If they know its normal and natural then bang goes the taboo.
How many problems is there in life assosiated with Taboo? (I wont even get started on that one!!)
Would you prefer your child to be "exploring themselves" but thinking they shouldnt be, and be feeling wrong and dirty about it all??
Im not suggesting for a milli second that you tell them to go off and explore cos they have you blessing :lol: But by just accepting these things as a part of thier education in books/discussions/questions and so forth/

Dont get me wrong the entire concept makes me shudder, these are my bubbas I would be much happier if they stayed little and innocent forever!! But getting this bit right has a massive impact on them in later life, its all natural and normal!!