Problems standing up for yourself

[Lucy-Jayne]

I for one know that I have a problem standing up for myself.

It's starting to cause me a bit of a problem at the moment cos there are some things when I really need to do it and have such a problem doing it!

It's certainly a problem in the work place (where I'm actually the boss) and general confrontation when complaining about work related services. In the work place I am actually younger than everyone else so I feel I'm not respected as much as someone else that might be older.

And every time I'm thinking I need to bring something up, I'm saying to myself it's my bl88dy salon and I should be able to do what I want etc! But sometimes I still hold back. I get the usual hot flustered feeling!

Does anyone else have / had this problem? If so, how do you work around it or what helped you get around it and assert yourself as a manager/owner?

 

[Sals]

I think this is a fairly common problem for most new managers. I know when I first became a manager I wouldn't say boo to a goose for fear of causing confrontation. I also had staff a fair bit older than me.

In the end I had a couple of staff members who weren't pulling their weight, which was solely down to me for not commanding their respect and allowing them to think I was a soft touch.

The advice I was given was to hold fortnightly staff meetings to outline what I expected from everyone and to address any problems. This let them know what they were meant to be doing without any ambiguity. Therefore if they failed to perform (unless there were circumstances beyond their control) then I felt confident to take them aside and confront them.

If people know that you are in control and know what you are doing then they will soon come to treat you with respect.

 

[RedAdmiral]

I'm the same :o I never had this in my old job I was managing 14 staff in 3 diff depts now there's only 3 of us and I feel I cant rock the boat. we're all sitting looking out the window of a dusty salon. I'm opposit i have young early twenties who just dont listen to me when i say phones away, its fine for a day then next day mobiles are back out again. These are really testing times at mo and we're doing 70% of the work in 30% of the hours so we all need to be pro-active and motivated. I dont want to have to be telling my staff all the time what they should be doing as a bad atmosphere is NOT what I need!

I do understand where Sals is coming from tho structured meetings do help, I'm writing new cleaning lists and what to do when its quiet lists - at least if they are not completed then I have grounds to take it further

 

[Kim Lawless]

You don't have to be aggressive to get the message across. People treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you so you can't really blame them as you may be sending out mixed messages.

It's nice to be friendly with your staff but there is always a divide, like it or not. xxx

 

[Lucy-Jayne]

I'm the same :o I never had this in my old job I was managing 14 staff in 3 diff depts now there's only 3 of us and I feel I cant rock the boat. we're all sitting looking out the window of a dusty salon. I'm opposit i have young early twenties who just dont listen to me when i say phones away, its fine for a day then next day mobiles are back out again. These are really testing times at mo and we're doing 70% of the work in 30% of the hours so we all need to be pro-active and motivated. I dont want to have to be telling my staff all the time what they should be doing as a bad atmosphere is NOT what I need!

I think this is the point that I was trying to put across. It such a small working environment, the minute anything is said it created a horrible atmosphere..... and the result only lasts for a day or so.

I have my lists for people but as soon as something's not done or not done correctly and I say something... I feel awful because of the atmosphere I've created. Even simple things like you've left lipstick marks on the mug after washing them, please can you make sure that you don't do it again!

Kim will remember this example when she came to my salon to teach us intimate waxing and she found me on the floor cleaning wax off of it with everyone else standing round chatting. She went nuts at me! But I know perfectly well that if I'd have said something I'd have got the looks and the words under the breath etc. (I don't generally make a habit of doing things like that)

I suppose I probably live in my own little dream world that people working for you should just do their job and you shouldn't have to go around after them reminding them. But all I've experienced is that people who work for you generally don't seem to care as much as you do. But it's getting this point across that I find difficult.

Christ, if I was to say phones away I'd get the daggers for a month. (Obviously they're not used in front of customers)

It was only last week that I put parental controls on the internet cos I was sick of it being used when I was busy, and I got daggers and attitude for days. It's ridiculous, parental controls!!

 

[mely-bely]

Speaking up for yourself and how you want your salon run is not confrontational. It only becomes that way if your employees take it to that level. That's not on you, its on them. If they don't like the guidelines for your salon - they can certainly take it elsewhere with a firm, "don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out!". You are running a professional salon - not a daycare. It sounds like your employees need to grow up. YOU have worked so hard to get where you are - don't let their behaviour get you down.

I found the easiest way to deal with this kind of thing is to lay out all of your guidelines in writing, have each employee sign off on them by initialing each one (I kept a copy in their employment file) and let them know that I would not need their service if they could not abide by the guidelines they had just agreed to. It worked well for me and was rarely confrontational because I just had to point out that said employee had agreed in writing to follow the guidelines.

Good luck!

 

[fiona wallace]

This is a VERY common problem, particularly with women....most of us want everyone to like them and don't enjoy confrontation. This is the one area of business that let me down in my early years.

I learned that you OWE it to your staff to be truthful and open with them. Take Mely's advice and be specific about what you require of them, they then know exactly where they stand and if they cross the line you MUST address the issue IMMEDIATELY. Letting things fester helps no-one and especially not you.:hug:

Always ask yourself 'What is the worst thing that can happen here?' You will find that if you approach them regarding their behaviour, etc, then one of several things will happen, they will go in a huff (tough *****!), they will get a fright and change their behaviour (great!), they will feel more involved in the business and take responsibility for improving (even better!), or they will leave (sounds good to me!).

I really think you will be much happier, feel better about yourself, give a better service, run a better business altogether if you take control...NOW!:Grope:

I wish you all the best, I absolutely know you can do this!:hug:

 

[Zo Zo]

Leading by example is always a good idea. You have to be squeaky clean and uber professional yourself. If you don't want staff to use their phones, don't use yours. If you don't want staff on the net, don't use the net (unless it's work related) and if you want cleaning done between treatments, make sure you are busy yourself between treatments. If a job needs doing, you could suggest you do it together, e.g. 'Can you help me fold these towels / clean these mirrors / restock these shelves / whatever the task is.' You can always excuse yourself after a few minutes, 'oh, just remembered I need to... '

 

[Kim Lawless]

It's a sad fact that most employees see the owner of the salon as being someone with loads of money when the truth is, is they saw your overheads, they wouldn't sleep at night.

Of course you want to get on with your staff but at the end of the day, you're paying them to work for you. Otherwise, you might as well cut your costs and do it yourself.

I would call a staff meeting and without being aggressive, tell them how you feel without whining.....be assertive. Tell them that you don't expect them to jump to attention when you walk in, but by the same token, you don't want to have to keep telling them to do something that should be done.

You have enough to worry about with the actual running of the salon and admin (not to mention accounts) so I don't feel that you should start doing a job and then ask them to help. What are they being paid for????

Tell them straight. No mobiles if their are clients in and if there are jobs that need doing.

It would be lovely to think that you can work as a team but this is a rare gift to find. Nobody will care about your business as much as you do.

Don't be picky about things. They will all moan and bitch behind your back but that's life. xxx

 

[Lucy-Jayne]

You have enough to worry about with the actual running of the salon and admin (not to mention accounts) so I don't feel that you should start doing a job and then ask them to help. What are they being paid for????

This is what I think. But it's actually going to get to the point when I have to say 'what am I paying you for'...... it shouldn't be like that. But the thing that I find difficult is actually saying that. The thing that gets me the most is that they're in their late 30s!

 

[Zo Zo]

Managing your team is an essential part of your role as boss. It's up to you to manage them, and it's up to you to earn their respect. Saying, 'what am I paying you for?,' is not going to earn their respect, methinks.

It might be a good idea to seek out a course that will help you. Maybe Business Link can help with this. You could also look into Investors in People. You need to take a long term view here and snapping at them is not going to get you what you want.

 

[ADP]

I really feel you..I think you need to detach from the staff on a level where they will take advantage of you..if you have employees who have respect, it can work fine being friendly with them, but usually staff take the mickey

I was manager at my brothers catering business, i got on too well with them, and they walked all over me, in fact, one girl bullied me ! she made my life hell, and i never told on her, i think in the end it came to light, because another employee was upset with her and spilled the beans what she had done to me...

You just have to be strong with the staff, and let them know who's boss, good luck x

 

[tog]

If a job needs doing, you could suggest you do it together, e.g. 'Can you help me fold these towels / clean these mirrors / restock these shelves / whatever the task is.' You can always excuse yourself after a few minutes, 'oh, just remembered I need to... '

Totally agree with Zozo on this one.
You will gain their respect by showing them you wouldn't ask them to do anything you're not prepared to do yourself. This means anything from client treatments (obviously) to cleaning and making tea or coffee.
If they are busy doing a treatment, you wouldn't expect them to be making that client a coffee/answering the phone if you had no-one in, so by answering the phone yourself while they're busy they will do the same for you.
You have to work as a TEAM.
The meetings that someone suggested are a good idea. As well as making it clear what you expect from them, use these as an opportunity to ask them for their ideas on how to improve things/promote your salon in these difficult times and maybe you could develop some of their ideas.
If you have paperwork/ordering/banking etc to do then just say to them (if they have no clients in) it would be great if you would clean the waxpots for me/ polish the reception area etc please, as I need to get this boring paperwork done in the next hour or so. It's all in the way you ask them, be courteous (and certainly don't ask what you are paying them for!)
Be polite but insistent. If a job doesn't get done, gently remind them again.
As someone else mentioned, lists of jobs or even daily/weekly rotas work well, get them to initial or tick once they've done a certain job.
If you're not happy with the way something is done - again, be polite and say some thing like 'I don't know if these basins have been cleaned, but would you mind going over them again as they're looking a bit grubby, thanks' .
Also it might be worth showing that you're pleased once they do start to improve their performance. A gesture like buying takeaway pizza for them for lunch, bringing in a box of chocs/bottle of wine or whatever you think appropriate might surprise them and make them see you in a different light. Everybody likes to be appreciated.
Sorry to waffle on, but I truly believe these sort of things get results, as I have tried and still use these ideas in my salon with my staff and we all get on well and efficiently, and we all look after each other.
I wish you all the best, whatever you do don't take their behaviour personally and become emotional or lose your temper with them. You need to be one step ahead.

 

[JellyJane]

You need to sort this out before it gets out of control.

I used to work at an Accountants for ten years, I was friends with everyone then I got made a manager and when I asked people to do things it was always "oh yeah in a minute" or "I'll do it later" they didn't take me seriously. I decided to have a meeting and tell them straight, I was made the manager and getting paid for it and although I wanted to stay friends with them it would be their job on the line not mine. I had to tell one girl she had a BO problem, that was the worst thing I ever had to do, but she was the receptionist and it really did not smell nice, thing was she blamed it on the plant in reception!!!! lol.

Me & My hubby owned our own courier firm for the last six years. This was a problem because it was a males. Men do not like being told what to do by a woman especially when it comes to driving. I have driven all over the country and driven long wheel base transits. They were rude to me and one guy in particular told us he had a problem in that 1. we were younger than him and 2. he didn't like being toldwhat to do by a woman.
I just told him straight, we had the bottle to open our own company, if he wanted to sit and be a driver that was HIS problem and I did know what I was doing as I had been a driver and still was.
After a while everyone was fine with me and could joke with me but knew how far to go.

IF they wanted to lazy or play the fool there is always someone else that will want their job.
x