Are Your Kids Responsible For Their Own Things?

tonilee

Well-Known Member
#1
Coming out of the kids school today I heard two of the mums talking behind me.......well moaning to be fair as one of the little boys (about 6/7) had been given some lines for forgetting his PE kit (its sports day tomorrow and they have been practicing all day) she was furious and stated she was going to have a word with the teacher cos it was indeed the mums fault for forgetting to give the little boy his PE kit!:rolleyes:

Now this really got my back up.....I teach my kids to be responsible for thier own things, not because I am mean but because I think its important to be able to organise yourself, natrually I do remind them gently at times (Im not a total cruella!!) Both our kids (10 and 5) finish thier own packed lunches everyday (except sandwich) put thier own ice packs in and out of the freezer, they pack thier own PE kits/football kits/swimming kits and so forth. I was really infuriated with this mum for taking what I regard as the wrong attitude and taking responsibility where her son ought to have.
How about you geeks, do you pack everything up for your kids or encourage your kids to get thier own things ready??
 

#2
Hi Tonilee,
Im with you on this one, i have 3 children 6,4 and 2..
My 6 yr old is at school and gets his own stuff ready..eg p.e kit and makes sure that his lunch bag is on the kitchen side when he gets home from school so that he can pack everything before he goes to bed.. The only thing he doesnt do is make his own sandwich..he also folds his own uniform up when he gets home so that he knows where it is for the morning.
My 4yr old starts school in sept and will be taught to do the same thing.
All my kids know where the washing basket is and where dirty clothes go...on the other hand my hubby is yet to learn!!!
xx
 

Bagpuss

Sleepy Geek Zzzzzzzz
#3
I think its good to encourage kids to be responsible for their own things but i also think its madness to expect kids to think like adults...what we think is important kids don't.

At our school a child was kept in at lunch for being late 3 times in a week...DISGUSTING...he is 7 and its his parents job to make sure he gets to school on time at that age. At big school when they walk themselves fair enough.

My kids help to get their stuff together but i still remind them and still check as we are walking out the door....all they are thinking about is what game they will play at break time....:lol:

Each to their own...
 

tonilee

Well-Known Member
#4
I think its good to encourage kids to be responsible for their own things but i also think its madness to expect kids to think like adults...what we think is important kids don't.

At our school a child was kept in at lunch for being late 3 times in a week...DISGUSTING...he is 7 and its his parents job to make sure he gets to school on time at that age. At big school when they walk themselves fair enough.

My kids help to get their stuff together but i still remind them and still check as we are walking out the door....all they are thinking about is what game they will play at break time....:lol:

Each to their own...

God its a bit harsh about the child being late, as you said it is the parents responsibility to take the kids to school on time.

Chloe recently went through a phase of lounging around on a morning then at 8:35 would announce she needed to get her PE kit/swim kit/books or whatever, it was so silly it was happening daily......now she is 10 and was carrying on like this all the time it was getting crazy, forgetting lunch/drinks for a f ew days I ferried back and forth to the school with the forgotten things, then one day she forgot her Swimming kit, and I said
"looks like you wont be going swimming then, make sure you tell Mr Ainge YOU forgot your kit!"

She wasnt a happy bunny but has never forgotten anything since :green:
 

min11

Well-Known Member
#5
Well I have to admit that Noah is 7 and I get everything ready although he does put his stuff in his gym bag when I ask him to and sort out his reading folder. All the older kids pack their own packed lunches etc but tbh its not a great deal of hassle to do Noah's for him and he has plenty of years ahead to learn to be responsible for sorting himself out. I know he can if needed, I just dont mind doing it just now.

x
 

#6
Yep I am the same. My daughter (8) forgot to put her swim kit in the wash and then panicked wed pm because she didnt have it! Well woopdy doo! Told her she had to do it in her knickers, but stayed up washed and dryed it anyway for her!

My kids the other being 6, make their own breakfast and lunch and drinks. Hoover and clean when I need a helping hand but predominantly responsible for their own rooms, and bathroom (only cause its their mess!).

I am hoping to get them to learn how to iron ~ hate ironing! not sure if thats a tad too young lol! BRING BACK CHILD LABOUR! Joking!

They have to have some responsibility or they rely on you doing everything for them their entire lives. I have seen the product of kids being given no responsibility and most of them still live at home at 30+ and need mummy to do everything for them! No thanks ~ my kids hit 18 its bags packed and on the doorstep! Only 10 more years to go yahoo!
 

#7
Well I have to admit that Noah is 7 and I get everything ready although he does put his stuff in his gym bag when I ask him to and sort out his reading folder. All the older kids pack their own packed lunches etc but tbh its not a great deal of hassle to do Noah's for him and he has plenty of years ahead to learn to be responsible for sorting himself out. I know he can if needed, I just dont mind doing it just now.

x
Have to say on this my baby is a spoilt brat because me and his sisters do everything for him. I have a soft spot for him because he is my last, the youngest and the boy I always wanted! Do feel like your softer on your youngest?
 

#8
I am a firm believer in independent children!! Having said that, I wouldn't want my children getting in trouble at school for something I should help them remember. We're a team I think :green: I make my little boys lunch b/c he can't do spreads yet.. but he packs his bag & makes sure he reads his reader to me.

I have a 19yo, 6yo & 1yo... and the older 2 have their chores and jobs to do around the house that they do without being asked. They help out as much as I can possibly delegate to them ... he he he (I sound like a gestapo!!).

This actually works really well b/c I work from home and they respect my space and when I'm crook ~ as I was recently. I could stay in bed all day (dying) while my 6yo took care of himself :green: My friends with children can't fathom that b/c their children require constant attention! YUK!!!! :eek:
 

lilly

Well-Known Member
#9
I think at 6/7 kids are old enough to do a few simple chores but I'm afraid at that age I do think its parents responsibly to do lunch's make sure they're ready for school on time and to go through their school bags with them to make sure they have everything.

I agree children need to be responsible and get into practice for when they are older but they will have enough pressures of them later in life why make it so hard on them now, when they are so young ?

I have a 14 year old at secondary school who is now a responsible young lady who looks after her own needs ( even though I made her lunches and packed her swim kit ! ) I also have twin boys of 10 who now are becoming responsible for their own needs but at 6/7, bit much if you ask me !

Right I'm ready for the heated discussion ( hope not!!! ):eek:
 

TIPTOP

Active Member
#10
I also think at 6/7 kids are old enough to do a few simple chores but I'm afraid at that age I do think its parents responsibly to do lunch's make sure they're ready for school on time and to go through their school bags with them to make sure they have everything.
I know some 11 yr olds who are my daughters friends have to cook tea, wash clothes, make pack lunch and if and when seated together as a family at meal times if they dont eat nice enough their dinner is taken away and they have to stay hungry, now im all for independance, but surely this is ott!! All I expect of my 11 yr old daughter is that her school bag is ready, lunch box left in the kitchen and her washing is in the basket ready for me to sort, and to have table manners in public its taken a while for this to happen but its our routine now lol.

hth
Sue xx
 

#11
and when seated together as a family at meal times if they dont eat nice enough their dinner is taken away and they have to stay hungry
Cricky! (to quote Steve Erwin)...

A child has to have some fun and enjoyment in life as well! Poor little beings :green:

I remember my big boy insisting on making his own lunch in prep (5/6yo). I watched him slap on a lump of marg in the middle of his slice of bread, then slap on a lump of Vegemite! I kept saying "let me help you with that" but he would NOT let me.
I pictured him eating that awful sandwich at school and wanting me to make his lunch from then on... but each morning we had the situation repeat over and over. Until he learned how to spread properly...

Ah... memories :green:
 

#12
I think the nails been hit on the head by jolicatellas sometimes children WANT to take responsibility which is what mine do as I don't want to stiffle that.

But I do help them as well i am not all that bad, but mostly they are responsible for themselves!
 

mercedes69

Well-Known Member
#13
Ha ha....I'm known for making my kids do their own things and take responsibility for their own actions etc....

My mum thinks I am so cruel lol....she is one of those people who does everything for everybody.....I was an only child and so mollycoddled....except she made sure I could cook!

My kids have all fended for themselves ( with me hovvering in the background ).
They cook, they tidy up ( I need to scream to get them to do it but still lol ) and they are responsible for their school bags etc....

I get up in the morning and then wake them up....I make their cereal....I will get out my daughters (7) clothes...and then thats it. I sit down and bark my orders ( reading that I do more than I thought lol ).

I make sure they get to school on time....
I make sure they have their snack....which they get themselves....
I ask if they have everything they need....but ultimately it's their responsibility to make sure they have it....

I have never been a conventional mum...there was too many of them at one time all at home to be on top of things myself so they have had to become pretty much independant early on.

I'm a mum first and foremost....but for sanity I am also me! so my kids can take responsibilty for a lot of things too....
although if they have ever been late for school...and it has been my fault....I have always said to make sure they told their teacher it was my fault and not theirs!
but if they forget their PE kit or suchlike...thats their fault....I will have told them to get it and if they hadn't...well thats their problem.

( but my little boy who will only have just turned 3 will be starting school full time in September :cry: so obviously I can't expect him to get all his stuff...I'm not that cruel just yet :lol: )
 

#14
my 7 year old will do stuff for himself like pack his pe kit or backpack or whatever but i feel it is my job to remind him to do it and if i forget then i do feel bad as i feel it is my job to make sure he has everything he needs.

i think everyday is kinda the same for them at school so i wouldnt expect him to remember that he has to pack his pe bag for a wed and a fri i do however expect him to pack it when i tell him to.

for me him packing it correctly is what id call enough responsibility.
i too would be upset if he got some sort of punishment for forgetting it.

he moves up to the juniors school in september though so we will come to some sort of arrangement where he has to be more responsible for his things but he's ok with that cos he'll be a bigger boy in a bigger boy's school!
 

min11

Well-Known Member
#15
Have to say on this my baby is a spoilt brat because me and his sisters do everything for him. I have a soft spot for him because he is my last, the youngest and the boy I always wanted! Do feel like your softer on your youngest?
I'm not softer but with him being the 5th I have realised I expected an awful lot from the first 3 especially. That said my twins (the eldest of the five) started using the vacuum when they were 13 in the lounge, until then they had just tried to vacuum their bedroom.

So no, not softer but over the years I have become less expectant of them all when they are younger.

I dont think he's spoiled, he gets a comic every week where the others didn't as we couldn't afford it but otherwise its all even, I've no idea what anyone else who has met him might think though :lol:
 

kylieb

Well-Known Member
#16
I can see it from both angles really. Some children have it all done for them and some dont. So really it's not fair for the teacher to give a child lines if the mum takes charge of this and just simply forgot.
I have made my little boy very independent. I think it is important.
I do pack his school stuff, like p.e kit as it's just easier to put it into his bag straight after ive ironed it. He puts his lunch into his bag every morning and empties his lunch box. He always hangs his uniform up too. Nothing wrong with giving them a few responsibilities I don't think
xxx
 

bubbabinks

Well-Known Member
#17
I was brought up with chores and my mum being quite strict about not only doing them but doing them right (her way:rolleyes:) My hubbie grew up where his Mum did a lot for him even making his bed in the mornings.

I am aiming for a happy medium of the two.
My girls are 5(soon to be 6) and 4, youngest starts school in September and she will be treated the same as her sister.

By the time I get all the bits out of the cupboards (she wouldn't be able to reach) it is actually quicker for me to pack her lunch box.

My girls little chores so far are:
  • Lay the table at meal times
  • Clear their plates and mats after meals
  • Keep their bedroom tidy
  • Put dirty washing in basket
  • Eldest has to remember her book bag, water bottle and lunch box
If she is late for school then the blame falls with me because she isn't of an age to walk herself to school so I am in charge of when we leave.
 

kylieb

Well-Known Member
#18
Cricky! (to quote Steve Erwin)...

A child has to have some fun and enjoyment in life as well! Poor little beings :green:

I remember my big boy insisting on making his own lunch in prep (5/6yo). I watched him slap on a lump of marg in the middle of his slice of bread, then slap on a lump of Vegemite! I kept saying "let me help you with that" but he would NOT let me.
I pictured him eating that awful sandwich at school and wanting me to make his lunch from then on... but each morning we had the situation repeat over and over. Until he learned how to spread properly...

Ah... memories :green:
Sorry I just have to ask...why do you have a picture of your boobs as your profile pic? lol
x
 

#19
I taught my 13 yr old to iron when she was 11, she has to iron her own clothes only & does it with a steamer while they are hanging up. This stopped her trying clothes on then piling them on the floor!. She also has to clear the table after dinner and fill/empty the dishwasher. Everyday she hoovers the stairs and has to clear away any of her things she leaves lying around the house.
My 6 yr old has to clean her patent school shoes with wet wipes after school each day which makes her think twice before playing in the mud. She also clears away her own things.
 

Vetty

Lost and happy geek!
#20
Now I'm guilty of doing a lot for both my kids, and although my 7 year old daughter enjoys taking responsibility my 10 year old son is a lazy toad...... I make their packed lunches and I get PE kits ready, I also put out notes/dinner money etc that has to be taken to school. I make sure all the school stuff is sorted out but I do expect them to sort out their own hobbies, so my lad has to make sure he has his football kit and boots for matches......

They both tidy their own bedrooms but I do like them to be kids and I don't expect them to take adult responsibility for chores...... They are never late for school because I make sure they're not late!

Tbh, I do too much for them but in my defence I didn't plan it that way - it just happened!!!!
 
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