Children? Yes, No and why

[NenaLee]

I choosed No by choice. :!:

Only 25 and way to busy in my life for children.

I am always on the go, Traveling,Working School, So I never fit that in the "TO-Do" list, Even though I have been with my partner going on 9 years.:lol:

Kids are a wonderful thing and those who are parents should feel really blessed :hug:

 

[booweeza]

No - not by choice - Have been TTC for 2 years.

Have PCOS and Endo, so have to have surgery very soon (hopefully) and then try fertility meds.

For us, we were told that if we wanted them we had to start trying soon because of all the difficulties we may have.
When we were told this, we had no plans to have kids any time soon. Wanted to travel, buy a house etc etc, but once we were told we realised we really wanted a family so some things had to go on hold and we started trying. No luck yet though!

 

[944-nails]

I have chosen: No by choice. Though I like children when they get to be 4/5 and older. I really don't like babies.

There is no way I could go through pregnancy or giving birth, it is something I'm extremely scared of, I can't stand doctors and hospitals to a point that if I was ill I really don't know what I would do, so pregnancy is out of the question.

Very, very squimish and could not look after a baby, the thought of it makes me sick!

If it was possible I would adopt a 4/5 year old when I am older (probably around 30)

 

[fairiegirl]

i voted yes by choice but then again i have 4 daughters 2 by choice and 2 oh we was naughty heehee. But wouldnt be with out them only thing is i had my first when i was 27 and she is now 12 and the youngest is 2 so it puts my career on hold but this is my time to practice practice and more practice and gives me the time learn and save for the big goal ( my own business ). :lol::green:

 

[Snugglepuss]

I ran away from home when I was 16 and had my first boy when I was 17 - not out of choice - the next two boys were from choice - (my ex mother in law said, when I fell pregnant with number two son, that we should get married, so we did!)

My two littleuns from my second marriage were from choice as well - the only thing I would change if I could is the age gap - Kris the eldest is 26 and George the youngest is 5 :hug: I find it is so much harder to look after children when you are older - especially with a 20 year age gap between the eldest and the youngest, but I don't regret having any of them for one minute :hug:

 

[MrsR]

Nope and not for the want of trying - have been trying for 5 years - had Clomid and IUI and now awaiting IVF

 

['chelle]

Looooong story.

Me and hubby have one each from previous relationship/marriage. I had mine when I was 19, young and stupid, I ended up pregnant to this complete loser who hasnt even seen his daughter since she was 6 weeks old (she's nearly 12 now) and we dont know where he is!! Bringing up a baby on my own at that age was not a good experience. Life was bloody hard, people looked down at me, they just saw a teenager on benefits pushing a pram.

Life with my husband is fantastic, and we both desperately want a baby together. There are so many obstacles in our way that I just dont think it will happen and I hate it. I'm trying to convince myself that I'll build up my business and focus on other things, but deep down I cant accept that it will never happen for us because I want it to so much.

oooh, getting a bit deep and meaningful now!!

 

[clara doon]

Looooong story.

Me and hubby have one each from previous relationship/marriage. I had mine when I was 19, young and stupid, I ended up pregnant to this complete loser who hasnt even seen his daughter since she was 6 weeks old (she's nearly 12 now) and we dont know where he is!! Bringing up a baby on my own at that age was not a good experience. Life was bloody hard, people looked down at me, they just saw a teenager on benefits pushing a pram.

Life with my husband is fantastic, and we both desperately want a baby together. There are so many obstacles in our way that I just dont think it will happen and I hate it. I'm trying to convince myself that I'll build up my business and focus on other things, but deep down I cant accept that it will never happen for us because I want it to so much.

oooh, getting a bit deep and meaningful now!!

sounds like me 5 years ago !! make it happen!! you can do anything xx

I have a 17 year old and a 3 year old, 5 years ago we were in the middle of tests/ivf the lot .. I threw myself into building up my nail business took my mind off the lot .. 2 months after doing my foundation course my second lot of ivf worked... don't think its one or the other you can have both.. xx

 

[nicjill]

I guess now I'm pregnant I should change my reply to this thread! :lol:

The idea of giving birth still scares the hell out of me but not much choice now! 12 weeks pregnant, not enjoying it so far cos of the morning sickness, tiredness, etc. Can't wait till the sickness wears off so I can start enjoying it. My boyfriend definitely wants more but I said we've gotta see how this one goes first!

 

[Coppertop]

Yes i choose to be a mum.
Miscarried with twins first time round then just as i found out i was pregnant again with twins i became a full time mum to Rays son.
Not bad eh after only being pregnant for 25 weeks and 6 days!

I love being a mum but i must say it's harder being a step mum.

 

['chelle]

sounds like me 5 years ago !! make it happen!! you can do anything xx

I have a 17 year old and a 3 year old, 5 years ago we were in the middle of tests/ivf the lot .. I threw myself into building up my nail business took my mind off the lot .. 2 months after doing my foundation course my second lot of ivf worked... don't think its one or the other you can have both.. xx

Oh I would love to, sooo much, but I have to be realistic.

I'm taking methotrexate for rheumatiod arthritis. Its a really strong drug with lots of side effects, and you CANNOT get pregnant whilst on it as it causes birth defects. I might be able to come off the methotrexate for a while, but then my husband had the snip whilst with his ex wife (who promptly left him 12 months later for another bloke - b*tch!!) so he would need that reversing, and we've been told there's only a 40% success chance of that. Also the methotrexate can reduce your fertility, so the odds are pretty much stacked against us.

You know what though, I posted on this thread yesterday without reading all the replies, and I have had a proper read today and I realise just how lucky I am. It may not have been in ideal circumstances but I do have a lovely daughter and should be thankful for that. I've been stamping my feet like a spoilt child lately because I feel so short changed that I may not be able to have another, and I'm sure I've hurt my husband through this because when I was upset recently he told me that it hurts him that he can't give me what I want. I need to view this under a different light now, its not my husbands fault, its just how things are, and when you read Stories such as Lou's it puts everything into perspective.

Lou you are such a strong person, thankyou so much for sharing your story with us. Its awful that something so horrid could happen to such a lovely person as you. I hope good things happen for you hun:hug:

 

[e-beauty]

i have two children my son is very nearly 7 and my daughter just turned 3 both were unplaned.

there the best thing thats ever happened to me. its been hard but worth every tear.

adele i am so sorry to hear that!, you are amazing!:hug:

 

[Kerry's Nails]

Since I started a poll about partners it got me thinking about children and how many of you do or don't have kids.

I don't have any children, this is not from choice. I lost a baby at 23 weeks when I was 24 and had been trying for 2 years. Surgery afterwards resulted in damaged tubes. Tried IVF eventually but was unsuccessful. Took a long time to adjust, my marriage didn't survive and it was only when I met my 2nd husband that I came to terms with it.

I feel your anguish :hug:
I had my first child at 19 after 6 misscarriages. She is now nearlly 16.
I had my second child, a boy who is nearlly 3 after a furthur 7 misscarriages, and the last by IVF.
With my now husband of whom is not the father to my first. IVF is very stressfull and it ruined my first relationship in the end. Its very trying, financially, emotionally - every way.
I wish you all the best with this and pray that one day you too can share the joy I have felt.:hug:

 

[rebelrebel]

Yes by choice was my answer, I have 2 beautiful kids, a 13 year old girl and a 10 year old boy:hug:

 

[vonavitch]

Hello I chose not through choice I had cysts loads of them and back in the mid to late 70's choices were not good so at the age of 15 I had a hysterectomy it took a while to get over this but I have a niece and nephew who get loads of love and cuddles from me and of course are spoilt rotten by me

Yvonne

 

[deanosnana]

I have two boys (well, young men now) and a grandson. I chose to have children because I want to leave this earth a little bit better than when I got here.

Hopefully, thru my kids, I will accomplish that.