Female Stress Diet

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Lellipop

Lelli Loo Loo
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Nov 6, 2003
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Female Stress Diet

This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope
with the stress that builds up during the day:

BREAKFAST:
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

LUNCH
Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a
cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 chocolate biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet
1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping
1 jar nutella

DINNER
4 bottles of red wine
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza

LATE NIGHT SNACK
Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten
directly from freezer)


DIET RULES:
1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the
chocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories
don't count if you do not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:
chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

5. If you fatten up the people around you,
you will look thinner.

6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part
of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.
(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)

7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up
causes calorie leakage.

8. Food licked from knives and spoons has
no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.

9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.
Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes.

10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcard
and may be substituted for any other colour.

11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity
and the density of calorie mass.

12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it
rightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.

And remember:
STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS
 
are you allowed a ciggy in between each one ??????
 
Oh you know me so well!!!! Well a 20 pack? :eek: I've heard that menthol are less stressful :eek:

Less stressful and clear a blocked nose now that cant be bad :)
 
love it finally a diet I can do:green:
 
I drink diet coke all the time so I'm sorted!!!!! :)
 
Not to mention keep your breath fresh for the clients :lol:

Oh you guys are so on my wave length, have to be stess free, fagged out and smelling lovely for our clients :lol:
 
I find if you want to have tipple during the day have vodka doesn't effect the smell on the breath :lol:
 
I find if you want to have tipple during the day have vodka doesn't effect the smell on the breath :lol:

Swear by it hun, nothing like a vodka and diet coke to kick start the day :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
FINALLY!! A diet that I can stick too!! I've been searching....do you think I can skip breakfast and lunch and just do dinner and the snack, whilst standing up eating from someone else's plate?? :lol:
 
you forgot to finish each course with a valium.:)
 
Five is my favourite.......fatten up those around me so I appear thin:lol:
 
lol i love this diet going to start now .....
:hug: :hug: xxxxxxxxxx
 
You forgot to mention the 'clear' rule, Gin & Vodka are totally clear and therefore contain no calories at all.

Either of these can and should be taken in liberal quantities throughout the day. Ice adds interest,tonic adds bubbles and a slice of lemon or lime is one of your '5 a day'

This is an excerpt from Adele Keegan's new book entitled


'How to justify your drinking'


shortly to be promoted by all the chat show hosts
 
You forgot to mention the 'clear' rule, Gin & Vodka are totally clear and therefore contain no calories at all.

Either of these can and should be taken in liberal quantities throughout the day. Ice adds interest,tonic adds bubbles and a slice of lemon or lime is one of your '5 a day'

This is an excerpt from Adele Keegan's new book entitled


'How to justify your drinking'


shortly to be promoted by all the chat show hosts
Oooooooh can I have an autographed copy??? I'm loving the clear rule!!! YOU MADAAM ARE A GENIUS!!!!
 
Now that is my kind of diet! :lol:

You are a genius!
 
Now that is my kind of diet! :lol:

You are a genius!

Will send you my husband's e-mail address could you please remind him !!!:lol:
 

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