Need a rant...sorry!

[Voodoo]

my fella proposed to me at the weekend, and i accepted - we have been together for 3 months, he is 42 and i'm 35 and i have 2 sons from a previous relationship.

we work together and everyone at work, my friends and family have been ecstatic and over the moon...and i am still stunned, it's the 1st time i've been propsed to lol! :lol:

the reason for my rant is my mother...but first some background...it's a bit lengthy so bear with me, i need to put this down so that hopefully someone will be able to give me some advice.

both of her marriages ended in divorce - 1st hubby beat her up, my dad had an affair - and she has been on her own since she was 52, she is 70 this year.

she has always seemed antagonistic towards nick since she realised that we were serious about each other, and has always treated my house and sons like her own - she babysits them when i work late and tries to over-ride me where they are concerned.

so earlier on i rang her up to tell her the good news and she didn't say congrats, that she was happy or had we set a date..."well...i think you are mad...it will probably end up in divorce like mine and your brothers' did...but it's not my place to comment, it's your life..."

to say i was stunned and upset is an under-statement...i got off the phone after lots of silence from her and me trying to get her to be happy about it, and i cried my eyes out.

my oldest brother has hit the roof and is after going to see her to sort her out, because he is over the moon for us and is mad at her reaction.

at this rate i'm seriously thinking about telling her i don't want her to look after my sons anymore, and that she can forget about coming to the wedding.

my eldest son has also told me tales of what she has been saying when she is here with them, such as "i won't look after you two if your mum marries nick"..."he's trying to take over your mum's life" etc etc...

nick is the best thing to happen to me, he is a good man, got my life back on track, my sons love him to bits and he has said he will adopt them as he considers them his sons now.

he has even started a business so that he can provide for us - he still works where i do and is also in his 2nd year at uni, so he is a bloody hard worker and committed to us being a family.

so wouldn't you think that ANY mother would want this sort of man to be a husband to her daughter????

sorry for ranting, but i really need to get this out and hopefully get some advice as to how i should proceed with dealing with her...has anyone here gone through something similar and sorted it out amicably?

sorry again...jue x

 

[Violet Star]

Your mum is being very unfair on you hun and im sorry about this but before i go ahead congratulations :hug:

This is your life remember and if this guy makes you and your children happy then thats all the matters in this situation. She is being very unreasonable and using her bad experience to dampen this for you!
People do get married and divorced but that doesnt mean it will happen to everybody just some people are not as well suited as others!

You need to go ahead and have your wonderful wedding! If that was me i would inform my mum that i am very upset with what she said and if that she isnt happy about you getting married then dont come.

Obviously you cant cut her out of your life as she is your mum... you cant pick your family. But im sure she will see sense and regret reacting the way she did.

Hope it gets sorted for u :hug:

 

[pretty-in-pink]

aww hun thats abit bad of your mum not all relationships are bad and end up in divorce i think she should realise that,its also bad that she has been saying things to your kids about your partner thats out of order and damn right wrong! if your happy then stuff everyone else who isnt for you!

congrats hun and keep us posted with details!!

x

 

[angelina221]

You're marrying Nick not your mother! She is being unfair but i really think it's best to let it go over your head. I tend to find that people like this are wanting a reaction and wanting you to know that they have upset you. Don't give her the satisfaction. Once she realises he is really good for you she will probably come round.
I remember when my dad got together with my mom. I was only 2 and my grandad was so annoyed because my dad had taken on a woman with 2 kids-not the done thing in those days!
He wouldn't speak to my dad for ages and he used to go out when we visited my nan. Eventually he came round though and he ended up being our favourite grandad.
Just hang in there. It's your chance to be happy so take it and don't let anyone get in your way.
CONGRATULATIONS :hug:

 

[kylieb]

It sounds to me as though she could be a tad jealous?
I was going to say don't cut your nose off to spite your face when i read about her baby sitting but it's not good when she is involving your children. I would definitely say something to her about that because that is not on!
It's a shame she cant be happy for you especially when it's your own mother but hey hun,try and ignore it. At the end of the day it's your life and you will do want you feel is best.
Congratulations!!!! x x x

 

[Lynne Baker]

First of all, congratulations!

I think she may be concerned because 3 months isn't a very long time to be together (hell, I've had hangovers that lasted longer than that!).

The way to deal with her is to not. By that I mean that when she starts to have a go merely absent yourself from the situation. Give her time to reflect on what she's said, try not to react to anything she says, and remember that it's your life, not hers.

 

[loubylou]

:hug:Congratulations :hug:
i know 3 months does seem like a short time but when you know something is right then you just know,
me and my husband were married after only been together 6 months and it lasted for 10 years,
granted we are no longer together and i would not take him back if he was dipped in gold and studded in diamonds but i don't regret the 10 good years we had together,
life is for living and so what if it does end in divorce as long as you both enjoy it,
your mum is just been mum, :hug:

 

[naturalnails]

Sorry but this really should be a blog entry.