Ok to 'thin shame' but not 'fat shame'?

[sarah1992]

I wrote a thread on here this year about me going into a salon where they were advertising a job,I took my cv in and was told I was to fat to apply at a size 12-14.I was told I wouldn't fit into there image Hahahahaha I was so angry and a little upset and since then I don't care what people think.

So it's not just thin people that get the end of a s**tty stick it's fuller sizes to.

Thats unbelievable, just like high street shops not taking on 'ugly' people its ridiculous! I hope to be where you are! I do fully agree that fuller figures get a lot of critiscm and none of it is deserved, but it seems to be almost acceptable nowadays for a woman to call another woman a bone and anorexic and I think its so wrong. Theres no support there for girls trying to gain weight or being bullied because they are thin, but there seems to be a lot of support for people trying to lose weight, I just wanted to make others feel like they are not crazy for thinking this & that they are not 'a bag of bones"

 

[virtues2011]

I'm sitting at work writing this eating a packet of crisps and drinking a can of full fat coke :o Hahahahaha x

Ha ha ha lucky you. Strawberry tea with sweetner, cottage cheese with pinapple, some nasty low fat ham and a tomato. NICE! I'd fight you for your packet of crisps...lol...

 

[Nearlyme]

I'm not autistic, just outspoken I guess sorry!

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I am outspoken too but I would never leap on a thread where someone is visibly upset at being judged on her size and affirm this judgement to be correct

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[virtues2011]

Can't belive some peoples cheek! But the best way to handle it is exactly how you did! My favorite part was "when is your baby due?" "18 years ago" haha

If nothing else - I am very quick thinking! ha ha ha

 

[Nearlyme]

Ha ha ha lucky you. Strawberry tea with sweetner, cottage cheese with pinapple, some nasty low fat ham and a tomato. NICE! I'd fight you for your packet of crisps...lol...

Home made soup with yeast free bread. Handful of seeds and 6 almonds. Dont be fooled am making up for a junkfood binge all last week lol

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[virtues2011]

What I would like to know is what you see as a exceptable dress size across the board.

Impossible to answer. Personally, to eat healthily, excercise and look after yourself is the key. Not one person is the same metabolically or in height. What is correct for one will not be for the other.

 

[Crystal colleen]

Impossible to answer. Personally, to eat healthily, excercise and look after yourself is the key. Not one person is the same metabolically or in height. What is correct for one will not be for the other.

Exactly........this is the point I was making to the person that posted that a size 16 is over weight.

I completely agree,my friend plays rugby and she is hench lol she's 6 foot 3 and is really fit and a size 18 but she is not overweight by any means.

 

[Crystal colleen]

Ha ha ha lucky you. Strawberry tea with sweetner, cottage cheese with pinapple, some nasty low fat ham and a tomato. NICE! I'd fight you for your packet of crisps...lol...

I'm now eating a brown bread marmite sarne lol.

Yours sounds lovely though I would swap you lol

 

[virtues2011]

Exactly........this is the point I was making to the person that posted that a size 16 is over weight.

I completely agree,my friend plays rugby and she is hench lol she's 6 foot 3 and is really fit and a size 18 but she is not overweight by any means.

Yes apologies I re-read it and realised this wasn't a general statement.

However, I think if someone thinks that a size 16 is overweight then that opinion is acceptable too. Are we just as bad by slating her opinion as this again is not usually said and a normal reply to a thread of this nature. Why do we feel that we are right and she is not. It's interesting....clearly I have too much time on my hands..I'm going to suffer the workload tomorrow.. ha ha

 

[Nearlyme]

Yes apologies I re-read it and realised this wasn't a general statement.

However, I think if someone thinks that a size 16 is overweight then that opinion is acceptable too. Are we just as bad by slating her opinion as this again is not usually said and a normal reply to a thread of this nature. Why do we feel that we are right and she is not. It's interesting....clearly I have too much time on my hands..I'm going to suffer the workload tomorrow.. ha ha

Because nobody has the right to judge anyone else on their size. Its between 1 person and their GP to judge who is unhealthy not anyone else's based on size or weight

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[hazeleyes]

Because nobody has the right to judge anyone else on their size. Its between 1 person and their GP to judge who is unhealthy not anyone else's based on size or weight

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Agreed! It's not for the poster to deem what is or isn't over weight! The view was very dated and extremely generalised!! Does she know every persons persons bmi?! I think not! Is she a trained gp? Does she know their fat to muscle ratio? No!

I also thought it was insensitive and not very well thought out to post on a public forum as it may well cause offence and subsequent fall out from others!

 

[virtues2011]

Because nobody has the right to judge anyone else on their size. Its between 1 person and their GP to judge who is unhealthy not anyone else's based on size or weight

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Yes of course I understand - but look at the post:

Slightly off topic but have you seen in the papers the size 16 mannequins (or whatever they're called).
They say this is the average size of a women in the UK!

If 16 is the average size, then that is shocking. Girls will look at them and think it's ok to be overweight.

I see nothing detrimental to an individual here. It was an opinion - people do think size 16 is overweight, like some people think a size 8 is underweight. Because this is an unusual opinion doesn't make it wrong. I don't expect everyone to agree with me but this is my personal opinion.

 

[Sarah89Nails]

This is a topic that frustrates me to no end, and I would like to know other peoples opinion on it too, and even just to rant if needs be!

Ok so the point is, it is perfectly ok to call someone 'skinny, a twig, a bag of bones and anorexic' but the minute someone is called 'fat' there is a bug commotion. As someone who has always been a size 6 due to natural build & medical problems (stomach) and very very often get called way too skinny or 'god do you ever eat?' Even asked by a counter assistant "are you anorexic by any chance?" Now, if I was overweight & she had said "do you over eat a lot by any chance? You look very fat" it would have been a whole different thing!

I would never dream of commenting on someones weight unless to say "you have a great figure" because itherwise it's an insult. I understand most don't mean it as an insult but it is very frustrating to hear things like "only a dog wants a bone & only real women have curves" and there isn't even a blink. Especially for someone who has trying to gain weight all my life I get very upset when someone comments on my weight as there really doesnt seem much more I can do about it.

What do you guys think of this?

I totally understand how you feel, being a size 6/8 all my life. My mum and sisters are the same. We struggle to maintain a healthy weight, I eat tons and have tried protein shakes but we just stay the same. It's really hard but if I ever mention it everyone starts saying 'oh yeah life is so hard being so slim and eating whatever you want' but actually it is sometimes. I get all the comments on being anorexic and told I should start eating. And all those Facebook pics about real women having curves, makes me feel inadequate, I'm a real woman too xxx

 

[sarah1992]

I totally understand how you feel, being a size 6/8 all my life. My mum and sisters are the same. We struggle to maintain a healthy weight, I eat tons and have tried protein shakes but we just stay the same. It's really hard but if I ever mention it everyone starts saying 'oh yeah life is so hard being so slim and eating whatever you want' but actually it is sometimes. I get all the comments on being anorexic and told I should start eating. And all those Facebook pics about real women having curves, makes me feel inadequate, I'm a real woman too xxx

Sorry to hear you feel like this. It is bullying the same way as calling someone fat is bullying, not to mention hypocrytical! If you read back on here a poster has made a great version of those silly 'real women have curves" pictures, its brilliant! Xx

 

[hazeleyes]

Yes of course I understand - but look at the post:

Slightly off topic but have you seen in the papers the size 16 mannequins (or whatever they're called).
They say this is the average size of a women in the UK!

If 16 is the average size, then that is shocking. Girls will look at them and think it's ok to be overweight.

I see nothing detrimental to an individual here. It was an opinion - people do think size 16 is overweight, like some people think a size 8 is underweight. Because this is an unusual opinion doesn't make it wrong. I don't expect everyone to agree with me but this is my personal opinion.

Overweight compared to what though? And underweight compared to what? That's my whole point! Says who? Me? You? The person who made the comment? Hmmmmm!

Also, The bit that got me was the bit about girls seeing size 16 mannequins and thinking that was ok to be over weight!

Surely whatever the views, if that's the average weight in the uk now then why is that relevant! Girls are only seeing what's NORMAL!!!!

 

[virtues2011]

Overweight compared to what though? And underweight compared to what? That's my whole point! Says who? Me? You? The person who made the comment? Hmmmmm!

Also, The bit that got me was the bit about girls seeing size 16 mannequins and thinking that was ok to be over weight!

Surely whatever the views, if that's the average weight in the uk now then why is that relevant! Girls are only seeing what's NORMAL!!!!

Hi H - hope you're ok haven't spoken to you for what seems like an age.

Isnt' it all just generalisation to what one believes is correct and acceptable. Yes I see your point. Are size 16 people overweight - when it is not always the case. I too have friends that are size 18/20 who play hockey and netball and as big as they look they are fitter than most. My thought process just led me to believe that this was just another opinion of what individuals deem as correct or incorrect. Occasionally I will look at others point of views - you know how outspoken I am - so probably just keep to my own opinions then..... yes.... ha ha.

 

[hazeleyes]

Hi H - hope you're ok haven't spoken to you for what seems like an age.

Isnt' it all just generalisation to what one believes is correct and acceptable. Yes I see your point. Are size 16 people overweight - when it is not always the case. I too have friends that are size 18/20 who play hockey and netball and as big as they look they are fitter than most. My thought process just led me to believe that this was just another opinion of what individuals deem as correct or incorrect. Occasionally I will look at others point of views - you know how outspoken I am - so probably just keep to my own opinions then..... yes.... ha ha.

Lol- yes we haven't met in here for a whole! I'm good oh and I much prefer the outspoken virtues! It's what makes it so interesting!
I couldn't by pass without stating my feelings on this.
Anyway I'm feeling a bit wounded now as I just came out of the docs to find I've gained at least 4kgs!!!! How depressing!!! Lol

The famous words "the diet starts tomorrow" are being cried now!

 

[virtues2011]

Lol- yes we haven't met in here for a whole! I'm good oh and I much prefer the outspoken virtues! It's what makes it so interesting!
I couldn't by pass without stating my feelings on this.
Anyway I'm feeling a bit wounded now as I just came out of the docs to find I've gained at least 4kgs!!!! How depressing!!! Lol

The famous words "the diet starts tomorrow" are being cried now!

Ha ha ha ha ..how ironic, good luck with the diet! (am I allowed to say that)...I must be feeling in a (what I class as a ) sensitive mood today, I'm not usually this collected. I've managed quite a few pages of rather polite conversation, debate, funny stories and very little of my own self opinionated responses....although maybe they just haven't been picked up yet! ha ha.

 

[mm29]

Just a thought but can you not be "over weight" and fit

Rugby players are fit but I'd imagine most are what would be classed as over weight

Ohh this is a tricky thread

 

[Nearlyme]

Just a thought but can you not be "over weight" and fit

Rugby players are fit but I'd imagine most are what would be classed as over weight

Ohh this is a tricky thread

Overweight by an outdated BMI chart yes

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