Ok to 'thin shame' but not 'fat shame'?

[Nearlyme]

But it is over weight! There's no point hiding it.
Obviously I'd never comment on anyone's weight personally or individually, but this is a mannequin!!

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Who says? An out dated BMI chart which most doctors now say isnt an accurate way to measure health?
I am 5ft 5 and weigh 10.7! And you know what I have size 10s which are huge on me. My body fat percentage is 17% which is "fitness/athletic". I have friends who weigh 8 stone but have body fat percentage of 25% which is the upper percentage of healthy.
I also havr freinds who are just naturally buxom, they have lovelly big squishy boobs and lovelly bums, they run marathons and can outlift me in the gym. They are size 16s or 18s and classed as overweight but are fitter then me and I am a fitness freak!

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[JemmaB]

I guess we'll agree to disagree then

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[hazeleyes]

It is a very outdated view! It's not 1998 anymore!!!!

 

[virtues2011]

Yes you are probably right but there is a difference between thinking it and saying something hurtful to someone about something that is not anyone's place to comment on.

...I understand...but you will never stop people saying it to others, some do it because they think it is funny, some do it without thinking, some say it because they believe it is true.....I think we can rant about it all we like but it will never be prevented.

Unfortunately for me any weight I put on just goes straight to my stomach, it misses my face, my boobs, my arm and legs- end of. The amount of times I have been asked if I am pregnant goes without saying.

Here are some stories for you.

I have been at the front of a queue in gatwick airport where twice I have been called out and asked if I would like a seat. My friend who was with me fell on the floor laughing, although to be fair I laughed too, the lady behind the desk was mortified, she was more embarrassed than I was.

I have been asked on various occasions when my baby is due, my reply was "18 years ago".

I have been at an ann summers party with a load of friends, the organiser was pregnant, she collared me and asked me how lovely it was that her and I were pregnant. I wasn't. I told her I wasn't - her reply to me was "oh don't be shy of course you are, when is it due" I had to have an argument with her to prove my point that I wasn't.....

I had a whole bunch of old age pensioners stand up and offer me their seat on a boat trip once.

I've been stood in a pub before and heard people say "ohh she shouldn't be drinking in her state"...

the list is endless, yet to those that know me don't think that I look like this - I am not massive by any means but my stomach just seems to be a little larger than anything else. You don't even have to be obese to warrant these comments. I take no notice of what people say to me these days .....but I generally will give a reply back but not of a nasty nature and the people that say it to me are more embarrassed than I will ever be.

So if anyone knows how this feels I do! :lol:

I hope it gave you all a little smile - It did me. x

 

[Nearlyme]

...I understand...but you will never stop people saying it to others, some do it because they think it is funny, some do it without thinking, some say it because they believe it is true.....I think we can rant about it all we like but it will never be prevented.

Unfortunately for me any weight I put on just goes straight to my stomach, it misses my face, my boobs, my arm and legs- end of. The amount of times I have been asked if I am pregnant goes without saying.

Here are some stories for you.

I have been at the front of a queue in gatwick airport where twice I have been called out and asked if I would like a seat. My friend who was with me fell on the floor laughing, although to be fair I laughed too, the lady behind the desk was mortified, she was more embarrassed than I was.

I have been asked on various occasions when my baby is due, my reply was "18 years ago".

I have been at an ann summers party with a load of friends, the organiser was pregnant, she collared me and asked me how lovely it was that her and I were pregnant. I wasn't. I told her I wasn't - her reply to me was "oh don't be shy of course you are, when is it due" I had to have an argument with her to prove my point that I wasn't.....

I had a whole bunch of old age pensioners stand up and offer me their seat on a boat trip once.

I've been stood in a pub before and heard people say "ohh she shouldn't be drinking in her state"...

the list is endless, yet to those that know me don't think that I look like this - I am not massive by any means but my stomach just seems to be a little larger than anything else. You don't even have to be obese to warrant these comments. I take no notice of what people say to me these days .....but I generally will give a reply back but not of a nasty nature and the people that say it to me are more embarrassed than I will ever be.

So if anyone knows how this feels I do! :lol:

I hope it gave you all a little smile - It did me. x

I am the same... one word "Spanx" lol

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[Msgeek]

I've lost 6 stone (through weight watchers and a very healthy diet). I currently weigh 11st 10lb and want to lose another 3 stone. I'm getting damned tired of people telling me I shouldn't lose more weight and that I'll be anorexic!! I'm a size 14-16, 5'3'' and not happy at the size I am - surely it's up to me what size I want to be. Apparently, people talk behind my back about how I'm gonna get too 'skinny' and that I've got an eating disorder. As if. Why do people think this is any of their business?

 

[Nearlyme]

I've lost 6 stone (through weight watchers and a very healthy diet). I currently weigh 11st 10lb and want to lose another 3 stone. I'm getting damned tired of people telling me I shouldn't lose more weight and that I'll be anorexic!! I'm a size 14-16, 5'3'' and not happy at the size I am - surely it's up to me what size I want to be. Apparently, people talk behind my back about how I'm gonna get too 'skinny' and that I've got an eating disorder. As if. Why do people think this is any of their business?

People need to worry less about what others are up to and get on with their own stuff.
I have an idea why your friends are doing this. They feel threatened. They have always had the security of you being the "fat one" and now that you are getting all even more gorgeous they are thinking "oohh she may get thinner then me- and then who will be the jolly fat friend"? Either that or they want to do something about their own weight but dont have your strength and determination so are jealous
Well done you

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[salj]

...I understand...but you will never stop people saying it to others, some do it because they think it is funny, some do it without thinking, some say it because they believe it is true.....I think we can rant about it all we like but it will never be prevented.

Yes I'm afraid your right.

All we can do ourselves is not participate in shaming and call others out on it!

 

[LMA]

The average height of the population is much higher than it used to be, so if the average dress size is too then I'm not surprised!!
The only reason I trust the BMI scale for myself is because due to medical reasons I'll never be muscular so I know that's not going to up my score lol

Also can I just say if anyone hears someone making a blunt comment on someone's appearance could we not judge them either as you never know if they have Autism etc. that stops them filtering their thoughts/words! X

 

[virtues2011]

I've lost 6 stone (through weight watchers and a very healthy diet). I currently weigh 11st 10lb and want to lose another 3 stone. I'm getting damned tired of people telling me I shouldn't lose more weight and that I'll be anorexic!! I'm a size 14-16, 5'3'' and not happy at the size I am - surely it's up to me what size I want to be. Apparently, people talk behind my back about how I'm gonna get too 'skinny' and that I've got an eating disorder. As if. Why do people think this is any of their business?

It is up to you what size you wish to be, and a very well done on your achievement - but on trend with what is highlighted in the papers this is sometimes what happens, you read stories of "I was 20 stone now I can't get out of bed because my ankles will snap" it works the other way "I was a size 6 now I'm a size 60 and need half my house knocking down to get out of my bedroom" You'll never win it - but the best of luck in your own personal weight loss. x

 

[JemmaB]

Also can I just say if anyone hears someone making a blunt comment on someone's appearance could we not judge them either as you never know if they have Autism etc. that stops them filtering their thoughts/words! X

I'm not autistic, just outspoken I guess sorry!

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[virtues2011]

The average height of the population is much higher than it used to be, so if the average dress size is too then I'm not surprised!!
The only reason I trust the BMI scale for myself is because due to medical reasons I'll never be muscular so I know that's not going to up my score lol

Also can I just say if anyone hears someone making a blunt comment on someone's appearance could we not judge them either as you never know if they have Autism etc. that stops them filtering their thoughts/words! X

Everyone judges everyone regardless of political correctness. That's life!... Social correctness is also judged. I am to blame also. My daughter has over 30 piercings. They are disgusting. I hate them. I often comment on what she looks like because she if different from the norm. I doesn't mean I love her any less - but who seriously would employ her in a senior role at any company. No one I know. The older generations have different views - I would be hard pushed to agree that Barack Obama should be sporting the latest nail art or a Managing Director having blue and green strips in his/her hair at a meeting...

 

[sallyyummymummy]

I sometimes have to buy a size 16 due to my 36f boobs. I am a healthy weight for my height after losing a considerable amount of weight yet a size 16 is overweight?? Well I'm certainly not overweight or fat - I think that was a bit of a thoughtless comment!

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[LMA]

I'm not autistic, just outspoken I guess sorry!

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I never said you were. And don't apologise, I just meant it as a point for folk to think about. X

 

[LMA]

Everyone judges everyone regardless of political correctness. That's life!... Social correctness is also judged. I am to blame also. My daughter has over 30 piercings. They are disgusting. I hate them. I often comment on what she looks like because she if different from the norm. I doesn't mean I love her any less - but who seriously would employ her in a senior role at any company. No one I know. The older generations have different views - I would be hard pushed to agree that Barack Obama should be sporting the latest nail art or a Managing Director having blue and green strips in his/her hair at a meeting...

I know it is, I'm probably as guilty as the next person...
And when I did my hair silver my mum told me nearly every day how much she hated it haha but I don't have a single piercing, and thought my mum was silly when she got her belly button done!
Takes all kinds to make a world, and we all have our own tastes and opinions. X

 

[Crystal colleen]

Some very good points made on this thread.

I don't think a size 16 is over weight at all.Like others have pointed out if your muscular,tall etc then that will fit your body but even if your not I still don't think a 16 is overweight.

I'm around 12-14 sometimes 16 depending on where I shop I don't class myself as largely overweight bit others that know me think I am because 3 years ago I was very small.I now have a bum and a cracking rack on me so I'm not complaining :lol: neither does my OH lol.I could prob so with loosing a bit but it's not ruling my life by any means.

When I was thin I could go shopping and pick something not try it on and buy it.Now I have to try everything on lol but I dress accordingly to my size bit it's no problem I'm cool with that.

I'm sitting at work writing this eating a packet of crisps and drinking a can of full fat coke :o Hahahahaha x

 

[xnailsbylisax]

But it is over weight! There's no point hiding it.
Obviously I'd never comment on anyone's weight personally or individually, but this is a mannequin!!

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Its not overweight. Obesity is weighed on BMI/weight compared to height NOT dress size. How ignorant can you get

 

[Crystal colleen]

I wrote a thread on here this year about me going into a salon where they were advertising a job,I took my cv in and was told I was to fat to apply at a size 12-14.I was told I wouldn't fit into there image Hahahahaha I was so angry and a little upset and since then I don't care what people think.

So it's not just thin people that get the end of a s**tty stick it's fuller sizes to.

 

[Crystal colleen]

But it is over weight! There's no point hiding it.
Obviously I'd never comment on anyone's weight personally or individually, but this is a mannequin!!

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What I would like to know is what you see as a exceptable dress size across the board.

 

[sarah1992]

...I understand...but you will never stop people saying it to others, some do it because they think it is funny, some do it without thinking, some say it because they believe it is true.....I think we can rant about it all we like but it will never be prevented.

Unfortunately for me any weight I put on just goes straight to my stomach, it misses my face, my boobs, my arm and legs- end of. The amount of times I have been asked if I am pregnant goes without saying.

Here are some stories for you.

I have been at the front of a queue in gatwick airport where twice I have been called out and asked if I would like a seat. My friend who was with me fell on the floor laughing, although to be fair I laughed too, the lady behind the desk was mortified, she was more embarrassed than I was.

I have been asked on various occasions when my baby is due, my reply was "18 years ago".

I have been at an ann summers party with a load of friends, the organiser was pregnant, she collared me and asked me how lovely it was that her and I were pregnant. I wasn't. I told her I wasn't - her reply to me was "oh don't be shy of course you are, when is it due" I had to have an argument with her to prove my point that I wasn't.....

I had a whole bunch of old age pensioners stand up and offer me their seat on a boat trip once.

I've been stood in a pub before and heard people say "ohh she shouldn't be drinking in her state"...

the list is endless, yet to those that know me don't think that I look like this - I am not massive by any means but my stomach just seems to be a little larger than anything else. You don't even have to be obese to warrant these comments. I take no notice of what people say to me these days .....but I generally will give a reply back but not of a nasty nature and the people that say it to me are more embarrassed than I will ever be.

So if anyone knows how this feels I do! :lol:

I hope it gave you all a little smile - It did me. x

Can't belive some peoples cheek! But the best way to handle it is exactly how you did! My favorite part was "when is your baby due?" "18 years ago" haha