It's back! Shming Shmong part deux!!! The revenge of the demon nails!

[nail2heart]

ladies do not buy anymore polishes i have lovely shades of house paints to match back with your house ,do not miss out on a great oppurtunity,stocks are going fast.i also have in stock olive oil for cuticles,dishwashing liquid for soaking feet,if you buy all items you will receive a private message from me and brillo pads to scrub your feet.

Florentina Alexander
[email protected]
Nails At Last

 

[suey]

I am loving some of these ideas...you guys are brilliant:hug: thanks.xx

I was with a client this afternoon doing her fibreglass infills with my toilet tissue and water, when i realised she had lost a tip, how embarrassing i didn't have any on me!! (I usually stick a few bits of cut out white carrier bag on the end with my prit stick). But after reading this thread earlier, i remembered!!! So i excused myself, nipped to the bathroom, broke a bit of my toe nail off with my teeth and used that!! I have no idea what i would have done if i hadn't have read this thread earlier, phew! So thank you once again folks you saved me from any embarrasment! xx:hug:

 

[pips]

ha not if I get in there first!

Too late ive already done it, got fed up of the cif cream :green:

 

[ariaaland]

its simply not fair...are you guys spying on me all the way from there over here???? i should have copyrighted my ideas.. i have been using these method for ages but as a very selfish person, i never wanted to share my ideas cuz i was awaiting my patent you see:irked: ....sassy i am especially mad at you cuz i first came up with the gel toothpaste bit..i need to talk to you offline about that expect a letter from my lawyers girlie!!!! i have to go now times awasting its back to the drawing board for me...got to go rethink my new product line.... darn it!!! and i was so just about to place my advt. in NAILS MAG:irked:

cheers

 

[Glamnails72]

I do have to say thought, having just finished decorating in the lounge - left over wallpaper glue is just the best for fantasy nail art - especially with the bits of hair and paper left in - the texture is out of this world! (and it disguises all that rough cuticle - not that professionals leave any!!!!!)

I have read this and had to laugh quietly as baby is sleeping - not easy!

:lol: :lol:

 

[Glorsclaws]

Ladies, those of you attending Olympia next month be sure to come over & say 'hi' at stand 000 but most importantly, dont forget to bring your 'moolah' for my new gel which I have now decided to launch with a sale offer!
Yes due to massive over production on my part I will be launching S'Not Nice Nails with a fabulous opening offer priced up at just 1 bar of milk chocolate per pot. I can supersize you for a tin of Quality Street and will give a months supply to those of you trading in Thorntons!
This offer s'not to be missed and will strictly be on a first come & favourite chocolate- style basis only!
Right must go, client awaits... dont like this one, miserable mare, so Im going to use up some duff product I have on the shelf called Creative, ha! that'll show her ..... it'll never catch on that product, you know!

 

[River]

Right must go, client awaits... dont like this one, miserable mare, so Im going to use up some duff product I have on the shelf called Creative, ha! that'll show her ..... it'll never catch on that product, you know!

I know, this company keeps popping up thinking they can take over from the success of the Shming Shmong Nail Standard.

All their airy fairy views on hygiene and proper prep etc. Blah, they just want to take our hard earned dosh away !

They are so going to fail in the market place !!! :lol:


River

 

[nailartist]

These are all great ideas, ladies--how I wish I lived across the pond. As for myself, I like to use a mixture of water, sugar and flour for the white, maybe with a dollop of butter to give it a more natural tint (us Yankees have yellower free edges. I think it might have something to do with all that tea we dropped into the harbor way back when--it's still in our water system.). For the pink, it's water and sugar again, but mixed with a bit of egg white and a spot of red food coloring for a nice pink shade.

Now, that sugar gets mighty hard (ooh, that sounds naughty), so I have to go downstairs and get my dad's dremel to smooth everything out. But in the end, my clients have themselves some finger lickin' good enhancements! Of course, I don't recommend these for my diabetic clients. For now, they have to go natural, but I am experimenting with SweetNLow and Splenda.

 

[bling nails]

im going to let my secret out the tin!! forget your cheese graters and Cif, Cillit bang for your prep...ive got an easier way!..

NITROMORE'S PAINT/VARNISH STRIPPER.....wow it works!

apply a blob on each nail plate and leave for 15mins....at this stage you can have a fag over the other end of the room as this stuff is highly imflammable...(remembering health and safety).
The client will moan of a burning sensation....reasure her that its perfectly normal...its stripping all thats on nail plate...including some of the layers and at the same time the cuticles, see! doing 2 jobs in one!!
Doubt fag in ash-tray....
ask client to wash hands under hot water, cold wont shift the nitro-mores, dab hands on tea-towel, the one ready for the bin!
so now client has lovely pink nails and extra long nail beds as the cuticles have been burnt off by the nitromores!
ok, time to apply tips...got some lovely white plastic cups...if you cut length-ways, you get the C-curve! cut all to size each finger.
now glue on with hot glue gun. again client mite feel sight burning....just explain that her nail beds are very thin...something she was born with!!
while drying....light another fag and make a coffee for your self. turn on tv to watch Loose Women...it will take clients eye off you...! finish fag and coffee...you can turn tv off now cause you must hold conversation with client with your fag and coffee breath....

now its gel time.....my favorite...clear bathroom sealent...no need for a lamp to cure..its air dry!
apply sealant with gun all over nail...making sure you cap free edge..at least 1cm over. this will stop it from lifting off. no need to file...its stays shiney and any lumps add to the ripple effect!!
There, lovely set of gel nails...white tips..pink nail beds and super shiney!!!
dont forget to tell client to use errr 'her' KY jelly..3 times aday, especially last thing at night...it keeps nails lubricated.

 

[Zuise.e]

As a lover of high tech gadgets, I have a high tech salon kitchen. I firstly sanitise not just the client’s hands – I throw the whole client into the dishwasher and set the dishwasher to auto sensor – which senses how much sanitation they require. This has an added feature for clients as it includes a hair wash at no extra charge. I soften the cuticles using lenor (ylang ylang plus fruits of the forest flavour)
Once I have applied the tips I trim to size with my Moulinex electric carver and shape with the electric tin opener (the wedding present we all got and sits at the back of the cupboard next to the bread maker)
For my perfect l & p mix I use custard power & gin blended to the correct consistency in the smoothie maker. For the perfect “Custard blend” to match the client’s skin tone, a little chilli powder can be added for warm tones or readybrek for cool (with an orange glow)tones You can use the custard alone to give the fashionable and starting of a bacterial infection look – if desired. The gin is an added benfit for nail biters who can get drunk whilst they bite off their enhancements.. No need to buff my shiny top coat just involves dipping the fingers into hotdog juice (no hotdogs required) and sealing in the breville…. Der nerrr………..
My method is totally environmentally friendly, orgasmic (that’s the ylang ylang) and no animals were harmed during trials (apart from the cat whose tail got stuck on the smoothie maker blade)

 

[min11]

I'm definately thinking my tutor was full of it and just trying to get me to spend lots of dosh on expensive products and tools when I have a basement full of stuff here at home thats just as good.

But you are all still very scarey, and strangely none of my friends fancy a set of nails now either, cant imagine why

 

[Nafia]

what about the uv sealer i was thinking lard or ky jelly

 

[princessniknox]

well, thats o.k if you work in a high end salon, but a tad expensive for us mere mortals. i find a very economical way of sanitising hands is to spit on the palms and wipe them down your jeans, obviously get the client to do the same, you wouldnt use your spit on the clients hands as that would be unhygienic.

L M A O !!!!!:lol:

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Well I have re read through the whole thread and there are same fab ideas. I'd like to thank all who took part in a silly bit of fun, but in a funny sort of way it showed how we should really work. It was blinking hard to decide whose was the funniest, CB (Oceana) with her pedicures biting off the toe nails (decided I don't like feet again!), Globug and her S'not Nice Nails, or the thought of Fiona with tears straming down her legs. They sure made me laugh!

But the winner of the 3000 Geekmolians for her truly technologically advanced techniques is .... drum roll please ...

Suzie

As a lover of high tech gadgets, I have a high tech salon kitchen. I firstly sanitise not just the client’s hands – I throw the whole client into the dishwasher and set the dishwasher to auto sensor – which senses how much sanitation they require. This has an added feature for clients as it includes a hair wash at no extra charge. I soften the cuticles using lenor (ylang ylang plus fruits of the forest flavour)
Once I have applied the tips I trim to size with my Moulinex electric carver and shape with the electric tin opener (the wedding present we all got and sits at the back of the cupboard next to the bread maker)
For my perfect l & p mix I use custard power & gin blended to the correct consistency in the smoothie maker. For the perfect “Custard blend” to match the client’s skin tone, a little chilli powder can be added for warm tones or readybrek for cool (with an orange glow)tones You can use the custard alone to give the fashionable and starting of a bacterial infection look – if desired. The gin is an added benfit for nail biters who can get drunk whilst they bite off their enhancements.. No need to buff my shiny top coat just involves dipping the fingers into hotdog juice (no hotdogs required) and sealing in the breville…. Der nerrr………..
My method is totally environmentally friendly, orgasmic (that’s the ylang ylang) and no animals were harmed during trials (apart from the cat whose tail got stuck on the smoothie maker blade)

The custard blend is what really swung it for me . Consider yourself a Shming Shmonger of the highest order! and the moolahs are on their way!

 

[Zuise.e]

My acceptance speech:

I'd just like to say on behalf of myself (and my cat) thankyou for picking me as winner,
I'm truly honered with this award and pleased that my custard blend has been recognized as a innovative way forward in the high tech world of nails.
I shall take my winnings, buy a porshe, hire a yacht and embark on a world wide tour promoting my work.
A special thanks also to Bosch, Moulinex, kenwood,Breville - and the cat (who looks better as a manx anyway)
Now where's the champagne!!