Livid, need to vent, sorry.

[Lunarstorm]

I am livid right now and need to vent before I go and kill some supid f**king women who calls herself a mother.

At about 8.30 pm tonight, I was on my phone in my kitchen which is at the front of my house. I heard a child screaming and when I looked out of my window, there was a young boy on the floor in the road who had fallen off of his scooter. I waited a little bit before hanging up on my vets and going to help the little lad as I thought a parent or old sibbling would come to his aid but no one come.

There was no one out there with him with only two young girls, not much older than the boy right at the other end of the road. I helped the little boy up and could see his fingers where hurt, it looked like he had taken all the skin off (deep graze) off his finger tips. I told him he should go home and let his mummy look at his hands, to which he replyied "it's alright, I burned them on the cooker", I again said he really should go home just to let his mum check he was ok but he said it was ok as his mum told him to play outside. I could see he was younger than my own boys, so I asked how old he was, to which he replied 5!, I then asked where he lived and he told me number 2. Now I live in a long close with houses only on one side and I am at one end of the close and number 2 is rght at the other end, which is set back. There is no way that she could possibly see him from her house. I told him to go home, to which he wa;led off towards his house.

I came back inside and rang my vets back to see how my foster dog is doing after her surgery today and appoligised to them for having to get off of the phone. Next thing I know, this little boys mum turns up on my door shouting at me! WTF!! She starts going on about my shouting at her kid (which I didn't) and starts getting in my face. Now I don't loss my temper otend and hardly ever allow myself to get angry but I went mental at her.

Pointed out I had gone to help her child when he was hurt because he was screaming the close down and where the f**k was she! Her attituied was "he's a boy, thats what they do" (actual words she said). I then pionted out and as far as I'm aware, it's illegal to leave a 5 year old without a gardian, which she said it's not and that all the kids play in the close and he was playing with friends. When I told her at he was out there with no one and what would she have done if he was run over by a car instead of just fallen off his scooter(although I live right at the dead end people still drive up here too fast), as she was not looking after him, she started to walk away but I'd gone postal by this point. Told her if I see him out again without someone watching him, I'll be calling social services. She was saying well all the kids do it but when I said "well mine don't, I'm a responsible parent unlike you, I know where my kids are and I know they are safe. She soon shut up and walked off.

Now I called my husband at work as I was shaking with anger and needed to vent it before I did something I would regret when I calmed down, which turned out to be a bad idea as his addituide was "it's not our problem" which has really added fuel to my fire. He's told me not to get involved and not to call social services "as it's not our kids" and his attuide is one of he doesn'y want trouble coming to our door.

Now we moved her a few years ago after living next to the neigbour from hell and I understand where he is coming from but FFS no wonder there are kids roiting in this counrty with parents like that and no body does anything to stop the parents from neglecting thier dutie of care because of fear of reprizal. These parents don't give a fly rat rear end about thier kids and don't teach thier kids manners, repect or morals.

I'm torn between contacting SS and the housing assocatstion tomorrow or not. I really want to but husband will go mental and if I'm honest, I can't go through what I did at our last house again, so don't want to go looking for trouble.

HELP!!:sad:

Sam

 

[lauraj]

Aww Sam what a poor little boy, I can't believe she then came to have a go at you.

I don't know what to advise you to do as I'm not in that situation but I think I'd make the call to social service. They would investigate and send someone round to check on them, they don't take children away for no reason or anything. If she has no worrys about her parenting she really has nothing to worry about.

The thing is you say the little boy burnt his hands on the cooker and then he was playing on his own in the street at age 5. If something terrible happened to him you'd feel terrible and you'd blame yourself.

But then that is easy for me to say I don't live at the other end of the street from her and I'm very much a worrier.

Sorry I've not really helped at all have I

Laura

 

[kirsty]

I think the thing that would upset me the most in that situation is the fact that he said 'It's ok I burned them on the cooker' as if this is an every day thing and nothing to worry about, and also when you advised him to go home for his mum to check his fingers, he didn't seem in a hurry to go home, it's obvious he knew he would get no sympathy!!

If I was in your situation I would probably have been on the phone to social services already but that's just me, I act first, think second! I doubt social services could do much anyway. Tbh it would probably only cause you problems and I doubt the little boy would actually benefit.

Sorry I'm no help at all!

 

[Lunarstorm]

Thanks guys, I feel the same way about the burnt fingers, that really set the alarm bells off in my head, hence why I asked how old he was and where he lived.

I already tried to call socail services in my council (actualy called them before calling my husband) but they are closed until the morning. I know more than likely I'll end up calling them as I won't be able to ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just really don't want to have to move again. I had five long years of hell at my old house which took it's toll on my mental heath, it got too much and I ended up in hospital. In the end I got the proof needed and the neighbour from hell was told she would be evicted if she did one more thing to upset me in any way but by then I just wanted to get away from it all as it did not feel like me home anymore, more like a prison. I can't go through anything like that again, I just don't have it left in me so if it does kick off over this, I'm moving ASAP and I know the husband will go mental with me "for getting involved in somethings thats not our problem"

Sam

 

[kirsty]

Aww hun, I really feel for you! You're in a tough situation. I know I would want to make the call but that's easy for me to say, I've never been in your position and I'm still not sure that I actually would do it, especially if I had been though what you have :hug:

 

[Zo Zo]

I would feel exactly as you do. Torn.

I probably would end up phoning SS then feeling REALLY frustrated when they did nothing.

Please also keep in mind though, the Mum will know it was you and it may open up all manner of unpleasantness for you.

 

[mizzy_dizzy]

I'll be a bit controversial (sp) here but
Did you see any other signs of abuse?

Yes he was out playing Without an adult but he WAS with other kids?

Yes he burned his fingers but kids do these things and they carry on,
They don't slow down or stop for a few days because there Hurt ,

When you as a stranger,? went to him he went home and told his mum, seems to me like this kid knows the drill?

Maybe the mum needs some help , maybe she is depressed ,lonely , nieve or a bit stupid , maybe she had bad experiences with neighbors to before , some times having a friend can really help someone ,Even if it's not a close friend and just someone to smile at on the way past.

maybe you should go and clear the air ?
Just because you had issues with people that lived by you before dose not mean you can tar everyone with that brush but you will create that type of atmosphere and situation if you keep comparing the two things,

Do you want to have to walk past the house of someone you don't like every time you want to get out of the close? You said your self your last place felt like a prison,

Of course if you saw major signs of abuse get social serves in but over 1 bad experience I really think all you will do is make things bad for your self .

If you really want to call housing and social and it's a BIG can of worms to open, then I would advise you to first stop and think exactly what the out come would be that you want by doing that?

 

[Nails<3]

I am livid right now and need to vent before I go and kill some supid f**king women who calls herself a mother.

At about 8.30 pm tonight, I was on my phone in my kitchen which is at the front of my house. I heard a child screaming and when I looked out of my window, there was a young boy on the floor in the road who had fallen off of his scooter. I waited a little bit before hanging up on my vets and going to help the little lad as I thought a parent or old sibbling would come to his aid but no one come.

There was no one out there with him with only two young girls, not much older than the boy right at the other end of the road. I helped the little boy up and could see his fingers where hurt, it looked like he had taken all the skin off (deep graze) off his finger tips. I told him he should go home and let his mummy look at his hands, to which he replyied "it's alright, I burned them on the cooker", I again said he really should go home just to let his mum check he was ok but he said it was ok as his mum told him to play outside. I could see he was younger than my own boys, so I asked how old he was, to which he replied 5!, I then asked where he lived and he told me number 2. Now I live in a long close with houses only on one side and I am at one end of the close and number 2 is rght at the other end, which is set back. There is no way that she could possibly see him from her house. I told him to go home, to which he wa;led off towards his house.

I came back inside and rang my vets back to see how my foster dog is doing after her surgery today and appoligised to them for having to get off of the phone. Next thing I know, this little boys mum turns up on my door shouting at me! WTF!! She starts going on about my shouting at her kid (which I didn't) and starts getting in my face. Now I don't loss my temper otend and hardly ever allow myself to get angry but I went mental at her.

Pointed out I had gone to help her child when he was hurt because he was screaming the close down and where the f**k was she! Her attituied was "he's a boy, thats what they do" (actual words she said). I then pionted out and as far as I'm aware, it's illegal to leave a 5 year old without a gardian, which she said it's not and that all the kids play in the close and he was playing with friends. When I told her at he was out there with no one and what would she have done if he was run over by a car instead of just fallen off his scooter(although I live right at the dead end people still drive up here too fast), as she was not looking after him, she started to walk away but I'd gone postal by this point. Told her if I see him out again without someone watching him, I'll be calling social services. She was saying well all the kids do it but when I said "well mine don't, I'm a responsible parent unlike you, I know where my kids are and I know they are safe. She soon shut up and walked off.

Now I called my husband at work as I was shaking with anger and needed to vent it before I did something I would regret when I calmed down, which turned out to be a bad idea as his addituide was "it's not our problem" which has really added fuel to my fire. He's told me not to get involved and not to call social services "as it's not our kids" and his attuide is one of he doesn'y want trouble coming to our door.

Now we moved her a few years ago after living next to the neigbour from hell and I understand where he is coming from but FFS no wonder there are kids roiting in this counrty with parents like that and no body does anything to stop the parents from neglecting thier dutie of care because of fear of reprizal. These parents don't give a fly rat rear end about thier kids and don't teach thier kids manners, repect or morals.

I'm torn between contacting SS and the housing assocatstion tomorrow or not. I really want to but husband will go mental and if I'm honest, I can't go through what I did at our last house again, so don't want to go looking for trouble.

HELP!!:sad:

Sam

I know exactly how you feel. I live down quite a busy road where the boy racers speed down. There are always young children age 3-6 running in and out of the road without any parents watching them.
My OH had to swerve out of the way as a little boy no older than 3 ran into the road,the parents were no where to be seen and this has happened on a number of occasions.
Then the parents go mad at you for nearly running their child over,I have to get hold of my bf because he goes mental at them for not watching their kids.

All it takes is for some idiot to be speeding and to hit a child.

If you see a serious worry with this little boy and his mother then call SS. You are not a bad person for doing it,you are only caring about a defenceless child. If nothing is going on,then the mother has nothing to worry about.

I think there are far too many cases of child neglect these days from irresponsible parents and its not fair on the children to just stand by and watch.
My mum is a social worker and she is horrified with some cases she has had to deal with, she always says if you think a child is in danger do something about it because all it takes is one incident for that child to be seriously hurt!

Sorry for the ramble xx

 

[elliebee]

All too often we hear about cases of neglect in the news and my first thought is always "How could that happen"?

It happens because no-one wants to take responsibility. Everyone thinks someone else will deal with it and in the end NO-ONE does anything and the child suffers.

I don't think you should rush into reporting it to SS but if your gut instint is that the little boy is in danger, or being neglected, you can make an anonymous call to them. Maybe leave it a few weeks so it's not so obvious it was you?

People sometimes seem more inclined to report neglected animals than neglected children!

 

[dandelionpoppy]

Unfortunately some people react to a situation, where they perceive themselves to be challenged, with aggression. They don't seem to possess any other skills.
I suspect the boy had been told not to go so far from home, and, thinking you might tell his mum, had jumped in with the idea of you shouting at him. The mother then feels under fire for her parenting skills, feels you're critical of her, and ends up on your doorstep.
If only she could have swallowed her pride and realised that you had tried to keep her child safe, and maybe come with a bunch of flowers to thank you!
I honestly don't know what you should do re SS. Your gut feeling will probably tell you.
And this is easy for me to say, but don't be swayed by either your personal annoyance OR the potential for neighbour trouble.
It's got to be what's right for the child.
You can report anonymously, but of course she will probably guess it was you.
Good luck x

 

[Tan&Wax]

IMO its not acceptable for a 5 yr old to be playing out without adult supervision. I have a 4 nearly 5 year old & he doesnt go anywhere on his own. He has road sense but if his ball went in the road or a friend called him he may be disttlracted and after all there's plenty of time to play out when they're older.
We have lots of kids running around where we live one of them goes to nursery with my little boy & he regularly knocks for Arthur. My hubby asked him if his Mum knew where he was and he said "my mum don't care!". That just breaks my heart!
My hubby has also nearly run a kid over who just shot out on his balance bike - he looks about 5. Im sure the dad would probably not like my hubby asking for him to be kept an eye on!
If u report it she will know its u! I personally would just monitor the situation & if u have any cause for concen again then report it.
If the little boy is only 5 he will still be under the local HV & Im sure they are aware of any family problems if there are any.
Its a tough one but I personally would not want my life to be made a misery by some family that cant appreciate u were trying to help! If she got that arsey over that she could cause u major problems.
Hugs xxx

 

[mell8282]

I'm sorry but this child at the age of 5 should not be allowed out the front with older children. My older two are 12 and 10, I don't allow them out due to the world being the way it is today.

If I came across this situation, I would report it, just in case. These poor children never have any attention, no wonder theworld is turning bad

 

[Zo Zo]

A 5 year old should be in bed by 8.30, never mind playing in the street. I do agree with mizzy dizzy though, that the Mum probably has a lot of problems and isn't coping.

This is a whole different story, but a 12 year old girl was raped (statutory rape, by 5 men) in my town and it was something like half past midnight and her parents knew she was out, she hadn't run away, they hadn't reported her missing or anything.

The bottom line is, we as parents need to take responsibility for our kids, and if we can't because we're not up to it, for whatever reason, then I guess other people do need to step in and try to help.

As an aside, I witnessed a crime (a fairly bad one), I reported it to the police, the perpetrator was arrested but after questioning he was released because the police said a good defence would get him off. He knew it was me who reported him and I now have 8k of alarm system including 5 cctv cameras covering the whole of the outside of my property. Maybe I should have turned a blind eye?

 

[essentia]

Oh Zo how how awful for you and that poor girl. It is shocking what goes on. My sister also reported a crime with evidence and the guy also got let off, fortunately it was not one that would leave you feeling fear of reprisal.

As for the OP I would let things cool off for now - hopefully it may have jolted the mother in thinking about how she manages her son but I would still be vigilant and if he is further in danger then I would consider called SS.

 

[gillian w]

As an aside, I witnessed a crime (a fairly bad one), I reported it to the police, the perpetrator was arrested but after questioning he was released because the police said a good defence would get him off. He knew it was me who reported him and I now have 8k of alarm system including 5 cctv cameras covering the whole of the outside of my property. Maybe I should have turned a blind eye?[/QUOTE]


Not sure about your particular situation Zo Zo but with my husband being in the police i know that it is often the advise they get from the CPS that determines whether they let them go or not.

As my husband always says when hes not working he's a member of the public and society like any of us and he wants to see criminals get their just desserts.They are often just not helped by a stupid justice system.

He's lost count over the years how many times hes been to court for it all to be thrown out on some minor technicality after months of time, tons of ridiculous paperwork and investigation. Or someone will just get a fine because it was the first time they had done it. (More like the first time they got caught).

I also would think twice about shopping someone depending on the crime.Certainly in any way other than anonymously.
Invariably nothing happens to them but you have to live your life in harrassment and fear.

Family of friends had to go into witness protection when one of them witnessed a murder a man walked straight into a bar and shot another man while he was sitting at a table.The murderer was imprisoned but they have never been able to move back to their area or see much of their familys because the murderers gang and family members still want revenge.

 

[KattyKat]

I completely understand your frustration, anger and worry about the little boy.... But my question is what on earth did the little boy tell his mum, for her to storm to your house and make such a confrontation, especially after your caring act.

So then I wonder is the burn on the cooker story he gave you true?

I would be warey and just keep an eye out for now, maybe smile at the little boy and ask how his hand is, in a few days if you see him? then ask again how it happened, see if the story changes.

I just don't understand why he told his mum you shouted at him, and it must have been him telling her that.

 

[Zo Zo]

Gillian W - yes you're right it was the CPS.

Essentia - I do agree with your comment 'that poor girl' for many reasons but it was statutory rape because she consented. So it was only 'rape' because of her age, and apparently if she had been 13 rather than 12 it would have been a whole different ball game, i.e. the men probably wouldn't have got custodial sentences. The way it was reported, it was suggested it was her idea. So, quite apart from being out at gone midnight aged 12, how the hell did she grow up to want something like that for herself? Apparently her parents didn't even attend court.

 

[essentia]

As far as the 'men' were concerned they may have seen her as a consenting teenage lolita and presumed that as she was out at that time of night she was above the age of consent. If these men did know her age then it should still be classed as rape with the full force of the law, whether she consented or not because as you say how can she possibly want that for herself? Sadly some parents do let their kids do what they want and run wild, however I do believe that some parents really try and are at their wits end over how to control them.

 

[Zo Zo]

Yes, apparently they did not know she was underage. I don't really want to revisit the story but I seem to remember they turned themselves in. Still a bit disgraceful they would want to do that with / to a 16 year old though. Each to his own. I don't really get it!

 

[Zo Zo]

To the OP - sorry if I have sidetracked your thread. Let us know how you feel about it today and what you've decided.