*Han*
Well-Known Member
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: xxxxxxxx
My husband doesnt know if he loves me any more
- Thread starter Lady H
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lovenails1
Well-Known Member
Hi Helen, sorry to hear about your worries mate.
I seem to remember reading about a similar problem you had a little while ago, where he was going through a stage of doubts, is this the same situation?
Maybe he is genuinely confused and really dosn't know why, and more than likely it hasn't got anything to do with you, as strange as that sounds, you are doing nothing wrong, and it is just a personal thing within himself.
He shouldn't be out with other people tonight, that is wrong IMO, if I was you I would go down there and drag his ass back home to sort it out. But that probably isn't the right thing to do either.
I really hope you can have a good talk with him, and whatever the outcome, you will get through it, and you might even surprise yourself at how strong you actually are mate. xx
I seem to remember reading about a similar problem you had a little while ago, where he was going through a stage of doubts, is this the same situation?
Maybe he is genuinely confused and really dosn't know why, and more than likely it hasn't got anything to do with you, as strange as that sounds, you are doing nothing wrong, and it is just a personal thing within himself.
He shouldn't be out with other people tonight, that is wrong IMO, if I was you I would go down there and drag his ass back home to sort it out. But that probably isn't the right thing to do either.
I really hope you can have a good talk with him, and whatever the outcome, you will get through it, and you might even surprise yourself at how strong you actually are mate. xx
Lady H
Well-Known Member
I know I will get through it, i just love him and dont want to have to get through life without him, however I also dont want him to stay with me unless its because he wants to. He has really messed my head up. Plus, my job - Im starting a job where he works on 4th december, I can hardly work with him if he leaves me. I will really be in the sh*t
Maybe this is the thing that is playing on his mind? That he will lose his freedom at work?
It is really hard to work together and be a couple. I tried it and it was bad news, theres nothing to talk about regarding your day at work and you end up talking work all the time.
This might be whats bothering him.
lovenails1
Well-Known Member
Oh boy, that would be rough working with him if you are not together, sorry to hear that.
I really hope you can work something out together because you guys have been through alot together and that should count for something. xx:hug:
I really hope you can work something out together because you guys have been through alot together and that should count for something. xx:hug:
Lady H
Well-Known Member
possibly although he was the one who pushed it to get me a job, he suggested it, saw his boss, set up the interview. He says it is nowt to do with that like, plus we haved worked together before. I asked him if he regrets meeting me, he said Im the best thing that ever happened to him. It just doesnt make sense
Lellipop
Lelli Loo Loo
Why is it that some people think that getting out of a relationship would make their life better you know the saying the grass is always greener, The trouble is the reality isnt that at all lets just hope he considers your feelings and tells you the truth.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: . thinking of u, i know how you feel and you feel a bit like your heart has been ripped out and stamped on. hang on in there, respect his wishes of sunday.i think you are being unbelieveably calm and dignified. i'm sure when you talk this thru, you'll find he prob has an underlying problem which isn't related to know but it's just easier to takenit out on the person you're closet too x
poppy2
Well-Known Member
So sorry about this.
Try and think through the last 6 months or so and see if he has given you any clues that you may have missed. Has anything changed in his life with his job or friends or anything else that can make him unsettled. Has he mentioned things his mates might be doing that he might feel he is missing out on.
Try and talk now not on sunday. Try and go away from house if you can keep it neutral like go for a long walk so you away from normal things and ob your own. I think you need to get him talking as its unfair if you have no idea whats wrong.
Try to offer some sorting out time, suggest you both try and work on whatever comes up as a problem over the next couple of months. Dont say only a few weeks as things take time to sort especially when they serious.
Hope this helps but remember you need to try and think clearly and talk sensibly to gte anywhere and men often feel inadequate and threstened when confornted with wailing woman and wont be that cooperative and wil clam up like he seems to be now. You have to get him to talk about his feelings so you can try and sort the problem out together
sharen
Try and think through the last 6 months or so and see if he has given you any clues that you may have missed. Has anything changed in his life with his job or friends or anything else that can make him unsettled. Has he mentioned things his mates might be doing that he might feel he is missing out on.
Try and talk now not on sunday. Try and go away from house if you can keep it neutral like go for a long walk so you away from normal things and ob your own. I think you need to get him talking as its unfair if you have no idea whats wrong.
Try to offer some sorting out time, suggest you both try and work on whatever comes up as a problem over the next couple of months. Dont say only a few weeks as things take time to sort especially when they serious.
Hope this helps but remember you need to try and think clearly and talk sensibly to gte anywhere and men often feel inadequate and threstened when confornted with wailing woman and wont be that cooperative and wil clam up like he seems to be now. You have to get him to talk about his feelings so you can try and sort the problem out together
sharen
Tsia
Well-Known Member
It sounds like he is giving you mixed messages here!
Maybe he has panicked in a mid life crisis and is scared that he can see his life mapped out in front of him.
Men are really strange sometimes, and they think laterally.
..writing things down and definately talking should sort it, but dont expect the 'loving feeling' to come back after the first chat.. it'll probably take a couple of weeks with a little effort from both sides.
To lighten the air on our similar situation before, after the first chat, I grabbed him for a cuddle and said "you are a silly sausage sometimes"
Really broke the atmosphere and worked wonders in how he was feeling too..
Hope the calm chat on sunday goes well.
Thinking of you hun xxxxx
katherineiv
Well-Known Member
:hug: so sorry to hear this, the same sort of thing happened to my freind....
they were together 9 years, not married but friends b4 that for ages then out of the blue he says not happy and need change in life.
They split and sold home then bought new homes each but still going out alot together ( which we were all confused about) then my friend found some one else.. a very good looking south african blonde man):lick: which since been there to meet his family.
Then guess what the big green eye monster says he wants her back and misses her!!! mmmm bit jelous i think .
So sorry to waffle on but the grass isnt aways green on the other side, we all get up go to work, come home watch tele it life.... unless your really rich!
hope all goes ok for you x
they were together 9 years, not married but friends b4 that for ages then out of the blue he says not happy and need change in life.
They split and sold home then bought new homes each but still going out alot together ( which we were all confused about) then my friend found some one else.. a very good looking south african blonde man):lick: which since been there to meet his family.
Then guess what the big green eye monster says he wants her back and misses her!!! mmmm bit jelous i think .
So sorry to waffle on but the grass isnt aways green on the other side, we all get up go to work, come home watch tele it life.... unless your really rich!
hope all goes ok for you x
Hel i am so sorry i missed you last night wanted to be there for ya my sweet.
On sunday my friend you really need to sort this out with him and tell him you want to know where you stand, i remember you and mark going through a bad patch before hun and you are the worlds best talker from what i know of you, youve done your confidence boost course and well done to ya but you need to tell him how you feel and why are ya left hanging on a string thats not fair hel, it could be a mid life crisis for him but we all go through bad patches and maybe you need a wee break to sort your heads out, it does help sometimes just to make each other realise how you both feel about each other. Sending big big big hugs and mwoa and btw ive missed ya on here please dont be a stranger. Ill be thinking of you helen just pm me if you need a shoulder xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
jules xx
On sunday my friend you really need to sort this out with him and tell him you want to know where you stand, i remember you and mark going through a bad patch before hun and you are the worlds best talker from what i know of you, youve done your confidence boost course and well done to ya but you need to tell him how you feel and why are ya left hanging on a string thats not fair hel, it could be a mid life crisis for him but we all go through bad patches and maybe you need a wee break to sort your heads out, it does help sometimes just to make each other realise how you both feel about each other. Sending big big big hugs and mwoa and btw ive missed ya on here please dont be a stranger. Ill be thinking of you helen just pm me if you need a shoulder xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
jules xx
Glorsclaws
Photographic Geek
I know you may not want to hear this and I may be way off the mark with what Im going to say though its not because Im being insensitive, I do feel your pain (Ive been there).
I think youve shown more than enough patience with your OH after he has so cruelly stepped on your feelings & now its time to fight back back!
Starting to notice other women? wants time on his own? are the alarm bells ringing yet?
Wake up & smell the coffe hun, because from where Im sitting he sounds unsure and a bit bored.
I think if you want to make him value what he has with you, you need to inject a bit of fire back into the relationship. Dont let him see he is breaking you, when this happened to me, I found the more 'clinging' I became the more he pulled back, yet as soon as I realised life didnt have to revolve around him and I started doing things for me & having fun ... guess who came running!
Of course it isnt all that simple, that black & white, but please dont be a doormat for him because if he stops respecting you, youll find the love stops pretty soon after that.
Good luck Harvey .... and I REALLY do hope Im way off the mark in my thoughts :hug:
I think youve shown more than enough patience with your OH after he has so cruelly stepped on your feelings & now its time to fight back back!
Starting to notice other women? wants time on his own? are the alarm bells ringing yet?
Wake up & smell the coffe hun, because from where Im sitting he sounds unsure and a bit bored.
I think if you want to make him value what he has with you, you need to inject a bit of fire back into the relationship. Dont let him see he is breaking you, when this happened to me, I found the more 'clinging' I became the more he pulled back, yet as soon as I realised life didnt have to revolve around him and I started doing things for me & having fun ... guess who came running!
Of course it isnt all that simple, that black & white, but please dont be a doormat for him because if he stops respecting you, youll find the love stops pretty soon after that.
Good luck Harvey .... and I REALLY do hope Im way off the mark in my thoughts :hug:
motherbird
Well-Known Member
I think Glo has hit the nail. You have to be strong girl - I know you must feel like the air is knocked out of you, take Glo's advice, get back up and put on a front. Make contingency plans, you never know when you might need em.
Sending you lots of :Love: and hoping like hell that things pick up for you.
Sending you lots of :Love: and hoping like hell that things pick up for you.
glittergirl
Blingin' Brummie Geek
Oh honey thats so sad.....
((((Harvey)))) I hope things improve for you soon *kiss*
((((Harvey)))) I hope things improve for you soon *kiss*
lisaloveliness
Well-Known Member
I no its not easy but he prob just needs some time to think for what ever reason he has said this to you.
sometimes we all want different things in life but grass isnt always greener hopefully he will come round chick chin up
Hi Hun
:hug: :hug: :hug:
I think you need to tell him that the grass is not greener, sounds like he is having a midlife crisis.
Hope all goes well, will be thinking of you.
xx
Glamnails72
Well-Known Member
Harvey, I'm sorry you feel so sad and hurt, but although my perspective maybe somewhat jaded, I think Glo's right.
I read this earlier today, and just didn't know how to put it to you. Sounds somewhat like he wants to leave, but doesn't know how.
You must must must remember your self worth. Don't let his "I don't know's" bring you down. Whatever happens, you'll be fine, maybe not now, but I promise you will.
I can't tell you how much I want to be wrong, and I hope that on Sunday your husband realises what a total numpty he's being, grovels at your feet for forgiveness and confesses his everlasting undying love.
I'm just a PM away if you need anything :hug:
I read this earlier today, and just didn't know how to put it to you. Sounds somewhat like he wants to leave, but doesn't know how.
You must must must remember your self worth. Don't let his "I don't know's" bring you down. Whatever happens, you'll be fine, maybe not now, but I promise you will.
I can't tell you how much I want to be wrong, and I hope that on Sunday your husband realises what a total numpty he's being, grovels at your feet for forgiveness and confesses his everlasting undying love.
I'm just a PM away if you need anything :hug:
xtremities
Well-Known Member
Hi there.
first of all a big hug to you.
My friend is going through something similar at the moment. He said he wasn't sure how he felt about her after 15 years of marriage.
Please look after yourself. It is his problem. I have seem my friend really hit rock bottom and ended up on antidepressants. He went through a mid-life crisis etc. She came to visit me with him last weekend and I could cut the atmosphere between them with a knife.
she is constantly anxious about whether he is going to leave her. For now, he has decided to stay with her, but my gut feeling tells me that he is not happy with himself. It is not her problem and by taking this on board she has been quite ill with anxiety etc.
Please look after yourself and if you truly love him give him space and let him go.
first of all a big hug to you.
My friend is going through something similar at the moment. He said he wasn't sure how he felt about her after 15 years of marriage.
Please look after yourself. It is his problem. I have seem my friend really hit rock bottom and ended up on antidepressants. He went through a mid-life crisis etc. She came to visit me with him last weekend and I could cut the atmosphere between them with a knife.
she is constantly anxious about whether he is going to leave her. For now, he has decided to stay with her, but my gut feeling tells me that he is not happy with himself. It is not her problem and by taking this on board she has been quite ill with anxiety etc.
Please look after yourself and if you truly love him give him space and let him go.
I don't know what to say to you Harvey.
First of all, have some of these :hug: :hug: :hug:
I hope that you are able to sort things out soon but an important thing to remember is not to let your heart rule your head.
First of all, have some of these :hug: :hug: :hug:
I hope that you are able to sort things out soon but an important thing to remember is not to let your heart rule your head.
