Baggybear
Well-Known Member
I don't usually say much about my personal life on here but I'm going through the start of what I know will be a very tough time for me (and it's made worse because it's Christmas).
My parents and siblings all live aprox 100 miles from me. My dad is ill, he has been for a long time now but has recently gone downhill quite fast. There are many things wrong with him including cancer and problems with his lungs caused by working in the Mines when he was younger.
I went to see him on Saturday (as I felt I needed to ensure I saw him around Christmas) and today my sister has rung me to say he has got a lot worse and the Drs think that his time is running out fast.
I have been waiting for this news for a while but now that it seems the time is here, I don't really know how I feel, there are so many feelings all at once.
I hate that he is suffering and in so much pain and I hate how it's making my mum suffer to see him this way and have to look after him, and I want him to go soon so that he is no longer suffering & in pain but I also don't want him to go as he is my dad and I selfishly want him to stay and always be here for me.
I feel so many things all at once and I just don't know what to do with myself. I have been talking with my sister tonight on the phone and I said to her that I would have to try & keep things from my kids if anything happens before Christmas as I would hate to ruin this time of year for them but I am not sure if I would actually be able to hold it together.
To be honest I don't really know why I am writing this, I know you will all offer me great advice and there may even be people out there who have been through similar experience who can advise me of what helped them get through it.
So thank you if you have made it through all my ramblings. :Love:
My parents and siblings all live aprox 100 miles from me. My dad is ill, he has been for a long time now but has recently gone downhill quite fast. There are many things wrong with him including cancer and problems with his lungs caused by working in the Mines when he was younger.
I went to see him on Saturday (as I felt I needed to ensure I saw him around Christmas) and today my sister has rung me to say he has got a lot worse and the Drs think that his time is running out fast.
I have been waiting for this news for a while but now that it seems the time is here, I don't really know how I feel, there are so many feelings all at once.
I hate that he is suffering and in so much pain and I hate how it's making my mum suffer to see him this way and have to look after him, and I want him to go soon so that he is no longer suffering & in pain but I also don't want him to go as he is my dad and I selfishly want him to stay and always be here for me.
I feel so many things all at once and I just don't know what to do with myself. I have been talking with my sister tonight on the phone and I said to her that I would have to try & keep things from my kids if anything happens before Christmas as I would hate to ruin this time of year for them but I am not sure if I would actually be able to hold it together.
To be honest I don't really know why I am writing this, I know you will all offer me great advice and there may even be people out there who have been through similar experience who can advise me of what helped them get through it.
So thank you if you have made it through all my ramblings. :Love: