Avoiding Burnout

[RedAdmiral]

I need a little help as I can feel the onset of burnout/depression/nervous breakdown..............
The salons not doing too well but not too bad either, I find I am constantly working, be it actual work in the salon or working on the salon and its all gettiing abit much. I'm tired, grumpy at home, and woke up this morning with a pain in my stomach that I knew was just an excuse not to come in, I found myself asking my partner to go cancel my appointments :!: In all these years I have only been off sick a handful of days, I came in but feel I need time away from here.....................
Has anyone ever experienced this? I replied to the thread 'do you feel successful' and it dawned on me that I really REALLY want more work life balance.
How do you avoid burnout? How do you cope when the pressure is on?

Thanks in advance Geeks

 

[daisyl]

I think if you can afford (and I appreciate, this may not be an option), but you need some time out to get some perspective and hopefully recharge.

Is it possible to take a couple of weeks off - at the end of the day it is your health in question and nothing is more important. What do you do for you relaxation wise - perhaps a nice warm bath with some meditation (I find this really relaxing). I think you need to ask yourself what you really, really want. Running your own business can be really hard, sometimes for little reward, especially in the early months (or years). Look at where you have come - what you do have - instead of what you don't. You can be proud of yourself for having your business for starters. That is a great achievement. But it aint easy - as you know!

Sounds like you need some much needed me time. Do you have a good friend or partner/hubby whoever who you can go off with to a day spa for instance - or even a few days - get some pampering yourself for a change.

I hope things get better for you soon. YOU are important - make time for you. Lots of love

X

 

[champagne]

Snap! My life is the salon......dont know how my family cope.....

You need to take some time out......the clients dont really need to know....do a few 1/2 days ..... only take bookings at certain times...clients wont run off....they come to you for a reason...

Im as bad for not saying NO!

Sometimes you have to......you are supossed to be enjoying this...

Take a break and have some rest,,,,

 

[divalou]

i thought i was reading a post i'd done for a sec there hehe!

At the beginning of the year, I was really struggling, not sleeping, looking/feeling like crap, constantly anxious etc etc etc. Anyway, I thought i was heading for a nervous break down at the tender age of 22! That can't be right.
I suggest finding someone you can talk to, just let EVERYTHING out, whether you scream, cry, get drunk -whatever! it all helps.
Then go through your financial situation with a fine tooth comb. Figure our EXACTLY how much you need to take/owe/pay out etc so you know exactly where you stand. Even if it looks bleak, its better to know than not.
Set a target/date that you will review the business, as in decide if you stay open or wind down, that way it doesnt seem like 'forever' and you can start putting plans into action to get busier or to wind down. Find out all your options.
Take one extra day or half a day off just to get away from the place.
Buy some 5HTP supplements!! They help with frigging EVERYTHING! Google it.
Do something fun at work like do your own painting for the wall, get everyone to dress up, something silly or where you can raise some $$$ for charity.
Do something nice with your bloke! Even if its free, go for a walk/picnic etc.

Hope this helps x

 

[ukfaye]

Hi hun, I feel a bit like that too, Im mobile and work part time, but that has turned into 3 mornings and 4 or 5 evenings a week. No time for anything else. I just decided im going to book a week off, I have found a week in June where I only have a couple of clients already booked, I will ask them if they can move to the week before or after. Were going to try and get a last minute holiday deal.
Maybe you could do that too. Even if you dont go away, everyone needs a holiday, clients will understand. Then you can come back with a fresh head and make sure you perhaps book another week in the diary for after the summer so you have that to look forward to.
Take care and dont feel bad for needing a rest.:hug::hug:

 

[VHunter]

I need a little help as I can feel the onset of burnout/depression/nervous breakdown..............
The salons not doing too well but not too bad either, I find I am constantly working, be it actual work in the salon or working on the salon and its all gettiing abit much. I'm tired, grumpy at home, and woke up this morning with a pain in my stomach that I knew was just an excuse not to come in, I found myself asking my partner to go cancel my appointments :!: In all these years I have only been off sick a handful of days, I came in but feel I need time away from here.....................
Has anyone ever experienced this? I replied to the thread 'do you feel successful' and it dawned on me that I really REALLY want more work life balance.
How do you avoid burnout? How do you cope when the pressure is on?

Thanks in advance Geeks

I have to say that I feel a lot like you these days. The struggle of balancing a full time career and full time job as a mother is tenuous.
I always wind up looking at the list of things 'to do', and more than 1/2 don't get done in a day. My house isn't spotless like it used to be, and I'm always wanting MORE time with kids and MORE time to devote to my career (ex: practicing beads for an hour, or learning new painting techniques, or research...)

I don't have any magic answers.... but this is what helps me a 'bit' against the crunch of demands on my time.

I make a point of scheduling 'me' time in my agenda, where NOTHING/NO ONE gets booked for anything. On Mondays, when both children are in school and it's my day off; that is where I'll book something for myself for about 2hrs. Be it window shopping, luncheon with a friend, watching a movie... whatever... That's my weekly recharge.
Throughout the week, I give myself permissing to sit in Geek while kids eat brekky or while waiting for first client of the day, after I've gotten them to school.
At 10pm.. the clock stops and I do nothing: no nails, no housework, nothing. It's my time to 'relax' as there's no other time during the day. (it's when I usually either read, or play WOW with friends online)

No exceptions to these rules. If I didn't do this, I think I'd go mad.

There are never enough hours, and we always want to do something else, learn something else, start another project, etc etc...
In this generation, we expect far more of ourselves than those of the 50's. People are expected to do a lot more in less time these days, just because of the pressure of the mighty dollar and the advances in technology that enable us to do things faster. BUT just because we can do things faster, doesn't mean we should.

And while it's wonderful to want to do a gazillion things (I know I DO, do you really want to hear my list of ALL I want to do? LOL), we have to accept that there ARE limitations to what we can achieve and be happy with what we have. Take pleasure in the small things and the small achievements.
We're not superheros. We're people.
Ok, so yesterday, I failed to get the fridge cleaned. Ah well, it's still standing there.. I'll get to it eventually.
"F**k'em if they can't take a joke" I always say. One day at a time, one moment at a time.

Breathe, don't stress about it... and live the moment. Give yourself the right to take a break. Give yourself permission to accept that there are limits to what can be done in a day.

You live only once, ENJOY IT. No point in bashing your head against a wall and being unhappy.

ok, it seems what was intended as a short post turned into verbal diarrhea. SORRY :lol:

hth's:hug:

 

[RedAdmiral]

Thanks for that. I am what you call a professional plate spinner and I know it has to stop but I really dont know how.....
If me and my partner go for dinner I start talking about work, promotions or finances I cant help it. I've been reading alot but again my mind has been wandering and I'd love to go and have a massage or even go shopping but I feel guilty for spending money or being away from the salon.

I just did a mani/pedi and my client is off to Canada for 3 wks bliss.... gonna go home this wkend and see my family in Essex that'll help. Will def fill the bath up and light the fire tonight.

 

[RedAdmiral]

.

At 10pm.. the clock stops and I do nothing: no nails, no housework, nothing. It's my time to 'relax' as there's no other time during the day. (it's when I usually either read, or play WOW with friends online)

I really have to do this, I dont even have a set lunch break at work which results in no lunch being eaten (dont yell at me) I'm def gonna start doing this

 

[hippy-chick]

I realised a while ago that I couldn't be at a salon for full days, so what I do is work as and when needed. its easier for me as I do holistics and not many people just drop by in the hope of getting a massage, wheras beauty/nails is more of a casual drop in affair.

Rather than work 9am - 8pm 6 days a week decide what hours you want/are prepared to work.

then take some time out.

I take Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning off.

I generally have part of Wednesday off and Saturday afternoon off.

this gives me time to take myself off for lunch at a nice coffee shop or stay home to do some work on the computer.

I came to the conclusion that sitting in one place for all those hours is just not for me. I may lose out on some work, but I am sane!

All of this goes out of the window when I'm teaching, for example I was teaching yesterday today and tomorrow from 9.30-3pm. I get a 15 minute lunch break and work through. But, I make sure that I have some rest days built in the following week.

If your dream job (running your own business) is turning into a nightmare, change it.

 

[VHunter]

I really have to do this, I dont even have a set lunch break at work which results in no lunch being eaten (dont yell at me) I'm def gonna start doing this

YES YOU DO HAVE TO DO THIS:!: (nope, not yelling, just being a pushy bossy friend :lol

I understand re: "plate spinner"... friends often accuse me of the same.
Now, I'm taking a 20min break, after a crazy morning. Then it's back to the grind of laundry and such, another client, fetch car from garage, fetch one child from preschool, other from elementary, homework, dinner... then a double tonight with clients until 10pm... then it's WOW time hehehe

Please do set time for yourself. In the beginning, I'd set time for myself, and give into other people frequently, who made demands on my time. FINALLY I put my foot down and put a stop to it.
You don't help yourself if you're burnt out and depressed, because then everything goes to hell in a handbasket.

You'll benefit far more taking a little time here and there NOW as opposed to losing a GIANT CHUNK if you fall ill, laters.

Practice making "me-time" for yourself... once you get the hang of it and stop giving in to everyone... you'll feel SO MUCH better.

:hug:

 

[tog]

Then go through your financial situation with a fine tooth comb. Figure our EXACTLY how much you need to take/owe/pay out etc so you know exactly where you stand. Even if it looks bleak, its better to know than not.
Set a target/date that you will review the business, as in decide if you stay open or wind down, that way it doesnt seem like 'forever' and you can start putting plans into action to get busier or to wind down. Find out all your options.

This is fantastic advice.

From a practical point of view you do need to know where you stand financially. If you have recently started up in business then I think you need to be prepared to work very hard for the first 2-3 years, I know this sounds hard but I think others would agree with me here. So if you are just starting out and feeling things are getting on top of you already,then it could be time for a total RE-THINK. I don't mean to sound harsh but it might even be that self-employment is not for you.

However, if you are a year or two down the line, then hopefully you'll have a little money behind you and can afford to take some time off.

You will have to delegate, ie trust your staff, if you have them, to run the salon for you for a week or so whilst you take a much needed week off. And if you have no staff, then you'll just have to shut your salon for a week (I know this might sound unthinkable, but like someone else has said, it's your HEALTH we are talking about). So book that week out ASAP, before you get booked up too far ahead.

Yes it's great to get away with your other half, but may I suggest you go on your own for a day or two. I think the time alone will recharge your batteries and clear your head giving you some perspective on the situation. Also you'll have lots of time to think without anyone else draining you with conversation.

Then when you return home you will feel refreshed having had some 'me' time and more ready to enjoy the caompany of your family and friends. Even time spent at home relaxing is time away from the salon, which is what you need right now.

Before you go back to work, try to work out a working week that is physically and emotionally sustainable for you in the long run . . . ie cut down your hours a little if possible, even if it's one extra afternoon off per week, or cutting out a late night, there must be something you can change. If you donot do this, you'll find yourself slipping back into feeling the same as you do now.

And try and build regular time off into your year. This is very important in the long run, for you and your family. I think you will feel totally different if you know that every 3 months or so you have a little time off to look forward to.

Yes, I know that we need to work hard if we are self-employed. But to work non-stop for years on end is NOT sustainable and can only lead to burn-out. Also focusing on work, work, work constantly will turn us into BORING people.

I do hope you are feeling on top of your game again soon. :hug:

 

[rock chic]

your a bit of a workaholic from what i gsther red. suppose when your running your on show to tend to be like that. sometimes it takes alot of things in life to happen to make us realise that life is so short. my brother lives in australis and his motto is "here for a good time not for a long time". Enjoy spending time with your hubby ban talking about work after a certain time in the evening. kick back relax get some treatments done take yourself and other half away on a spa weekend and forget about work. if you burn out hun you'll be no good to them so go and recharge your batterys. best of luck and loads of hugs:hug::hug::hug:

 

[mcmog]

I know nothing about running a business, but I would like to say that I really enjoy your posts and find them inspiring - you are clearly so passionate about what you do.

The advice from the geeks above looks excellent, and I hope you can get a wee break in to recharge your batteries and review what changes you need to make to get yourself back on top form.

From personal experience (I used to work 14 hour shifts as a nurse and often didn't get a tea break never mind a meal in...) I have to say that you need to be selfish and MAKE time to eat, even if you only stop for five minutes and glug down some water and a banana...you will feel SO much better and able to cope with things if you eat properly. I used to think I felt fine on no food and just a bit of caffeine, but a few oatcakes and some fruit made a massive difference to how I felt.

I hope you're feeling much better soon :hug:

 

[angel fingers]

gosh, i'm suprised to find so many of us in the same position .

i have been dealing with some health issues for a while.its been tough and i have had to do something to help relieve my problems.

i first worked out how much i need to earn.

then i went through my diary and booked myself some days off where i didnt already have clients scheduled. i book 4 months ahead for regulars so had to go through and find dates that were not taken already. i have planned some time off right through the year so that i dont book appointments in and then need the rest.

when new customers called i passed on the number of another tech.
i can fit in one offs , but at the moment i cant take on the comitment of clients returning every 2 or 3 weeks.

where natural wastage of clients has occured eg. moved town, lost job etc i have not replaced them.

i have booked myself some further training to inspire me as i know it always gives me new vigour for my work.

i see this all as a temporary situation, and when i'm feeling better i shall start to take on more hours again. i am not going to get into this burn out situation again, i will moderate the amount i take on in future. i do expect a lot of myself and i feel like a failure when i dont meet my own targets, but i have come to realise that i have unrealistic expectations sometimes.
id rather do good work for a few less people than spread myself too thinly and have the quality suffer.

i feel very lucky that my finacial situation allows me to cut down on my hours for a while and i realise this is not possible for all. i'm definately starting to feel the benifits of my changes.


it feels like some sort of confession to admit that your feeling frazzled doesnt it.
exhausted annonymous, ....i'm susan and i am exhausted.:lol:

 

[Violet Star]

I was thinking the same today and was going to start a thread but i thought there isn't no point i don't want people thinking I'm whinging as Ive whinged enough on here about work and things lol

I'm home based and re-started my home based business in February 99% of my clients don't return no matter how many special offers i put on and text them every 2 weeks sometimes every week. Since completing my nails Ive only done one full set of enhancements and one NNO fingers and one NNO toes.

I have absolutely no money what so ever, I'm living off my mum and she is now struggling because of this. I don't have a social life my life is my business and its all i worry, think, talk about. I have a course booked which I'm struggling to pay for, Ive started driving lessons that Ive struggled to pay for. As Ive had to reduce my prices of some of my services my old leaflets are now useless and have the wrong number on them and i cant afford to get more which means no advertising.

This business is just not keeping me last month i earned 190.00 in one whole month now if i had children or my own house to run i just wouldn't be able to do it! Would be impossible.

What actually frustrates me is i sit and see some on here mention of how busy they are and so on and i wonder what are they doing right? and what am i doing wrong?

So Hun i do know how you feel x

 

[Jolicatellas]

Ah, Violet... I know just what you mean.

...i sit and see some on here mention of how busy they are and so on and i wonder what are they doing right? and what am i doing wrong?

I'm constantly churning over in my head, ideas, dreams, worries, stresses...
I think that more than any thing 'nails' are a mental thing. They take concentration even when we're not actually doing a set, we're still concentrating on nails. Perhaps it's an addiction??

As for your question about how others avoid burnout? I, for one, don't avoid it. It comes over me when ever it chooses and I don't know I deal with it all that well. Truth be told, I try to go away with the family every long weekend (I don't work weekends, they are family time). I did go away for a few days recently... & I did not think about work while I was away... aah Bliss!!

Like others have said, Red, take your breaks, have your (healthy) snacks, take time out for you, set days/times when you will NOT work. Go on a nice break, even just a weekend away, with a hot tub, wine, chocolates and your man. You'll be surprised to find that you don't even think about work while you're in that hot tub :green:

 

[RedAdmiral]

Thanks so much to everyone who replied to this post or who have PM'd me I really appreciate what you all have said and I hope we can all learn from this that we need to take time out.
I've been so busy these last few years that I've completed let myself go in every area so I have had my hair dyed a deep red, joined weight watchers and bought a bike Its a mid-twenties-mid-life crisis! I'm off to essex on Sunday to see my Mummy who's cooking up a feast and I'm gonna take my neice out. I'm closing the salon until thursday the part timer can come in on wednesday.

It makes so much sense to cut my hours, I act like I'm the only one who can answer the phone, work or clean properly, I def need to learn how to delegate!

This has been a big wake up call for me. I really hope other geeks are not sitting at home feeling the same because last week I felt terrible and it knocked onto this week which has been incredibly busy for me. My body was aching, I felt sick and queasy, constantly tired, grumpy n snappy and looked like a tramp. I now feel great, just writing it down on here got me talking about it with my partner who was so sympathetic and is giving me great support (and booked the flights home) and there's excellent advise on here that I'm def gonna start taking!

Thanks from a more smiley me :hug:

 

[Kim Lawless]

I know exactly how you feel and at times, I wonder if I do anything other than work. I spend every evening answering emails etc.

So, I'm now doing everything to make my life easier, such as having broadband installed at work so that I can do all this in between appointments.

Also, I've often toyed with getting a cleaner for at home, then feel guilty as though I'm being lazy, when I should be patting myself on the back for having been working flat out for 12 hours.

So, I've decided that whilst I'm paying £10 an hour to a cleaner, I can be earning a lot more in the salon, so it's good business sense to get a cleaner, rather than do it myself.

Give yourself a break......you deserve it. xxx

 

[Blue Rose]

It makes so much sense to cut my hours, I act like I'm the only one who can answer the phone, work or clean properly, I def need to learn how to delegate!

I totally agree with this. It's not so much a case of working harder, but working smarter.

If you have a part timer already, perhaps you could increase her hours so she does an extra day, giving you much needed time off. Clients will soon get used to seeing her instead of you.

Much as we like to think that clients love us & will only see us, at the end of the day, nobody is indespensible, including us as salon/business owners.

I've not really treated clients (except for holiday cover & staff sickness) for 4 or 5 years but the clients I used to do, still come in the salon.

I'd much rather pay out in wages & have less income myself but ultimately have a life.

 

[ann@vipnails]

hi, i was feling the same as you total burnout, i am approaching year 2 of my own shop and only moved into larger shop 5 weeks ago!!!! I have realised for me, i have to make time and just do it ie monday 9am gym tuesday 6.30pm pilates, thurs my late night i go for a walk before i get ready for work... I make a point of having my bubble bath even though i am so tired i dont have energy!!!

Its these things that help keep me flowing if i dont do I feel worse, im not saying i dont get tired still but i feel better for it.

Recently i found a great girl who gives me a half hour bns, i felt guilty but i need this to keep going and to help my back.

I hope you get some time out to recharge and get perspective back!!

I noticed its up to me, no one else understands you like you do, be good to you, all the best annxx