Changing your child's surname?

[ukfaye]

Hi does anyone know if it is possible to change your childs Surname, without permision from the father?
I split up from my sons father about 8yrs ago, am now happily remarried with a lovely daughter too. We obviously have the same name but my son still has his fathers. He see's his father every other weekend as long as his dad isn't going through another relationship break up,
He has never paid any money for his son, my husband has brought him up as his own for 6yrs paying for everything. I would love to change my sons name, is this possible without his dads consent??
Any advice appreciated.xxx

 

[Hope]

I am not 100% sure.....but as far as I am aware NO.

I changed my children's surnames 7 years ago but I had to have permission from their father, and he had to sign a form stating that he was ok with it. I know a lady who is in a similar situation to yourself (her daughter is now 17) and even the daughter herself has asked her biological father to let her change her surname but as he won't agree to it she can't. Of course once a child reaches 18 they can change their own name.

However you may be able to use a different surname but officially it won't be changed IYKWIM. I know of a child at school who is known as 1 name but any official documentation has her birth name on. May be something to look into?

 

[champagne]

As above, anyone can use or be known by any name...but offical documents will remain in the birth name...

Yes permission would be required if the father signed the birth certificate at time of registration.

 

[Poshfloss]

Hi,
Been through this, you cannot change their name without father's permission until they are 18yrs.
But what we did was give my son my new husbands name in school, dentist, doctor etc, but they knew on their records that it was not a legal change of name, and on his passport they wrote on a separate page also known as ........... so we could book tickets etc with the same surname as my husband and me.
My ex was not on the scene so he didn't even know, sure he didn't care either as he never paid any maintenance, we didn't want it.
Hope this helps........Phone the passport office etc, they are really helpful.
Or if it goes you could double barrel your child's name with you new name.
Best of luck
Lotsa luv x :hug: x

 

[Exquisite Touch]

I changed my children's surname by there request, if you were married to the father then you have to have his permission. I asked on numerous occassions to change theres but the answer was always no, so my eldest waited for him to knock on the door and said look I want to change my surname to my Dad's (he called my partner dad) he handed over his parental rights to my partner and i changed the kids names.
It took a while to convince him but when i went to the solictor there is something he said that they could do to help try convince him, i didnt go that route cos the kids asked him themselves.

 

[Violet Star]

I haven't changed my name by deed poll i just changed it to my mums maiden name i.e when I'm on face book and any other times apart from banks and driving etc i cant change it. But when i get some spare money i will change my name officially with deed poll as i do not want to be a part of my "fathers" family.

xx

 

[Jaffacake]

I changed my childrens name to my new husbands surname when we got married, I did need permission from the 'sperm donor' but he didnt put up a fight anyway!! the only thing that he was bothered about was if their birth certificate could be changed? which it can't be incidentally! why that matters is beyond me? He's another low life that doesnt see or pay for the children!

 

[Pebbles#1]

I take it you were married to your sons father, as you say you have `remarried`? If so
I think you will find it impossibe to make any changes without consent.

Post 1st Dec` 2003, all fathers, whether married to the mother or not, have parental re-
sponsibility for their chldren if they register as the father at birth. Prior to this date, if you were not married to the mother, a father will not have parental responsibility unless you have signed written agreement. Parental responsibility is important as it confers RIGHTS and responsbilities upon the father and even more important if the couple are not
married.
For example:
A child cannot be adopted by another without the father`s consent
A child cannot have their name changed without father`s consent

Good luck x

 

[collin]

Hi does anyone know if it is possible to change your childs Surname, without permision from the father?
I split up from my sons father about 8yrs ago, am now happily remarried with a lovely daughter too. We obviously have the same name but my son still has his fathers. He see's his father every other weekend as long as his dad isn't going through another relationship break up,
He has never paid any money for his son, my husband has brought him up as his own for 6yrs paying for everything. I would love to change my sons name, is this possible without his dads consent??
Any advice appreciated.xxx

Have you checked with a solicitor or maybe if you just ask your x you might be surprised that he agrees or maybe a compromise as follows.

Ive had this with my first wife..I adored her father and saw him as a bit of surrogate father to me..well he was terminally ill and he had no sons and as my x wife now couldn't have any more children her family name was destined to end at his death.

Given that I loved this guy dearly and my eldest son then (just under 18) was happy,and yes the system did need my permission) I agreed that my son could change his last name to include my last name as well as his gran dad's.

Was a nice thing to do in this case as my x wife is happy,my son is happy cos he likes his grandad and of course his grandad is over the moon that his family name will continue on into history...well kind of as a joint venture kind of thing.

Trouble is that after a triple heart bypass he was given 6 months to live...that was 10 years ago and he is still going strong...smokes 20 cigars a day,drinks like a fish and swears at everyone he meets..old bugger:hug:

 

[Voodoo]

if you weren't married to his dad then yes you can change his surname without his permission, and you don't even need to tell him about it - i did it last year when my sons were 7 and 10.

i wasn't married to their "sperm donor" and he hasn't got parental responsibility as he has never applied at court to get it - he's a drop out and i doubt he ever will apply.

if you WERE married then he has parental rights and can refuse to allow it, the only way forward would be for your husband to apply for adoption but you would also have to adopt your son as well...it's a strange law.

i used this company to do it and it was very straight forward.

UK Deed Poll Service - How to change your legal name by Deed Poll

you will then have to take the certificates that you get to school, the gp, dentist and bank etc.

your son's birth certificate will not be changed though, and he will need to show that along with his deed poll certificate in the future.

if you need any help with it, then pm me. :hug:

as an aside, why the hell do you put up with allowing him visitation if he won't even pay towards him?

i told my ex yesterday that he isn't seeing our 2 boys anymore as i am fed up of him having the nice side of parenting.

jue xx

 

[gemini7]

Yes you can change the childs surname as mentioned only if you were'nt married and if your child was born before April 02 (thanks Kylie for that one)

I changed my daughters surname by law and it cost £30 at the time and I had to state an afferdavid in front of a solicitor from another office which meant that from that moment she was legally regarded as her new name.

All legal documents apart from her birth certificate were changed to her name

:hug:

 

[Hope]

Just as an add on, when I changed my children's name I just drew up a letter myself, there is no need to see a solicitor and this form HAS been accepted by all official people, school, doctors, passport application.

My husband has also changed his name and again we just wrote the letter ourselves and this too has been recognised by passport office, banks, doctor etc.........there is no need to pay for name changes, either as a child or as an adult.

Hth's

 

[Lady_Stardust]

oops double post...see below.! :S

 

[Lady_Stardust]

I changed my surname through a solicitor to my step-dads surname when i was 13. All offical docs were changed and everything was fine. I've just got a certificate to say my name was changed. nice and easy, didnt need my real paternal dads permission either.

 

[~cHeRiSh~]

I take it you were married to your sons father, as you say you have `remarried`? If so
I think you will find it impossibe to make any changes without consent.

Post 1st Dec` 2003, all fathers, whether married to the mother or not, have parental re-
sponsibility for their chldren if they register as the father at birth. Prior to this date, if you were not married to the mother, a father will not have parental responsibility unless you have signed written agreement. Parental responsibility is important as it confers RIGHTS and responsbilities upon the father and even more important if the couple are not
married.
For example:
A child cannot be adopted by another without the father`s consent
A child cannot have their name changed without father`s consent

Good luck x

Yes this is right. We changed my sons surname with UK deed poll on the internet 3 years ago. It was very easy and relatively inexpensive.

We also looked into my husband adopting my son and again it can be done without his biological father's permission.

 

[Kim Lawless]

Best take legal advice, but I remember at one time, it used to be that you could change the childs name without the father's permission if you weren't married to him.

Also, it used to be that you could use any name you like without officially changing it, as long as it wasn't for fraudulant purposes.

 

[1999judy]

At the end of the day a name is just a name.
I was adopted by my stepdad (who to me is my dad) at 4 as my "real" dad couldn't be found..not sure if it was known (probably) but he was already dead (as I found out much later), so my surname was just the same as everyone elses.
I was NEVER the same as everyone else and pobably never will be.
It didn't mean I didn't search for him for 30 years and KNOW I was different.
I have 3 children with 2 different surnames..it's not a problem it's really just a name.
Sometimes there are much other bigger "issues" that may go on in your childs life than the name they have.
Medical history is just a "for instance" I've only ever known half.
Luckily so far not a problem.
But my name? Not as important x

 

[fifitrix]

I done this with my son as his father and I had split up when he was 1, when I remarried it was just before my son started school, so he was registered with my new married surname, and we let the docs, dentists etc know and I consulted a lawyer too.

My ex-husband never paid a penny from the day I got engaged to my now husband but said plenty about the name change. My son, when he was 15 was going on a school trip and needed a new passport and wanted his name changed officially, so I had to get a form from the local registrars, that his biological father had to sign.

My son wrote to him and asked him, all his own words and explained the situation and even put a p.s. "I have enclosed a self addressed envelope for your convenience"(wonder where he gets it from!) PMSL

He signed it and once again had plenty to say, I think because it was it was my son's decision, he felt he had to do it.

The law may be different in England. hth

 

[Dinkydot]

I would love to change my daughter's surname but my ex-husband my daughter's father will not give me permission to do so.....which doesen't suprise me as he will do anything to stand in the way of our daughter's happiness...!!!

xx

 

[ukfaye]

Thanks so much for all your replies, sorry only just got on the computer after my Birthday and Bank holiday weekend.
I was married to him, and I have asked him, he flatley refused to let me change his name.
He said he's my son and always will be, shame he doesn't have these strong ethics when it goes to paying for his upbringing eh
I totally understand in the scheme of things it perhaps is not so important, but feel it may help him feel part of us. He has been through so much and is a very insecure boy.
I will look into all you have said, it is so lovely to be able to get this advice. Thanks again all of you.x:hug::hug::hug: