Out of the mouths of babes

[gr8nailz]

When my son was 5, we were watching TV together at Christmas time and a "Feed the Children" commercial came on where the spokesperson stated that these children would not have a Christmas and that Santa would not be visiting this year.

My son spun around and said, "Santa's mean. I hate him. Tell daddy to shoot him if he comes in."

 

[kattyj]

OMG LMFAO
I was in line at a grocery store one time, and Mereena struck again (how come it's never Cailin??) Mereena was probably about 5 at the time. We were in line, and this fellow behind us was VERY VERY VERY dark skinned...almost like tar. She looks at him, tips her head to the side and says "how come he isn't white like normal people?" I ALMOST DIED!!
(what I don't understand is that her cousin is Mullato and she has island-pals that are dark skinned... so she should have been used to seeing it?)
Anyway, he had a nasty expression on his face.
I said to her "well, you know how Momma has green eyes and you have blue ones and Nana has brown?" She answered "yes?". I then said "well, it's because if we were all the same colour, it would be boring. Same with red hair, blonde hair, black hair. Then there's different skin colours" She smiles and says "oooooooooooooooh ok, like a rainbow?". I chuckled and said "yes, something like that".
The gentleman behind us still looked rather mad. What else could I have done?



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Yup, I've experienced that one! My kids don't understand why I'm tiny after 2 babies and my friends who've only had one each are a little on the bigger side....
How does one explain that?

It didnt help that it was a new relationship and she was unsure of me, everytime the ex came to see the kids she would ring up to tell him she loved him, obviously a bit insecure, and then for my son to say that to her!!

 

[kattyj]

When my son was 5, we were watching TV together at Christmas time and a "Feed the Children" commercial came on where the spokesperson stated that these children would not have a Christmas and that Santa would not be visiting this year.

My son spun around and said, "Santa's mean. I hate him. Tell daddy to shoot him if he comes in."

Ha Ha, that is sooooo funny!!!

 

[Kathryn Alys]

Another one....

When I was in hospital after having Oliver, Liam came to meet his new brother he walked in when I was feeding and had a horrified look on his face then turns to his daddy and says daddy why is that baby eating my mummy lol.

 

[gr8nailz]

My son, about 3 years old, and I were at the grocery store in the produce section and I was getting the fixings for a salad. I picked up a rather large cucumber.

My son shouted, "That looks like daddy's pee-pee!"

 

[gr8nailz]

Another time we were standing in line at the grocery store checking out and a red headed woman walked up behind us. He said, "Look mommy, that lady has red hair. She's ugly." I made him apologize.

He said, "I'm sorry I said you're ugly 'cuz you have red hair. You're ugly 'cuz you're ugly."

 

[Katelisa]

My son, about 3 years old, and I were at the grocery store in the produce section and I was getting the fixings for a salad. I picked up a rather large cucumber.

My son shouted, "That looks like daddy's pee-pee!"

I just read that as "My son, about 3 years AGO..." And I thought HANG ON... isn't her son in his 20's LMAO!!

 

[gr8nailz]

I just read that as "My son, about 3 years AGO..." And I thought HANG ON... isn't her son in his 20's LMAO!!

 

[gr8nailz]

When he was about 16, we were at the store and he thought he'd be cute. He yelled across several aisles, "Mom, they don't have the super mega giant mammoth tampons you need."

I replied, "That's okay, Kellen. Just grab the thimble-sized condoms for yourself."

 

[nailnewbie32]

My kids tend to ask questions that aren't appropriate in a crowded shop. I've been asked about sex, periods, what happens when you die etc


My eldest son is 11 and they started their sex ed classes in school a few weeks ago. I now get random questions at odd times.

I was putting food into the oven a few minutes ago and he asks the usual 'what is it? what time will it be ready?' then asks ' mammy do i still have my foreskin?' I replied yeah you do. He then goes on to ask what happens to girls when they get 'happy' because he knows what happens to boys! But someone knocked at the door so I haven't answered him yet (not that I even know how to explain it!) then he went back to asking about dinner LOL

 

[Katelisa]

My kids tend to ask questions that aren't appropriate in a crowded shop. I've been asked about sex, periods, what happens when you die etc


My eldest son is 11 and they started their sex ed classes in school a few weeks ago. I now get random questions at odd times.

I was putting food into the oven a few minutes ago and he asks the usual 'what is it? what time will it be ready?' then asks ' mammy do i still have my foreskin?' I replied yeah you do. He then goes on to ask what happens to girls when they get 'happy' because he knows what happens to boys! But someone knocked at the door so I haven't answered him yet (not that I even know how to explain it!) then he went back to asking about dinner LOL

I'd just tell him their private parts smile inside lol. :Scared:

 

[kattyj]

My son had the sex education video shown in the last year at primary school and he came home completely horrified that me and his dad had done THAT twice to have him and his brother, he said in the video the cartoon lady chases the man around the bedroom with a feather duster and the man hits her round the head with a pillow before they make babies.

Several months later he asked me how many babies I had lost before I had him, I told him 4, thinking he is gonna ask if they are in heaven, he was like oh my god, that means dad hit you round the head with a pillow 4 more times! Oh he was mortified!!

 

[nailnewbie32]

My son had the sex education video shown in the last year at primary school and he came home completely horrified that me and his dad had done THAT twice to have him and his brother, he said in the video the cartoon lady chases the man around the bedroom with a feather duster and the man hits her round the head with a pillow before they make babies.

Several months later he asked me how many babies I had lost before I had him, I told him 4, thinking he is gonna ask if they are in heaven, he was like oh my god, that means dad hit you round the head with a pillow 4 more times! Oh he was mortified!!

What an odd cartoon! LOL


Myself an my hubbie nearly peed ourselves laughing watching our daughter join the dots in her head of how she came about one day. The look of horror on her face was priceless.

 

[gr8nailz]

My son was shocked when he found out his father and I still had sex. I still remember exactly what he said....

"Why?! You have me!"

 

[kattyj]

My son was shocked when he found out his father and I still had sex. I still remember exactly what he said....

"Why?! You have me!"

When my youngest came home telling us all about the video and how he couldnt believe me and has dad had done that, the eldest boy said to wind him up, imagine though, nan and grandad have done that twice too! Oh my, his face!

I remember my sister telling me that mum and dad still had sex, I was shocked like your son too, I thought it was only for making babies!

 

[gr8nailz]

I remember telling my son, "Someday you'll want to do it." He said he never would and that it was gross.

He's 22 years old now with a beautiful girl friend. Doubt that he thinks it's gross anymore.

 

[MadisonsMummy]

A few months ago I was at the local shop with my 2year old daughter Madison. Conversation went:

Madison 'Mummy can I have some sweets?'
Me 'I am sorry baby but I haven't got enough pennies.'
Madison 'It's OK Mummy...you can use your card!'

My child was 2 years old!!!! I dont hold out too much hope for her Daddys bank balance when she gets older!

xx

 

[VHunter]

When he was about 16, we were at the store and he thought he'd be cute. He yelled across several aisles, "Mom, they don't have the super mega giant mammoth tampons you need."

I replied, "That's okay, Kellen. Just grab the thimble-sized condoms for yourself."

OMG please stop!! You're gonna make me piddle myself in laughter:lol::lol::lol:

 

[Elaine143a]

We'd just returned from dr's appointment at about 2/3 years old, when they check the boy's testicles. All ok. Went shopping, and in Adams (used to be a large chain store kids clothing shop) my lovely darling boy desiced to ask VERY LOUDLY like boys do, "Mum why was that man playing with my willy? "

OMG in a kids clothing store of all places!

 

[kattyj]

We'd just returned from dr's appointment at about 2/3 years old, when they check the boy's testicles. All ok. Went shopping, and in Adams (used to be a large chain store kids clothing shop) my lovely darling boy desiced to ask VERY LOUDLY like boys do, "Mum why was that man playing with my willy? "

OMG in a kids clothing store of all places!

you must have been mortified!!

I remember Adams from when my kids were little!!