phoebe_cat
Well-Known Member
Just thought you might get a chuckle from this email I've just received from a client....... I've edited the swearing (hope I got it all!!)
OWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Im sorry to email you, but my really ******* sore nail requires an appointment at your hospital.
Nail Accident 1:
Location: My Classroom in a Numeracy Lesson discussing Grid References and Coordinates.
Time: 1minute shy of 10.14am
I was repositioning the blackboard so optimal viewing capacity could be achieved by my young audience. In my haste, I trapped my middle finger on my left hand in between the big f*** off board and the unit in which it was contained. This awkward encounter with the chalk dust receptacle led to confusion, petrified bewilderment and then laughter all round from the children in front of me. For me, it was tears before playtime. I have a white patch on the side of my nail from the where I yanked my nail from its cosy bed.
I then had various periods of recollection throughout the day about the traumatic event earlier that morning.
Then I had parents evening which was successful.
After hometime, I attempted to distance myself from the scene of attack and agreed to pick up BF from work.
Nail Accident 2:
Location: Stadium Foyer (at the Coca Cola dispensing unit)
Time: 8.14pm
Excited about rotting my teeth further with full fat Cherry Coke, I eagerly poked £1 into the coin mechanism and because I simply couldnt wait, I jammed my first finger of my right hand SO F****** hard in the little coin dispenser. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! This really f****** hurt, and for a moment I forgot all about my coke. Ive wrenched apart the strong bond between my nail and the fakey jakey bit and my finger started to pulsate like Gizmos when Billy jammed it in the filing cabinet. Really f****** off at this point.
Nail Accident 3:
Location: Stadium Foyer (same place and still the at Coca Cola dispensing unit)
Time: 8.15pm
This a***hole of machine still owed me money which I didnt manage to collect first time, so again I tried, and my f****** thumb nail on my right hand got the f****** hat trick. I almost cant go on. In all senses. I cant type anymore with the severely limited number of fingers, and my second accident has left that cloudy white look under my entire nail.
Im sure it will all blow over tomorrow and my nails will just look like Ive stuck them on, but we may need to consider extending the time window on my forthcoming appointment with your good self on Saturday.
Hope you can assist me and reward me for my honesty and didnt say they just flicked off
Yours hopefully, R.
OWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Im sorry to email you, but my really ******* sore nail requires an appointment at your hospital.
Nail Accident 1:
Location: My Classroom in a Numeracy Lesson discussing Grid References and Coordinates.
Time: 1minute shy of 10.14am
I was repositioning the blackboard so optimal viewing capacity could be achieved by my young audience. In my haste, I trapped my middle finger on my left hand in between the big f*** off board and the unit in which it was contained. This awkward encounter with the chalk dust receptacle led to confusion, petrified bewilderment and then laughter all round from the children in front of me. For me, it was tears before playtime. I have a white patch on the side of my nail from the where I yanked my nail from its cosy bed.
I then had various periods of recollection throughout the day about the traumatic event earlier that morning.
Then I had parents evening which was successful.
After hometime, I attempted to distance myself from the scene of attack and agreed to pick up BF from work.
Nail Accident 2:
Location: Stadium Foyer (at the Coca Cola dispensing unit)
Time: 8.14pm
Excited about rotting my teeth further with full fat Cherry Coke, I eagerly poked £1 into the coin mechanism and because I simply couldnt wait, I jammed my first finger of my right hand SO F****** hard in the little coin dispenser. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! This really f****** hurt, and for a moment I forgot all about my coke. Ive wrenched apart the strong bond between my nail and the fakey jakey bit and my finger started to pulsate like Gizmos when Billy jammed it in the filing cabinet. Really f****** off at this point.
Nail Accident 3:
Location: Stadium Foyer (same place and still the at Coca Cola dispensing unit)
Time: 8.15pm
This a***hole of machine still owed me money which I didnt manage to collect first time, so again I tried, and my f****** thumb nail on my right hand got the f****** hat trick. I almost cant go on. In all senses. I cant type anymore with the severely limited number of fingers, and my second accident has left that cloudy white look under my entire nail.
Im sure it will all blow over tomorrow and my nails will just look like Ive stuck them on, but we may need to consider extending the time window on my forthcoming appointment with your good self on Saturday.
Hope you can assist me and reward me for my honesty and didnt say they just flicked off
Yours hopefully, R.
