Lets all have a good laugh !!!!!

[JessieBee]

This isn't really something that was done more said by the same friend, I knew this def lad and told my friend about him, I was chatting about him and she said to me "does he read braille?", I said "he's def not blind!" Pmsl silly sod, she has never and will never live that one down.

Another time we were walking across the road and I shouted to her "car!". She done this funny stagger thing which can only be described as a drunk crab and ran to the other side of the road and then she proceeded to tell me I had made her break her groin lol.
We carried on walking a bit and realised she was walking with a bit of a limp - she looked down only to find she had lost one of her heels in the process, yep it was in the road where she had done her funny dance!

It was sooo funny :lol:

 

[mercedes69]

Jessie your friend sounds like a scream...I like her style xxxxx :lol:

 

[lilly]

my twins asked me what sperm was the other day, before i could explain one of them said to the other 'ah i know, thats what dad says he has in his throat alot' ???? he ment phlem ! yuk ! i did struggle to put them right as we have been seperated a long while !

 

[mercedes69]

my twins asked me what sperm was the other day, before i could explain one of them said to the other 'ah i know, thats what dad says he has in his throat alot' ???? he ment phlem ! yuk ! i did struggle to put them right as we have been seperated a long while !

roflmaopmsl....:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[Lellipop]

I have loads but one of my funnier ones was when still at high school and walking home, Me and my mates decided to skid on the snow down the hill which is a road by the school I did a long skid and the next thing I know I am in a dark hole full of water
Some idoits had nicked the manhole cover out of the centre of the road and my mates said it was so funny watching me disapear before their eyes :lol:
I ended up being pulled out of the icy water and having to walk home in just my knickers because my skirt tore off on the way down the hole lmao

 

[soriminah]

My sister was mortified but the rest of us laughed.
We were at our other sisters wedding and my niece who was 3 at the time was flower girl. Halfway through the ceremony she ran up to her Mum who was matron of honour and declared loudly 'Mum, I need to do a poop'.
heheh - kids, gotta love them.

 

[Pickles]

A friend & I went to the '3 Mile' ( a local bar) for eats & entertainment . Well the booth we sat in is up on a step, I don't drink myself but my friend does & she had a couple of slings that night.
So, our night was done & we were getting ready to leave , so I stood up & stepped down to put my jacket on & when I turned around My friend wasn't standing there. I looked down & she was laying on the floor face down with all 4 limbs spread out. Needless to say she forgot about the step & went down.
Also when she fell she hit the bar stool with her forehead & shoved it a foot ahead. She was alright ( a little embarrassed ) we laugh so hard the rest of the night & I'm still laughing now!!!:lol::lol::lol:

 

[sj1973]

my twins asked me what sperm was the other day, before i could explain one of them said to the other 'ah i know, thats what dad says he has in his throat alot' ???? he ment phlem ! yuk ! i did struggle to put them right as we have been seperated a long while !

How did you explain that one !!!!!!!! :lol::lol:

I am reading all these and they have made me nearly wet myself....!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dee]

oh these are ace , i am sitting like a nutter pmsl

i cant think at the moment of really good ones , but i know we have loads ,

there was once my sister whos 7 yrs older and a LOT bigger than me (4 ft 9 and weighed about 6 stone ) tried to tell me after my karate class i couldnt manage to throw her over my shoulder , so shes going on and on being all smarmy , my mum was sat laffing and says ok then try it ! (bearing in mind my mum knew i threw grown blokes at my class )
then next thing wham shes on the floor , but she landed proper on her head ,lol , we pi$$ed oursellfs laffing at her , :lol::lol:
really it was a bit bad coz she might have broke her neck the way she landed,
but she did keep asking for it !

 

[sj1973]

oh these are ace , i am sitting like a nutter pmsl

i cant think at the moment of really good ones , but i know we have loads ,

there was once my sister whos 7 yrs older and a LOT bigger than me (4 ft 9 and weighed about 6 stone ) tried to tell me after my karate class i couldnt manage to throw her over my shoulder , so shes going on and on being all smarmy , my mum was sat laffing and says ok then try it ! (bearing in mind my mum knew i threw grown blokes at my class )
then next thing wham shes on the floor , but she landed proper on her head ,lol , we pi$ oursellfs laffing at her , :lol::lol:
really it was a bit bad coz she might have broke her neck the way she landed,
but she did keep asking for it !

I was wondering hen you was going to post......yor comments are so witty sometimes,i knew you have had a laugh in your life !!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dee]

i can also remeber one night my brother waking me up about 2 in the morning ) asking me if i wanted my easter egg , i am like yea yea, (i was about 10 ) so he goes come downstairs , shut your eyes , so i followed , as you do
he took me in the kitchen opened the fridge , pulled out an egg and asked if i wanted boiled, fried or scrambled !! :lol:
he was a sod , he also once made us get up at 7 in the morning , we all had hangovers , coz we had been out for my 17th bday , and made us run round the block in our jamas , the swine :lol::lol:

 

[Amethyst_Angel]

Oh my lord, so many stories and so little time.

The one that springs to mind for me is when I unintentionally waged a campaign of terror on the cleaner at a company I worked for about 10 years ago........ (are you sitting comfortably?)

When I was at University I used to also have a job at this company doing general office work. At the time I also happened to be dating this bloke who was a bit of a loser. One valentines say, said bloke was taking me out for a meal. In the year we had been together this was only the second actual night out we had ever been on, so I was keen to get home and changed ready for the occasion. I didnt drive back then and had to run out of the door dead on finishing time in order to get the early bus so I could get home and get ready. Anyway, I got out of the door and realised I had left my purse in my desk drawer. Being in a rush I ran back in, got to my desk and pulled the desk drawer open with some force...... just at the precise moment that the cleaner bent down to pick my waste bin up and I whacked her right in the forehead with the front of the drawer. Things like this normally make me laugh anyway because I'm quite cruel that way lol, but she stood up and staggered into the filing cabinet behind her, I really knocked her for six, so I had to try and be all apologetic and concerned whilst my colleagues hid behind the door practically wetting themselves laughing.

I never managed to catch that bus. Nor did the cleaner ever empty my bin in my presence again, but she had a lovely shiner for a couple of weeks!

oh it doesnt end there my friends........

The ladies toilets at this company had a strange layout. They had a cloakroom before you got to the actual toilets, which had a double built in wardrobe, you know, the sort with the mirrored sliding doors...... Well that wardrobe covered the whole wall on the entrance side, and the cleaner kept the toilet rolls in the bottom of there. One day, minding my own business I went into the ladies, swung the door open, and the cleaner was behind it, bent over reaching for the toilet rolls in the bottom of the wardrobe and I sent her flying.

I think she retired shortly after that

Oh my god that's hilarious!!! The poor woman probably thought you had it in for her!

Also love the stiffy c*cky pudding!! ROTFLMAO

:hug:

 

[Amethyst_Angel]

i can also remeber one night my brother waking me up about 2 in the morning ) asking me if i wanted my easter egg , i am like yea yea, (i was about 10 ) so he goes come downstairs , shut your eyes , so i followed , as you do
he took me in the kitchen opened the fridge , pulled out an egg and asked if i wanted boiled, fried or scrambled !! :lol:
he was a sod , he also once made us get up at 7 in the morning , we all had hangovers , coz we had been out for my 17th bday , and made us run round the block in our jamas , the swine :lol::lol:

Running round the block with a hangover? I think I would have died...